Freed: (Phoebe Meadows Book 2)

by Carlson, Amanda

  Hope sparked. “And what exactly is the afterlife? Does a god truly die? Baldur talked about making jokes and not being alone. What does that mean?”

  Tyr shrugged. So not the response I was hoping for. “I know not, sister. Very few have ever traveled to Helheim. And those who have ventured there have never come back to tell the tale. It’s not a place one goes willingly nor takes lightly. It is said that if you go there as a living, breathing soul, you have chosen to forfeit your life. No one would readily take that chance.”

  I turned my gaze on Fen. “You told me that your sister, Hel, rules the underworld. Is that true?”

  Fen nodded. “Yes, but I have not seen her since we were small children. It is her destiny to reign over Helheim, just as it was for my brother to occupy the seas and for me to be banished.”

  I brought my hands up to my head.

  Grief pounded so hard I could barely see. I couldn’t think. This was all so confusing and foreign. If you died and went to a different realm, were you really dead?

  Someone slid a hand around my waist, taking charge. It was Sam. “Come with me,” she murmured. To the others, she said, “We Midgardians are going to go back to our bunks and take a small time-out. Not sure if you know what that is, but it’s like a mini break, sometimes taken in the corner if you’re naughty. How you guys do things around here is a little freaky. So don’t mind us, we’ll just be out back trying to wrap our heads around the fact you guys have an actual afterlife, but it’s called Helheim rather than Heavenheim. And if that’s not crazy enough, the person who runs things happens to be the sister of my friend’s boyfriend.” She tugged me away, muttering, “I mean, hasn’t the afterlife always been heaven? If there is any justice in the world, the god of light should go to a place with fluffy clouds, golden gates, and angels holding harps wearing halos making beautiful music. Not Helheim, which sounds like it’s covered in pitchforks and flames.” She patted my back as we walked, like she was soothing a colicky newborn, and I was grateful. This was exactly what I needed right now.

  No one else in this entire stronghold understood what I was feeling except for Sam, not even my mother.

  Once we rounded the corner and were out of sight, I stopped and embraced my friend. I had missed her. “Thank you so much for getting me out of there. I owe you. My brain is so scattered, it’s hard to know which way is up.” My heart was also incredibly sore, still trying to process the loss of a brother I would never get to know.

  “I’d love to take all the credit, but a little birdie told me I should bring you back here as soon I had the chance. Actually, it was a large, spooky raven who shot words into my brain with his telepathy. But you catch my drift.” She hugged me back fiercely, her blonde curls bouncing. She looked no worse for the wear after her adventure in Svartalfheim. “I’m always going to be here for you, Phoebe. Never doubt that for a New York minute. We have to stick together. I mean, we’re living our lives out of the pages of a comic book—which is cool, so don’t get me wrong—but most days I can’t believe this really exists. I wake up every morning pinching myself.” She made a show of examining me, brushing some dirt off my breastplate and fixing an errant strand of hair. “Your time in Svartalfheim must have been tough. You have a harder look around your eyes.” She motioned around my face. “And your smile doesn’t quite go up as far at the ends like it used to.” She brushed her thumbs over my cheeks. “I’m sad to see your innocence fading, but what’s in its place is good. It will help you survive this new crazy world we’ve been tossed into.” She grabbed my elbow and steered me forward. “I need you to keep getting stronger.”

  I blew out a breath. “I feel different, like I finally woke up from a long dream. Being a Valkyrie should seem more foreign to me, but it doesn’t. Instead, it feels like I’m finally living in the right skin, if that makes any sense. But the problem is, I don’t think like a Valkyrie. I think like a human. I’m worried that the way I react to everything is going to be human forever, and I won’t be able to adapt. The grief I feel for my half brother is pressing down on me so hard.” I rubbed my chest. The pain was manifesting itself as physical, and the muscles in my chest ached. “Everyone else seems to be taking his passing well, and I don’t get it. And just like you said, if Baldur is going to the afterlife in Helheim, one of the seven realms, is he really dead?”

  Holding on to that was the only thing keeping me upright at the moment.

  “I have no idea,” Sam mused. “If we had an afterlife on Midgard, nobody would fear death. He made it sound like there was a whole bunch of people down there. What’s that supposed to mean?”

  We were almost to our living quarters.

  I was beyond fatigued, even though Yggdrasil had just given me an infusion of energy. The tree of life couldn’t fix what was wrong with my emotional well-being. I could also use a shower.

  “You got me,” I told my friend. “What I do know is, we will be figuring it out soon, and it won’t be pretty. Everything I’ve heard about Frigg is terrifying. And you heard the Norns. My punishment will be harsh. Everyone is going to blame me for Baldur’s death.”

  “You shouldn’t be punished for anything! It pisses me off,” Sam declared. “How much can a mother really love her son if she pays to keep him in jail for years on end? That’s not love! That’s selling your child into slavery, except instead of working for half a penny a day in some dark, dank factory, he just sits in a cell all day. Back home, if a mother on Midgard did that, she’d get life in prison!”

  I loved the way Sam’s mind worked. She was one of a kind.

  As we walked up the short hill to our rooms, a shadow dotted the sky above us.

  A telltale call came floating down.

  CAW-CAW. CAW-CAW.

  29

  __________________________

  ____________

  I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk to the raven. After all, it was the bird who’d sent me through the portal in the first place. But I didn’t really have a choice in the matter. I had to admit I was curious about what Huggie had to say. I prayed he was bringing me some hope in this gloomy, depressing situation.

  Giving Sam a quick hug, I headed to my room, unstrapping Gundren from my back as I went. Once inside, I hung it on the edge of the headboard, wanting to keep it close. Then I took off my armbands and breastplate, resting them on a few hooks Fen had fashioned on the wall.

  The bed was soft and inviting, a respite from all the crazy that had happened. I sat down with my back against the wall, closing my eyes. I didn’t have much time to relax as Huggie settled himself on the perch of my one window in the next moment, which was actually just a cutout in the limestone.

  I opened one eye.

  The bird took up the entire space.

  I laced my hands behind my head and waited. When Huggie didn’t speak first, I asked, “Did you know Baldur was going to die when you sent me to Svartalfheim? And, if so, it would’ve been nice if you had warned me.”

  The bird squawked, readjusting himself before his words filtered softly into my mind. I did not know, but I would’ve sent you all the same. The time was ripe and the objective was to free your mother, which was a success. You mustn’t discount the mission. Your mother was held captive for over twenty-four years. It is a shame that the god of light lost his life during these events, but his fate had been decided long before this. He would’ve lost it whether he was with you or not. His time had come.

  Even though grief pounded at the forefront of my mind, I knew the raven was speaking the truth. I went to the land of the dark elves to save my mother. The mission was successful. I was looking forward to getting to know her, but I needed time to grieve the loss of Baldur.

  “Are you here to give me a pep talk about my fated destiny? Because I’m not sure I want to know what’s in store for me. Verdandi told me I’m going to face harsh punishment, and I believe she’s right—or at least partially correct. Honestly, from the things I’ve learned already, gods and goddesses don’t mess
around. They punish people severely at the slightest provocation.” I scrubbed my hands over my face. “So unless you have good news, maybe now’s not the best time to have a chat.”

  I am not a seer. I’m an observer who gathers and delivers information. I did not take into account that you would run into your brother, although I was aware he was being held there. I do not fault you for setting him free. Many would do the same. I am here to let you know that the Council has convened. The goddess Frigg is inconsolable about the death of her son. They will be calling for you soon. The Norns have already sent word, backed up by Invaldi, that you have committed the crime of entering a realm without permission and were the one to free Baldur from his cell. Odin had been gathering support for your cause, explaining why he needed to keep the secret all these years, and had been successful. With the news of Baldur’s death, some are still on his side, but others have turned away. Frigg is much loved, and her grief is vast.

  “Tell me something I don’t know.” My voice was strained. “They will summon me to Asgard, and when I get there, I have no defense. The only thing I can say for a certainty is that I wasn’t the one to throw the dart that ended Baldur’s life. What are my chances of getting out of this with a light sentence? Are there any?” I pleaded with the huge, silky feathered raven sitting on my ledge. “I need some good news.”

  The chances are extremely small of a sentence without some form of punishment. It is the way of Asgard to mete out penalties for wrongdoing. But most of these are given to gods and goddesses, and even if the length of time is vast, they are immortal, so it does not matter in the end. It is a rarity for a shieldmaiden to be punished on the same level as a god.

  Great. But technically I was a demigod. “Will they take into effect that I was just turned? And don’t know their ways? Or doesn’t that matter?” Worrying about my sentence was futile, because there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening. Even if all the Valkyries were behind me, we wouldn’t win.

  They will take everything into account, but Frigg will have the last word. Since you are responsible for freeing her son, she will not be kind.

  “Ugh.” I wrapped my arms over my eyes, trying to block everything out. Sleep would be welcome right now. “In Svartalfheim, my mother seemed wary of Frigg,” I told the bird, my eyes still shut. “I’m not expecting the sentencing to go well. I know she will be harsh. What I don’t understand is how Odin and his wives and my mother all fit into the equation. I imagine it’s messy and complicated. There have to be hurt feelings all around.”

  In Asgard, they do things much differently. Our marriage vows are not sacred and unbreakable. Your mother did not intrude on Frigg’s relationship with Odin. You need not worry about that. But Frigg herself is another matter. She will seek retribution for her son. But I have other news to share that may help your cause .

  Huggie’s cadence had changed, his tone urgent. I lifted my arms, tilting my head up, giving the bird a look. “So let’s hear it.” There was more hope in my voice than I cared to admit.

  Each god and goddess has their own prophecies, their own fates, their own destinies set out since birth, all of which lead to Ragnarok, the fated battle. Most of the gods and goddesses are told what their fate will be from an early age, and there is little escaping it. Some learn it later in life. Baldur’s destiny was proclaimed as a teenager. His mother knew he was fated to die, but she chose to believe she could overcome it. To evade his destiny, she elicited promises in the name of her son.

  “Yeah, I heard about that. But, honestly, I don’t get it. Shocking, I know. I can’t wrap my brain around how she went about procuring these promises, but she forgot mistletoe? Is that the reason it worked?” Seriously, it was befuddling.

  Frigg exacted promises not to harm her son from every living thing she thought capable in each of the realms, but not from things she thought incapable. Gods and goddesses each have special skills. Frigg can commune with nature. The dart Verdandi threw was made of mistletoe wrapped in a witch’s spell. It is not without its irony that the Norn chose mistletoe. Not long ago, Loki asked Frigg if she exacted a promise from mistletoe specifically. She admitted she had not. It is a double insult that it was this that killed Baldur.

  I pounded my fists on the sheets in frustration.

  Of course Verdandi would add insult to injury. She wanted this to hurt as much as possible.

  “Sam’s right,” I said. “It’s like we’re living in a comic book or some sort of fairy tale. Even though Frigg went to those lengths and still couldn’t save her son from his fate.” I left out the fact that he would still be alive, at least for a while, if I hadn’t intervened. “Huggie, please, please tell me there’s a way to bring him back.” I leaned up on an elbow, my expression imploring.

  There might be. Baldur’s fate is complex. Some destinies are simple, and some are woven throughout the fabric of space and time. The god of light is the polar opposite of what resides in Helheim. It is prophesied that once he arrives, Hel will make him her favorite. Honestly, that made sense, because even people in Helheim couldn’t help but love Baldur. It is also said that Hel might agree to set him free if some conditions are met.

  I scrambled up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. “Now you’re talking. What conditions?” My heart raced as hope zipped through me. If there was a possibility I could get my brother back, I would do whatever it took.

  It is not clear, as there are different interpretations .

  “Yes, yes, but tell me what you know,” I urged. The thought of seeing Baldur again gave me great joy.

  No matter what the conditions are, you would have to barter directly with Hel for his release .

  That took a moment to sink in. “You mean actually visit Helheim and strike a deal with her?” Tyr’s words ran through my head about living people never coming home. “Or can I do it through some kind of talking device the Valkyries use to call Asgard?”

  You would have to journey there, but… Huggie stopped short.

  “But what?” I asked, my tone impatient. Just get on with it, bird.

  Frigg is likely going to exile you there anyway.

  I slumped back against the bed. So that’s what Verdandi had been hinting at. “Tit for tat,” I said miserably. “I sent her son there, so she sends me.”

  The difference will be you enter the realm alive, where most enter dead. That is the only facet Odin will be able to influence her on. But there is still a chance for you to gain an advantage. Before the sentence is final, you must convince her that you may be able to free her son.

  “How am I going to do that? You said you didn’t know the conditions it would take to free Baldur.”

  In the morning you will meet with the wolf, your brother, your mother, and your aunt. Your mother will know all the tales of Baldur’s prophecy. She will be able to guide you through the negotiation, but she must not accompany you to Helheim, as Hel is a bitter rival. Huggie paused for a moment, and I thought he’d stopped again. But then he finished with, There is only one who can accompany you on your journey.

  Fen.

  “You’re talking about the wolf, right?” I asked. “That makes sense, because it’s his sister who resides there.” The thought of having Fen by my side struck fear and relief in me simultaneously.

  Precisely. He may be the only one who will be able to give you an advantage. But Frigg won’t grant that request. She will both want you to succeed and want you to fail, her pride and grief warring. It is Odin who will send the wolf into exile. This must happen first. Odin will condemn the wolf and declare the banishment a place of his choosing, but he will not announce it before Frigg passes down her own judgment. It is the only way the wolf can accompany you. In order for this to happen, he must accompany you to Asgard.

  There was no way Fen would let me go alone, especially not after what just happened in Svartalfheim. I narrowed my eyes at the giant bird perched on my sill. “How in the world did you and my father cook up this plan so quickly
? Baldur just died moments ago. This sounds like a fairly complicated plan.”

  Odin has many skills, some of which I do not understand, even after all these years together. He has known for some time that this might be the end result. He is always well prepared, his mind continuously working. And he knows what lies in Frigg’s heart. You must not forget that Baldur was Odin’s child, too. The god of light is a favorite of the realm, and he will be mourned by thousands. Odin will do much to get him back, and he feels you can accomplish this .

  I was stunned. “Me? Why does he think I can do anything? We’ve never even met. Without the help of others, I couldn’t have freed my mother from Svartalfheim.”

  Odin sees all. You are a child of his flesh. If you are successful in this mission, you will have succeeded in defeating the Norns, and you will be welcomed back to Asgard as a hero . Your life will begin on its true path, as it is supposed to.

  “What about Fen? He will be exiled to Helheim, but if we save Baldur’s life, will he be exonerated?” I bit my lip while I waited to hear this important piece of information.

  This is unknown .

  “What do you mean it’s unknown ? You just told me Odin knows all.” Anger roiled in my chest, as it always did when I felt Fen was treated unfairly. I watched my hands as they began to glow. I brought them up in front of my face, fascinated. I was going to have to work on controlling that.

  You will have much to bargain for .

  I dropped my hands in my lap. “I’m not understanding your angle. You’re going to have to spell it out for me. I didn’t think I was in a position to bargain. I’m going to Asgard to basically be tried in court, right?”

  You will be present when Odin passes his judgment on the wolf, which will come before your hearing. He will ask if any will stand as a character witness to the accused. The last time Fenrir was tried, none stood for him. This time there will be more than one who will.