by Kaylee Ryan
“I need to piss and brush my teeth,” I say, giving her shoulder a soft squeeze as I pass her to leave my room. I shut the door behind me and force my legs to move away from her. I don’t know what’s going on with me. Reese seems fine. Sure, last night she was sad, but today she’s just my Reese. I need to get past this.
Thirty minutes later, the Expedition my parents rented is loaded, and we all pile in. Reese and I are in the front as I’m driving the first leg of the trip. Hell, it’s only three hours, I might just drive the entire way. Lord knows my long-ass legs would be more comfortable up front than squished in the back.
“Combine here we come!” Trey calls out, and we all cheer.
I’ve waited for this moment as long as I can remember. I can’t believe it’s finally here. Glancing over at Reese in the passenger seat, she’s singing softly to the radio, taking in the scenery. Without a doubt, there is no one else in this world I’d rather have on this journey with me.
It’s been a long, grueling week. The Combine was an experience I will never forget. Meeting the professional players, getting their advice and wisdom. Competing with the best of the best. If I never get drafted, I’ll still be glad I came. It was definitely a good experience. It helped to know that Reese and our parents were here to cheer me on. You don’t realize what the support of loved ones means until you are in this kind of situation. I know that they are here for me and no other reason.
“How do you feel about it?” Reese asks from her spot in the passenger seat.
Glancing in the rearview mirror, I see that everyone else is already asleep. They’re all exhausted, and I am too, but I’m too amped to sleep. Maybe it was getting so much time with Reese and our parents? “Good. I’m feeling confident.”
“As you should.” She swats at my arm. “My best friend, a professional football player. I know this has been your dream. We’ve talked about it countless times, but to witness this past week… the hard work paying off… it’s a sight to see. I’m really proud of you, Coop.”
“Thanks. I’m glad you were there. It felt right, you know?” I have the urge to reach over and hold her hand, but I know that’s crossing a line that I’m not allowed to cross.
There have been a lot of those moments this past week. She’s the first person I wanted to see at the end of each day. That’s nothing new, not really. We’ve always shared everything with each other. However, it does feel… different. I can’t explain it. I guess it’s just because of how weird things have felt between us lately.
“I’m glad I was there too. Just think, pretty soon, I can say I knew you when.” She laughs. “Hey, I should get you to sign something. Get your autograph now. I could be rich one day.”
“Turning into a cleat chaser, are you?” I tease.
“Hey, a girl’s gotta eat. I bet you once you’re drafted and make a name for yourself in the league, I could make more on one of your signatures than I could in a year as a social worker.”
“Social work is more fulfilling.”
“This is true. At least I hope it is. From all of my externships and job shadowing, I’m pretty confident. Sure, there are going to be bad days, but you have that with every job, right? I mean, look at you. You get taken down by tanks of men on the daily. I know that’s not fun.”
“It’s fun when we win.”
“It’s a rush for me, and I’m just a spectator. I can’t imagine the thrill or the high that it gives you. Especially with all those touchdowns you run in.”
“Go on.” I wave my hand at her. “Keep those compliments coming.”
“Stop.” She chuckles. “Truly, I’m so proud of you. You’re going to do great things, Cooper Reeves.”
The conversation lulls as she closes her eyes, resting her head against the seat. Now, I regret driving. I wish I could just watch her and take her in. It hit me this week that I’m leaving soon. After the draft, then graduation, I’ll have very little time before reporting to training camp, wherever that might be. I’ll have to find a place to live and get settled. My time with Reese is limited. I’ll go from seeing her every day to daily text messages and calls. More than anything, I wish that I could ask her to come with me. However, I know that’s not fair. I can’t ask her to drop the plans she has for her life, the job she has lined up, her apartment, just to follow me. Besides, I’ll be gone a lot. Between practice and games, and other team activities, I don’t know how much time I would have to devote to her. To our friendship.
So, yeah, I wish I wasn’t driving so I could soak up this time. I need to get it in while I can. I don’t know what the future holds. As far as my career goes, I hope to be drafted. I’ll be disappointed, but I have an education to fall back on. My degree as an athletic trainer will help keep me in the game that I love. As for Reese, that future scares me more than anything. I can’t imagine my life without her. I hope I never have to find out what that feels like.
About thirty minutes from the house, her cell phone rings. “Hello.” She pauses. “Hey, Hunter.” Another pause. “Yeah, we’re almost home.” She listens to whatever it is he’s saying. “Not tonight. I’m drained. Can I call you tomorrow?” Again, she listens.
I hate that I can’t hear what he’s saying.
“No. Coop can take me home.” She glances over at me, and I nod. “Okay. I’ll call you. Bye, Hunter.”
“Thanks for taking me home,” she says, sliding the phone back into her purse.
“You don’t have to thank me, Reese.”
“I know you’ve been driving all day.”
“Wouldn’t matter. You know that, right? That no matter what happens, if you need me, I’m there?”
“Are we there yet?” Hank asks, stretching his arms as far as they can go in the cramped space. He’s a tall guy, hence the reason I’m driving. I didn’t want to be cramped up in the back seat.
“Just about.” Reese turns to look at him.
“Reese?”
I pull up to the Stop sign and look at her. “Tell me you know that.”
“I know, Coop.” She nods, and that’s the end of it.
I wish it was just the two of us in this car so I could make her tell me like she believes it. I don’t need to air our dirty laundry in front of our friends. I need to make sure that before I leave to… wherever I’m headed, that she knows that no matter what, I’ll be there.
Chapter 20
Reese
“I wasn’t sure you were going to make it,” Cooper says when I walk into the house, dragging my suitcase behind me.
“You mean the fifteen million text messages that you sent me, and that I replied to, saying I would be here didn’t convince you?” We’re flying to Vegas today for the professional football league draft. Cooper, Trey, and Nixon are all going. All hopeful to be drafted and reach their dreams of becoming professional football players. Cooper has waited his entire life for this. Hell, I’ve waited for it as well. I’ve been there with him on every step of this journey, I’m not backing out now.
“I haven’t seen much of you lately.” He takes my bag and rolls it over next to his.
It’s his dig at Hunter. I get it. I’ve altered our pattern, but I had to. I couldn’t keep giving him all of me. It was too painful. Hunter is a nice guy and treats me right. We’ve been dating for a couple of months now. Nothing serious. Sure, neither one of us is dating anyone else, but we are a far cry from professing our love to one another. He’s easy to be around, and we enjoy our time together. For now, that’s all I have.
“You’ve been busy with the draft and graduation, as have I. Between school, my job, and the externship, it’s been hectic.” That’s all true. It’s also true that I might be studying more and making myself busier than usual. He’s leaving soon, and the distance is going to kill me. I needed to start the process of getting used to him not being there every day.
“And your boyfriend.” He says it as if the word leaves a sour taste in his mouth.
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
&nbs
p; “No? You sure do seem to be spending a lot of time together.” His tone isn’t accusing. If anything, I can hear the undertone of hurt. I hate that. I never want to hurt Cooper. However, he hurt me, and this is the only way I know how to deal. I’m slowly picking up the shattered pieces of my heart and laying them out on the table. One by one, I’m gluing them back together.
“We’re dating, Coop.”
“What does that mean exactly?” he asks, crossing his arms over his chest.
“It means that we enjoy each other’s company. We’re taking things slow. One day at a time.”
“Is he pissed that you’re here?”
“What? No. Of course not. And if he was, I wouldn’t care. He’s not my boyfriend. He’s a guy I’ve been dating. Nothing more. You’re my best friend.” The man I love. “I wouldn’t miss this. I’ve been on this ride with you since we were eight. No way am I missing the grand finale.”
“The grand finale, huh?” He grins.
“Yep. It’s all downhill from here. You’ve made it, Cooper. Tomorrow you find out where your future leads you.”
“Tomorrow? You got me pegged for the first round, Reese’s Pieces?” His grin is wide and contagious.
“Don’t do that. Don’t be modest with me. We both know how hard you’ve worked, and you know as well as I do that you’re going to know your fate tomorrow. And if you don’t believe me, I know your agent has been telling you what’s up.”
“Oh, you do, do you?” He chuckles.
“Stop.” I push on his arm. “Where is everyone?”
“They’re taking a later flight.”
“So, it’s just us?”
“Yep. Our parents are going to be there too. Did your mom and dad tell you they were going?”
“Yeah, Mom called me last night. I know they were on the fence, not sure if she could arrange the coverage at work.”
“Yep. They fly out tonight with Mom and Dad.”
“I’m so excited for you, Coop. I’m thrilled that we all get to be there with you to see your dreams come true.”
He steps closer and engulfs me in a hug. “I’m so fucking glad you’re here, Reese.”
My arms wrap around him, and I hug him tightly. I’ve missed him something fierce. I’ve missed his hugs. I’ve missed our talks. Just missed Cooper. I missed all of him.
I thought that keeping myself away from him was the right thing to do. I need my heart to heal, but in this moment, I realize I was wrong. I need as much time with him as I can get. These hugs are just down the road, and soon could potentially be across the country. I know his agent has a good idea of where he’s going. I know they’ve talked about it, but I’ve never asked. I don’t want to know. Not until I have to. I’ll deal with it then.
When he finally pulls away, his eyes catch mine. He stares down at me, and I swear if I didn’t know better, it’s yearning I see in his eyes.
“You all set?” I ask, breaking the moment between us. I can’t handle anymore moments. My heart won’t make it.
“Yeah. I’ll get our bags.” With a bag in each hand, he wheels them to the door. We’re only going to be gone for four days, so carry-on is all that we really need.
“Let’s take my car. It’s easier to maneuver in the parking garage at the airport.”
“Good idea.”
He places our bags in the back seat and slides behind the wheel. I get into the passenger side and hand him the keys. He’s driven my car countless times. In fact, he usually drives when we go somewhere, even if we take my car. This time though, it feels different. It’s a glimpse of what domestic life would be like between us, yet, at the same time, it feels like a cruel joke. This will never be us. We’re not going to be more than best friends. We’ll never be loading up our kids to go on vacation or visit our parents. I guess this time the reason is different because I know that the hope I once held is gone. Like a puff of dust into the early morning sky. Somehow, I need to learn to stop loving my best friend.
We’re three-wide, two-rows deep as we walk to the hotel where the draft is taking place. Cooper and his parents lead the pack while I walk with mine. Dad is in the middle, and Mom and I both have our arms linked through his. I’m glad because my knees feel weak. I’m so nervous for Cooper. I was reading last night that sometimes even if it’s an assumption that you will go in the first round, that’s not always the case. I know it’s a privilege he was invited. Only those slated to go in the first round get picked. Cooper, Trey, and Nixon all got the invite. They’re hell on wheels on the field together. I know the chances of them all going to the same team are slim, but those coaches, they’d be crazy to not attempt to be able to recreate the magic of the three of them on the field together.
We filter into the hotel and are directed where to go. Apparently, all players and their families and agents wait in an area they refer to as the green room. There are tables set up with players’ names on them. We’re led to Cooper’s table, and everyone begins to take their seats.
“Reese.” Cooper says my name to get my attention. He pats the chair next to his on the opposite side of the table.
I nod and join him. “How you feeling?” I ask him.
“Like I’m dreaming. Can you believe we’re here?”
“You’re here, Cooper. This is from all of your hard work, dedication, and love of the game. That’s why we’re sitting at this table. You did it.” I reach over and give his hand a gentle squeeze.
“It’s fucking crazy, Reese. It’s all happening so fast. Soon I’m going to be packing and moving. I’ll be heading to training camp.”
“Yeah, you are,” I say with a smile. I hide the pain of losing him. This is his day, his moment. I won’t ruin that. My phone vibrates from its spot on the table, glancing at the screen I see Hunter’s name.
“Checking up on you?” Cooper asks. His voice is tight.
“I doubt it. I haven’t talked to him all day.” Grabbing my phone, I swipe the screen and pull up the message. I know Cooper is reading over my shoulder, but I don’t care. There’s nothing in this message that he can’t read.
Hunter: Hey, you. Just wanted to tell you I’m thinking about you.
Hunter: Tell Cooper good luck tonight.
Me: Thanks.
I send him a picture of the wall that has the professional football league’s logo.
Hunter: Surreal!
“He makes it hard for me to hate him,” Cooper says from his seat next to me.
I turn to face him, and he’s close. Closer than I thought. All either of us would have to do is lean in just a fraction, and we’d be kissing. Something I’ll never experience again, but also something I’ll never forget as long as I live, is the feel of his lips pressed against mine.
“What are you talking about?” I ask. Neither one of us makes an effort to move out of the other’s space.
“Hunter. That message. It makes it hard for me to hate him.”
“Why do you want to hate him, Coop?”
His brown eyes hold mine. He leans in a little closer, and his voice is low and gruff. “Because he has you.”
Before I can ask him what he means by that, his agent appears, placing his hand on Cooper’s shoulder and effectively pulling his attention from me. My hands grip my phone as his words replay in my head. Because he has you. What does that mean? I thought he didn’t want me? Did he change his mind?
A million questions bounce around in my head, but I don’t have time to process them. Cheers erupt as the night begins. I try to clear my mind and focus on the here and now. This night, Cooper’s future. However, I can’t help but wonder what role I’ll be playing in that future.
“Honey, I’m so proud of you. No matter what happens.” His mom smiles at him. His dad and my parents both say similar things and offer him wide smiles.
Then he turns to look at me.
“You’ve got this, Coop.”
He reaches under the table and slides his hand in mine, resting them on my lap. “I’m glad you’r
e here for this, Reese. I couldn’t imagine being here without you.”
“Ladies and gentlemen.” The announcer’s voice echoes throughout the room. There are large screens placed around so we can watch what’s going on behind the curtains. “The Houston Tigers announce their first-round draft pick, quarterback Trey Anderson.”
I turn to look over my shoulder, where Trey sits with his family, and he has a shocked expression on his face. He’s also speechless. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen Trey speechless. Cooper stands, pulling me with him as we make our way to Trey’s table. The three of us hug, and I’m squished between the two of them.
“You did it, man,” Cooper cheers.
“Trey, we need you on stage.” His agent pulls him away. His family is all smiles and tears as he accepts his Houston Tigers jersey on stage. We’re all watching on the screens, and my smile is so big my face hurts.
“For the second pick of the first round, the Indianapolis Defenders pick running back Cooper Reeves.”
I freeze. Cooper’s hand that’s still holding mine squeezes painfully. “Coop!” I scream and launch myself at him. We were so close to our seats that a chair gets knocked over in the process, but I couldn’t care less.
He did it.
My best friend is a professional football player.
“Second pick of the first round. Hell yes,” I cheer. He hugs me tightly, and when he pulls away, he kisses me. Right on the lips. There are cameras all around us, and I’m sure that will be shown on national television, but I don’t care.
He did it!
I try to pull away as his parents, and then mine, hug him, and just like Trey, his agent pulls him away from us. I stand, riveted in the place where he set my feet back on the floor and watch as he places a Defenders hat on his head and holds up his new jersey. I feel arms wrap around me from either side. Looking over each shoulder, I see Nixon and Hank. We stay huddled together, and with their hold on me, and my arms around their waists, I’m unable to wipe the tears from my face. After what seems like an eternity, Cooper comes back into the room, and he hugs his parents, then mine. Trey gets him next, then Nixon and Hank, and Tessa, who I didn’t even see beside us. Then his eyes land on me. In one large step, he’s standing before me. Hands on my hips, he lifts me in the air and spins me around.
