Still running? Why, Adrianne? Why?
On she raced, a woman on a mission.
“Adrianne, wait.” When she didn’t slow, he called out, “Please!”
She came to a halt, then slowly turned to face him, her eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry, Chris. I—I can’t talk right now.”
Can’t or won’t?
“I have a meeting.” She shot a glance at her wristwatch and looked back up with a pained expression. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any choice.”
“Well, then, I’m going to wait for you,” he managed, pushing aside the lump in his throat. When she started to argue, he added, “I don’t care how long it takes. I’ve waited eight years. I can wait a little longer.”
She drew in a deep breath and nodded. Then, without a word, she disappeared into a door on the right.
Chris leaned against the wall to collect his thoughts. Why now, Lord? After all this time? After all of my unanswered letters?
At that moment, his best friend, Stephen, appeared at his side, a look of intrigue on his face. “Something you want to tell me, man?”
“Um, I...”
Stephen shrugged. “She’s a knockout, but she doesn’t look familiar to any of us.”
She wouldn’t.
“Doesn’t resemble you, so she’s definitely not your sister. A long-lost cousin, maybe?”
“No. Not my sister or my cousin.” Almost my wife. Chris slid down the wall and sat on the floor.
Stephen looked down at him, clearly intrigued. “Interesting game we’re playing,” he observed. “Wish I knew how it was going to come out in the end.”
“You and me both.” Chris closed his eyes and tried to make sense of all this. How could he begin to explain? When Adrianne had bolted from his life years ago, the hole in his heart had been huge. For months, he had grieved both the loss of her love and her friendship.
And her respect.
His breaths grew faster as he thought about it now. How many letters had he sent to her parents’ home in Philly those first two years? Fifteen? Twenty? And how many times had she responded?
None.
“When you’re ready to talk, I’m here.” Stephen crossed his arms and cast a pensive gaze his way.
“When you’re ready to talk. . .” Chris’s mind flashed back to a phone message he’d left for Adrianne nearly eight years prior. He had spoken those same words. “When you’re ready to talk, Adrianne, I’m here.” Apparently she hadn’t been ready then.
And judging from the look on her face, she wasn’t ready now, either. In his heart, he suspected the reason for her leaving. He had blamed himself all these years—and rightfully so.
“I tried to tell her I was sorry.” He spoke the words aloud now and brushed the mist from his eyes.
Stephen stared down at him, a concerned look registering on his face. “Sorry for what?”
“We dated for nearly two years,” Chris whispered. “And I promised her—promised God—that we wouldn’t. . .”
“Wouldn’t what?” Stephen sat on the floor next to him.
Chris sighed. “We were going to wait until we got married. We promised each other. I’m not sure when things started to slip, but they did. I take full responsibility. I should have stopped it, should have. . .”
“Chris, it happens to the best of us,” Stephen said with a look of understanding in his eyes. “We all have good intentions, but sometimes we end up giving in to temptation.”
“Yeah, but we were in Bible college. I was going into the ministry. Missions, no less. If anyone needed to stay pure. . .”
“Chris, God calls all of us to live in purity,” Stephen said. “Being in the ministry doesn’t make you more accountable. But it does make you more vulnerable, at least to some extent.”
“I disagree.” Chris shook his head. “Being in the ministry does make me more accountable. And I take full responsibility. I’m completely to blame here. No doubt about that. Somewhere along the way I. . .we. . .crossed a line. And I lost her because of it. She left.”
“Left?”
“The school. The relationship. Everything. Just. . .left.” Chris closed his eyes and thought back to the note she’d left under his door. “Adrianne said we couldn’t turn back the clock, couldn’t go back to the way things were before. She said she had to”—he swallowed hard—“had to get her life back on track. When I read her letter, I just broke. My mistakes cost me the one person I loved above all others.”
“Look”—Stephen reached over to give him a squeeze on the shoulder—“I don’t claim to have the answers. But I know you, and I know you’re a good man. A godly man. I’m sure you’ve made mistakes along the way. We all have.”
Chris looked up, hope setting in, and whispered, “Thanks.”
“You’ve already made things right with the Lord. And it’s not too late to ask for Adrianne’s forgiveness.” Stephen stood and offered him a hand up. “Maybe that’s why God has led you here.”
“Maybe.” Chris contemplated the possibility. Lord, are You behind all of this?
“I don’t believe in coincidence.”
“Me, neither.” Chris stood alongside his friend and sighed. “And I thought I was in Philly to be your best man.”
“Always a groomsman, never a groom.” Stephen chuckled.
Chris groaned. “I know. Don’t remind me.” How many times had he played this role through the years? Four? Five?
“Your day is coming.” Stephen patted him on the back. “But in the meantime, it looks like the Lord has given you an opportunity to get some things off your chest.”
Chris nodded, unable to speak.
“I’ll be praying for you, my friend.” Stephen glanced down the hallway. “But right now I’d better get back to my bride-to-be. I’m surprised she hasn’t come looking for me yet. And you. . .” He gestured Chris’s way. “When you’re done meeting with Adrianne, join us in the restaurant, okay?”
“Okay.”
Stephen headed off down the hallway, turning as he reached the end. “By the way,” he called back, “that ‘always a groomsman’ remark was just a joke!”
Chris forced a smile. “Yeah, I know. Don’t worry about it.”
For now, he would happily play that role. Perhaps, one day, the Lord would shift him into another.
THREE
Adrianne tried to focus on Mr. Kenner, tried to stay tuned in to the excitement in his voice as he told her about the incoming grant money. On any other day, she would have jumped for joy. But today, with Chris on the other side of the door, her thoughts volleyed between joy, intrigue, and sheer terror.
“Are you okay, Miss Russo?” Mr. Kenner reached to pat her arm, a look of concern on his face.
Adrianne nodded in silence.
He chuckled, then broke into a broad smile. “I can tell you’re in shock. I understand. It’s a huge amount of money. I’m sure it’s going to take awhile to sink in.”
Another nod.
“I’ll be in touch within a day or so to fill you in on the details,” he added. “In the meantime, feel free to share the news with your employees. Looks like we’ll have a lot to celebrate at the fundraising extravaganza.”
Adrianne snapped to attention and extended her hand. “Mr. Kenner, I can never thank you enough.” Tears erupted, but she didn’t even try to force them down. “That grant money means the world to us.” She managed a smile as he gripped her hand.
“I’ve told you”—he made direct eye contact and gave her hand a gentle squeeze—“to call me James.”
“James.” She stared into the man’s eyes about three or four seconds, just long enough to grasp his all-too-personal meaning. At that point, she withdrew her hand from his and returned to a more businesslike stance. “I’ll look forward to your call.”
“And I, as well.” He offered another pat on the arm as he turned to leave the room. Her gaze followed the handsome thirty-something as he left, but her mind never shifted from another man—the o
ne standing outside the door.
Christopher Bradley. The love of her life. The one who still took her breath away, still drained every ounce of normalcy from her at the very sight of him.
And he hadn’t lost a bit of his charm or his shocking good looks.
Adrianne closed her eyes a moment and tried to collect her wits before walking out into that hallway to face him head-on. For some reason, her thoughts gravitated to his beautiful green eyes. How they had once swayed her with their love.
But no more. No, she was a grown woman now, a woman capable of looking forward, not behind. What was it Dani had said? Ah yes. “If I had a life outside of the things of the past, I’d stick to the present.”
“Thank You, Lord, that I’m not ruled by my past,” Adrianne now whispered. Certainly there were many issues to dredge up, if she cared to do so. But all of the mistakes of yesterday had been washed clean away, dealt with once and for all.
Hadn’t they?
A little shiver ran down her spine and she offered up one last prayer before leaving the room. “Father, not my will but Yours be done.” And then, with a resolute spirit, she tiptoed out into the hallway to see if Chris had, indeed, waited for her, as he’d promised.
Yes. She couldn’t help but smile as their eyes locked. He’d waited. And the look on his face told her he would have stayed till midnight, if necessary.
“Adrianne. . .” His eyes misted over and he reached to take her hand. It wrapped hers perfectly, like a glove. Nothing had changed there.
“Chris.” She gestured for him to join her in the meeting room, and he followed like a puppy on her heels as she ushered him inside. Adrianne closed the door behind them, then offered him a chair.
Once seated, Adrianne drew her hands into her lap and clasped them together. A protective habit, really. Even after all of this time, she still inwardly longed for the feel of his hand in hers. Nothing could ever replace that.
“I’m sure you have a thousand questions,” she began.
“Probably more than that.” He offered up a weak smile. “But I only want you to say what you’re comfortable saying.”
Only what you’re comfortable saying. . . How could she say anything at all, since the very things to tumble forth would surely reveal years of withheld truths?
Adrianne took a deep breath and pushed back the tears that threatened to erupt. Lord, I sense Your timing here. I don’t want to blow this. She gazed into Chris’s beautiful eyes and began.
“Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I need you to know that.”
His eyes misted over right away and he nodded a bit before speaking. “Losing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through.”
She instinctively glanced down at his left hand, in search of a ring. Surely, after all these years, Chris had married, started a family. Surely, he wouldn’t still be single.
Nope. No ring.
For whatever reason, a wave of joy washed over her. She fought to suppress it.
“Before you go on,” Chris said, interrupting her thoughts, “there’s something I have to say to you. I’ve waited a long time to say it, but I can’t let it go any longer. I know the Lord has brought me all the way from Nicaragua to Pennsylvania to speak these words. I’m. . .amazed. Grateful. But I’m terrified.”
“Terrified?” She was the one who owed him an explanation, not the other way around. Chris placed his hand on her arm as he spoke. “Adrianne, you were the love of my life. And I wanted to treat you with the respect and dignity every woman deserves. I wanted to marry you, to make you my wife.”
A lump grew in Adrianne’s throat and her gaze shifted to her hands as he continued.
“I’m so ashamed,” he said. “I let my physical desires get in the way of what God wanted. I took advantage of the situation, and I took advantage of you.” He reached to lift her chin so that they were now eye to eye. “And in doing so destroyed any hope of a relationship with the one person I loved above everyone else on the planet.”
Her heart felt as if it had been pressed upward from her chest into her throat.
“I don’t blame you for leaving,” he continued. “You were right to leave.”
“Oh, Chris. . .” If only you knew. . .
“I read your letter a hundred times. And the things you said were right. We couldn’t have turned back the clock, couldn’t have gone back to the way things were before. My mind-set was so wrong back then. I tried to justify everything. Told myself we were going to get married. Told myself you were already mine. . .”
“I told myself those same things.”
“I need to ask your forgiveness,” he whispered. “I’ve wanted— needed to do this for eight years.”
“You weren’t the only one who messed up,” she said. Whether she wanted to voice it or not, Chris hadn’t taken advantage of her. She could have drawn a line in their relationship. But she had willingly participated. Willingly. And doing so had changed not just her relationship with him, but everything.
“Losing you nearly killed me,” he went on. “And I want you to know—I need you to know—that I really tried to reach you. Multiple times, in fact. I sent letters. A couple dozen.”
“I know.” Tears began right away. “I read them.”
“You did?” His face lit with joy. “You read them?” She nodded and he reached to squeeze her hands. “Adrianne, why didn’t you let me know that you were okay? I knew the relationship was beyond repair, but I was so worried about you.”
She shook her head and brushed aside the tears. “I—I. . . It’s complicated. I was so scared.”
“Scared of what?” He gazed into her eyes, begging for answers.
And he deserved them, didn’t he? Hadn’t he gone for eight long years without knowing the truth? How could she go on keeping it from him now? “Chris. . . ,” she began. “There’s something I need to tell you. But I don’t think this is the right time, and I know for a fact it isn’t the right place.” She quickly jotted down her cell phone number on a scrap of paper and handed it to him. “Let’s plan to meet while you’re in town.”
“C–can we get together this weekend?” He fingered the tiny piece of paper, clearly nervous. “I’m only going to be here for the next few days for my friend’s wedding.”
“Still playing the role of best man?” she asked with a smile.
He shrugged. “Yeah. But please don’t say it. I hear it all the time from everyone else.”
She wouldn’t say it. She wouldn’t dare.
No, if she spoke anything at all, it would be the story that began eight long years ago—the story that would change his life forever.
❧
Chris walked toward the bistro, deep in thought. As he and Adrianne had arranged to meet the following day, he couldn’t shake the feeling that she had something specific on her mind, something she might have shared today, if circumstances had been better. She had stopped short of telling him something of major importance. He sensed it to the core of his being.
Lord, I feel like I’m shooting in the dark here. But I know You see everything. Help me see it all in Your time.
Chris continued on down the hallway alone, reflecting on everything that had just transpired. What a miracle to stumble across Adrianne after all these years. Seeing her had sent his heavy heart into flight. Her lyrical voice. The way the end of her nose tipped up. The light in her rich doe-colored eyes when she spoke. Nothing had changed.
And yet, with the very next breath he had to conclude the obvious. . . .
Everything had changed.
FOUR
“Where’s that girl of mine?” Adrianne entered the familiar spacious living room at her parents’ house, but couldn’t find a soul. “Hello?” She wound her way into the kitchen, which was still decorated in shades of the 1980s. Country blue wallpaper lined each wall, and her mother’s now infamous collection of ducks abounded. Adrianne couldn’t help but chuckle as she remembered her mother’s enthusiasm over “
all things country.” The fad had ended in most homes by the ’90s, but not in her mother’s kitchen, oh no.
“Hello?” Adrianne called again. Nothing. No one. “Hello?” She tried one more time. Through the sliding glass door at the back of the house, she saw wisps of smoke rising into the early evening sky. Ah. Dad was barbecuing again. She opened the door and peeked outside, a delicious smell greeting her.
“Hey there!” she called out.
“Mom!” Lorelei squealed and ran her way. The youngster wrapped herself around Adrianne’s waist, as always, bouncing up and down all the while. “You’re home!”
Funny, how her daughter still referred to her grandma and grandpa’s house as home, even after years of living in their own apartment.
“Were you good for your grandpa?” Adrianne asked.
“Gooder’n gold.” Adrianne’s dad turned from the barbecue grill long enough to respond. “But then again, she always is. That girl’s the apple of her grandpa’s eye.”
“I know, I know.” Adrianne sighed. “She can do no wrong.”
Little monster. She could get away with anything where her grandparents were concerned.
“Grandma, Mom’s here!” Lorelei’s lyrical voice rang out, and Adrianne turned to see her mother coming out of the back door with a tray of corn on the cob in her hands.
“I heard you come through,” her mother said with a smile. “But I was on the phone in the bedroom. One of the ladies at church is in the middle of a crisis, and you know I’m the one who heads up the prayer chain.”
“Yes. Of course.”
“Anyway, I’m glad you’re here,” her mother added. “You’re just in time for dinner.”
“Mom, you don’t have to feed us. I’m perfectly capable of. . .” She wanted to say she was perfectly capable of caring for the needs of her daughter on her own, but that would be wrong. Adrianne’s parents thrived on helping out with Lorelei. And Adrianne thrived on letting them.
“Help me out with this, would you, honey?” Her mother passed off the tray. “I need to get back inside to work on that cheesecake we’re having for dessert.”
Red, White and Blue Weddings: Red Like Crimson, White as Snow, Out of the Blue Page 2
