by Calista Fox
Davian could only imagine how agitated that made Michael. Were he in the other man’s shoes, he’d be desperate to see her. He could empathize with Jade’s friends, though he didn’t want anyone to become suspicious of her demi-demon abilities.
“Your back is finally looking better.” He was able to put aloe on it now, since the threat of infection had lessened.
“What a nightmare,” she said. “I could tell by everyone’s face how horrible the wounds appeared.”
“We were more concerned about how painful they were for you.”
She sighed. “Once I separated the burns from the cut on my chest, I really didn’t want to deal with the scorched skin—it was much too exhausting.”
“You tried to let the wounds heal on their own.”
“Ordinary people survive second-degree burns, Davian.”
“Yes, well…” He brushed strands of hair from her face. She’d folded her arms over a pillow and her cheek rested on her stacked hands as she gazed at him. The doctor recommended that she stretch regularly to keep the new skin from healing too tight and this seemed to be a comfortable position for her. “You’re not ordinary, so stop pretending to be.”
A sharp laugh fell from her lips. “I’m not complaining about my abilities. The agony level, however, could be reduced by several notches and I’d be happier for it.”
“Yes, there is that.” He recalled the needle incident the night of the assault. “My restraint was put to the test when Schaeffer gave you that shot of morphine, adding to your pain.”
“But you realized it wasn’t his fault.”
“That’s a much easier thing to accept in theory than in reality.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, her eyelids dipping. She still slept a lot. “You obviously picked the wrong human to fall in love with.”
He chuckled, despite the tension that coiled his gut over having fallen for a mortal—one he had difficulty protecting. “No, I didn’t.”
She smiled. “There’s something I forgot to tell you.”
“What’s that?” he asked as he stroked her hair.
“I love you too.”
He dropped a soft kiss on her cheek. “Now we’re really screwed.”
Chapter Eighteen
More time slipped by and Christmas drew near.
“Do demons celebrate holidays?” Jade asked Sheena one evening.
Davian had been gone for two nights to deal with military matters he’d been secretive about and Sheena had kept her company. With Jade’s acquiesce, the vampire had brought lined, silk drapes to cover the windows of the cottage so she could be there during the day.
The sapphire in the bedroom matched the headboard and duvet, lending color and richness to the cozy space; for the living room, however, Sheena had selected a softer ice-blue that created a light, airy ambience, despite the heavy fabric over the glass panes. The vampire had exceptional taste.
Regarding Jade’s question, she said in her sophisticated accent, “Some do. Depends on the occasion. For example, Halloween was always a favorite, pre-war. We could be out and about that night, and the ones surrounding it, without anyone batting an eye at us.”
“But you look normal,” Jade told her. “Well, with the exception of being insanely beautiful and absolutely flawless.”
She laughed. “I am not without flaws, I assure you. But immortality does tend to preserve one in a flattering way. For most demons, anyway. The vampires and the shifters. Immortals such as Davian.”
Jade’s heart fluttered. “Now that is perfection personified.”
Sheena scoffed. “Sure, if you like all that brawn and outrageous height. I prefer a little less sinew and someone I can look directly in the eye without standing on tiptoe.”
“Not me,” Jade said with a sigh that sounded dreamy to her ears. “All that strength is intimidating, yes. But sexy as hell.”
Her new friend studied her with a curious look in her emerald eyes. “You enjoy living on the edge, don’t you?”
Jade gave this question serious consideration. Then she said, “When my parents were alive, we had so many adventures. My father was cautious, of course, but he taught my mother and I to defend ourselves, so he worried less about us. That made it possible for us to enjoy short expeditions and try new things. After they died…”
She glanced around the room that had once been theirs. Hers was on the opposite side of the living room, but it didn’t have a fireplace, so she’d moved into this space when she was thirteen. It’d taken her two full years to cross the threshold without breaking down in tears.
“I really had to keep everything on an even keel—status quo,” she explained. “I didn’t have the sort of protection my father had offered me, though the slayers have always looked out for me. I suppose I just stopped thinking about anything other than making it through each day without freezing or starving or crying.”
Sheena stared down at the book in her lap. She maintained her usual post in the chair next to Jade’s bed. “I can’t imagine what it would be like to be human and vulnerable and all on your own at such a young age.”
“Actually,” she said, “I was very lucky. I had a place to live. I already knew how to manage the household, when to collect kindle and have the water tank filled and so on. How to cook and clean and mend clothes. I also had help from the villagers, of course.”
Sheena looked up from the textbook. “But it must have been so lonely. I’ve always thrived on being part of a coven. And when I moved into the castle… There’s so much activity, I never feel alone.”
“It’s not a comforting emotion by any standard—human or demon. But you do what you have to do, right?”
The vampire’s sculpted brows drew together. “You’re not at all what I’ve expected.”
“Am I the first human you’ve gotten to know?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact. And I feel quite fortunate because of it. I had a very tainted view of your kind and I never understood the king’s stance on mortals. When you first came to the castle, I didn’t leave because I wanted to prove I could do my job regardless of any challenge presented. But when I realized how badly hurt you were and how determined you were to rise above the pain and heal the damage, I was so impressed.”
Jade looked away, her stomach knotting. “You wouldn’t have been impressed with me at the church, Sheena. I wanted to die.” Shame seeped through her veins. “I honestly did.”
“But you didn’t give up.”
With a small shrug, Jade told her, “I didn’t have a choice. Davian is much too persistent.”
“Hmm, yes. He cares so much for you. And I can see it’s mutual.” Sheena paused as though gearing up for her next question. “Really, Jade, would you ever leave the human world for the demon one?”
Her gaze met Sheena’s. The vampire actually appeared amenable to the idea. This confused Jade. “How could I? And seriously, how many demons in the kingdom would be offended by my presence in comparison to the three or four of you who wouldn’t be?”
“There are complications and obstacles.” She neither validated nor disputed them. “But it’s something to consider.” Sheena tapped the sheets of paper Jade held in one hand and said, “Now solve this equation already, or I’ll think you’re purposely diverting my attention.”
Jade glanced down at the math problems she’d been grappling with most of the afternoon and well into the early evening. Her next attempt was little better than her previous ones.
Sheena said, “Remember, whatever you do on the left side of the equal sign, you must do on the right.”
How could a couple of letters and some numbers be so damn confusing?
“Learning Algebra, I see,” Davian said as he strode into the room.
Jade laughed. “Learning would imply I have an aptitude for this, which I clearly do not. General math was the extent of the lessons when I was in school, given there’s not much use for anything above what I’ve studied thus far.”
Sheena made
a tsking sound. “Everyone should know Algebra.” She snapped the textbook closed and placed it on the nightstand. “Keep at it.” She stood and faced Davian. “My Lord, if you’ll be staying awhile, there are a few matters I should attend to at the castle.”
“Of course.”
To Jade, the vampire said, “I’ll see you tomorrow evening.”
Guilt overcame her. “You don’t have to continue visiting me. I’m taking you away from your work. And I’m much better. I’m sure I can survive on my own now.”
“I’m not here out of obligation,” Sheena said, somewhat indignant. “Friends keep friends company when they’re under the weather.” With that, she swept from the room, always one to make as much of a grand exit as an entrance.
Davian asked, “Do you win over everyone you meet?”
“I don’t know. Ask the fire wraith who pounded me against a granite pew.”
“Ah, yes. Him. I have news.”
Before Davian could sit in the chair Sheena had vacated, Jade asked, “Mind if we move into the living room? I could use a change of scenery.”
“Are you feeling up to it?”
“Definitely.”
She climbed off the bed and he held out the champagne-colored satin robe Sheena had brought days ago to replace her old, ragged one. The robe complemented her nightgown, also new. Of both garments, Jade said, “I’m convinced Sheena is trying to class me up. Perhaps make me fit to be the mistress of a king?”
He frowned. “Mistress, to me, infers there’s something shady between us.”
“There is something shady between us,” she reminded him in a delicate tone. “We have to hide our affair from the villagers and your alliance.”
“Morgan and Sheena know. Jocelyn as well, obviously. And the slayers, I suspect, since they patrol the area and have likely seen my horse.”
“Michael knows too.”
“Well, then. It’s hardly a secret, is it?” He took her hand and led her to the other room.
“It should be, beyond the people who are currently in the know.”
Gently clasping her upper arms, his head bent and he kissed her. Then he said, “I don’t really give a damn who finds out about us.”
“But you ought to.”
He groaned, yet conceded the point. “Yes, I ought to.” He released her and added, “Settle at the table. I brought dinner.”
“Please, no more soup. I can make my own food.”
“I thought you liked the soup,” he called from her kitchen.
“I love the soup. But that’s all I’ve been able to eat, because even chewing has been a chore.”
“You’re in luck,” he told her as he returned. A savory aroma instantly permeated the room, making her stomach growl. On the dining table, he deposited two plates, both piled high with thick slices of glazed ham, mashed potatoes with gravy and stuffing. “A belated Thanksgiving meal, compliments of my chef, who enjoyed studying up on traditional human fare for the occasion. You being such a fan of his broth seems to have made him a fan of you.”
“That’s really very sweet. Please thank him for me.”
“His name is Rafe. And he’ll appreciate the sentiment.”
Davian disappeared for a few seconds and came back with utensils, napkins, a bottle of cabernet sauvignon and two glasses. After arranging everything, he poured the wine.
Sliding into a chair opposite her, he lifted his glass and said, “A toast to the season.”
She smiled as their rims touched. “How funny. I was just asking Sheena earlier if demons recognized holidays.”
“Not so much. But I realized it might be important to you.”
Jade shook her head. “There’s hardly a point to it. Like my birthday, holidays are meant to be shared with family.”
He regarded her curiously. “But your friends are your family, Jade.”
She thought of the multitude of dinner and party offers she’d received over the years for the major holidays. None of which she’d accepted. She’d always preferred to be alone or work at the tavern. It didn’t seem right to celebrate without her parents and what good would it do, anyway?
Except… Davian made a valid argument.
“I suppose I’ve been narrow-minded,” she admitted. “Selfish, even. Perhaps a tiny bit martyr-ish as well.” She picked at her food. It smelled heavenly and looked delicious, but something suddenly weighed heavy on her mind. “I’ve always thought it was easier to ignore any sort of tradition I’d shared with my parents, but the fact is, I’ve only isolated myself further by doing this.”
She paused and inhaled the rich scent of an apple cider, butter and sugar coating on the ham that was mouthwatering, and took in the entire intimate atmosphere of the cottage and Davian sitting at the table with her, enjoying his wine. A long-forgotten sense of belonging, Sheena’s earlier sentiment about her coven, and the feeling of being a part of a family ribboned through Jade.
Tears unexpectedly prickled her eyes. “I have to confess. I’ve made my life miserable.”
“You can’t place all the blame at your feet.”
“My parents’ deaths were tragic, yes. But people die, Davian. Even Michael’s parents have passed. Lisette’s husband. Jinx. Many others I’ve known in my lifetime. And with each death, it seems as though I withdraw a little more into myself.” She found this ironic. “I’m the one who insisted death is part of the human experience. Nothing to obsess over because it’s a natural progression in life. And yet…”
She remembered having the conversation with Davian right here in this room.
“The truth is,” she continued, “it jars me to the core every time it happens to someone I know. So why aren’t I appreciating the time I have with the people I care about?”
“Fear of abandonment, which keeps you somewhat detached?”
A shiver of reckoning ran through her. Jade took a healthy drink from her glass. Then another.
Setting the wine aside, she told Davian, “I’ve shared more of myself with you and Sheena—possibly even Morgan—than I ever have with my two closest human friends. And as for the other villagers… I consider them friends as well, of course. Neighbors I have a genuine concern for, but whom I keep a measure of distance from—emotionally.”
“Because of their mortality?” The conversation seemed to intrigue Davian. He sat forward in his chair, his gaze unwavering.
“But I’m mortal too,” she commented. “And I accept death as part of life.”
“Perhaps too much,” he simply said.
Jade reached for her wine again. The alcohol eased the remainder of the pain she felt along her back, which she was careful to keep from making contact with the wooden chair.
When she didn’t speak, Davian said, “Maybe one of the reasons you’ve allowed the connection to form between Sheena, Morgan and myself is because you know you won’t outlive us.”
She stared at him, speechless.
“You could have settled for Michael, even if he didn’t fully own your heart,” Davian contended. “You could have married him and had children. But you told me you want more than amiable companionship.”
Finally, she found her voice. “Yes. I want all the passion I feel with you.”
“And you want someone who’s at least as strong as you. Because, let’s face it, Jade, as we’ve established before, you are not ordinary. You can’t spend your life with someone who is.”
“That doesn’t diminish how I feel about people like Lisette and Michael.”
“No. But you keep them at arm’s length. For a reason.”
“They wouldn’t understand me, if they knew everything about me. In fact, if Michael had any idea the things I’m capable of…” She rolled her eyes. “It’d send him over the edge. He’d think for sure I’d been practicing witchcraft with Lisette on the sly.”
“And when it comes to her, you’re all too aware of her age. And her increasingly limited life span.”
“The village will be a much bleaker place witho
ut her, that’s for sure.” She brushed away the tears that crested the rims of her eyes and slid down her flushed cheeks. After polishing off her wine, she asked, “Why are we even talking about this? It’s very depressing. I’m starving and our dinner is getting cold.”
“And you really can’t afford to lose any more weight. There’s not much to you these days.”
She hadn’t worn anything other than the nightgowns and robes Sheena had brought her, since the satin was cool and soft against her back. The bleeding had stopped and she didn’t need the lightweight bandages any longer, just the aloe twice a day. She suspected her regular clothes would hang on her at this point.
Jade sliced her pieces of ham as Davian refreshed her glass. When she sampled the stuffing, she nodded enthusiastically. “Mm, apples and cranberries. Nice touch. I wouldn’t have thought to add them.” She was a basic cook, never crafting anything too fancy.
The meal was the best she’d had since the last one her mother had made. Jade was so thrilled with the food and so ravenous that she devoured everything without uttering another word.
In the dark corners of her mind, however, she realized she was avoiding a key point she’d someday have to address. A compelling notion Davian had brought to light. But she wasn’t ready for the mental debate. She’d had a horrific few weeks following the fire wraith’s assault. No doubt one of the reasons she’d been so interested in Algebra lessons from Sheena was because the complex equations engaged her brain and kept her thoughts from other impossible-to-solve problems.
Following dinner, they cleaned the dishes and finished the bottle of wine. Davian sprawled partially on the sofa—since he was much too big for it—and she stretched on top of him. His hands rested on her hips, because he was wary of touching her bare skin.
She said, “I’m almost fully healed.” She didn’t want him fearing he’d hurt her. And, in all honesty, she wanted him to touch her. Everywhere.
“Did you glean anything new from this experience?” he asked.
