“I need honesty right now. I need to know where we stand and what’s going on here.”
That I could understand perfectly well. “Nothing will happen here that you don’t want.”
He nodded and came forward to give me a hug. I hugged him tightly against me, and I barely restrained myself from kissing him in his hair as I’d done before. This was new territory for us together, and I wanted to be sure that we started out right instead of trying to jump into it just because I wanted him and had been wanting him since we’d first met. That wasn’t the right way to do this, and I was desperate to do the right thing where he was concerned.
He pulled away from me and headed back into the living room, then seemed to think better of whatever his plan had been at the time. “Can I go to bed in your room now?”
“Sure.” I led him upstairs and showed him my room. He didn’t ask what side of the bed was mine, and I didn’t tell him where I liked to sleep either. He chose the side closest to the wall, plugged his phone in, and laid it down on the nightstand while I went to the closet.
“Do you want something to change into?”
He shook his head, and I got out a pair of lounge pants, but I left my shirt off. He’d seen me naked, but I didn’t know if he would want me gone now. “Do you want me to change in the bathroom or is in here okay?”
“Here’s fine.” His voice was soft, and I could barely hear him from across the room.
“Are you sure? I don’t mind going away to change if you need me to.”
He shrugged and got under my big comforter. I decided to stay there and change my pants. When I felt him watching me, I turned around to face him. He didn’t look away, and I hurried. There was nothing sexual about changing my clothes, even though I could have made it into something. If it had been another night and we were in another place, I might have teased him, but that wasn’t the case right now, and he didn’t need that from me at all.
When I was done, I joined him on the other side of the bed. “Can I hold you?” I asked him. I definitely wanted to.
Without saying a word, he rolled over into my arms, and I clung to him tightly. Every smooth line of his fit against me as I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.
Chapter Nine
Mason
I WOKE up after barely getting a few hours of sleep, but at least the sun was up now. My phone was charged too, which was nice. I managed to get out of bed without waking Oliver up as I headed downstairs with my phone in my hand. I turned it on and noticed quite a few missed calls, mostly from my mom and Eli. There were a few texts from John. I deleted them without reading them. Nothing that he had to say would have made any difference to me at all.
Oliver’s phone was on the coffee table, and as much as I wanted to talk to my mom and my best friend, there was someone else I wanted to talk to as well, and seeing Oliver’s phone reminded me of that. I still had Chester’s card in my wallet, and that was still in my back pocket since I’d done very little to get ready for bed last night.
I sat down and I called him without a second thought, but I remembered to keep my voice low just in case I ended up waking Oliver.
“Hello, this is Chester,” he said when he picked up the phone.
“Hi, it’s Mason. We… uh met last night at Oliver’s place.” We’d sort of met anyway. I’d been pretty out of it. I still was.
He chuckled. “How are you? You looked pretty messed up last night. Hopefully things are better for you today.”
They might be. Hopefully. “I’m okay. Oliver said that you two broke up, though.”
“I broke up with him. It was time. Even if you hadn’t come into the picture, we weren’t going to last long.”
That seemed pretty pessimistic. “Huh? Why not?”
“He’s fun. He is definitely fun, and there are things I’ll always do with him. But, for me at least, he was never long-term material. I knew this going in. Most guys aren’t. In my opinion that is. He may be for you, and seriously, I wish you both the best of luck. I want him happy, and you looked like you needed a hug in the worst possible way last night. He’s just not for me. Did you call just to find out about us?”
I had, and now I felt kind of stupid about that. “Maybe. I just….” I sighed and leaned my head back on the couch. “My life is such a mess right now, and he’s been really nice to me, but I don’t think I’m worth you two breaking up over, or him waiting for me over either.”
“Really? Is that what you think?” He sounded like he was making fun of me. I got instantly defensive.
“Yes, it is.”
He laughed a little. “I know absolutely zero about you. I met you for all of a minute last night. And yet I can tell you with absolute certainty that, to him, you’re worth waiting for. So you figure out whatever you’ve got going on in your life, and then you get back to him because he’ll still be there.”
I’d only barely met Chester, but having him say that made me feel a lot better. “Thanks. I think I needed to hear that.”
“Anytime. Keep my number. Call me whenever you need to.”
I thought that was a little weird of him to say. “Even though I’ll be dating your ex someday probably?”
“Absolutely. What we had was more like friends with benefits. We were dating, but not really. We had fun, and it was good, but it was never going to last. Our friendship likely will, but the sex part? Don’t expect that to last forever. Not with anyone. What are your plans for today? Want to get lunch later?”
I had no idea what I was doing or what was happening but I was pretty sure I wasn’t ready to have lunch with Chester just yet. “Um, maybe later? I need to figure out some stuff first.”
“Of course. Take care of yourself, and relax. Oli isn’t that scary. Things will be okay.”
I couldn’t imagine calling him Oli, ever, and I was going to say goodbye to Chester but he’d already hung up before I could. I took a deep breath and called my mom back without listening to any of her voicemails.
“Hey, baby,” she said, sounding like she’d been crying a lot. “How are you doing?”
“I’m doing okay. How are you?” I’d never heard her sound so upset in such a short period of time. She never really cried, and now it seemed like that was all she was doing since I’d sent her that video.
“Things are….” She sighed and sniffled. “John is gone. I kicked him out, and he took his stuff.”
While that was good and all, she was still upset. “Do you miss him?” I knew that she’d loved him, and maybe she did miss him, but I couldn’t be in the weird place of trying to console my mom and get her to feel better for kicking out a man that had tormented me for so long.
“I do. I think. I had good times with him. But that’s awful. Isn’t it?”
I didn’t know what it was. I wasn’t a psychologist, and I had no idea how to help her. I only knew that I didn’t really want to.
After a while I guess she gave up waiting for me to answer her. “Are you coming home now?”
As much as I liked living with my mom, and as nice as it would be not to have to pay rent, I couldn’t do that. Not yet, maybe not ever. I needed to get my stuff back, but Oliver or Eli could help me with that. But I couldn’t be in that house again. I couldn’t be in a place where John knew how to find me so easily. Not if I wanted to try to be somewhat sane from here on out. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I’ll be getting my own place, and I’ll let you know where that is, but I can’t live in that house again.”
And there was a small part of me, that, as much as I hated to think this way, wondered if she wouldn’t take him right back if he apologized and said he’d never do it again. I needed some time before I dealt with this and before I could trust her to keep her word. And I couldn’t get that time if I was living with her again.
“I understand. I hate it, but I also understand. I want you to know that I also called your aunt last night. She knew about your uncle, but not about you. He’s in jail for what he did to a little boy in their ne
w neighborhood.”
“Shit.” If I’d pushed harder…. If I’d said it louder…. If I’d gone to the police myself… then maybe he’d have been in jail after me and that kid wouldn’t have had to go through what I did. “What happened to him?”
“Your uncle? He—”
“No.” I didn’t give a rat’s ass about what my uncle had gone through or if he was even still alive. “The kid.”
She was quiet for a long time. “She wouldn’t say exact details, but she did say that it was bad. Worse than what you told me.”
I closed my eyes and couldn’t stop my tears. “I have to go.”
“Mason….”
I hung up on her. I was being rude, but whatever. I couldn’t talk to her and deal with this. If Eli had been there, I would have run straight to him, but he wasn’t. Oliver, however, was right upstairs. I went up and found him just coming out of the shower. I hadn’t even heard the water running. He had a towel around his waist still, and his hair was wet.
“You’re crying. What’s wrong?” He came over and hugged me.
I sobbed, and I shook, and I couldn’t get any words out as he brought me over to the bed to sit down. He rubbed my shoulders and my back. I just kept crying.
Eventually I’d exhausted myself, and he helped me lie down on the bed. I watched him take off the towel and pull on his clothes. I still hadn’t told him what was wrong.
“My uncle hurt another kid,” I choked out.
He turned to me and finished pulled down his shirt. “I’m sorry. Is he in jail, or what’s going on?”
I nodded. He was, thankfully. Though I had no idea when he would be getting out. I hoped the answer was a very resounding never ever.
“The circumstances suck, but I’m glad he’s locked up.” Oliver came over and sat beside me on the bed.
I was too. But I still felt so guilty. “It’s my fault he went after that kid.”
“Why do you think that?”
I turned over so that I could look at him better, and I found him looking down at me, his hair looking nearly black because it was so wet as it wrapped around his forehead. “Because I never told the police what happened.”
“You were a little kid,” he reminded me softly.
“I could have done more,” I protested anyway.
But Oliver just shook his head. “You were a scared little kid who had been abused by a family member. You’d told your mom, and nothing happened. You have nothing to blame yourself for and you don’t need to hold any guilt for what happened to that kid.”
I wanted to jump to my mom’s defense, but I really couldn’t, because I knew that in some small way he was making perfect sense. Oliver was right, and that hurt too.
“Are you going to go back to living with her?”
I shook my head. “I don’t want to be anywhere that John can find me.”
“Here’s available,” he said.
I knew that. He said I could stay a week. “I’ll find a new place within a week. Promise.”
Oliver was smiling as he lay down next to me. “No, I’m serious. Stay here. For as long as you need. If you want to move out later, fine. I’ll help you. But for now, just stay here. It’s safe, and you can watch me work when my models say it’s okay. Then you’ll know I can be monogamous with you if you’re ever willing to try. Make sense? I was thinking about it in the shower. It could work out really well for both of us.”
“How would it work out well for you?” I couldn’t see any benefit for him if I lived here past the one week he’d offered me.
“Maybe I like having the company, and I spoke to Eli this morning while you were downstairs. Or, rather, I called the rescue and he picked up. I was wondering if I could come to take pictures of the horses sometime soon, and he said I’d have to be accompanied by someone who worked there whenever I was on the property. So, you see, I need you to be there with me if I’m going to take pictures of those horses.”
I rolled my eyes. It was such a lame excuse, but I could see how hard he was trying to make me feel better so I figured that I’d go with it as much as possible. At least until I was more financially secure and able to take care of things myself. I definitely didn’t want to infringe on his space or take advantage of him in any way. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Feel like getting a kiss?”
I really did. I leaned in, and I gently kissed him. And when we were done, he kissed me again. It felt weird to think that I was considering dating him, or maybe that we were already dating, since he’d just broken up with Chester, but after talking to Chester, it seemed like they were pretty much done and everything was cool between them. “Can we go out on a date?”
“Are you considering dating me, then?” He looked hopeful.
I guess that I was. “Yeah.”
“Good. Is now good for you, then? We could go get some breakfast as our first official date.”
Suddenly I was starving. I didn’t know what the future really held for any of us, but with Oliver at least, I knew where I stood, and that was more than I’d ever had before.
More from Caitlin Ricci
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Safe and Sound Page 9
