by Jenny Hale
Noelle stared at the names carved into the wavy pane in front of her, amazed by the significance of them. They’d been there for so many years and yet they looked as though they’d just been written. “Wait,” she said, pulling her eyes from them to focus on William. “Where’s Elizabeth’s name?”
He stood unsteadily. “Elizabeth wore a different ring,” he said, almost sharply, as if she’d said something wrong. “The original engagement ring was lost, so the tradition ended with my mother Phyllis.” He started toward the door.
“Oh, how awful.” How could anyone lose a four-carat ring? “You don’t think it was stolen, do you?” she called after him, and he turned around.
“No, it wasn’t stolen,” he huffed. “I know that for sure. But it’s gone now, so that’s the end of the story.” He turned around and hobbled out of the room, but she noticed his hand was trembling on his cane again. “When you finish in there, I’d like you to help me bid on a few antiques,” he said as he left. She could only imagine how disappointing it must have been for William not to have that ring to offer Elizabeth. His irritation was clear, but she wondered if it was also sadness. She could hardly imagine losing something valuable of Gram’s; how must it feel to lose a family heirloom that special?
He didn’t talk about the ring again, so Noelle didn’t bring it up. It was clearly a sore subject. It was crazy that no one in the house had found it, which was why she’d wondered if it had been stolen. Perhaps it was lost outside the house? But then she supposed that enough time had gone by that it was gone forever, so best not to speak of it again, even though the thought of the ring had captured her imagination.
They returned to the sitting room. With a few clicks, she opened the Internet on William’s laptop.
“I enjoy bidding on antiques,” he said finally, settling in beside her. “It’s a pastime I have. I try to fill the house with as much period furniture as possible. Elizabeth got me started by finding the first pieces and it became a hobby for us. I have to admit that my original delight wasn’t finding good pieces; it was seeing the smile on her face when we had. I suppose I still look for pieces as a way to preserve that happiness Elizabeth had when we would shop for them together. It makes me feel whole.” He cleared his throat. “While most of the interior is decorated with original pieces, some things got lost or damaged over the years so I like to try to keep the house as close to how Henry had imagined it for his bride.”
“But you didn’t live here…” she said, as more of a question for him. He seemed awfully interested in a house that he’d refused to live in.
“No, but this house is important to me. I adore it.” With a deep breath, he said, “Elizabeth wanted me to live here. She begged me. But I told her that it was easier to work out of New York than it was Richmond, Virginia. There was nothing for me here.”
“What about Alex? Where did he grow up?”
“He grew up here with his parents, and when they died suddenly—he was eleven—he stayed here with Elizabeth. When she was in New York, he had nannies.”
Noelle would never allow Lucas to be raised by strangers half the year. The idea of this made her think back to Alex’s expressions and how serious he sometimes was, and she felt like she could almost see that little boy he’d been. Had he been scared all by himself in this big house with no parents?
“What are you thinking about?” William asked.
She was taken off guard by his perceptive question. He seemed to know whenever something made her ponder.
“You need your medicine,” she said, setting the laptop on the end table and standing up to change the subject. She didn’t like having empathy for Alex because it made her want to put her arms around him and tell him it was all okay. His parents had been taken from him at a young age. Did he still ache for them?
She handed William his pills in a little paper cup along with a glass of water. “Can I ask you something?”
William swallowed the pills and held the water out for her to take it, the act of sitting seeming to be a chore in itself. “Sure,” he said, the lines in his forehead pulling down with the furrowing of his brows.
“Why don’t you and Alex get along?” She wanted a real answer to who Alex really was if she was ever going to understand him and change his mind about the bakery. William had shared a few things with her. Perhaps he’d share this.
William’s gaze dropped down to his lap, and he didn’t answer at first. Then, clearly after great thought, he said, “Some of it is my fault, but some of it is also his.”
“Do you ever talk about things with him, tell him what bothers you?” She moved his cane from the sofa cushion where it rested, leaning it against the coffee table, and sat back down beside him.
William shook his head, annoyance showing in the way he pursed his lips. He didn’t add anything further.
“I just hate to see trouble within a family. Family is all we have. My family is the great love of my life, and I wouldn’t want anyone to miss out on that.”
He smiled, his irritation dissipating. “You are so young,” he said. “I’ve lived a long life and what I’ve found is that family isn’t always picture perfect. Sometimes people get along famously and sometimes they don’t. When I think of the great loves of my life, I can pull a handful of experiences out of my pocket, and few of them involve my family.”
Noelle didn’t have a clue how it would feel to not be close with her parents, to Pop-pop and Gram, to Heidi. The idea of being without everyone was terrifying. “Well, I’d consider Elizabeth to be your family since you married her, and she seems to be the love of your life.”
“She is one of them, yes.”
“Who are the others?”
“It isn’t important,” he said, leaning forward uncomfortably. “But here’s what I’ll tell you: you’ll know the love of your life because you won’t be able to get him out of your mind—family or not.”
When he said it, Noelle’s face flushed because she’d been thinking a whole lot about Lucas, but she’d also been thinking about Alex as well, so there was no way that statement could be true.
“Who do you think about?” she asked instead.
“I don’t allow myself to think about anyone anymore.” He coughed in that way of his that told her the emotion was welling up. “Now, could you please help me get to my feet? I’m tired and I’d like to lie down.”
“I’ll just sit out here once you’re asleep, if that’s okay—in case you need anything.”
He nodded but it seemed as though he were just appeasing her.
While he slept, Noelle unpacked the rest of his suitcase, which was still sitting on the floor, as best she could and put it all into drawers, piled up the laundry she could find in the bathroom for housekeeping, cleared his dishes from his breakfast, and tidied up his suite.
By lunchtime, William was still napping and Noelle was lost in her thoughts. She walked the long corridors toward the kitchen, barely noticing anything until she came to Alex’s office, where what she saw on his desk from the doorway caused her to stop.
There was a shopping bag that hadn’t been there, and two very expensive-looking cameras. Then, she noticed something brightly colored, nestled in the bookshelves among all the brown and black books. It looked out of place and she didn’t remember seeing it before. Upon walking in, she saw a few more, so she went up to one and pulled it off the shelf. It was a children’s novel about dinosaurs. She ran her fingers along the bright green lettering, remembering the delight Alex had when he’d said those bookcases were shelves of “nothing much.” She slid the book back into its spot.
“Hi,” Noelle heard from behind her.
She spun around, facing Alex.
“You’re back?” she said, surprised to see him. He was looking at her the way he had the other night and she got a glimpse in her mind’s eye of his lips as they came so close to hers. It clouded her judgment for a second.
He walked in and picked up one of the cameras, fiddling with it.
“I found these at a shop when I was in New York yesterday,” he said, looking as though he’d just told her a secret. He lifted one up, turning the focus on it, pointing it toward the large half-circle of windows at the back of the office. They were enormous, spanning two floors and overlooking the grounds that were a lush green despite the winter cold and the overcast sky. In front of the glass sat an exquisite telescope—its brass and wood had to be as old as the home.
He took a picture, the contraption looking comfortable in his hands, and held it out to show her the digital screen on the back. The shot he’d just taken with hardly a thought was gorgeous—the bookshelves framing the window with the shadow of the telescope slightly off center to reveal a magnificent tree just past it. She hadn’t noticed it before. She looked over his shoulder to see if she could view it from where she was, and sure enough, it was there. “That’s amazing,” she said.
“It’s a good camera, isn’t it?”
“I was talking about the shot, not the quality of the camera.”
He looked up from the screen and smiled tenderly. “Thank you.”
She remembered the photos that William had shown her, suddenly speculating… “Those photos in the hallway—the black and whites—did you take them?”
“Yes.”
“Oh my God, Alex. They’re amazing. You’re so talented. The one of your grandmother is beautiful.”
Unexpectedly, a different emotion washed over his face. The mention of his grandmother obviously took him off guard. He looked vulnerable.
Noelle knew what that kind of love and loss was like. She felt it every day for Gram. She missed her so much that she could hardly stand it. She used to have difficulty even going into the bakery, but after the initial grief had gone, she realized that staying away from it was the wrong thing to do. Being there made Noelle feel closer to her. Alex should be with his grandmother. “You love her.”
“Yes,” he said, setting the camera down as if the weight of it was too much all of a sudden.
She came closer and looked up into his eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said, feeling heartbroken for him, and for just a second it seemed like he might put his arms around her. Then, shaking his head as if to release the ache in his heart, he walked to a bookshelf and took one of the brightly colored books from it. She wished that he’d confided in her, but he’d cut the conversation off right away, and closed up. It made her feel like any spark they may have had was more one-sided and she wanted to kick herself for letting her guard down again.
“I thought Lucas would like this,” he said, his eyes on her, but that affection he’d had was now more neutral. “I bought a few genres.” He pointed way up the ladder and she spotted yet another, catching a rare glimpse of the winter sun through the stained-glass dome in the ceiling.
“Why?” she asked defensively, his thoughtfulness confusing her. He couldn’t do this with Lucas: just turn his emotion on and off like he was doing with her. Lucas’s happiness wasn’t a game or something Alex could be involved in when he got bored. Lucas was one of the loves of her life, as she’d tried to explain to William, and she didn’t want him to get his little spirit broken.
“Why not? He told me he only owns one book. I wanted him to have more. He’s a bright boy, Noelle. He deserves to have all the books he can get his hands on.”
“Well, it’s just that you’ve known him for a matter of minutes; I’ve known him his whole life. I know what he needs.” She said the words but there was a little prick of fear in her stomach that, after seeing how Lucas had reacted to Alex, she might not know what he needed and that she hadn’t picked up on it before. She squared her shoulders to hide her insecurity.
Alex regarded her curiously. “Something else is going on. You seem… preoccupied. Upset,” he said slowly. “What is it?”
“Nothing.” She wanted to leave before she made a fool of herself by saying something she shouldn’t, but she’d have to walk past him to get to the door, so she stayed put.
“Is this about…?”
His gaze flickered down to her lips and then back up to her eyes. He took a step toward her and she froze, unable to process her thoughts. He was so difficult to figure out.
“Have you had lunch?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“Follow me.”
As if pulled by some sort of force that was stronger than her will, she followed him.
They walked to the family dining area and he offered her a seat. Then he left the room quickly, returning right away. “I’m having the chef make us a quick bite to eat,” he said. “How’s lentil soup and grilled cheese-and-tomato sandwiches?”
“That actually sounds delicious,” she said, glad she could recognize the fare.
“I don’t have a lot of time. I’ve got a meeting, but you look different today. Something is bothering you. Has my grandfather said anything to upset you?” He pulled out a chair for her.
“No,” she said, sitting down, leaning on the table and then remembering her manners and sitting back up. “Why don’t you get along with him? He seems like a very nice man.”
He pulled his chair up beside her and blew air through his lips. “Well, he isn’t.”
“He told me about your grandmother,” she said.
Alex sat up. “What about her?”
“That she has Alzheimer’s and she’s in a home.”
“Yeah…” His words trailed off and he broke eye contact.
She decided to press him. Normally, she wouldn’t dare put her boss in such a position, but he’d nearly kissed her, he was buying gifts for Lucas… “He said he can’t go see her because it’s too painful.”
“No,” he snapped, his gaze back on her. “He won’t go see her. Because he doesn’t care. He never has.”
“Is this why you don’t like him? Because it seems to me like it’s just a misunderstanding and it can be worked out. He said he’s heartbroken over it.”
“Just like you told me with Lucas: you’ve known him minutes, Noelle. You don’t have the whole story.”
“Then tell me.” Why had she just said that? He’d told her he was busy and he didn’t have a lot of time. Not to mention that she didn’t need to get any more buried in this family’s issues because the more she did, the more she started to care, and she shouldn’t allow herself to care about Alex Harrington. By his reaction the situation might be even more complicated than she’d thought. And after the way he’d been in his office when his grandmother had come up, she doubted he’d open up anyway. But there was a pull, an energy beyond her that made her want to know. She couldn’t define it, but she could feel it.
Alex rubbed his temples in frustration and then looked at her, and the honesty in his eyes took her by surprise. She couldn’t wait to hear what he was going to say. “My grandmother was the only person in the world that I loved.”
Their lunches were set down in front of them, Alex thanking the servers before they exited quietly.
“He never loved her,” Alex blurted angrily, noticeably surprising himself. It was as if his resentment had gotten the better of him and years of pushing it down came bubbling up the moment someone gave him permission to say what he felt. But, despite his initial hesitation, he continued, “She should be loved. She’s the best person I’ve ever known. He doesn’t deserve her.”
Noelle was so confused. Neither Alex nor William was being made out to be the person she witnessed. She didn’t know what to believe. “How do you know he didn’t love her?” she asked.
His eyes grew dark, intense. “Because he loved someone else. She told me. It haunted my grandmother her entire adult life.”
His statement was so matter of fact that Noelle believed him right away. Her pulse in her ears, she stared at her steaming soup, heat crawling up her body. She’d nearly forced him to tell her this terribly personal information, and now she remembered William saying that he had other loves of his life. Never before had she willingly dug up old family baggage, and she hadn’t meant to
now. She’d just been trying to get William and Alex to understand each other.
“Don’t let him convince you that he’s some kind of saint just because he’s hobbling around, sorry for himself. He doesn’t love anybody in this family,” Alex said, placing his spoon in his soup. “He never loved his wife; he never had time for my father either and my father, in turn, didn’t have a lot of time for me because that’s how he was raised. And I felt it. Every day I felt that void. My parents died in a plane crash when I was eleven. That’s a tough age to deal with that kind of loss all alone. All I wanted was for my grandfather to tell me he understood, but that conversation never came. In fact, he was absent, refusing to come back from New York. He’s always hated this house. Perhaps it was because we were all here. Even before my parents died, my grandmother listened to my fears, to my confusion, to everything I felt. The rest of the time, I was alone.”
Noelle saw the raw honesty in his face and she completely trusted that he was being truthful. He wasn’t trying to charm her; he was letting her in. She felt an ache for the idea of Alex, at such a young age, growing up by himself. What a sad and lonely existence. Without even a thought, she moved into his space and he turned to face her. The attraction she felt toward him was stronger than her will, and she put her hands on his face and looked into his eyes.
