“Oh, no, I really don’t—” Mel protested, but Diane interrupted.
“I would consider this repayment for the debt you owe me,” Diane said. “In full.”
Mel felt the pinching, piercing, painful twist of the screws against her thumbnails. Now it was all coming into focus. The reason Diane wanted her to do her dirty work for her was because Mel owed Diane a favor, a big one, from their college days. She had never thought Diane would be so mercenary as to cash in on the worst night of Mel’s life, but clearly she had misjudged her old friend.
Mel reached into her apron and took a pen out of the large pocket. She snatched a paper napkin out of the silver dispenser on the table and began to sketch a few ideas for cupcake toppers. She figured she could make them in an edible fondant.
She led off with Diane’s It’s not me, it’s you and then followed up with a heart broken in two, the word love with a circle around it with a line across it, and a pretty cursive topper that read Love stinks. She turned the napkin toward Diane so that she could see it.
“A dozen?” she asked.
“Perfect,” Diane said. “He loves caramel, so if you could make a batch of those, that would be perfect. I’d like to picture him choking on every bite.”
Mel studied her for a moment. “He’s not allergic, is he?”
“What do you mean?” Diane asked.
“I’m not delivering caramel cupcakes to a guy who is allergic, am I?” she asked. “Just because you’re angry doesn’t mean you can put him at risk.”
“Mel, what kind of person do you think I am?” Diane put her hand on her chest in a protestation of innocence.
Mel noted that even Elliott gave Diane a dubious look, so he might be besotted but he wasn’t completely oblivious to Diane’s temperamental nature.
“Your word,” Mel said.
“Sheesh, fine,” Diane huffed. “You have my word that he isn’t allergic to caramel.”
“Or milk,” Mel said.
Diane rolled her eyes. “Or milk.”
“Or gluten, eggs, any dairy, wheat, sugar . . .” Mel started listing all of the ingredients she could think of at the moment.
“He’s not,” Elliott said. Mel turned to look at him. He fussed with the placement of his plate and fork as if needing them in perfect alignment and said, “He used to make fun of me for my food allergies. He seemed to think it wasn’t manly to be lactose intolerant. He gave me a smoothie once with a raw egg and some yogurt in it. I was sick for a week.”
Diane patted Elliott’s arm. “I should have dumped him then and there. Big jerk.”
Mel glanced between them. Elliott’s face turned a hot shade of red, but Diane seemed unaware that it was her touch on his arm that caused him embarrassment as opposed to his shame at the hands of her ex. Mel felt bad for the guy. He had it bad.
“All right, so I’ll deliver the cupcakes to your ex tomorrow,” Mel said. “Do you have a picture or something so I can make sure I deliver them to the right guy?”
“Mel, you met him,” Diane said. She sounded exasperated.
“I did?”
“Yes, don’t you remember, last year at that magazine gala, Mike was my date?”
“You mean the gala where we made a huge cornucopia of cupcakes with the staff of Southwest Style magazine, the gala where I was trapped in a fire and almost died? That gala?” Mel asked.
“Yeah,” Diane said, sounding irritated. “I introduced you to Mike and I even told you I thought he was going to pop the question.”
“Huh, I must have been preoccupied with fleeing for my life,” Mel said.
Diane shook her head at her. “I’m disappointed in you, Mel. That’s really self-absorbed of you, you know.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Mel said.
She glanced at Elliott. He blinked at her behind his glasses, reminding her of an owl. Then one corner of his lips turned up as if he knew exactly how she felt. Mel decided she liked him. If he could see the absurdity of Diane and be in love with her anyway, he was good people.
Diane’s phone chimed and she glanced at it. “That’s my eleven o’clock. I have to go.”
“All right,” Mel said.
She followed Diane and Elliott to the door.
“Text me a picture of the cupcakes, so I can approve them before you go,” Diane said.
She was texting while talking so Mel stared at the top of her head, noting that Diane had the telltale dark roots of a fake blonde showing. For some reason, this gave Mel a boost in the old self-esteem. She had no idea why. It wasn’t as if she had anything to do with her own DNA, but still, in a world of fake blondes, it felt nice to be the real deal.
“Oh, and if you really need to remember what Mike looks like, just go on my Instagram account,” Diane said. “We did Coachella a few months ago. He’s the one with the sad man bun on his head. Honestly, it’s the mullet of our age. I made him cut it off as soon as we got home.”
“He still has the gross beard, though,” Elliott chimed in. “It’s kind of thin and scraggly. I don’t think all the raw-egg smoothies in the world are going to help him with that.”
“Scraggly beard, got it.” Mel nodded.
As the door shut behind them, she sagged back down into a seat at one of the tables. She had no idea how she was going to finesse the delivery of breakup cupcakes to the unsuspecting fiancé. Then again, it really didn’t matter. She would do it because as Diane had so happily reminded her, she owed her old roommate one, and Mel wanted nothing more than her debt to be paid in full.
“How was your day, dear?” Joe DeLaura asked as he strode into the bakery kitchen via the back door.
Mel glanced up from the steel worktable where she was perfecting her breakup fondant. She had rolled out a large piece of white fondant and cut out round buttons the size of quarters. Now that they were dry, she was using her edible gel markers to draw the pictures she had sketched for Diane. This was the tricky part, which was why she had made extra buttons, because if she pushed too hard while drawing, she’d ruin the fondant.
“Oh, you know, I baked a little, ate a little, sold a lot,” Mel said. “How about you?”
Joe put the carry-out bags he’d brought with him on the table and leaned in to kiss Mel. When his mouth lingered on hers, she felt her insides flutter just like they always did when Joe entered her personal orbit. They’d been dating like a normal couple for the past few months and Mel was sure she’d never get used to it.
She lifted her gloved hands like a surgeon who was prepped for an operation and used her elbows to hook Joe in and pull him close. Then she kissed him as if she hadn’t seen him in days instead of just that morning.
“I am never going to get tired of this,” he said. He hugged her tight before releasing her and glancing around the kitchen. “Where’s my boy?”
“Captain Jack is out front, terrorizing Marty while he cleans up,” Mel said. She pointed to the carry-out bags. “What’s cooking?”
“The best take-out Mexican in the valley,” he said. “Two orders of Fiesta Burrito’s carne asada French fries.”
“I knew there was a reason I loved you,” she said.
“And here I thought it was for my good looks.”
“Those don’t hurt, either.”
Joe glanced down at the table. Then he frowned. “Please tell me that is not dessert for you and me.”
Mel followed his gaze to the anti-love fondant buttons that would soon be decorating Diane’s one dozen cupcakes of caramel-crushing heartbreak.
“No, no!” she cried. “These are a commission from my old college roommate. She’s breaking up with her fiancé.”
“Via cupcake?” Joe asked. He glanced back at the table. “Harsh.”
“Diane isn’t known for her subtlety,” Mel said.
Joe tipped his head to the side. “Diane?�
��
“Diane Earnest,” Mel said. “We roomed together at UCLA until she went for an internship in New York City.”
“Blond? Walks like a T-rex?”
“You know her?”
Joe looked uncomfortable. “We might have dated.”
“Might have?” Mel asked. “That’s not like sort-of pregnant, is it?”
“Well, it was more like the county hired her company to work on our public image, and I was sent to have dinner with her,” he said. He ran a hand through his thick dark hair and then loosened his necktie as if he couldn’t get enough air. “She seemed to think it was personal while I thought it was business. I didn’t catch on until our third meal where she informed me that she was dining commando.”
Mel choked on some spit. “She . . . Oh my god! How does a woman inform you that she is underwear-less in polite conversation?”
“Given that she had me jacked up against the wall, polite is not the word that leaps to mind,” he said. He shuddered.
“Oh, Joe,” she said. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about this?”
“I think the psychological damage I incurred caused me to block it out,” he said. “Plus, it was five or six years ago and you and I weren’t a thing yet.”
“Have you seen her since?”
“No,” he said. “And I’m not planning to ever again. Are you sure she didn’t request poison in any of these?”
“Don’t even joke about poison and my cupcakes in the same sentence.”
“Noted,” he said. “It’s just that she strikes me as the sort who might hold a grudge.”
“Since she’s breaking up with him for his lack of capital, I don’t think she’s looking for revenge as much as public humiliation, which is why she wants me to personally deliver the cupcakes and report back on his reaction,” Mel said.
Joe turned to look at her. A little V formed in between his eyebrows, which was Mel’s first clue that he was unhappy about the proposed delivery situation.
“What do we know about this guy?” Joe asked.
“His name is Mike Bordow and his family owns a party supply company called Party On!”
“Doesn’t ring a bell.”
“I don’t imagine it would unless you’ve seen him in court.”
“How do you know he’s not going to handle this by going completely bonkers?” Joe asked. “I don’t want you in harm’s way. I think we’ve both had more than enough of that.”
“No argument there. I don’t think Diane would send me into a potentially dangerous situation. I suspect she wants to embarrass him but I can’t see her putting me in jeopardy to do it.”
“Really?” Joe asked. “Have you stayed in close contact with her? Do you know what she’s capable of?”
“I’ve seen her at events over the years, and we like each other’s social media posts.” Mel turned back to the table. Her buttons were dry and she started to place them on her cupcakes.
“Social media is lies, all lies,” Joe said. “You can’t get a real feel for a person who is image-crafting online. Her life probably looks amazing and is actually a complete train wreck.”
Mel considered what he said. Diane’s social updates were a bit over-the-top, no question, but did she have a dark side that could be teeming with evil plans for vengeance? Mel didn’t think so.
“I’m just going to deliver a dozen breakup cupcakes,” she said. “What could possibly go wrong?”
Four
“Diane, I don’t have all day to chase down your ex,” Mel said into her cell phone while she juggled the box of cupcakes and her purse.
She was leaving Mike Bordow’s country club in the McDowell Mountain foothills under the watchful eye of the club’s hostess. No one had seen Mike and even though it was still early morning it was beginning to heat up. She felt a trickle of sweat slide down her back before being absorbed into her gray tank top, which was probably marred with sweat stains already. Fabulous.
“You’ve only tried his club,” Diane protested.
“And his house,” Mel argued.
“Fine, just stop by his office,” Diane snapped. “If he’s not there then we can discuss an alternative.”
“Text me the address, please,” Mel said.
“Okay, but call me when you get there,” Diane ordered.
Then she ended the call without so much as a good-bye. Mel had to admit she was going to be relieved when the cupcakes were delivered, her debt to Diane was paid, and they could go back to being friends at a distance.
She unlocked the door to her red Mini Cooper and climbed in. She strapped the box of cupcakes into the passenger seat and turned on the engine to cool the car while she waited for Diane’s text. Her phone chimed and Mel glanced at the address to see that the location was in the industrial section of Scottsdale, near the airport. Great, just great.
She put her phone away and left the country club. If she was lucky and traffic was light, she’d be able to deliver the cupcakes and be back at the bakery within the hour. Then she was done with this whole messy situation.
She wondered how Mike Bordow was going to react to receiving breakup cupcakes. She hoped she didn’t have to explain it any more than to say that the cupcakes were from Diane. Oh, god, what if he got mad and yelled at her or, worse, cried?
She didn’t think she could handle a strange man blubbering about his breakup. It was one thing if she knew a person, but this man was a complete stranger. What if he threatened to do himself harm? Was she obligated to stay and make sure he didn’t?
Because she was in north Scottsdale, she opted to take the 101 south toward the airport. As she took the exit that would take her to the warehouse, she heaved an irritated sigh. She had so many better things to do back at the bakery than to deliver cupcakes for one very high-maintenance client. Yes, she owed Diane a favor, a big one. At that Mel punched on the radio in the car. Anything to distract herself from thinking about past stupid decisions.
She wondered how the flower shopping had gone with Angie yesterday and knew that when she did return to the bakery, she would have to spend the rest of the day pretending to be listening when Angie hemmed and hawed about the merits of each flower, asked Mel which she preferred, and then spent the rest of the day second-guessing her final choices.
Mel was suddenly relieved to be on the road away from the turbo bride. She could only hope that Tate had offered some strong opinions in the flower-selection process to help her out. It seemed he was the only one who could offer an opinion without making Angie cry.
Then again, this was Tate. He’d probably enjoy using cactus for centerpieces if it moved the ceremony along and scored a laugh. He had pushed for a down and dirty civil ceremony, but his mother had insisted on the full-blown, big traditional wedding for their only child and Angie’s parents had been in total agreement for their only daughter. There was no escaping the humongous wedding that was unfolding before them. At last count, Mel had heard the number of guests was somewhere around three hundred and fifty. It made her regret that her elopement with Joe hadn’t taken because she really didn’t think she could handle that big of a wedding.
Mel cruised past the Scottsdale Airpark, which led her into the industrial district. She checked the address on her phone and knew she was only two left turns away from where she needed to be. Unfortunately, it was two left turns broken up by seven stoplights, which gave her a chance to plan what she was going to say.
“Hi, I’m Mel . . .”
No, there was no point in giving him her name. It wasn’t like he was ever going to come to Fairy Tale Cupcakes and order a dozen from them after this. She drove to the next light, which turned red right before she got there.
“Hi, I have a delivery for Mike Bordow,” she said. That was better. “These are a gift from . . .”
No, no, no, these were not a gift so much as an icing-covere
d kick in the man junk. She breezed through the next three lights and stopped, flipping on her signal to take a left.
“This is a delivery from Diane Earnest. If you could sign here,” she practiced. There; that sounded nice and professional and blissfully vague. She would have Diane on the phone with her of course, which was weird, but whatever the client wanted the client got, right?
She saw the warehouse for Party On! ahead on her left. The small parking lot in front of the building looked empty so she parked right in front of the main doors, which opened into the business’s showroom. The building was huge, so she figured they stored all of their party supply goods here in the huge warehouse beyond.
She wondered if the cupcake business would ever require them to have this much space. She really hoped not. There was no way she could quality control the amount of bakers it would take to fill up a place this large.
She climbed out of her car and felt the heat slap her in the face. It was the start of summer in central Arizona and the weather guys were already calling for record heat. After thirty-three years of living here, Mel knew she should be used to it, but every summer seemed just a little bit harder to get through than the last.
She circled the car and took her cupcakes from the passenger seat. The bright pink box looked so festive compared to the message inside. For a moment, Mel felt really bad about what she was about to do. What if Mike was crazy in love with Diane? This could be excruciatingly awkward. But then, once she did this favor for Diane she would have her old debt paid in full. It was a no-brainer and Mel strode forward, hitting the lock fob on her keychain as she went.
She put away her keys and took her phone out of her purse as she approached the door. With the cupcakes balanced in one arm, she dialed Diane’s number and then let the phone rest on the top of the cupcake box as she pulled the front door open.
Cool air washed over her, and Mel felt the sweaty spots on her tank top turn cold. Not necessarily a bad thing. The showroom had high ceilings and loud music playing. Displays of glassware, linens, plastic flowers, and a pergola filled the large room.
Caramel Crush Page 3
