by Kaylee Ryan
“Cooper,” Tessa starts again, but I hold my hand up.
“I have to go find her. I need to make sure she’s okay.” Without another word, I take long strides as I make my way to the kitchen. I find Reese sitting on the floor in front of the dishwasher with a bottle of vodka in her hands. She’s drinking right out of the bottle.
“Hey.” I crouch down to face her.
“Hey.”
I point to the bottle. “How much of that have you had?”
“Just… a couple of drinks.” She hugs the bottle to her chest like she knows that I’m going to take it away from her. She would be right.
“Why don’t you let me take that?” I reach for the bottle, and she hugs it tighter.
“No. I’m not done with it.”
“Reese.” I move a wisp of hair from her eye, tucking it behind her ear. “Remember the last time you were miserable.”
“I know, but I’m miserable now too.”
My heart lurches in my chest. “Why?” I ask softly.
“You’re mad at me. You’re never mad at me. And… I’m mad at you too, and I’m never mad at you.”
I exhale. I can work with this. “Why don’t we leave the bottle down here, and we can go upstairs and lie down?”
“This is your party.”
“Nothing is more important than you, Reese. Surely, you know that by now?” Her green eyes shimmer with tears, and she nods. “Come on, you.” I take the bottle, which she lets me do, and set it on the counter. I then offer her my hand and help her stand. She wobbles on her feet, and instead of risking her falling, I lift her into my arms, bridal style, and carry her out of the kitchen. I don’t make eye contact with Nixon or Tessa when we walk past them. I don’t need to hear anymore. They’ve said their piece, and I heard them loud and clear. Right now, all I want to do is get her upstairs and away from all these drunk assholes. And maybe when she sobers up, we’ll talk. Talk about all the things we’ve been avoiding. Namely, me leaving. Maybe I’ll get the courage to broach the subject with her.
Maybe.
“Do you need to use the bathroom?” I ask once we reach the top of the stairs.
“No.”
I walk on past and down the hall to my room. Once inside, I carefully lower her to the bed, then go back and shut the door and lock it. Kicking off my shoes, I walk to the bed and sit next to her. She rests her head on my shoulder, and I feel as though I take the first deep breath I’ve taken since the party started.
“I don’t like it when you’re mad at me.” Her voice is soft.
“I’m not mad at you. I was worried about you. There’s a difference.”
“Yeah.” She sits up and kicks off her shoes before lying back on the bed. “Lie with me?”
Never able to deny her anything, I move to lie next to her. We’re both on our sides, staring into each other’s eyes. It’s intimate, but it doesn’t feel wrong. The party is loud below us, but here, in the confines of my room, we’re both calm. Our silence isn’t uncomfortable; in fact, it’s comforting to me. She’s here with me; she’s safe. That’s all that matters to me. Reaching over, I move her hair that has once again fallen into her eyes.
“I was watching you,” I confess, breaking our long stint of silence. “Like I always do. You looked like you were having fun. Then you went down. I waited three heartbeats before I was pushing through the crowd to get to you. He was just standing there. Sure, he was being backed away from the crowd, but I got through.” She nods. “You deserve someone who will always get through, Reese. Someone who won’t stop until they get to you.”
“You deserve someone who will love you for who you are. They’ll love that football is your life, they’ll respect that. I’m so afraid that you’re going to end up with someone who wants to use you for your name or your contract,” she responds.
“What contract?” I tease to lighten the mood. “I need to get one first.”
“Come on, Coop. We both know that it’s going to happen.”
Her smile, the same one she’s been giving me for years, it does something to me. Turns me inside out. My eyes fall to her lips, and I ache to kiss her. Just once, I’d like to know if her lips are as soft as they appear.
“When you look at me like that,” she swallows hard, “it makes me think you want to kiss me,” she whispers.
“You ever thought about that, Reese? Kissing me?” I toss the question out there. I know that I have more times than I care to admit.
She nods. “Have you?”
“Yes.” I’ll never lie to her. Never.
“All these years, and we’ve never crossed that line.”
“Nope.”
“Maybe we should. You know, just for curiosity’s sake?”
“You want to kiss me?” I smirk. I need to lighten up this mood before we fall into something that we can never take back.
“Yes.” She’s deathly serious. No shadow of laughter in her expression.
“Reese.” My tone is a warning.
“Cooper,” she challenges.
It’s wrong. She’s my best friend, but best friends do this kind of thing, right? They experiment? I mean, college girls who are just friends do it. I’m sure the guys do too. Why can’t Reese and I try it? Just once. Just a small little sample to experience what it’s like. After the thousands of times over the last couple of years that I’ve thought about it, I could put the question to rest.
Her tongue peeks out and wets her lips, and just like that, my decision is made. Moving my hand to rest against her cheek, I move in slow. My eyes hold hers, looking for a sign that she doesn’t really want this. Looking for anything from her that tells me I should stop.
“Kiss me, Cooper.”
All right then. I close the distance and press my mouth to hers. Her lips are soft and sweet, just like I imagined they would be, minus the hint of alcohol on her breath. I need to pull away, but I can’t do it. When her mouth opens, and her tongue swipes at my lips, any thoughts of pulling away from her are lost. Together we move closer. We’re now a tangle of arms and limbs, but our lips are busy kissing. It’s a kiss that I feel deep in my gut and has my cock pressing painfully against my zipper.
We lose all track of time, getting lost in the kiss. My hand slips under her shirt, and she moans. It’s a deep throaty sound from somewhere deep inside, and it gives me purpose. She wants this as much as I do.
“Tell me to stop.” My words are a breath against her lips.
“No,” she says before sliding her tongue past my lips once more.
Bliss.
That’s what this feels like. Pure, utter, complete bliss to have her in my arms. My hands having free reign to explore her soft skin. My finger brushes across her nipple, and she moans. My cock twitches, wanting in on the action, but I ignore it.
Reese pulls away, and I think she’s finally come to her senses. She finally realizes that we’re kissing and touching, and… it’s not what best friends should be doing, but she surprises me when she sits up and pulls her shirt over her head. What’s even more surprising is when she reaches behind her and wiggles and grunts until her tits spring free from her bra. What’s not surprising is the way my mouth waters when I take in the beautiful woman before me.
Unable to resist, I reach out and test their weight in the palm of my hands. My thumb glides over her nipple, and she shudders, tilting her head back.
“Come here.” My voice is gruff and full of need.
Once she’s lying back on the bed, I capture a nipple in my mouth. Her back arches off the bed and her hands find their way to my hair. I nip and suck like it’s my fucking job, and with each pass of my tongue, with each taste, I fall even further under her spell.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that what we’re doing is a bad idea. How do you come back from this? However, with Reese in my arms, I can’t seem to find it in me to care. My hand slides to her waist and easily slips under the band of her leggings. I can’t seem to rip my mouth away from her tits, but
when my hand reaches her pussy—when I feel how wet she is for me—I pull back to find her watching me.
“Fuck, Reese.”
“Don’t stop.” Her cheeks are flushed, but her voice is clear.
Sliding my fingers through her folds, I push one long digit inside her. “Oh, God,” she moans.
My cock is hard, painfully so, but I push forward. Giving her what she asks for. Slowly, I pump in and out of her, until my hand is coated. I add another digit, and her hands that are buried in my hair, tighten their grip.
“God, Coop, what’s happening to me?” she asks, breathless.
That gives me pause. I stall my movements and look up at her. “Have you ever had an orgasm, Reese?” Fuck, I hate thinking about her with anyone but me.
She nods. “But only ones I’ve given myself.”
I don’t ask who she’s been fucking, because I’ll kill him, so instead, I push the thought of someone else seeing her like this and begin to pump my fingers inside her. My mouth clamps down on her breast, and my thumb swipes across her clit. I have one goal. I want to make her come. I want to be the first man to ever give that to her.
I wish I could be the last.
That sobers me up. What the fuck are we doing? Reese is my best friend, not some random girl. She’s more than a drunken hookup. I worry that we’ve gone too far, but I can’t stop. I won’t stop until I give her what she needs. Turns out, that doesn’t take long. I suck hard on her nipple, as my thumb presses harder on her clit. I feel her walls squeeze my fingers. Her hands about rip my hair out of my head, and she cries out my name.
I don’t worry about anyone hearing her, not with the party going strong downstairs. What I do worry about is if I just fucked up? Did I just lose the best thing that ever happened to me, for a quick taste? For a quick feel? I don’t remove my fingers until she settles into the mattress, and her hands fall from my hair.
“Cooper.” I move up her body and stare down at her. Her green eyes are bright, and she has a dopey satisfied look on her face. My chest swells, knowing I’m the one responsible for it. She gives me a lazy grin, lifting her head and pressing her lips to mine.
The alcohol on her breath is just another reminder that this is wrong.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, pulling away.
“Nothing.” I smile, trying to hide my panic, but Reese sees right through me.
“You regret it.” It’s not a question but a statement.
“No. I could never regret any amount of time spent with you.” That’s the truth. I don’t regret it, but I’m scared as hell that I’m going to lose her. I don’t ever want to know what a life without Reese is like.
“You don’t want me?”
Grabbing her hand, I place it over the bulge in my jeans. “Does this feel like I don’t want you?” I want you. I want all of you.
“Then what’s wrong?”
I’m scared. “I don’t want to lose you. Reese, I’m leaving in a few months. I have no idea where I’m going to be living.” I pause, taking a deep breath. “You mean the world to me, Reese. I don’t want to ruin our friendship for a quick fuck.”
“I-Is that what this is to you? A quick fuck?”
“No. Not even in the slightest, but if we take this any further, I don’t know if we can come back from it.” I know that I can’t come back from it.
My words seem to pull a mask over her face. Her happy, sated smile is gone. It’s replaced with a smile that I can only describe as fake. “Of course, you’re right. We got carried away. This doesn’t have to change anything. It was one night of a little too much to drink, and we stopped before… well, we stopped, and we can move on past this.” She takes a deep breath and slowly exhales. “I’ll never forget it, but it never happened. Does that make sense?” she asks.
I nod. I can’t speak. I can’t seem to form words. I don’t know if it’s from the fear of losing her or the fear of never having her like this again.
This changes everything.
“Reese.” I force her name past my lips.
“Cooper.” She gives me a bright smile as she pulls the blanket up over her bare breasts. “It’s fine. We’re fine. You’re the most important person in my life.” Her voice cracks, or maybe that’s my heart at the thought of losing her. “Nothing is going to change that or take that away from us.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.” She looks down at the blanket clutched to her chest. “Can you grab me a shirt?”
Scrambling from the bed, I reach into my dresser and grab a T-shirt and hand it to her. “I’m going to go grab a quick shower. You need anything?”
“No. I’m just going to change and go to sleep.”
I take a step forward to what? Kiss her? I fucked that up. No more kissing from those lips. “Okay. I’ll grab us a couple of waters on my way back.”
“Thanks, Coop.” Her voice is small. Sad. And I’m kicking my own ass for making her feel that way. I want the happy, satisfied Reese back.
Grabbing some clothes and the key, I keep my back to her as I slip out of the room. It’s cowardly. I tell myself I’m giving her privacy, I’m still fully clothed, and well, she is not. Tossing my clothes in the bathroom, I rush downstairs and grab two bottles of water, and race back up unnoticed. At least, I hope I was unnoticed.
Locking the bathroom door, I set the bottles on the counter and rest my head back against the door. What the fuck did I do? “Please, God,” I whisper. “Don’t let me lose her over this. I can’t lose her.” Rubbing my hands over my face, I freeze.
I smell her.
Reese.
Fuck me.
I tear at my clothes, not stopping until I’m naked, and then I step into the shower. I turn on the water, and the shock of the cold jolts my system but does nothing about the ache between my legs. My cock is hard and angry. Angry that I walked away. It’s for the best. I know deep down that not letting things go any further was what was best for us. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel shitty about it. That doesn’t mean that my heart isn’t aching at the thought of losing her. I fucked up. I was sober as I only had a few beers. She’s been drinking. I should have stopped us. I never should have given in to temptation.
Resting both hands on the wall of the shower, I tilt my head forward and get lost in my thoughts. Every second of what just happened replays in my mind. She’s fucking incredible. Turning my back to the wall, I grip my cock in my fist. I squeeze and tug root to tip. Closing my eyes, I see firm, round tits, pert, hard nipples, and gorgeous green eyes full of need.
I see Reese.
My hand pumps faster as I remember the taste of her skin, the softness, and the way she fell apart at my hands. My balls tighten. My back grows stiff, and with one last stroke, I’m exploding. “Reese,” I moan.
My legs are trembling as I try to stand. It takes me longer than usual to get my bearings and finish my shower. Even just the memory of her has rocked me to my core. Once I manage to wash off, I turn off the water and step out of the shower. I take my time drying off and getting dressed. I’m stalling, being a pussy, and she deserves better. Grabbing the two bottles of water and my room key, I open the door and head back down the hall.
The room is dark. I find my way to the bed, setting the waters on the nightstand and crawling in beside her. I’m lying on my back, hands behind my head, staring up at the shadows on the ceiling. I want to hold her. I’ve done it a million times in the past, but this time, it’s different. It’s not just the companionship of my best friend. No, it’s the gorgeous, sexy woman that she is. She’s so much more. I’m battling with myself when she makes the decision for me. She rolls over and moves until her head is resting on my chest. My arms wrap around her and hold her tight.
“Night, Coop.”
“Night, Reese.”
We lie here unmoving, and eventually, her breathing evens out. I place a kiss on the top of her head and close my eyes. It doesn’t take long for me to start to drift off to sleep. Tomorrow is a new da
y, one I hope greets both of us with no regrets.
Chapter 16
Reese
I’ve been lying awake, for I don’t know how long, listening to Cooper breathe. The sun has just started to rise as the low dim light filters in through the window. We crossed a line last night, and it was blissful, and… everything. Then it wasn’t. For the last few years, hell, even longer if I’m honest with myself, I’ve harbored feelings that are more than just friendly for my best friend. Last night, I thought he felt the same way. Sure, he was hard—he’s a man, I was naked, that’s going to happen. But he pushed me away.
He couldn’t hear it, but my heart shattered.
Tiny shards of hope blasted into a million pieces. I don’t blame him. I’m not even mad at him. Cooper is and will always be special to me. However, it’s time I realize that we will never be anything but friends. That’s our story. That’s how it ends. I have to find a way to get past that. I can’t let it affect our friendship. I refuse to let it. Not having him in my life is not an option. I need to tramp down the pain and cover the scars from last night. That’s exactly what I plan to do, but I need a minute. Maybe a few hours to decompress. To get my head on straight.
Cooper has a lot of changes coming up. Changes that will not only impact his life but mine. The Combine is in a couple of months, the draft, finals, graduation, and then he’s leaving. I know it’s what’s best for him. I know he’s going to be fucking fantastic, and I couldn’t be happier for him that he gets to live his dream.
I just… need a minute.
Carefully, I climb out of bed, trying not to wake him. With my back to the bed, I slip off his T-shirt and slide back into my bra and sweater. With my boots in hand, I grab my bag, which holds my car keys from the floor. Slowly I turn the knob and let myself out of his room. I feel like I’m doing my first ever walk of shame, and in a way, I am. Although, I’m not ashamed of what we did. I am, however, embarrassed that I offered him more, and he shut me down. That’s my scar to bear, and one I need to learn to mask quickly.
