by Kaylee Ryan
“Yeah,” I agree. Not because I could get used to it. I was used to it. Just not with him. Only with Cooper.
I’ve been lying here awake for I don’t know how long. Hunter has his front to my back and is sleeping peacefully. I can’t find it in myself to move, partly because I feel guilty. When I woke up, I thought he was Cooper. Just for a fleeting moment… until last night came crashing back to me. I’m terrible, but not because I thought it was Cooper. That’s the only guy I’ve slept in the same bed with, that’s a normal reaction. No, the horrible part is, for a split second, a tiny minute slither of time, I wanted it to be Cooper. That’s why I’m going to hell. That’s why I’m lying still in Hunter’s arms, not disturbing him, even though my bladder is screaming for relief.
“Morning.” Hunter’s groggy voice greets me.
“Morning. I’ll be right back.” I wiggle out of his arms and slide out of bed.
“Where are you going, Reese?” he asks, his voice more alert.
“I have to pee,” I call out as I rush to the bathroom. I take care of business, brush my teeth, and leave out one of the extra toothbrushes I get from the dentist on the sink for Hunter to use. When I open the bathroom door, he’s standing there. “Hey, there’s a toothbrush on the counter for you.”’
“Thank you.” He bends to kiss my cheek and slides past me and closes the bathroom door.
Not really knowing what to do with myself, I head back to my bedroom. It’s not even seven in the morning. It’s way too early to be awake on a Saturday. I climb back in bed, and pull the covers up to my chin to ward off the chill of the air conditioning. Not two minutes later, Hunter is sliding in next to me. He pulls me into his arms and presses his lips against mine.
“I think I could get used to this.”
“Kisses in the morning.”
“Well, that too. I was meaning you. Waking up with you.” He kisses me again.
“You think so? I mean, you didn’t get a whiff of my morning breath,” I tease.
“What are we doing today?” he asks, avoiding my question.
“I was thinking about a couple of more hours of sleep.”
“Yeah?” he asks, sliding his hand over my hip. We’re on our sides facing each other. “Sleep is what you want?” he says, his voice husky.
“Umm… were you not here for last night’s conversation?” I ask.
“I said I wasn’t having sex until I was married, not that I wasn’t ever going to touch a woman’s body,” he explains as his hand slides under my shirt. The feel of his warm skin on my back causes a shiver to race up my spine.
I mimic him and slide my hand over his chest. “Who would have known you were hiding all of this underneath your clothes,” I say teasingly. But for real, he’s toned. Not that I thought he wasn’t in shape, but I guess he never talks about working out or anything, so I just didn’t know what to expect.
His reply is to press his lips against mine. All talking ceases as we explore one another. This is a new concept for me. I’m not exactly the most experienced, and I admit, it’s nice to know that sex isn’t the end game with us. That we’re just learning each other and taking our time. There’s no pressure. I’m not ready to take that step with anyone. Not right now. That ship sailed a few months ago when pieces of my heart were thrown overboard.
“I need to go home and shower,” Hunter says a few hours later. We’re sitting on my couch eating cereal. “What do you want to do today?”
“I was thinking about going to the outlet malls. I need some new clothes.”
He points to my room. “You mean all the clothes that are stuffed into your closet aren’t enough?” He grins, letting me know he’s teasing.
“Fine, I want new clothes.”
He chuckles. “I’ll go with you. Why don’t you get ready, then we’ll swing by my place so I can shower and then we’ll go?”
“You want to go shopping with me?”
“Sure, why not?”
“I don’t know. I mean, the only guy that’s ever done that is Coop.”
“Well, now you can add me to the list of guys who want to see you happy.” Something passes in his eyes, but it’s gone before I can define it.
My phone rings, and Hunter reaches out for it where it sits on the table and hands it to me. Cooper’s smiling face greets me. I rush to hit the answer button. “Hey, you,” I greet him.
“It’s so damn good to hear your voice.”
I smile. “You just talked to me, what, two days ago?”
“Two days too long. How are you?”
“Good. Hunter and I are getting ready to go shopping,” I tell him, smiling at Hunter.
“How’d you con him into that?”
“I didn’t. He volunteered.” He’s quiet so I change the subject. “How’s the new condo?”
“Good. I need some furniture still, but it works. That’s actually why I’m calling. I’m having some guys from the team over on The Fourth. I was hoping you could come up? Dustin is coming, and Nix and Tessa are going to try to make it as well. I know she’d love to see you.”
“Aw, really? I’m sorry. I already have plans.”
“Plans? Cancel them.”
Oh, how I wish he would have called twenty-four hours sooner. “I’m going with Hunter to his parents’ house in Florida.”
“You’re meeting the parents?” he asks.
“Yes.” I laugh nervously. I am, and I was good with it, but now I want to come and see you instead.
“Reese, I miss you.”
“I know. It’s been too long. I’ll come visit before training camp starts.”
“That’s like three weeks from now.”
“Okay.”
“It’s been months since I’ve seen you, Reese.” I can hear the sadness in his voice.
“It’s been three weeks, Coop.”
“Three weeks that feels like three years.”
“I thought you said months?” I laugh.
“With each minute, the time grows farther away.”
“Stop it. You’re too much. I’ll be there to visit the week before training camp. How’s that?”
“Fine,” he grumbles. “Just you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you bringing him with you?”
“I don’t know.”
“I prefer you didn’t. I need my Reese time.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“I miss you, Reese.”
“Me too,” I say. I feel uncomfortable telling him that I miss him in front of my boyfriend. I shouldn’t, but my heart still remembers, and that causes me guilt. I miss my best friend, but I also miss him, and the thought of what I hoped we would one day be.
“Talk to you soon.”
“Bye, Coop.”
“Everything okay?” Hunter asks.
“Oh, yeah, it’s fine. He’s having a few people over to his new condo and wanted me to come. Tessa is going to be there.”
“Oh.” The nice guy in him wants to tell me it’s okay. I can see it on his face.
“We have plans. There will be other get-togethers.” His shoulders visibly relax.
“Good. Go get ready so we can go.”
He grabs his phone and begins to scroll, completely unaware of the fact that my heart is racing and feels as though my chest might explode. He doesn’t know that my palms are sweaty or that when I stand from my place on the couch, that my knees are weak. I want to go see Cooper. It took everything in me to tell him no. I miss him something fierce. I know I did the right thing, but my heart, well, my heart just doesn’t understand.
Chapter 23
Cooper
My new condo has food covering every surface in the kitchen, and it’s filled with bodies. Some of the guys from my new team, Dustin and a girl he’s been dating, as well as Nixon and Tessa are here. It’s good to see my friends, but they’re not Reese.
I fucking miss her. More than I ever thought that I would. I can’t tell you how many times through
out the day I want to call her just to tell her what I did or show her something I bought for the condo. Then I remember that she’s at work. And at night, when we FaceTime, sometimes he’s there. I hate it. No, I fucking loathe it, but there is nothing I can do about it. She has to live her life, like I’m living mine. If you call what I’m doing living.
My parents helped me move into my condo that’s just a few miles from the stadium. I’ve had countless meetings with my agent and financial planners and coaching staff. It’s not that I’m not staying busy. I am. It’s just that everything in my life, circles back around to Reese. Something she would find funny or food she would love, or a story that I need to tell her. I don’t know how to stop it. I don’t know how to not need her in every facet of my life.
“Nice place,” Nixon says, joining me on the patio. “Have you talked to her?”
I pretend I don’t know who he’s talking about, and we both know I’m full of shit. “Who?”
“You’re sulking. This is your party and you’re sulking.”
“I’m not sulking.”
“You are. What happened? Did the two of you have a fight?”
“Like you don’t already know. I know she and Tessa still talk every day.”
“Maybe.” He grins behind the Solo cup that he brings to his lips. “But I want to hear it from you.”
“She’s meeting the parents,” I say sarcastically.
He nods. “And you’re sulking.”
“No, I’m not.”
“And now we sound like toddlers.” He laughs.
“I’m just disappointed. I haven’t seen her other than through the screen of my phone in a month. That’s a long damn time when I’m used to laying my eyes on her every day.”
“Did you tell her that?”
“What’s with all the questions? You’re a Badger now, so you gotta take that shit to heart?”
“Fuck you.” His words have no heat behind them. “I refuse to apologize for trying to help you see that you fucked up.”
“What?” I whip my head around to look at him. “How did I fuck up? I didn’t tell her to go and get a boyfriend and meet his parents.”
“No, you didn’t. But you did tell her that you were better off as friends.”
“We are friends,” I say through gritted teeth.
“All right.” He holds his hands up in the air in defeat. “So, you ready for training camp?” he asks.
“Yeah, you?”
“Yes and no. I’m not looking forward to being away from Tessa that long, but that’s the career we chose. She’s supportive and knows that there’s no one in my life for me but her.”
“Yeah? When’s the big day?”
“She’s planning it. Probably next spring, after the season ends.”
“You making Tess do all the work?”
“I want it to be everything she’s ever dreamed of. I don’t care when, where, or how. I just want her to be my wife.”
“Look at you, all sappy and shit,” I say, moving to grab another beer out of the fridge.
“Takes one to know one.”
I roll my eyes. He’s never going to give up on this crusade he’s been on for years that Reese and I are more. He just doesn’t understand our connection. Lifelong friends, and then to be torn apart. Anyone would be saddened by that.
“Hey.” Tessa joins us on the patio and gives me a hug before Nixon pulls her into his arms. “I just talked to Reese. She said she texted you but didn’t get an answer.”
Setting my beer on the counter, I pat down my pockets to find my phone. I turn to look and see it on the counter. Picking it up, sure enough, I have a missed text from Reese. “I don’t know how I missed it,” I tell her, swiping my finger across the screen.
“Could be that when I found you in here all alone, you looked like your mind was a thousand miles away,” Nixon comments.
Not a thousand. Only about two hundred, give or take. I block him out and look at the message.
Reese: Hey. Sorry I can’t be there today. I miss you.
She misses me. The last two times I’ve spoken to her, he’s been there, and all I got was a “me too.” It’s not the same as hearing her sweet voice tell me, but I’ll take it.
Me: I miss you too. I can’t wait to see you.
Reese: Tessa tracked you down I see.
Me: Yeah. Sorry, my phone was on the counter and I didn’t hear it.
Reese: How’s the party?
Me: Not the same without you. How about yours? Meet the parents yet?
Reese: Yes, actually, and they’re very nice.
Me: We still on for your visit in a couple of weeks?
Reese: Definitely.
Me: You coming alone?
Reese: That’s the plan.
Me: Good.
Reese: I gotta go. We’re up for cornhole. I can’t wait to see you!
Gazing out the window, I see one of the guys on the team and his wife, or fiancée. Though I think they’re married. Anyway, the two of them are playing cornhole with Dustin and his date. I hate that she’s not here. She should be playing cornhole in my yard. Not his. These next two and a half weeks are going to drag by. I knew I was going to miss her, but I never knew it would feel like this. Like there is a vise around my chest, squeezing painfully. It’s as if a piece of myself is missing, and I don’t for the life of me know how to get it back.
Gripping my phone in my hands, I want to call her. To hear her voice. See her smile. But she’s with him. The boyfriend, who seems like a decent guy, but I’m not there to make sure he treats her right. This is supposed to be an epic time for me. I’m a fucking professional football player. My first year in the league. This is what I’ve always wanted, but somehow, without Reese here with me, it just doesn’t feel as exciting as I thought it would be.
Four days. Four more days until I get to see Reese. I’m going to hug the hell out of her, so I should probably warn her. It’s been too damn long. As the days drag by, I get even more excited. I don’t know how I’ve survived this long without seeing her. I’ve been surviving on phone calls, video chats, and text messages. That’s not enough. Not for me.
“Cooper, are you even listening to me?” my agent, Jarvis, asks.
I’ve been listening to him for the last hour. We’ve been over all of this hundreds of times. “Yeah,” I say when we both know I’m obviously not.
“No, you aren’t. Do I have your attention now? I don’t want to have to say this a million times.”
“Yes. I’m listening.” I roll my eyes even though he can’t see me. Jarvis is notorious for repeating himself. I think the guy just likes to hear himself talk. That aside, he’s a great agent and works his ass off. No way would I have received the contract that I did without him.
“As I was saying, the Defenders coaching staff has decided to bring all the rookies in sooner than usual. You have to report to camp tomorrow.”
“What?” Now he really has my attention. “No. It was supposed to be Monday.” This is not happening. I’m so close to seeing her. Just four short days.
“It was, but things have changed. They want some time to acclimate the rookies to the stadium and go through some basic PR information before camp starts.”
“But we’re already reporting early.” Why do things keep happening to keep me away from her?
“Well, now you report earlier,” he replies, his tone flat.
“Is there any way to get out of this?” I can’t believe those words just came out of my mouth. This is my dream, all I’ve ever wanted, but here I sit on my couch, practically begging my agent to push it all back a week so I can spend some long-overdue time with my best friend.
“No, Cooper. There is no getting out of this,” he says, exasperated.
“Okay.” I’m defeated. For some fucking reason, the universe is working against me. Now, it’s going to be August before I can see her. She’s coming down for family day, but that’s going to be with our parents, and all the other friends and fam
ily. I just want a Reese day. Just the two of us.
“You have to report to the stadium at seven in the morning.”
Son of a bitch. “Yeah, okay. I’ll be there.”
“I’m working on some endorsement deals, but nothing concrete at the moment. I’ll keep you posted as soon as I have more details.”
“Thanks, Jarvis.”
“See you tomorrow.”
“You’re going to be there?” I ask, surprised.
“Damnit, Cooper, did you hear anything I just told you? Never mind. Don’t answer that. I’ll email it over to you, so you have it to reference. Let me know if you have any questions and don’t be late.” With that, he ends the call.
“Fuck!” I scream and toss my phone onto the couch. Bending over, I rest my elbows on my knees and dig my fingers into my hair. I can’t fucking believe this. My throat feels tight at the thought of calling her and telling her that I won’t be here. I hate that I’m going to miss out on my time with her.
This fucking blows.
Knowing I need to call her and tell her so that I can pack, I reach for my phone and send her a text.
Me: Hey, change of plans. Text me when you get home and we can video chat.
Her reply is immediate.
Reese: I’m home now. I had an offsite meeting and then they told me to go home for the day.
Here goes nothing. I hit her contact and wait for the video call to connect. “Hey, Co— Oh no, what’s wrong?” she asks when she sees the expression on my face.
“I have some bad news.” Fucking terrible, tragic news. Sure, I’m being dramatic, but that’s how much I miss her.
“What? Is it your parents? My parents?”
“No. Nothing like that,” I reassure her. “I just talked to my agent.”
“Okay?” Her brow furrows, and I know she’s trying to figure out where I’m going with this.
“I have to report to training camp early.” I grimace when I say the words because they hurt. Not physically, but my heart, well, it misses my best friend.
