He took Amory’s hand, hoping to reassure him. “It is, and what’s more, I want you sitting here with me. All right?”
Some of Amory’s tension eased. “All right.”
“Good.” He gave Amory’s hand one last squeeze before letting go and settled back on his throne. He gave the signal that they should begin.
The new ambassador strode into the room as soon as the doors were opened. He made his bows to Philip, presented his credentials, gave a flowery speech that included the greetings and well wishes of the King and Queen of Kavalas, and also bestowed gifts from them on Philip. Philip then introduced his own advisors and his Minister of Foreign Affairs to the new ambassador. Through the pomp and protocol of the ceremony, Philip kept a watch on Amory. Amory wasn’t used to functions of this kind, let alone being on display during them.
Amory sat in the chair next to Philip’s throne, his expression one of interest. His posture was tense, but Amory managed to mostly hide whatever nerves he felt. Amory’s interest in the proceedings probably helped. While Philip had grown up participating in ceremonies like this, Amory had never attended one. Whatever Amory said about not caring for his university classes, Philip could see already that Amory enjoyed new experiences and the learning that went along with them. He would be interested to hear Amory’s impressions later.
A short reception was held afterward. Philip kept Amory at his side, hoping to ease him into court social situations, but Amory did well, leaving Philip flushed with pride. Amory was polite and gracious to everyone he was introduced to, even when it was blatantly obvious they were fishing for information about the prince’s lover. He should have warned Amory about those types of people. His life was filled with gawkers and hangers-on, but Amory’s hadn’t been. He would have to talk with Amory about people trying to get close to Amory to curry favor with Philip.
However, there wasn’t any time to talk about it after the reception. He and Amory hurried to change into less formal clothing and then strode out toward the gardens where the tino court was located.
“Should you be hurrying? You’re the prince. Don’t they have to wait for you?” Amory teased.
“Ha.” True. But it didn’t mean he liked keeping people waiting for no good reason.
More people milled around the small court in the far corner of the garden than he expected. The game was only a friendly match with Cathal, something they did often, sometimes with one or two of the other cousins. The matches attracted more attention than they deserved, mostly from tittering young ladies and politicking courtiers. It exhausted him beyond belief. Philip should have realized there might be more people that day. Amory was big news.
The usual group of ladies was there, but some were pouting a bit. They clustered around Elodie and Lilliale in a tight group on one side of the grass court. Other courtiers mingled at the edges. Philip led Amory through the crowd to where Cathal and two of his brothers stood.
Philip had several cousins, but he was the closest to Cathal, Vrai, and Etan, and he hoped they would accept Amory. He didn’t think Vrai and Etan would be a problem. A couple of his other cousins, maybe, but not those two.
Both men greeted Amory warmly and waved away any attempt to call them anything but their names. Etan was perhaps too warm and looked at Amory for a little too long in a way that made Philip bristle. He put a hand to Amory’s waist without thinking, needing, for some reason, to show his claim on Amory. He hadn’t realized Etan was interested in men that way. He would have to think about it when he wasn’t so annoyed.
Annoyed with him looking at Amory. Obviously, he was going crazy if he was upset at Etan for looking at Amory.
Amory turned to look at him, surprise flooding his dark eyes. There was pleasure there too, and Amory leaned into him a little before turning back to Vrai and Etan.
“Do you play, Amory?” Etan asked.
“No, but Philip said he would teach me.”
“We’ll have to play once you’ve learned,” Vrai said.
“I’d like that.”
“But perhaps in a setting a little less public,” Philip said. He brushed his fingers over Amory’s, a light, fleeting touch, before turning back to his cousins. “Time to play.”
He accepted the small wood-framed racquet from one of the servants and joined Cathal out on the court, which was put in when Philip was a child and the game came into fashion. He used to watch his father and his friends hit the small, leather ball back and forth across the net when he was young and wanted so much to play too. When no one was around, he and his cousins used to go out on the court and wildly whack the ball back and forth, until Uncle Umber told them if they were going to play, they should learn to play properly. Lessons soon followed.
That day, he and Cathal played as they always did, throwing themselves into the game and the competition, friendly though it was. Philip had to admit he played a little harder than he usually did, and he was embarrassed to realize he was trying to impress Amory.
Embarrassment didn’t stop him from doing it.
And Cathal, that bastard, knew it. He smirked through the whole match and played his absolute hardest. He wasn’t going to make it the slightest bit easier for Philip to win. Usually they didn’t care much who won. It was only a game, despite their competitiveness, but he needed to win the first time Amory watched. He cursed himself for it. As if Amory would be impressed.
Philip did eventually win, but Cathal made him work for it. Both he and Cathal were dripping sweat by the end, but that didn’t stop Elodie, Lilliale, Celeste, and several other young ladies from waylaying them before they were off the court. Servants insinuated themselves deftly around the ladies in their pretty spring gowns to hand him and Cathal towels.
He blotted his face with the soft towel while listening to the ladies chatter about the match, gushing over his and Cathal’s playing. Mostly his. Lady Celeste positioned herself closest to Cathal, but the others vied for Philip’s attention. No matter what Uncle Umber thought, Philip was a prime catch, even with a male lover. Well, not a lover yet, but no one else knew that. He half listened to the ladies while peering over their heads to search through the encroaching crowd for Amory.
Amory still stood with Vrai and Etan where they had been since the beginning of the match, but each of them had refreshments in hand. Vrai and Etan were carrying on an animated conversation, but Amory looked toward Philip and the women surrounding him. Philip frowned, concerned by his pensive expression, but Amory snapped free of whatever he was thinking and smiled over at Philip. He managed a discreet eye roll so Amory would know what he thought of the crowd, and was rewarded with Amory stifling a laugh before Vrai and Etan drew him back into conversation. Philip focused again on his sister and the other ladies, suddenly much lighter.
He and Amory ate dinner alone again that night. It wouldn’t happen every night—he had obligations that often meant dining with nobles, ambassadors, and other dignitaries, and sometimes he liked to eat with Elodie or his cousins and friends. But he enjoyed having the time alone with Amory while he could.
Conversation was easy and enjoyable again, despite the knowledge that soon he would have to tell Amory about Vasco. Easy to put it off for a little while longer, to let the conversation stay light, to talk about the match earlier and explain the rules of the game, clarifying what his cousins told Amory.
After dinner, they drifted into the sitting room as they had the night before. He liked the idea that it might turn into something they did many nights, a habit for them. Dinner and relaxing, perhaps curling up together and reading or talking before going to bed, again together. It sounded nice, better than nice. Surprising how much he wanted it, not just for that night but for the rest of his life, and how he hoped Amory would be the one he did all of those things with.
They settled again on the couch. He considered putting some distance between them while he told Amory about his former lover, but Amory seemed to be getting bolder. He twined his fingers through Philip’s, keeping
him close by Amory’s side. Philip gave in without even a token protest. He wanted to be close to Amory.
They sipped the slightly spicy, deep-red wine in silence. He wondered if he was making too much of it, but he had never spoken of his affair with Vasco with anyone. He’d never imagined doing so, let alone with someone who was going to be his lover. He wasn’t sure how he was going to feel telling the story.
“Do you want to tell me?” Amory finally asked. His gaze was soft, understanding. “You don’t have to. I understand how it could be difficult.”
“Yes, but not the way you think. I do want to tell you.” He brushed Amory’s curls off his forehead and smiled when they fell right back. “I told you our families, mine and Vasco’s, were very close. That’s why Elodie and Lilliale are so close. Lilliale has brothers, both older and younger. She’s the only girl.”
“She must be doted upon.”
“Oh, yes. I was friends with her older brothers growing up. Vasco is the oldest, older than me by five years, and I found him very attractive as I grew up. It took me a while to figure out he found me attractive too. We were friends, and we kind of fell into an affair.
“We kept it a secret—no one knew. I didn’t want the rumors, the talk, and neither did he. Which was one of the reasons I hadn’t done anything like it before. That, and I guess I didn’t want a series of meaningless tumbles.” He shrugged, more self-conscious than he imagined he would be.
“I understand that.” Amory tentatively stroked a hand over Philip’s hair. Philip leaned into the caress, nearly purring at the pleasure of it. He wanted to close his eyes and revel in the gentle petting, but he needed to finish his story.
He sighed. “It really isn’t much of a story after that. We slept together whenever we could for about a year. Then he ended it. His father was ill, and he wanted Vasco to marry. Vasco didn’t seem all that upset about his father’s wishes. I don’t know. However he felt, our affair was over, and he married six months later. His father passed away not long after.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I wasn’t in love with him.” It seemed important for Amory to know that. “He was my friend, and we had plenty of lust between us, but that was it. The worst of it is that after he ended our affair, he ended our friendship too.” Vasco had disappeared from Philip’s life. Some of his absence was caused by his marriage and his increased responsibilities, but not all of it. “I miss his friendship sometimes.”
“I’m sorry for that, then.” Amory’s hand was still in his hair, and Philip didn’t want him to remove it. It felt so good there. His whole body was starting to hum from that one contact, despite the awkward subject of their discussion. “I may have lost my closest friend, so I understand.”
“How? Will you tell me?” A fierce need to make everything better for Amory washed through him. He had no idea where it came from.
“Sort of like you and Vasco, Tristan and I have known each other our whole lives. We played as children, went to school together, and then… well, we started kissing.” Amory shifted in his seat, his expression screaming that he wished he’d never brought it up. “He’s the only person I’d ever kissed, before you.”
“What happened?”
“We got careless and my brother saw us. I knew my father wouldn’t be pleased. Tristan was terrified of what his father would do if Alban or my father told him. I don’t blame him, but I don’t want to lose my friend.”
“Of course you don’t.”
“Maybe when he calms down, everything will be all right.” Amory gave a small shrug.
“I hope so.” Then Amory’s words struck him. “When did this happen?”
“The day before I met you.”
Philip drew back, away from Amory. “You were kissing someone else the day before you met me and I asked you to stay here?”
Amory’s brow furrowed and his hand, the one that had been stroking through Philip’s hair, fell to the back of the couch. “Yes.”
“And you agreed to stay here with me? To become my lover when you had someone already?” Shock and betrayal coursed through him, leaving him nearly shaking. Had he misjudged Amory? Was it all part of Arnau’s plan?
“What?” Wide-eyed bewilderment gave way to comprehension and almost panic on Amory’s expressive face. “No. It’s not like that. It’s not like that at all.”
“Then what is it? You were kissing someone else two days ago. Maybe more than kissing for all I know.” Amory’s swiftly indrawn breath came like a slap to Philip. “There was something more.”
Amory was shaking his head before Philip finished speaking. “Not really, not much. It was just the last time, and we only touched each other. It wasn’t… I didn’t….”
Anger made his stomach roil when he thought of someone else touching Amory, of Amory touching someone else. He wanted to hunt down this Tristan and tear him apart. But Amory’s dismay pulled at him too. “You didn’t what?”
Amory took a breath. “We’d only kissed until then, but Tristan wanted to do more. I wasn’t sure, but before I could decide, his hand was in my breeches, and it felt good, so why not? We touched each other, that’s all. Then it was over, and then my brother was there.”
Philip wasn’t sure what to say. He hated the thought of Amory with anyone else, especially mere days ago, with a fury that shocked him. He had known he wasn’t the first man Amory kissed, but he never imagined the other man had been a few days ago. He couldn’t help the suspicion and the… was it jealousy?
Amory spoke again when he remained silent. “I didn’t even know what to feel about it afterward. I enjoyed it, but I think I didn’t want to do anything more than kiss Tristan because I wanted anything else to mean something more. And Tristan and I… we’re friends, nothing more than that. Never anything more than that for me.”
Amory reached forward and took Philip’s hand, holding it when he would have pulled away. “It’s over now, and that’s fine with me. The kissing was nice, but the time had come for it to end. I don’t want Tristan as a lover. I only want him to be my friend.”
Philip looked at him for a long moment. He wanted to believe Amory, wanted to believe everything he thought about Amory and what they might be able to have was real and not wishful thinking. But so many people would take advantage to try to get close to him—Amory’s father was only one.
But Amory wasn’t his father. Philip knew that already. His instincts had told him to trust Amory from the first moment. “I believe you.”
Amory let out a long breath, his whole body sagging into the cushions. “Thank you.”
“I… the way it sounded. For a moment, I wondered why you were here.” He squeezed Amory’s hand, almost embarrassed for his reaction. “If this was a lie.”
“If I was a part of some plot of my father’s.” Amory nodded, despite the hurt in his eyes. “I understand, but I’m not. I haven’t lied. I want to be here with you.”
“Me too.”
Amory smiled that sweet smile of his, and then spoke, his voice hesitant, halting. “I already believe… whatever we do together, it would mean something more.”
He wasn’t wrong about Amory. “I think so too.”
They looked at each other, and then Amory leaned forward, capturing his lips in a gentle kiss. When Amory pulled back, Philip followed, chasing another kiss and pressing Amory back into the soft cushions while he took it deeper. Amory pulled him closer, wrapping surprisingly strong arms around Philip’s back and holding their bodies together. He already loved the feel of Amory’s body against his, even through the layers of their clothes. He wanted to feel it with nothing between them.
But not yet, not that night. As much as the thought of waiting pained him, they needed time to get to know each other, to trust, before they fell into bed.
But he wasn’t going to be able to keep from kissing Amory. Amory moaned into the kiss and swept his hands up to thread his fingers into Philip’s hair. He didn’t think Amory would let him stop if he tried. Philip pus
hed closer. No, they would definitely keep kissing.
AMORY’S FIRST few weeks at the palace were a period of anxiety and adjustment, but he never once regretted his decision to stay with Philip. As impulsive as the choice was, it never seemed less than right, and it felt more and more like the only choice he could have made the better he got to know Philip. Despite the struggle of figuring out how he fit into palace life.
“What do you mean?” Adeline asked when he mentioned it to her. They’d managed to meet in the large city park near the palace almost a week after Amory’s move.
He took a moment to think about how to phrase his answer as they strolled arm in arm along a shady path. The path was deserted except for them and the royal guardsman who followed at a discreet distance. “I don’t really know how I should spend my days there. I can’t do nothing—well, I suppose I could, but I would go crazy.”
“Yes, I can see that. What have you been doing with your days so far?”
“Settling in, learning the palace. I’ve mostly been spending time with Pip when I can.”
Adeline grinned. “Only you would call the prince of Tournai Pip.”
And he shouldn’t have done so in front of his sister, but he trusted Adeline and it slipped out. “I suppose it is a bit incongruous.”
“Just a bit.”
“But it fits him somehow, at least to me.”
Her expression softened. “I’m sure it does. So what do you two do when you spend time together? But don’t tell me any of the bedchamber things!”
He laughed at the horror on his sister’s pretty face at the thought of hearing anything so personal in connection with her brother. “I wouldn’t. We talk a lot. We’ve gone riding, and he’s teaching me how to play tino. Also archery, and I’m brushing up on my fencing. Philip and his cousins practice together most days.
“I’ve also been going to all the court ceremonies and events with him, and his social obligations as well.” And the social events were a whole other issue he would have to deal with. “I’ve been spending a lot of time in his office with him while he’s working. Obviously, there are some things I can’t be privy to, but otherwise he doesn’t mind. He’s very patient when I ask questions. I want to know what he does, Adeline.”
The Prince's Consort (Chronicles of Tournai Book 1) Page 8
