Another Generation

by Roberta Kagan

  “You came?” she said, incredulously. “You’re here?”

  “Of course I’m here. I told you I would come.”

  “What is it?” Eidel said.

  “It’s okay. It’s not about Haley, Mom. It’s my friend.”

  Eidel cocked her head.

  “He’s here in Chicago. He came because he wanted to be with me through all of this. He’s at O’Hare.”

  “Abby, I’m standing outside. It’s freezing. Do you want me to take a taxi to your house?”

  “I’ll pick you up,” she said. “Can you wait inside?”

  “Yes, I’ll be at baggage claim. How will I know you? What color car do you have?”

  “A red Honda,” Abby said.

  CHAPTER SIXTY FOUR

  Abby knew it was Rashad the instant she saw him. He looked exactly like his picture. She pulled over to the curb and opened the trunk. He placed his small suitcase inside.

  “Hi,” she said.

  “Hi.”

  “This is awkward.” She giggled more out of nervousness than anything else.

  “It is . . . a little. But I am glad to be here with you. How is your sister?”

  “She’s okay. She’s very sad, but physically, she’s okay. I was worried when she was in surgery. I was afraid something would happen and she would be gone from my life forever.”

  “I understand. If it were my sister I would feel the same way. And as for her being sad . . . my mother always told my sister and me how hard it was when she had a miscarriage.”

  “Your mother had one?”

  “Yes, when she was young. Before I was born.”

  “You’re older than your sister, right?”

  “By two years, yes.”

  Abby nodded. They drove in silence for several minutes.

  “Is there a hotel where I can stay that is close to your home?” Rashad asked.

  “Yes.” Abby realized they hadn’t discussed where he was going to stay. She hadn’t asked her mother if it was all right if he stayed at the house. There was, after all, an extra room. “But I am wondering if it would be all right with my mom if you stayed with us. I haven’t asked her though. I probably should have. It’s just with everything that has been going on today, it slipped my mind.”

  “Please, don’t worry. I wouldn’t impose. That would be very disrespectful, and I wouldn’t want your mother to think of me as that kind of person. After all, this is the first time we’ve ever met. Where is the closest hotel?”

  “There’s a nice one right across from the hospital.”

  “Take me there, please?”

  “Of course,” Abby said.

  They drove up to the front of the hotel. Rashad turned to Abby. “Are you tired? Do you want to go home and rest?”

  “I can’t sleep,” she said. “I lay down earlier, but I wasn’t able to sleep.”

  “Would you like to come in and have a sandwich or a cup of tea? I hope the restaurant is still open,” he asked. “I am sorry, I can’t have a glass of wine with you. I don’t know if we ever talked about this, but Muslims don’t drink alcohol. We don’t even handle it. It’s against our religion.”

  “I don’t drink either,” Abby said. “Not because of religious reasons. Just because.”

  He smiled at her.

  “Why don’t you go and get checked-in. I’ll park then I’ll meet you in the restaurant for some tea.”

  “From what I can see, it looks like they’re still open,” Rashad said, glancing into the window of the hotel restaurant. “Sounds good. I’ll go and check-in. See you in a few minutes.”

  Abby was sitting at a booth in the corner, waiting. She wondered what he thought of her. When she imagined meeting him, she’d always contemplated what she would wear and how she would style her hair. She wondered where they would go. She always envisioned a candlelit dinner, or dinner at an outdoor café under the stars. Well, it sure didn’t work out to be a romantic first date because here I am with my hair in a ponytail, no makeup, in sweatpants and a sweatshirt and a heavy coat. We’re eating at a hotel coffee shop in the middle of the night. Not exactly the way I pictured our first meeting. I wonder if he thinks I’m ugly. I don’t look very good at all. He, on the other hand, looks just like his picture. I often wondered if he would be as handsome as he was in his photo. But there is something even more attractive about him. Maybe it’s the way he is so serene and seems so calm inside.

  Rashad entered the restaurant and smiled brightly when he saw Abby. He walked to the table and sat beside her.

  “Sorry it took me so long. I went upstairs and put my suitcase in the room before I came.”

  “You weren’t long.” She smiled. “I can’t thank you enough for coming to Chicago in the dead of winter just to see me.”

  “It was worth it.”

  “Oh Rashad, you don’t have to flatter me. I know I look awful. I wish I had some makeup on. I just ran out of the house . . . ”

  Outside the window, snow began to fall.

  “I’m not looking at you for makeup or outward things. I am looking at your soul and your soul is beautiful,” Rashad said.

  “What can I get for you two tonight?” an older waitress said.

  “I’d like a cheese sandwich and a cup of tea,” Rashad said.

  “Just a cup of tea.”

  “Are you sure you’re not hungry?”

  “I’m sure.” She hesitated then added, “That was a nice thing you said. I know that outward appearances aren’t supposed to mean anything . . . but tell me the truth. Are you just a little disappointed? About the way I look, I mean?”

  “You’re more lovely than I could have ever hoped for both on the inside and out.”

  They talked for two hours and then the restaurant was closing. Abby would have gone to his room had he asked. But he didn’t. Instead, he turned to her and said, “Please be careful driving. Call me as soon as you get home so I know you’re safe. I’m in room 425. I’ll be waiting to hear from you.”

  “I don’t live very far. I’ll call in about twenty minutes.”

  When Abby got home she called the hotel and had the operator ring Rashad’s room. He answered on the first ring. “Abby?”

  “Yes, it’s me. I’m home.”

  “Good. Sleep well. Call me when you get up in the morning.”

  “I will. Goodnight, Rashad.”

  CHAPTER SIXTY FIVE

  The following morning, Abby took ten minutes to put on light makeup then she and Eidel picked up Rashad at the hotel. After that, they met Warren at the hospital. By the time they arrived, the doctor was already in the process of having the papers drawn up to release Haley.

  Rashad didn’t speak much to anyone but Abby at first. However, he very respectful of the entire family, and he showed special treatment to Eidel. Abby knew it was not because he was trying to butter-up her mother. He’d told her during one of their phone conversations that in his culture young people respected the elderly. He opened doors for Eidel and gave her the open seat while he stood in the corner. When she said she wished she had a cup of coffee, he asked her how she took it then went down to the vending machine and got it for her without another word.

  When Rashad left the room to go and get Eidel the coffee, Eidel turned to Abby and said, “He looks like the men I met in Israel when your father and I lived there.”

  “Do you like him, Mom?”

  “Yes, I do. He seems to be a very nice fellow.”

  “He is.”

  “Warren insisted that we all come back to his house for lunch. He is worried about Haley. He said he thinks that having us there will be good for her. You don’t mind going, do you? I am sure you want to spend some time alone with Rashad.”

  “Of course I don’t mind going, Mom. And I know Rashad would feel the same way.”

  “Besides that, Ida and Sam are already at Haley’s house watching Julie. Ask Ida what she thinks of Rashad. She is a wise woman, that Ida, and a good judge of character. I think she’ll like
him.”

  “I’d love to hear what Ida has to say. She is always honest.”

  “That she is.”

  “You know, I didn’t want him to meet the family this way. I thought he and I would meet first then he would come back to Chicago to meet all of you. But this is the way it was supposed to happen, I guess, and at least he will meet everyone.”

  After Haley was discharged, they all went to the house where she lived with Warren. He took care of ordering food from a nearby deli that served Haley’s favorite matzo ball soup but she didn’t have much of an appetite. It was easy to see by her face that Haley was hurting inside. Warren assured her several times that they would try again and that the next time everything would be fine. He sat with his arm around her. Abby noticed that Julie laid her head on Warren. He must be a good father to Julie. It’s easy to see that she really likes him. I’m so glad, Abby thought.

  Ida was helping in the kitchen. She had put on a pot of coffee and taken out plates and silverware. But after the food was served, she turned to Haley and said, “If you hold on to this pain you are feeling, I can promise that it will eat you alive. When something bad happens, the best thing to do is let it go and thank God for all the blessings that you have. Look around this table, Haley. You have a wonderful daughter. A loving husband. A devoted mother and a sister who is your best friend. I am not telling you to forget about the baby. I understand that you are feeling a great loss. But don’t let that loss overshadow all the good things in your life. Do you understand me?”

  “Yes,” Haley said. After that she seemed to be feeling a little bit better.

  Early that evening, Eidel, Abby, and Rashad left to go back to the Levi home. The snow that fell the night before had frozen into ice. Warren was too busy with Haley in the hospital to shovel the walk. Without being asked, Rashad offered Eidel and Abby his arms. “Let me help you, so you don’t slip on the ice,” he said.

  Eidel took his arm. Rashad helped Eidel into the car then he got in.

  They dropped Eidel off at the house and then Abby and Rashad went out for a light dinner.

  “I hope your mother likes me,” he said.

  “I know she does. What did you think of Ida?”

  “The older lady with the white hair, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “I like her. She’s outspoken, very wise, and incredibly strong.”

  “Ida is amazing. She survived a concentration camp when she was young. That’s why she’s so strong.”

  “I was impressed with what she said to Haley about letting go of the bad things and being grateful for the good in one’s life.”

  “She has always been my mother’s rock. I like her a lot. By the way, she likes you.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I asked her,” Haley said.

  CHAPTER SIXTY SIX

  Rashad stayed a week. He helped out in the muffin shop during the day and at night he and Haley went out for quiet dinners. It wasn’t the fancy romantic meeting she fantasized it would be. Instead, it was real; it was wholesome, warm, and tender. She couldn’t believe how much she enjoyed his visit. The night before he was to fly back to New York, Rashad wanted to take her somewhere special. Abby suggested a fondue restaurant and Rashad agreed. Now they were sitting at a candlelit table. This was the romantic evening Abby had imagined, but because of all that came before, it was even more meaningful. Rashad reached for Abby’s hand. Until now, he hadn’t touched her.

  “I don’t know how this all happened so quickly between us,” Rashad said. “But I knew you were going to be someone special in my life from the first time we talked on the phone.”

  “Most people would say that was strange,” Abby said.

  “Do you think it’s strange?”

  “I don’t. I don’t because I feel it too, Rashad. There is a Yiddish word that comes to mind right now. The word is bershart; it means my destiny, my special someone. I am feeling that you just might be my bershart,” she said.

  “I think I am in love with you, Abby.”

  “I feel the same way about you.”

  “Come to New York and see me next month? I’ll pay your plane fare. Let’s spend some more time together. I don’t want to say goodbye, but I have to go back to work.”

  “I know.”

  “Will you come?”

  “I will try. It might be longer than a month before I can leave the business. I have to wait and see how Haley is doing. But I will come as soon as I can.”

  When they walked back to the car after dinner, Rashad stopped. He turned Abby towards him and kissed her for the first time. She was trembling. Never had a kiss been so meaningful. But she also had to admit that she’d never waited as long for a man to kiss her.

  It was bitter cold outside, but she didn’t feel it. She was warm in his arms and could have stayed in his embrace forever. He seemed to feel the same because he wasn’t letting go. Several sweet moments passed. Then he whispered in her ear, “My bershart.”

  CHAPTER SIXTY SEVEN

  Now that they’d met it was very difficult for Abby to be apart from Rashad. They left emails for each other each morning. Abby would find a sweet note in her inbox every day when she got to work. At night, they talked on the phone for hours. On many days, Rashad would call her when she was working at the shop just to say, “I love you.”

  There was too much going on for Abby to get away in a month so they made plans for Abby to go to New York in July. Abby was worried about leaving Haley, but summer was a slow time of year at the shop and, besides, Rhonda said she didn’t mind working extra hours.

  Abby had already told Mark and John about Rashad but she called them both to tell them that she was coming to New York and she wanted them to meet her boyfriend.

  “You’ll bring him to our house for dinner of course,” John said.

  “Of course,” Abby said.

  The days seemed to pass so slowly until July finally arrived. The day that Abby was to fly out had to be the hottest day of the year. Sweat pooled in her armpits and on her forehead but there was nothing that could dampen Abby’s spirits. She was going to New York to see Rashad. They would have a blissful week together and that was all that mattered to her. She had already decided that if he asked, she would sleep with him.

  When Abby saw Rashad at the baggage claim she ran to him and jumped into his arms and kissed him fully on the lips. He laughed aloud. “I am not used to such open, public displays of affection,” he said.

  “Oh. Did I embarrass you?”

  “At first, maybe.” Then he smiled. “My culture is very reserved. But you know what, I have to admit, I liked it.”

  “You did, huh?” She smiled.

  “Yes. You surprise me all the time, Abby Levi. You’re exciting and spontaneous . . . and . . . wonderful!”

  He flagged a taxi that took them to his apartment in the East Village where he had set up his second bedroom as a room for her.

  “This room is my home office. Quite often I can’t finish everything I have to do on a particular day so I bring work home with me at night. My job can be very taxing but I hope that the desk and computer don’t get in your way. I bought a bed for you last week. I tried to get one you would like, I hope it’s comfortable.”

  “I’m sure I’ll be very comfortable,” she said. But she thought The way I feel about you, I would sleep in your bed, if you asked.

  They dropped Abby’s bag off and then went downstairs and walked to a pizza parlor a block away. They ordered slices that they took outside to an umbrella table.

  “What would you like to do while you’re here in New York City?” Rashad asked.

  “Well, I was hoping that we could have dinner with my brother Mark and his partner, John. They live near Central Park.”

  “That would be great with me. I’d love to meet your brother.”

  “Yes, he is a really good guy. And so is John. But I want to let you know before you meet them so you aren’t shocked when we get there. Mark a
nd John are gay. They’ve been together for years. They’re like an old married couple.”

  “You mean they’re homosexuals?” He looked at her, unable to hide the shock on his face.

  “Yes, they are.”

  “Oh.” Rashad was silent for a moment. “You do realize that homosexuality is not natural. It’s against God’s plan.”

  “Rashad . . . don’t do this. I would never have expected you to be small-minded. He is my brother. I accept him the way he is. I would hope you could do the same.”

  Rashad stared down at the slice of pizza that was oozing olive oil onto the paper plate. For a few moments he was silent, as if thinking. “Well,” he said, hesitating and taking a deep breath. “I am learning and growing every day. It’s not always easy to accept ideas that don’t coincide with the ideas one was brought up to believe.” Then Rashad looked into Abby’s eyes. “He’s your brother and you are very important to me, so I will learn to understand him and his way of life.”

  “It amazes me sometimes that you really do care about me,” Abby said. “In my whole life, no man has ever really cared about me.”

  “Yes, Abby, I do. When I tell you that I love you, I mean it. These are not just words that I say lightly. I have never said them to anyone before. I don’t mean that I love you for the moment or for a passionate night we might share. When I use the word love this is what it means to me . . . come what may, health or sickness, poverty or wealth, good or bad, I will be at your side whenever you need me. If you are sick, I will nurse and care for you. If we are poor I’ll work three jobs if necessary to provide for your needs. My culture might seem a bit strange to you. But, in my culture, we don’t take love lightly the way many Americans do. Since I’ve been here in the United States, I’ve met male friends at work. They tell me that they have intimate relationships with women who they have no intention of ever marrying. This is not something I could or would ever consider doing. Love is a very serious thing for me. And so, if your brother is a homosexual, then I will learn to accept him as he is and love him as if he were my own brother.”