by K. A. Tucker
Maybe that’s why Cain and I can’t seem to keep our hands off each other. “I’m sorry, Cain. I don’t know what kind of parents don’t celebrate their children’s birthdays,” I offer softly. “I thought that was just a mandatory thing.”
Cain’s mirthless chuckle fills the darkness. “She celebrated one.” There’s a long pause, so long I turn to make sure he hasn’t passed out. He’s awake, his eyes intently on the side of the desk, his mind obviously far away. “On my fourteenth birthday, my mom introduced me to this girl named Kara. Said she was the daughter of a friend from out of town and asked me to take her out. The girl was hot and older and I had no plans, so I figured, why not?
“She picked me up in a van that night. We drove around for a bit, talked about nothing important, and then she pulled into an empty, dark parking lot. We started making out. Fuck, I wasn’t going to complain. I was still a virgin and she seemed nice and into me. Things got heavy and before I knew it we were in the backseat, she was naked and pulling a condom onto me.”
“Sounds like a fourteen-year-old’s birthday dream come true,” I blurt out, followed by a “sorry.” Those are the kinds of thoughts I’m supposed to keep inside my head.
Cain snorts. “It was . . . until she dropped me off at home and I saw the tears running down her cheeks. I couldn’t figure it out. She seemed so into it. When I got home, the first thing my mom asked was, ‘Was she any good?’” I hear Cain’s teeth grind together. “I had no clue what my mom was involved in at that time. A year later, a few buddies and me broke into the house where my mom ran her bookkeeping business—my grandmother’s old house. I hadn’t been in it in years. It was the middle of the night, we were drunk, and we just wanted a place to hang. Turns out that the bookkeeping business was more of a hobby, and a front for what was really going on inside that house. I found Kara in a room there with some old married guy. After I chased him out, she admitted that my mother had set everything up, that night we were together. She wanted to make sure Kara could go through with paid sex.
“That’s how I lost my virginity. At fourteen, to a prostitute, arranged for me by my mother.” Cain’s head falls back against the couch. “Kara ended up ODing a few years later,” he offers vacantly.
“Oh my God, Cain.” My chest tightens. So many of Cain’s childhood memories seems to end with sex, drugs, death, or a devastating combination.
Turning, I move to prop myself up on my elbow, intent on distracting him from his dark thoughts. But he quickly shifts out from beneath me, muttering, “I’d better go check on things out there.” Without another look back, he leaves.
A prickly lump settles in my throat. Is this about his birthday? Or is Cain upset with me for something? I can’t bear that thought. Maybe I shouldn’t have prodded. I never prod. I shouldn’t start now, slurring and dizzy from those stupid drinks. When he comes back, I’ll shut up, wrap my arms around him, and hold him tight.
Until then, I’ll just rest my eyes for a while. It feels so good to close my . . .
chapter thirty-one
* * *
CAIN
The place is a fucking disaster—empty glasses and bottles everywhere. Nate is sitting on the stage with his back against the dancer pole, hunched over. Focusing in on him a little more closely, I see that his eyes are closed.
Giggles from the V.I.P. room tell me that Mercy and others—likely Ben included—are still there, defiling the space. Aside from them, the place is empty. I hit the lights and grab some more water, then check the doors to ensure they’re locked and security is set.
Charlie’s snoring quietly when I return. I pull a blanket over her body and spend a long moment watching the woman I’ve come to care so deeply about.
And then I pull her file from my cabinet. I check the birth date to confirm that it’s September 23. I’ve never been to Indianapolis, but I have a hard time believing they have enough snow to toboggan on in September. That’s my first question. Maybe there’s an explanation, though. Maybe they celebrated a few months late. Maybe they went to the North Pole for her birthday.
More important, though . . . who the fuck is Sam?
* * *
I know she’s awake before she makes a sound or moves a muscle. I sense it in her body, the way it goes rigid against mine. I managed to slide in beneath her comatose frame last night and grab a few hours of sleep with her in my arms. “Do you know what time it is?” she asks in a croaky voice and I feel her swallow several times.
Reaching back to grab my phone that I placed on the side table last night, I flip it open to check. “Eleven.”
She lets out a cute little groan. “God, I drank a lot last night. I’ve never drunk that much before.”
“How are you feeling?”
“I may still be drunk.”
I chuckle and then wince, the first sign of my own hangover making its appearance. I feel her swallow again and I reach back for a bottle of water. “Here, drink this.”
She moans appreciatively, shifting into my groin. “Seriously, Cain?” She shakes her head.
“Sorry,” I mutter. “It’s the morning and you’re lying on me.”
“Hmm . . .” I watch as she eases herself up into a sitting position. I haven’t forgotten what she said last night. I was drunk, but I wasn’t that drunk. I know I told her that I don’t care about her past. And I don’t. But we’ve been together for weeks now. I’d like to know who the fuck Sam is and why she’s referring to him as her father, when her father’s name is George Rourke.
Or is it?
Standing, she wobbles a bit, using the wall for support as she heads toward the bathroom. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m still drunk,” she announces, pawing at the light inside before closing the door.
If I weren’t me, I might not worry so much about this. But I am me and she still hasn’t divulged a damn thing about herself, even after I laid my history out for her to judge. I lay awake beneath her for hours, trying to rationalize it, to tell myself that it doesn’t matter to me. Still, I feel a sense of bitterness seeping in. A touch of betrayal that this woman doesn’t trust me, or my word that I would never hold her past against her.
At the same time that the toilet flush sounds inside, her phone begins ringing. Normally, I wouldn’t think to go through her things. Now, though . . . I don’t hesitate. I unzip her purse. I pull her phone out.
And I answer it.
“Hello?”
There’s a second or two of dead air and then, “Who is this?”
“This is Cain. You looking for Charlie?”
Another pause. “Yes. How do you know her?”
I don’t like the calm, even tone of his voice. It sounds manipulative. “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name?” The number is marked “unknown,” so that doesn’t help me.
A soft, condescending chuckle answers me. “That’s because I didn’t give a name.”
This must be the same guy that Ginger spoke to. I don’t have patience for this. “Well, then I guess you can go fuck yourself.”
A sharp hiss fills my ear. “You don’t sound like the kind of man I want my daughter with.”
“Pardon me?” I did not expect that. And Charlie’s father is in Pendleton, so it can’t be true. “Who is this?” Wait . . . “Is this Sam?”
The line goes dead.
The phone is still in my hand when Charlie emerges with a freshly washed face. She freezes, her now violet eyes skittering from the phone in my hand, to her opened purse, to what I assume is a stony expression on my face.
“What are you doing?” She’s trying to sound casual about it, but it’s impossible. I can almost see the wave of shock as it ripples through her.
“Who’s Sam?” I can’t keep the bite from my tone.
She blanches, her mouth opening to tremble for a second. “You talked to Sam?” Her jaw clamps shut instantly as if she didn’t mean to say that out loud. There’s undeniable fear in her voice and my anger wavers as worry courses in.
So S
am does exist. And she’s afraid of him. “I don’t know, Charlie. The man I just talked to said he was your father but he wouldn’t give his name. So is your father Sam or George?” I can tell by her screwed-up face that she’s trying to process the logic behind my words. I sigh. “You were talking about tobogganing with your dad last night. You called him ‘Sam’ but your dad’s name is George. So . . .”
She averts her eyes to dart around the office, searching for something. An answer. Or an escape. Her eyes suddenly widen as panic flies through them. “Did you give him your name?”
“Yes, I did,” I answer calmly.
Somehow, her face pales even more. “Why?”
“Why not, Charlie? Why wouldn’t I?”
Her head shakes back and forth, ridding itself of panic and fear and . . . everything. “You had no right going through my things or answering my phone.”
Standing, I gently place the phone back in the purse. “I guess not.”
I turn my back on her and walk out to the club.
* * *
“Some people need sleep,” John mutters groggily.
“Then don’t sleep with your phone by the bed,” I retort.
With a loud groan, followed by a coughing fit that leaves me cringing at the sound of morning phlegm in John’s lungs, my P.I. demands, “What do you need?”
“Is there any chance that her ID is fake?”
“I assume you mean Charlie?”
“Yes,” I snap with impatience. When I came back to my office after half an hour, Charlie was gone. She took either a bus or a cab, because she didn’t have her truck here.
I have half a mind to drive over to her place and force the truth out of her. I can’t bring myself to do it yet, though.
“It’s damn solid if it is. She’s got a valid passport, birth certificate . . . everything. Maybe it’s a stolen ID. You’d need a ton of cash and major connections to pull that off.”
“But it’s possible.” Is everything that I know about Charlie a lie? Has she been lying to me all this time?
His heavy exhales blows into the phone. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Okay. Can you see what else you can dig up on Charlie Rourke? Old school pictures, gymnastics pictures, anything. And find out if there’s anyone by the name of ‘Sam’ in her life.”
“Will do.”
I hang up. I stare at my phone, the lump in my throat choking. I want to call her. But, right now, I’m pissed off, too.
More, though, I’m something I haven’t felt in years.
I’m hurt.
chapter thirty-two
* * *
CHARLIE
I knew it was coming.
I’ve sat on a park bench overlooking the water for hours, staring out at all the people who live their own lives, who worry about paying their rent and what bar they’re going to go to on the weekend.
Waiting for my phone to ring. And now it’s ringing, the display reading “unknown caller.”
He’s anything but unknown.
My stomach twists into knots as I answer.
“Hello, little mouse.”
“Hi.” I’m still shocked that he called my phone. It’s registered under “Charlie Rourke” and I’m sure he’s using a burner phone, but still, he’s breaking one of his rules.
“How are things?”
“Good.”
“Good. The weather’s lovely at home.” Small talk. Sam always did like to keep it simple.
“It’s nice here, too.”
“Good, good.” There’s a pause. “I need you to check your email.”
My stomach drops.
“What?” No . . . I didn’t hear that right. It’s been only a few weeks. I was supposed to have months, or longer. Or forever. “I thought we were laying low.”
“We were. The problem has been resolved.”
What? “No!” I take a deep, shaky breath. I’ve never said no to Sam. Ever. “I mean . . .”
“Is there something wrong?” There’s a long pause. “Is this because of Cain?”
He may as well have reached through the phone and torn my insides right out of my body.
Now Sam has Cain’s name. How long before he has more? “No.” My hand has never shaken as badly as it does now. I don’t even have the steadiness to push it through my hair.
Why did Cain have to do that? Why? I had to fight the gasp from escaping my mouth today when I came out to find my phone in his hand and that strange, inexplicable look on his face. It was like a punch to my stomach.
And then he started questioning me, as I’ve dreaded him doing for weeks. I didn’t know what to do, what to say, so . . . I turned it all back on him. As if he were to blame for all this.
I could tell he was angry with me. Worse, by the look in his eyes, I could tell he was hurt. When he turned his back on me and walked out, I did the only thing I could think of. I walked out to the street and hailed a taxi.
“Does he know . . .” Sam’s voice trails off, deceptively calm.
“No!” That comes out strong and fast and unmistakable. “Nothing.”
“Then how did he have my name?” Suspicion. I hear it dripping from his voice. He thinks he caught me in a lie.
“I was drunk. I let your name slip. It was something harmless, though, about birthdays and—”
“Nothing is harmless!” he snaps, and I flinch. With a breath, he adjusts his tone, though there’s no mistaking the ice. “You are down there for a reason. You will do what I ask and you will follow the rules! And, if you don’t feel that you owe it to me for giving you all that you have, then do it for your friend’s sake because, if I have to come down there, I’ll make sure he isn’t causing me any more problems. Do you understand?”
Dread seizes my lungs. Somehow I don’t think a simple conversation with a teenage boy—as he most likely had with Ryan Fleming—is what Sam has in mind now. “Okay,” I manage to get out in a raspy voice.
“Good thing, little mouse. Right away.” The line goes dead.
Quickly logging in to the Gmail account, I find the draft folder. Sure enough, the instructions are there.
Ten tonight. Eddie and Bob. Fuck . . . Bob. How is that going to go? I have to hope he realized his own mistake after he sobered up. Maybe he’ll apologize?
Maybe I’m the biggest moron in the world.
I have to get out of work tonight. I wonder if Cain even wants me there anymore.
If Sam gets hold of him, he’ll wish I’d never walked through his door.
* * *
I never noticed how heavy that black door at the back of Penny’s is.
I could have just phoned Cain. Or texted him.
And yet here I am, walking toward it, aching to see him, ready to crawl on my knees to beg his forgiveness. I can’t think much beyond right now, except that I need to see Cain. And that I’ll be doing the drop tonight, to make Sam happy. To find some reprieve.
After that . . . I can’t think about it. I know what needs to happen and I just can’t face it right now.
On the third knock, the door opens and Nate’s giant body fills the doorway. His face immediately splits into a wide grin when he sees me. Hope sparks. Maybe Cain doesn’t hate me after all. If Cain hated me, Nate would know about it.
I walk down the hall toward Cain’s office, butterflies stirring, preparing to give an award-winning performance on deathly female cramping—complete with hands pressed against abdomen and hunching over. That’s the only thing I can think of and, given that my period is due any day now, it should work well.
I push open the door to find China, with her skirt hiked up around her waist, straddling Cain’s lap on his chair, her lips locked onto his.
And the butterflies drop dead.
chapter thirty-three
* * *
CAIN
Fucking perfect.
I was one second away from forcefully removing a brazen China from my lap because she wouldn’t get off voluntarily—after leaping on, uninvited—w
hen she decided to plant her lips on mine, crushing my dismissal.
And of course that’s the exact moment that Charlie would show up unannounced. Because that’s the kind of luck I have.
By her wide eyes and hanging jaw, I can tell that Charlie is both surprised and hurt.
And I can’t blame her.
In one quick motion, I remove China from my lap—trying not to shove her too hard as I push her off—and I stand, straightening out my pants. Charlie’s eyes drifting down tells me that the bulge in my pants is noticeable. Dammit! That wasn’t from China! That was because, while China was working on a basic math problem, I was eyeing the silver tie hanging on my door, remembering how I walked in to find Charlie wearing it—and only it—a few nights ago.
This is exactly why I should never have sex in my office.
Clearing her throat, her voice is strangely calm. “Sorry, I should have knocked. I came by to tell you I need the night off. I’m not feeling well.”
Not feeling well. Bullshit.
Neither am I. Fuck, China!
I stall. “What’s wrong, exactly?” Stupid question.
“Female issues.” Her eyes avert to the floor and I know without a doubt that she’s lying. But what can I say, except, “Sure, okay. I’ll drive you back to my place.”
“No. That’s okay.” She threw that one back fast. She begins to turn and my hand instinctively flies out, clasping onto her forearm. Not tightly, but enough to keep her there. “That wasn’t what it looked like, Charlie. I promise.”
She responds with a tight smile. Twisting out of my reach, she turns on her heels and briskly walks out. I hear the heavy exit door slam shut a moment later.
