by L. B. Dunbar
While the child’s identity was protected at the time of Lotte’s heroic act, the mystery mother has been discovered as none other than Lila Lovelourne, daughter of the rowdy, bodyguard to rock stars, Vance Lovelourne, who sadly died in a horrible auto accident with his oldest daughter, Sara Lovelourne. Sara was the estranged girlfriend of Josh Tucker, drummer for the Dark Agents.
This writer questions the family images, also seen below, with Lansing Lotte, Guinevere DeGrance, fiancé to the mysteriously disappeared, Arturo King, and the aforementioned child. Which family image suits Lansing Lotte best? We say Lovelourne as DeGrance is spoken for.
I stared at the phone in my hand, disbelief clearly on my face. How did they get those pictures? I wasn’t typically the one in the gossip columns. Tristan Lyons for his sexual history of women. Arturo King for his numerous girlfriends and highly publicized family matters. But it was never Perkins Vale or myself that captured the attention of the media. I continued in anger as I reread the news brief to discover truth about Lila that she had only hinted at, but not shared, with me.
“So much for your happy family theory,” I snapped. “I didn’t know these things about Lila.”
“It’s probably not true,” Galehaut replied.
“It’s on the Internet, so it must be true,” I said bitterly.
“Well, I hope not, because this means you had a girlfriend, which you didn’t, and you sound heartless about her death, which you aren’t. It also implies that you’re with Lila, which you claim you don’t want to be. And it implies that you could make a family with Guinevere, which might be true, but highly unlikely. Not to mention the real family you’ve created is with an entirely different woman, not even mentioned in this report.”
I didn’t respond and I sensed that Galehaut had more to add.
“Any way you look at it, you’re distracted from what you need to be doing, instead of all this gallivanting around.”
“And what do I need to be doing?” I slapped the controller on my thigh.
“Play,” he said softly.
“I am playing,” I growled.
“No play,” he said again.
“Play?”
He air motioned a guitar, and I knew we needed to be done. It was midnight and I was suddenly exhausted. I stood to signal I was finished with the conversation, and Galehaut took the hint. I gently shoved him into the hall as he laughed saying, I didn’t have to be so pushy. I’d made it back to the living room to turn off the television and the light, when I heard a soft knock on the door. I spoke to Galehaut as I opened it.
“I told you I don’t nee...”
“He wasn’t there,” a sorrowful feminine voice cut me off.
It was Guinie.
“How could you lie to me? He wasn’t there.” I’d never seen her so angry as she barged through the open door, forcing me back against the wall with a push. It wasn’t the force, so much as the surprise, that sent me back.
“How could you tell me he was there? How could you give me false hope?”
“I…”
She stopped me with a smack to the chest. Then another. I grabbed her wrists to hold her off.
“Why would you do this to me? Wasn’t it enough that you were with Layne? Elaine is having your baby? How could you hurt me further?”
She wasn’t making sense, and I let go of her wrists with a bit of force. She stepped back from me and I walked away from her. I kept my back to her when I spoke.
“You don’t think I miss him? You don’t think I wanted him to be there? He was my best friend. He was like a brother to me, and I thought he was dead. Dead.”
I turned to yell at her.
“Do you think I wanted Layne to die? I didn’t want to date her, but I didn’t want her dead.”
I shouted.
“And I would never have been with Elaine if I hadn’t been so drunk, trying to wash away the memory of that damn kiss, and let you go.”
I had barely finished my words when Guinie was in my space. The force of her presence startled me and I fell back against the couch. I don’t know who leaned into whom first. It didn’t matter, because within seconds Guinie was wrapped around me. Her arm was around my neck and her lips slid over mine. We crashed into each other. We had shared a kiss weeks ago, but that was different. We were connecting in such a way that where I went, she was going. Her mouth fused with mine and the intensity of it made me breathless. My hands roamed her back before sliding to her ass gently pushing her against me. She groaned as we continued our attack of each other’s mouth. She spread her legs to crawl up my body.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” she said between kisses.
I was braced against the couch in an angle that allowed her to continue to climb me and wrap her legs around me. We were attached by lips, by legs around my hips, and arms choking my neck. It took several minutes to slow her eager pace as I tried to calm her with smooth strokes up and down her back. In time, she loosened her hold on my neck, but continued to kiss me in a way that was more of a caress. We found a rhythm that seemed familiar. It was a discovery of long suppressed passion. We were reenacting our first kiss.
“Guinevere. I can’t stop,” I said between licks of her lips.
My hands slid up to her cheeks and held her face as her legs slipped down my body. She was stuck on my erection and she held herself in place against my arousal, but our lips were still heady, the pace was tender as I covered her mouth with mine. She pressed into me and I ground into her.
“I don’t want you to stop,” she whispered, as her tongue flicked my lips.
I knew what she wanted and I was prepared to give it to her.
“Lansing,” she purred. “Please don’t deny me.”
And I knew I wouldn’t.
While I sensed that Guinie wanted it rough and fast to fill a void and forget, I knew that I needed it to be slow and tender. I needed to feel everything so I could remember. Clothes were frantically removed: her coat, my shirt, her top, my jeans. We found a medium that seemed to work for each of us. I wanted to taste her everywhere but she denied me. She said it could wait. When I touched her, she was more than ready for me. She purred again with pleasure, and I was thrilled it was me who was going to bring her a release we both needed. She hadn’t stroked me, but I was more than ready for her. By the time we reached my room, we were naked and I was between her legs. She didn’t need my prep and I had a condom on in seconds.
“Ahh…” I groaned as I slid inside her, in hopes of fulfillment. It felt wrong and yet my body took over. My mind raced as I slowly tapped into her. I wanted to worship her and I felt like she was letting me as I kissed her lips, her jaw, and her neck, but I still felt a disconnect. My hand massaged her breast as I pumped in and out of her. Her legs were wrapped around my waist. I felt like I couldn’t get close enough to her. I was overwhelmed with emotion for her. Until I looked down at her face.
She was facing away from me. Her eyes were closed tight, yet her mouth was open in excitement. She was taking short breaths to match the rhythm of me inside her, but her mind was somewhere else.
“Guinie,” I grunted, trying to hold back my release.
She snapped her eyes open and turned her head to face me.
“Look at me,” I demanded, increasing my pace.
Her blue eyes held mine, but they glistened with distance: a distance between us. We were physically connected, but I didn’t believe we were where we should have been.
“Me,” I began to groan as I started to slam into her harder. “Me. Me. Me.”
“You, Lansing,” she purred again, holding her eyes to mine. “You and I.”
I couldn’t hold on any longer. I burst inside her and felt her clench around me at the same time. We had come together, and for that brief moment, I thought we might have merged over the distance holding us apart.
We fell asleep, but when I awoke later to another hard-on and her ass against me, I took her rapidly from behind and she didn’t seem to mind. While
our first time had been a forced connection, the second and third were a power struggle.
“No one can know this happened,” Guinie warned, as I rammed into her from behind. I couldn’t see her face, and in the moment, I didn’t care. I needed her again. I felt primeval. I wasn’t going to get enough of her to fill the void of all those years, wondering what could have been. I didn’t want to think of anything other than being with her, in her.
“No. One. Will. Know,” I grunted into her hair, as my hand slid down her flat stomach and slipped between her legs to rub outside of where we were joined.
She screamed my name as she came around me. I held myself deep inside her, wishing I could fill her with the emotions I had for her. When my heart rate slowed and I felt her calm under my arms still wrapped over her from behind, I asked her if I hurt her.
She only rolled me onto my back and slid against me again, forcing my body to respond immediately to her takeover. I slipped another condom on after removing the other. I barely had it righted when she surrounded me.
“No one can know,” she whispered in my ear seductively, as she squirmed over my erection and her breasts flattened on my chest. She covered me with her body, her hair showered my face, and her voice surrendered my will.
“No one will ever know. Just you and I,” I breathed into her hair. She didn’t scream that time, but I felt her clench around me and she held me tight as she burst forth. She continued her control of me, her eyes closed in ecstasy.
“Again,” she whispered.
“Just you and I,” I sighed, as I felt her quicken her pace. She hadn’t meant for me to comment, she had meant herself. She was ready again. I tried to hold off my release, but the excitement was too great.
“I can’t hold out,” I strained.
“Promise me,” she said, working on me with her body, her knees on either side of my hips.
“Anything, Guinie.”
“Promise me, it’s our secret. Our story only.”
“I promise. Just you and I will know.”
As I said those words, she let herself go and I lost my restraint.
We made love one final time in the early hours of the morning. It was lazy and sweet and playful. Guinie seemed more relaxed, almost content as we slowly kissed, fingers traced, and bodies joined. I believed we were no longer trying to get over a hypothetical bridge; we were trying to build a new one. One that we shared together. Just her and I. We hadn’t gotten enough of each other. I was convinced we needed to make up for lost time before a full connection would be felt between us. I wasn’t ready to let her go, but somehow I knew I would have to. Eventually, guilt would enflame one of us.
I heard the front door of my apartment click shut and a thump on the floor that signaled Lila had dropped her bag in my front hall. I hadn’t realized before how much I recognized those sounds and how much comfort they brought me. I was still holding Guinie, and suddenly, I knew my time with her was done.
I threw on my jeans and picked up a t-shirt off the floor. I grabbed my cap again from the dresser and slammed it on my head as I opened my bedroom door. Lila and Fleur were in the living room, the television was on a children’s show and Lila was standing behind the couch. I was trying to come up with a plan to get Lila out, so Guinie could slip away when Lila looked at me.
“Hey,” she said to me, her bright smile greeting me warmly.
“Hey,” my groggy voice returned. “You’re back early.”
“It’s almost ten,” Lila laughed. “Late night with Galehaut?”
“Something like that,” I lied. Lila’s face seemed to read something in mine and her cheeriness slipped away. Her eyes travelled to stray pieces of clothing scattered across the floor leading to my room. Her eyebrows pinched together and her eyes roamed my body. I would have made a playful comment on another day, but I didn’t have time to flirt. She stopped at my waist and I looked down to see that I hadn’t buttoned or zipped my jeans.
“Who’s here?” she whispered, looking over my shoulder. Her voice betrayed her displeasure.
“It’s my apartment,” I immediately said in defense.
“I didn’t say it wasn’t,” she snapped in return. “It’s just….”
“It’s just what?”
“Never mind,” she sighed and turned her face to focus on the cartoon singing some silly song on the television. I was caught off guard to hear the sound of one of The Nights’ songs being sung as a jingle for friendship.
“What the hell is this?” I snapped.
“Hey,” Lila warned, as she glanced at Fleur.
“Lansing?” Lila and I both turned to see Guinie wrapped in a sheet, exiting my room.
So much for keeping what happened a secret.
Lila was bold, I had to give her that, and instead of making an awkward situation more awkward, she marched over to Guinie and shook her hand, introducing herself. She had gathered some of Guinie’s clothes as she went and handed them to her.
“It’s a pleasure to meet the woman Lansing talks about so much,” she lied. I hadn’t spoken to Lila about Guinie. I’d often change the subject as a matter of fact.
Guinie looked at me over Lila’s shoulder, but I’m sure my expression was one of dismay. I felt caught between a rock and a hard place, literally.
“I need to go.”
“Oh, don’t leave on my account. I’ll go to my room, you won’t even know we’re here,” Lila said softly. It was a familiar speech. One I’d heard before, the night that Layne was leaving as Lila came home. I realized how it must have looked to Lila. A revolving door of women.
“No, I really need to get going. I have practice at noon,” Guinie replied.
I blinked at her.
“You’ve rejoined the 4Gs?” My tone proved my shock and concern. The 4Gs were a string quartet of sorts, which Guinie belonged to as she played the cello.
“I need to do something with my time. I can’t keep waiting for…” Guinie sighed as her voice drifted away. She couldn’t keep waiting for Arturo.
“It was nice to meet you, Lila. Lansing talks about you often, as well,” Guinie smiled and retreated into my room.
“Hey,” I dashed up behind her. “Why are you sneaking off?”
“I need to go,” she whispered, as she dressed hastily. I tried to wrap my arms around her back and hold her to my chest. My nose was in her hair and she smelled like me. I was all over her.
“Sorry about Lila. But she’s cool. She won’t tell anyone.” I breathed in the scent of us together.
“I’m not worried,” she said, but the tension in her body betrayed her concern.
I spun her to look at me. Her blue eyes were liquidy and my heart broke to think that I had made her sad.
“Don’t leave like this,” I pleaded.
“I have to go,” she whispered.
“Just you and I,” I said firmly, trying to reassure her that only we would know what happened.
“You and I,” she repeated weakly.
I didn’t want to sound greedy, but I needed to know I would see her again. I needed to know when. As if she read my mind, she handed me those fateful words, “I’ll call you.”
Lila didn’t look at me after Guinie left. She picked up her bag near the front hall, walked past me to her room, and gently closed the door. My eyes met Fleur. She had turned around from her place on the floor to face me as the cartoon continued behind her.
“Mr. Lansing, you made her sad,” she said.
I wasn’t sure who she was referring to, but I had a feeling it was more than one woman.
“I seem to do that to lots of women, Ladybug,” I said under my breath.
“I’m not sad with you,” she said innocently, shrugging a shoulder.
I had to laugh a little and she smiled at me. I noticed again how much she didn’t look like her mother, and my mind wandered to the article I’d read the night before.
It seemed like an hour before Lila entered the living room. I’d watched the rest of the ri
diculous kid’s show with Fleur. Then, we were watching something about a girl on a journey, using a map and a backpack to solve her problem. If only it were that simple, I thought.
“Hey,” I said to Lila, who only gave me a nod of acknowledgement.
“Lunch, Fleur?”
Fleur spun around on her knees and leaned over the couch-back to address Lila.
“Chicken nuggets, please.”
“Why don’t I take us out to eat? Homer’s?”
Homer’s was the deli I planned to take Fleur to the other day. It had all kinds of foods, especially comfort foods, and I could use something from there.
“I don’t think so,” Lila said deadpan, “but thank you anyway.”
She disappeared into my kitchen and I stood to follow.
“What’s going on here?” I asked, grabbing Lila’s arm as she opened the freezer.
“I’m making lunch,” she said defensively.
I waited, but Lila didn’t speak.
“Look…I don’t know what you think happened…”
“Don’t,” she cut me off. “Don’t treat me like I’m an idiot.”
I didn’t know how to respond.
“You want to play house with her, fine. We’ll just have to establish some rules.”
“Rules?” I scoffed.
“Yea. I don’t need to hear you and her, and neither does Fleur. I can stay with Clare when you two…” her voice trailed off, as she banged the pan on the top of the stove and forcefully pushed the buttons to start the oven.
“I don’t need rules. This is my house.”
“Which I know. And yet you keep reminding me of it. Look, would you mind if I bring a guy here?”
“No,” I said and then I paused. Would I mind if Lila brought someone here? Without another heartbeat the answer was yes.
“Do you want to bring someone here?”
“Maybe.”
“No.” I bit out without even processing the word. Hell, no.
