by Amy Richie
I wanted to tell him that it was ok—I would rather die than become a mate—but the words wouldn’t form. Maybe he would just understand. Sometimes it seemed like he could read my mind anyways.
“You won’t die here,” he shook his head wildly.
“Even…if I do…it’s ok.” My mouth was so dry it was hard to separate my lips.
“I won’t let you.”
“No SH, I…” I don’t want to be a SH.
“I know,” he bent low to my face. “There’s another way.”
“What…way?” There was no way I could survive, he knew that. He just wanted to make me feel better. I tried to smile, my lips may have moved a little, but he didn’t smile back.
“I can change you.”
“I thought…you didn’t want to.”
“I don’t want you to die.”
I guess that was different. The bond didn’t scare me like it did him. I already knew I could stay with Paris forever. And besides, it wasn’t like we had to be right next to each other all the time. I could still travel with the sisters—only I’d be able to keep up.
I nodded slowly, unable to move very fast. “Ok.”
“And the bond?”
“Won’t…be…a problem.” I half smiled up at him, but he didn’t return the gesture.
He ran one hand over his face, stopping to pull roughly on his chin. “I’m a twin, you know,” he said suddenly.
“Oh.” What did he expect me to say to that?
“Marcus. He married a human and then changed her. Dominick loved his human for hundreds of years. Rueben and his Anya were bonded for decades before he fully changed her.”
“Why…are you…telling me…this?”
“They all knew their mates…for longer than two days.” He wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand.
“You don’t…have to.”
“I won’t let you die.”
There wasn’t anything left to say. I would rather he changed me than let me die here, but it was his choice in the end. If he didn’t want to change me, I wouldn’t be able to make him. I wouldn’t ask again, either.
If he didn’t want me to be bonded to him…so be it.
Chapter 40
“I’ll do it,” he firmly said after too much hesitation.
“You’ll change me?”
“Yes.”
“Are…you sure?”
“I should be asking you that question,” his words were tense and the meaning thick—too thick for me to understand.
“You’ll be stuck with me. Whether…you want to be or not.”
I won’t stay with you, though, I finished the conversation without words. The sisters were bonded with Damien but they didn’t stay with him. He was with someone else that he wasn’t bonded with. It was possible.
“It won’t matter.” I wasn’t sure which part he was responding to. “I would have been stuck with you no matter what happened out here.”
“I’m not asking…you to love me.” I tried to sit up straighter but only managed to slide further down.
“You’re just asking me to save you,” he finished for me.
“Yeah.”
“And I told you I would.”
“But…you…don’t want to.”
“I do want to save you, Lexi.” His voice dropped even lower; or maybe he was just further away. “Ever since I met you, I’ve wanted to save you.”
“You did.” I reached out to touch him, but he was too far away and my arm was too heavy.
“It’s just,” he knelt lower again; since I wasn’t moving, “I never thought I would find someone. And now…with you.”
“I get myself…into stupid situations.”
“You’re so strong.”
“I can’t think for myself.”
“And smart.”
“I’m always getting hurt.”
“And a fighter.”
“But I am a survivor.”
“A survivor,” he agreed.
He inched closer to me until I could feel his warm breath against my mouth. “Traveling with the sisters had made you strong.”
I shrugged, unsure what he wanted me to say. “I didn’t have much choice,” I croaked.
It had always been like that for me. Keep up, obey without question, keep your head down. Otherwise I got left behind. So, I learned to run and ignore pain. I learned to block out the fear that sometimes threatened to take over.
Maybe Paris was right. They made me stronger.
“I guess so,” he replied to my thoughts.
“And now?”
“Now, I’ll change you into my life partner.”
I almost laughed at the unfamiliar term, but suddenly my mouth was busy. His kiss was gentle but demanding, pushing my lips open to explore the heat of my mouth. I pressed closer to him—as close as my body would allow.
He broke the kiss off first. I suddenly found a new burst of energy. “What’s wrong?” I reached for his shirt to pull him back to me.
“You were just bitten by a werewolf.”
“And kissed by a vampire.” I raised one eyebrow. “The kiss was better.”
“I hope so.” He pretended to scowl.
I laughed at his expression, but winced when the movement reached my ribs. “Ouch, don’t make me laugh.”
“Here,” he reached out to grab my leg and waist, pulling me down further until I was lying down in the cramped space. “That should make you feel better.”
It didn’t really make much of a difference. I didn’t feel pain now. Everything was numb. That probably meant I was dying, but even that was dull next to the pull I felt towards Paris.
“Yeah, that feels better,” I assured him. Who cared if it was a lie—as long as it made him smile like that?
“This is how it was always meant to happen,” he said, lying out next to me with his head propped up on one hand.
“Us trapped in a cave?”
“You and I bonding.”
“But you said…”
“That’s why Kiera sent me here. I understand now.”
I wasn’t sure that I understood what he meant. Kiera had sent him her to get me from the sisters and bring me back to Blakesly House. She had no idea that we were being hunted by wolves. How could she have planned any of this?
“I was the only one,” he continued in a hushed voice, “the only one who didn’t have a mate.”
“A mate?”
“A bonded mate,” he explained. “All my brothers are bonded. Kiera didn’t know what to do with you. That’s why she sent me,” he said again. “She hoped that we would fall in love.”
“In just a few days?”
“She didn’t know about the wolves.” He glanced down, worry making his eyes crinkle. He must have seen something I couldn’t. “Are you ready?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure you want to do this, Lexi? There’s no going back.”
The decision was easy, though, and already done. “I’m ready.”
He brought my wrist up to his lips without ever taking his eyes from my face. He was still giving me time to change my mind, but his efforts were wasted. I had already made up my mind. There was no going back now.
I pushed myself forward slightly so he would understand that I wasn’t backing out. He opened his mouth and I felt a tiny prick at my wrist. Before I could dwell too long on the fact that he wasn’t biting my neck, a sensation of pure love and happiness began to overcrowd all other thoughts.
He let go of my wrist before I was ready, disappointing me, but not taking away any of the love I had just experienced. “Your turn,” he whispered.
His hand was already dripping blood when he brought it to my lips. There was only a brief moment of hesitation on my part when I realized what I had to do, but once the first drop hit my tongue, I didn’t feel awkward anymore. I drank greedily until he finally pulled away from me.
He inspected my arms with a faint smile. I was shocked to see that the welts were almost heal
ed. I couldn’t see the wounds on my leg, but I could feel that they weren’t as bad either. It was amazing.
“How… How is that happening?”
“The blood is healing you.”
I could see that; I could feel that. “It’s amazing.”
“It will continue to heal you until you are perfect.”
“Like you?”
He traced the skin under my eye with one calloused finger. I had never noticed before how rough his fingers were. He had lived such a long life. It was easy to forget that when I looked at him. He looked so young, so full of life. But he had seen so much death—so much destruction. He had even caused some of it.
“I’m far from perfect.”
A flood of memories came to me then, memories that weren’t my own. A battlefield. There were bodies everywhere and the world itself was on fire. A flash of light whistled by me, way too close for comfort. A sword, I was holding a sword. Another flash and I was standing in a long white room. There was a woman wearing a long red dress slowly circling me. Another flash and I was in the forest. Miranda was there.
“What… What was that?” I gasped.
“My memories.” He sighed loudly. “It’s the bond.”
“I saw Miranda.”
“Yes.”
I forgot Miranda in the next instant, though, as Paris leaned down to press his lips to my forehead. The feeling was strange to me; I felt all the lines and softness of his lips as if they were my own.
They moved slowly down my face, resting at my eyelids, my cheekbones, my nose, my chin, and finally my lips. My breath stopped completely at the sensation, making little sparks of light flash behind my eyes. Was this love? Maybe.
Did we do the right thing?
“We did the only thing we could,” he answered softly.
“Regrets?”
“Only one,” he smiled.
My heart stuttered at the look, but picked up speed as his words broke through my haze. One regret. “What do you regret? Changing me?”
“I only regret hesitating, making you feel like I didn’t want you.” He let his hand caress the side of my face and rest lightly against my neck.
“It was a big decision. And you were right.”
I had no idea what I was asking. There was no way I could be away from him now. I wasn’t going anywhere with the sisters. How did they manage to stay away from Damien?
“I knew when I first saw you,” he said close to my ear.
“Knew what?” I could feel my entire body angling to be closer to him.
“That you were special.”
His face was so serious, but surely he was making fun of me. When he first saw me, I was just a human and obeyed the sisters to a fault. “I wouldn’t go with you.”
“Which is exactly why I knew.” He kissed the tip of my nose with laughter still on his lips.
“You said I wasn’t like any other human you had seen.”
“That part was true, but it was more than that.”
My wide eyes searched his face for signed of teasing. “What do you mean?”
“You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met, anywhere on this earth.” His eyes were intense as they stared back at me.
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” I whispered.
His lips pulled up into a wide grin, which I eagerly responded to. “I’m glad I found you.”
He could have meant that a dozen different ways. Found me with the sisters when Kiera told him to, found me when the wolf was attacking before it killed me. But I knew he meant something much more simple—and so much more complicated.
Suddenly, there was a sharp pain that started in my wrist where he had bit me and traveled quickly up my arm. I clawed at my arm, expecting it to be on fire or maybe the scratch marks were coming back. It felt more like someone was scratching me from the inside out, though. And when I looked, there was nothing.
Paris took my hand in his before I could draw blood. “What’s happening?” I screeched with what little breath was left in my lungs.
“It’ll be over soon,” I heard him respond, but his face kept flitting in and out of view.
“What will?” What will? My life? I hoped so.
The pain kept spreading until it was clear across my shoulders and down my other arm. It was like fire—liquid fire—searing through my body just under the skin. There was nothing like it. It drowned out all the good I had ever felt before.
“Just kill me, Paris,” I pleaded to deaf ears.
He stopped trying to touch me, choosing instead to just watch while I suffered. The fire spread quickly to consume my spine and stomach and was already half way down my legs. Soon, I would be completely gone. Maybe that’s what Paris meant when he said that it would be over soon.
“I’m dying,” I gasped just before my mouth refused to work anymore.
I had wanted to either be changed or left to die here with Miranda. Guess his decision was to let me die.
The fire burned through my skin until I could only see the white hot behind my eyelids. He could have at least made it quick and painless, he didn’t seem like the cruel type.
I had heard stories about the cruel vamps before though. The ones that tortured humans before killing them completely. And just for fun—no other reason. My hips rose off the ground as the fire slid down my back.
Humans had every reason to fear vampires, I thought around a hazy hue of pain. Paris flitted in and out of focus, intently watching me. He didn’t really look like he was enjoying my pain, but he also wasn’t trying to stop it.
“Please,” I silently pleaded. “Please just kill me.” If he heard me at all, he didn’t respond.
If pain were a color, it would be red. Not the red of the sunset sky, the red that made my heart ache with longing to look at it. Instead, it would be the red of a flame, the red that licked the branches and destroyed life.
My only relief came when the pain turned black. When everything turned black.
Chapter 41
My eyes opened slowly, lazily coming back into focus. Outwardly, I knew Paris and I were still trapped inside a cave by a crazy pack of mutant wolves, but inwardly I could hardly bring myself to care. Paris was with me, there was nothing else I needed.
My lips curled up into a slow smile at the thought of Paris and what had happened. What had I been so afraid of? What held me back? I should have asked the sisters to change me a long time ago.
The cave was still dark, not much time had even passed, but I could see everything now. I could easily make out the tiny spider web cracks running along the top of us and along the walls. That had probably happened when Paris caved in the entrance.
It didn’t frighten me now that I saw it, though. Even if the entire mountain caved in on us, we would be fine. I pressed my fingernails into the rock beneath me, marveling at how easily the granite caved in. Were all vampires this strong?
No wonder they didn’t run from the wolves. Sudden sadness washed over me. If only I had been changed before, I could have saved Miranda. The wolves wouldn’t have stood a chance with both me and Paris.
“Hey,” I heard a lazy voice beside me that sent a thrill up my spine.
“Paris.”
“How are you feeling?”
“I thought I was dying.” Already the pain felt like a distant memory though.
“In many ways you did.” His fingers touched lightly on my arm, making me jump. He pulled away at my movement.
“Everything is so much more clear.” I watched a tiny red ant crawl across the ceiling above us—the same ceiling that I hadn’t even been able to see before. “Will I ever get used to it?”
“I don’t remember,” he sighed. It’s been too long since I was human.
“What?” Was that his thought? Was I hearing him?
“I said I don’t remember.”
How long as it been? I tested if he could hear me.
I’ve always heard you.
We weren’t bonded before.
It
’s low-level telepathic abilities that come with time.
“And you’ve had a lot of time?”
“Yes.” His thoughts turned far away. “So many years.”
“Well,” I leaned up on one hand so I could look down at him, “don’t think you’ll be able to hide things now.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he teased.
It was nice to see him smile up at me; it did strange things to my heart. Maybe being a vampire wasn’t as different as I thought it would be. His smile still made my heart beat faster. I still wanted to kiss him.
What are you waiting for, then?
I lowered my head to his, until our lips could join. I had never felt such a sweet sensation. It took my breath away, until I had to pull away from him. He was still smiling.
“How long have we been here?” I asked after I found my voice. Weeks? Minutes? It was impossible to tell.
“It hasn’t been long—not weeks,” he smirked. “Maybe a few hours.”
I ducked my head and pushed his arm out of my way so I could press closer to his body. I felt his heart thumping through the thin t-shirt that clung to his hard chest. It wasn’t uncomfortable, though.
It was the only place I ever wanted to be. For the rest of my life, we could just stay here in this cave so I could listen to the sound of his heart beating wildly. What else could be this important?
His deep chuckle made the side of my face vibrate. “You will get thirsty sooner or later,” he rumbled heartily.
“Maybe, but not right now.” I inhaled deeply and let my breath out slowly.
Thirsty.
Unpleasant visions of the sisters and the messes they left behind flashed to the front of my memory. Would I be like that? An uncontrollable monster that took what I wanted without any thought to anyone else? That’s not what I wanted. Would I be able to control it?
Paris’s hands moved to stroke the back of my hair, instantly chasing away any unpleasant thoughts of blood from my mind. Everything would be alright now. How could it not be?
“I’ll teach you what you need to know,” he assured me with a light whisper.
“Everything you know?” I traced a lazy design across his chest.
“That would take a very long time.”
