by Lynda Aicher
All of the tiredness from earlier had been replaced with a fiery determination to do something. She had to consider the youth center, but she couldn’t abandon her friends either. There was a way to help everyone, she was positive. She just had to figure out how.
*
How in the hell did he become the middle man? Noah shoved the car into Park in front of the sign with his name on it and fought the urge to lay his head on the steering wheel and just sit there.
“Do you have any questions?” He regretted the curtness in his voice, but there was no withdrawing it now. Her sarcastic snort wound a fresh knot into his neck muscles.
“I have a ton of them.”
He imagined she did. “Any I can answer for you?”
She arched a brow. The starch in it matched her voice. “Any you’re willing to answer? You seem to be an expert at dodging and deflecting. Is that a lawyer trick or a personal defense mechanism?”
The laugh that burst from his chest was full and somewhat painful. Damn her for going for the direct hit when he was expecting the feint. He really should’ve known better. Fucking day.
He shoved his door open with more force than was required, rubbed his eyes and sighed. He was off his game if she could catch him unprepared like that. Points to her.
The confused expression on her face mirrored what he was feeling. “Come on,” he said, getting out of the car. “The others are waiting for us.” And yes, he was fully aware he was dodging again.
The echoing sounds of his shoes snapping over the cement filled the silence on their trip across the parking garage. Liv stayed quiet, hidden behind the hand that covered her nose and mouth. Concern had him studying her as they waited for the elevator.
“Everything okay?” It seemed like he’d asked that question a thousand times today. Internally, he screamed No. Everything was far from okay, and it was going to be a long time before it was again. If ever.
She returned his gaze but didn’t respond until the elevator doors slid closed. Only then did she drop her hand, a deep inhale expanding her chest. “Now I am.” She gave a shrug that was negated by her shaking hand when she brushed a loose piece of hair away from her face. “The gas fume smell in the garage is too fresh.”
Anything that triggered images of the accident was too fresh. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tugged her close. “It is,” he agreed. He dipped his head to take in the clean, fruity scent of her hair. That was much better.
The doors swooshed open, forcing him to release Liv before he was ready. Damn it. He propped a hand over the doors and ushered her through.
Vanessa paced the far wall of the conference room, her progression halting when they walked in. She looked between them, fear and questions shining from her eyes. Liv answered them all by moving around the table to give her sister a tight hug. No hesitation or question at all.
Noah took in the scene with a mix of amazement and something close to longing. Liv’s open display of acceptance when she could’ve—should’ve—been mad at all of them for their secrets and lies, showed more of that hidden strength that seemed to drive her. Damn.
“You could’ve told me,” Liv said, her words muffled.
The tension visibly dropped from Vanessa’s shoulders as she squeezed her eyes closed and returned Liv’s embrace before easing back. “Do you understand why I didn’t?”
“Not completely, but we can talk about it later.”
“Yeah,” Vanessa agreed. “We will.” She paused, her gaze traveling around the room, landing on Marcus, Carter and Rock seated at the table, then Noah, where he still stood in the doorway. “Are you sure you want to be here? You don’t have to be involved,” she said to Liv.
Liv pushed away, anger bursting from her in a hard slash of her hand. “Bull crap.” She spun around. “Would you all stop trying to protect me? I’m a grown woman who doesn’t need to be sheltered from something as stupid as bondage. I don’t give a flying hoot if you’re all into group orgies or pony play or whatever. It’s not my concern and doesn’t change the fact that you’re my friends.” She jerked out a chair and plopped down, arms folding over her chest. “Now can we focus on what needs to get done?”
Silence held for a good five seconds before Carter stifled a laugh. The choked sound broke the tension that laced through the room. Vanessa tipped her head back, laughing outright, which freed the rest of them to do the same.
“Pony play?” Marcus snorted. He smacked Carter on the arm and they both burst into open rounds of deep chuckles. “Do you even know what that is?”
Liv sighed and twirled the ends of her ponytail around her fingers as she leveled an indignant look at the man. “I might hang out with kids all day, but I do know where some people like to put objects bearing long strands of hair at the end.” She flicked her hair at him from between her fingers. “Not to mention the horsehead hood that goes with it.” She glanced around the room. “No offense.”
“Oh, hell.” Vanessa buried her face in her hands.
Rock shook his head, hand rising as he spoke for all of them. “None taken.”
The distress on his face, so contrary to his normal indifference, brought another round of laughter. Marcus sputtered over the words hair and end behind his hand and Noah chuckled with the lightened atmosphere, some of the stiffness loosening in his neck.
He sat down next to Liv and nudged her knee with his. The knowing smirk she shot his way pulled a full grin out of him when he’d thought it was impossible. He marveled at the ease at which Liv was able to turn the conversation and take the weighty seriousness out of all of them, even for a moment. It was a skill he didn’t have, and he’d never really thought about how valuable it could be.
Marcus wiped the tears from his eyes and choked out an apology. “It must be the stress.”
Vanessa looked up. “She’s just being a smartass.”
Liv winked at her sister but didn’t respond to the obvious bait.
“With that settled,” Noah broke in. He grabbed a file from his briefcase, along with his tablet, and set them on the table. “We have decisions to make and shit to prepare for.”
The gravity returned to the room in a span of a breath. It didn’t escape his notice that he had the opposite effect of Liv. For some reason, it annoyed him right then. When was the last time he’d made someone laugh?
Carter propped his elbows on the table. “Where do we start?”
Good question. Noah clicked his tablet on and scanned the list he’d made. There was a lot to cover and little time to make decisions. The anxiety set uncomfortably in his stomach and had nothing to do with the turkey sandwich he’d consumed from the hospital cafeteria.
“The first thing is anonymity.” He glanced at Vanessa, Marcus and Liv, ignoring their angry glares, and launched one more time into his spiel on why they needed to distance themselves from the club.
Chapter Nine
Six hours later, Noah shuffled through the back door of his house. His shoulders sagged and his head dropped forward in time with a long exhalation the second he stepped into the small entryway. What a fucking day. Or two.
The touch on the center of his back finally got him moving. “Sorry,” he murmured, stepping aside to let Liv into his home.
“No worries.” Her soft smile contained the same weariness that dragged him down. She hung her coat on the empty coat hooks, kicked off her shoes, tossed her bag on the floor, flicked on the kitchen light and disappeared around the corner. He didn’t have the energy to comment on making herself at home. What was the point?
He turned down the hall, cursing when he tripped over her bag and stumbled into the wall. What the—
“Sorry,” Liv called from the kitchen.
He shook his head, but the anger wasn’t there. Shoving away from the wall, he deposited his briefcase on his office desk and his duffel bag, along with Liv’s, on the stairs. A spread of lunch meats, cheeses, condiments and crackers were laid out on the bar when he returned to the kitchen. L
iv had her back to him, digging through the drawers.
“Aren’t you tired?” he asked, opening the fridge to grab a beer.
“Exhausted,” she said before slamming a drawer closed. “Where’s your cheese cutter?”
He pointed to the next drawer over. “Beer?”
“Please.”
She found the slicer, and he opened the beers, words not needed as he handed her a bottle. His first long drink was heaven and tasted even better when it flowed down his throat. Her deep sigh of satisfaction mimicked his thoughts exactly.
“You don’t have to do this.” He waved at the food then grabbed a slice of salami, contradicting his words.
She chuckled. “I know. But I’m starved, too.”
“I should’ve grabbed something on the way here.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I wasn’t thinking.”
“This’ll work.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and motioned toward the food. “Is there anything else you want?”
He shook his head. “This is great.”
More than, actually. But he couldn’t say that. Just her being there was good when it shouldn’t be. Having a female in the house after four years of living alone should’ve left him unsettled. At the very least, it shouldn’t be so comfortable.
But everything with Liv was that way. She had a way of putting people at ease. The overhead lights were bright, the room sparse with its cold marble counters and dark wood cabinets. Yet with night closing them in, it was somehow cozy with her here.
She set a plate on the bar and waved him to a stool. “Do you want a glass of water, too?” She was already grabbing a glass from the cupboard, completely at home in his kitchen. Like she belonged there. She glanced over her shoulder, brow raised, hand poised on a second glass. “Noah?”
“Sorry.” He pushed the wayward thoughts from his mind. “Sure. Thanks.” What in the hell was he thinking? It had to be the fatigue. That excuse had worked all day, so he might as well stick with it.
She sat down beside him, the stool creaking as she swung her legs under the counter. They filled their plates, her with an array of crackers, meats and cheese while he built a sandwich. Lunch had been hours ago, and his stomach reminded him of that when the heavy scents of the meats reached his nose.
“Is it really going to be okay to close The Den for the rest of the week?”
Her question brought the weight of the day back on his shoulders. He set his sandwich down and rubbed his brow. “It should be fine.”
Should be. They’d debated that topic for over an hour before agreeing to close the doors through the weekend. Cancelling the Halloween party on Saturday would be a financial hit, but the club should be fine if they reopened next week. That was hoping they could open again at all, depending on how persistent the media became.
“Darn it. I’m sorry, Noah.” She rubbed his arm, the connection soothing beyond the touch. The warmth and awareness shot from his arm, through his chest and right to his groin. “I shouldn’t have brought that up.”
He focused on his sandwich, no longer interested in what he was eating but desperate not to think about her. Liv. Somehow, she’d managed to awaken desires he’d long thought dead. Fatigue. That was all it was.
“It’s fine,” he said before taking a bite of the sandwich, the food tasteless in his mouth. He washed it down with the last of his beer and resisted the urge to grab another. Getting drunk wouldn’t help anything.
“It’s not, but I’ll let it go.” She stacked a piece of meat and cheese on a cracker but stared at it instead of eating it. “Thank you for letting me stay here tonight.” The sincerity in her voice was underscored by a hint of wariness. “I don’t want to impose.”
“You’re not.” He wiped his mouth and hands on his napkin, not hiding but stalling. He spoke the truth though, even if it did shock him. “You’re doing me a favor. I don’t know if I had the energy to drive across town to your place.”
After finalizing the immediate details with the club, he and Liv had headed back to the hospital. Rock and Carter had agreed to stay and meet the employees and members who’d missed the temporary closure notices and showed up to the club. V went to Holden’s game, and Marcus had gone home after they’d finally convinced him it was best for his family.
“I could’ve taken the bus.” The belligerence in her tone had him smiling.
“Right.” He didn’t bother to reinforce that he wouldn’t have allowed it.
“What?” Her spine straightened, the fight turning her dark eyes bright. “I ride the bus every day. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.”
Damn, she was fierce when fueled by conviction. He’d seen its force levied on others, but today he’d experienced it numerous times and each instance only upped his respect.
“Of course not.” He somehow managed to keep the smirk from his face. She wouldn’t take it right. “But there was no need.” Not when he was there to take care of her.
She eyed him before her shoulders sagged, the fight fleeing with a slow head shake. “Does the world always conform to your wishes?”
“No more than yours.” She might wield her power in a subtler and more persuasive way than he did his, but her approach was just as effective. Maybe more.
“Well…” She popped the cracker into her mouth and chewed, the timed pause was noted with his begrudging approval. She had a flair that pulled people in. Only she didn’t cut them once they were close, unlike his legal counterparts.
He rested his chin on his fist and prompted, “Well?”
She prolonged the moment by taking a drink of water, mischief erasing the tiredness that had been on her face. “I am a bit more charming than you.”
The wiggling eyebrows yanked a burst of laughter from his chest. He couldn’t counter that. His grin was still in place when he reached out to tuck that stray piece of hair behind her ear. Her breath caught as he trailed his fingers down her jaw to cup her chin. “You are,” he found himself admitting. Her openness was so appealing. It was something he’d never been.
Didn’t know how to be.
Her lips parted with the slow caress of his thumb over the silky smoothness of her cheek. The urge to kiss her had him leaning in before he realized what he was doing. Sanity broke in when the heat of her breath gusted over his mouth. He switched directions to land a chaste kiss of comfort on her temple instead.
His pulse hammered in his ears at his almost-error. She didn’t need his attentions when he had nothing to give her. Not after Beth. The bitter taste of failure sat like ash on his tongue.
He let Liv go and started to clear away their dinner. He purposely avoided her gaze—another thing he rarely did—yet he was running on reserves and had little to spare for defense. The day had left him raw, broken in more ways than he could reassemble in his current state.
Together, they put away the food and dishes, the silence broken by the clink of plates and the rush of water from the sink. He ignored the pulse of awareness that inflamed him whenever she brushed past, arm grazing or fingers touching. It burned hotter than before, despite his refusal to acknowledge it.
Task completed, he flicked off the lights, checked the doors and led the way upstairs. He grabbed the bags. The hallway light seemed harsh when he flicked it on, and he resisted the urge to pause and straighten a bowl on the table.
“Here,” he said, turning into the guest bedroom. The mission-style furniture filled the smaller room with its simple grace. He set her bag on the burgundy comforter and turned to see her studying him from the doorway. Her arms were crossed over her chest in an action that was more protective than defensive. Damn, he’d hurt her somehow. Or maybe she was just tired and hurting from the day itself. “The bathroom is down the hall, towels in the cupboard next to it if you want a shower.” He motioned in the direction they’d just come but didn’t move to leave. That would take him past her, and somehow that felt like a confrontation.
She turned around without a word and disappeared down
the hall. He’d selected the room farthest from his for a reason. Now he stepped into the hall to see her entering his. What was she doing?
The spark of annoyance that should’ve been there at the invasion of his privacy wasn’t, though. Visions of her naked in his bed replaced any misspent anger. His dick responded, filling to half mast before he doused the image and followed her to his room.
“What are you doing?” he barked, his personal irritation coming out at her.
She turned from her study of the built-in cupboards and drawers that lined the wall next to the door. Her expression was flat, an oddity with her that added another notch to his self-loathing for putting it there.
He rubbed at the pain in his neck, his focus shifting to the geometric pattern of the area rug. He should’ve taken her home. Should’ve dropped her off and left her alone to sort through her sorrow. Or to Vanessa’s. Her sister would’ve taken care of her.
But V was at the hockey game, and his conscience wouldn’t let him just leave Liv—not that he wanted anyone else to care for her either.
“Do you hurt, Noah?”
He whipped his head up, hand dropping to his side when he realized what he’d been doing. “I’m fine,” he deflected. “Did you want something?” He waved at the built-ins. “A shirt to sleep in?”
“I mean inside,” she said, stepping closer to lay a hand over his heart where it beat too fast. The touch seared his skin through his sweater. “Here. Do you hurt here?” Her gaze drilled into his to dig at old wounds and soothe recent ones.
He choked back the immediate rush of emotions that constricted his throat. Of course he hurt, damn it. They all did. Was he that much of an ass that she had to ask him? He stepped around her, his anger clutched tightly. Anything he said would come out wrong.
“Noah?” She grabbed his arm, her grip tightening when he glared at her. “It’s okay to admit it.”
“What?” He yanked his arm free. “You think I need your approval to feel pain? To know what sorrow is? Trust me. I don’t. I know exactly what it feels like to lose someone you love. I know how it rips your heart out and leaves you empty.” He fisted the material covering his heart. “I know all of this, so you don’t have to tell me it’s okay to hurt.”
