Connor looked down at his feet, which were bare, because he wasn’t much for clothes. He didn’t really feel temperatures like hot and cold, being living stone and all. “Um, hey, I don’t know if I ever really said it. Like, out loud or whatever? But, uh, about what happened back in September with my family? I forgive you for all that.”
All of the air went out of me in a whoosh. When I could breathe again, I said, “You what?”
He smiled. “Bygones, Penny. I don’t hold anything against you anymore.”
Tears sprang to my eyes. “Oh, God, Connor, you know that I am so sorry for abandoning you like that, don’t you?”
“Let’s not talk about it,” he said. “It’s over.”
I held out my arms. “Hug?”
He hugged me.
Inside my belly, the little guy started to move, kicking and flailing so much that Connor actually stepped back.
“Whoa,” he said. “That’s crazy how much he’s moving.”
“It looks like an alien, doesn’t it?” said Lachlan.
I shoved him. “Lachlan!”
“It does, though,” said Connor. “You can see it, like, through your shirt.”
I giggled, putting both of my hands on my belly. “Shh, little guy,” I whispered.
“Hey, I want you to know that I’m here,” said Connor. “Anything you need. Help with the baby, help with moving cribs, hell, you want me there when you’re in labor, I’m there.”
“Seriously?” I said. “I thought you… I mean, I wasn’t trying to be distant, I was only trying to give you space.”
“I know,” he said.
“Thanks, Connor,” I said.
“So, you want to move a crib?” he said.
I shook my head. “I like the crib in the living room.”
* * *
Back in our suite, Lachlan was gripping the edge of the crib in the living room.
I yawned. “I guess I’ll go watch some TV.”
“Penny, maybe we should talk about this,” he said without looking at me.
“Talk about moving the crib?” I said. “Look, he’s going to need a room eventually, but right now, that’s your room, and, um, after I’m not huge, I’m sure we’ll start sleeping in the same bed again, so…”
He still wasn’t looking at me. “We both know the reason I’m in the guest room has nothing to do with my not fitting on that bed.”
I was quiet.
He reached down and plucked up a plush blue dolphin that someone had bought me, probably because of my hotel and all, even though my hotel was the Purple Dolphin. I guessed purple wasn’t a good color for boys, though. Lachlan turned the dolphin over in his hands. “I want the baby to have a room to come home to. And he could be coming any time now, so I think maybe it’s time we face this.”
“You’re not even facing me,” I said.
He turned, still holding the stuffed dolphin.
I gazed at him, and he was beautiful. He was so handsome that he took my breath away, and he and I had been through so much together. We were connected on levels that went deeper than anything I had imagined. But somehow, I felt completely detached from him now. “Maybe we could get a bigger bed,” I said in a tiny voice.
He considered. “Well, that might not be a bad idea. Because, I know you’re all dead set on that co-sleeper, but I’m telling you, that baby has been snuggled up inside you for nine months, and he’s not going to take well to the idea of sleeping anywhere except as close to you as he can get. So, odds are he ends up in bed with us.”
“That’s dangerous,” I said.
“So’s never getting any sleep because you’re constantly trying to put a baby down in a cold little co-sleeper,” he said.
“Lachlan—”
He raised both hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. I don’t want to have this discussion again.”
We’d gone round and round about it before a few times. It could be maddening trying to talk to him. He acted like he was a baby expert because he’d, you know, had one. But having a child didn’t mean he knew everything there was to know about infants. I wanted to do this the right way, and bed sharing was dangerous. Everyone said so.
“The bigger bed really isn’t going to solve the problem. The truth is, we’re afraid to touch each other.”
The words hung in the air between us for a minute. I couldn’t believe he’d actually said it aloud. I thought we were both working under a mutual understanding that talking about it would make it worse, and that if we both remained in denial about it, it would be bearable.
But now, it was out there. Clear. Black and white.
I started to cry.
“Penny,” he whispered. He took a step toward me. Stopped. Squeezed the stuffed animal.
“I miss you,” I said.
He bit down on his bottom lip. And then he closed the distance between us and pulled me into his arms.
Where I didn’t really fit, because I was enormous. But his shoulders were still broad, and so I fit between them. So I bent over, resting my face and upper body against his chest, and my belly pushed my butt and legs further back. His arms tightened around my back, and he rested his chin on the top of my head.
It felt nice, being close like this. I wrapped my arms around him, and I clung to him. He was warm and solid and mine. I kept crying, but these tears were more tears of release, of a hole inside me being filled.
We stayed like that for a while.
“Maybe it would be okay,” I mumbled into his chest.
“I can’t hear you,” he said softly, but I could hear his voice reverberating through his rib cage.
I pulled back and looked up at him. “This is nice.”
He smiled, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Yeah, it is.”
“And I wasn’t even thinking about you drinking my blood. Were you thinking about my blood?”
He swallowed.
“Oh,” I said.
“But I’m not doing anything about it,” he said. “It’s not a problem. I can’t help but think of drinking your blood when I’m close to you.”
“Oh,” I said, sighing. And now I was thinking about it too. I was thinking about the way it always made me feel so connected to him, how it made me feel like we were swirling through the stars, entwined with the spokes of the universe.
His voice grew hoarse. “I love the way you taste. It’s the most amazing thing in the world. Nothing is better than drinking your blood.”
I shut my eyes.
He twined some of my hair around one of his fingers. “But we know it’s bad to do that, because of the blood bond. We don’t want to become… what we became.”
“No,” I said. “Never again.”
“So,” he said. “I won’t drink your blood.”
“Of course not,” I said. And then I kissed him. I pulled his head down, and I pressed my lips against his.
His lips were soft and warm, and they parted against mine. His tongue darted out to dance with mine.
I gasped against his mouth, and I deepened the kiss.
He threaded both of his hands into my hair, trapping my head so that he could claim my mouth.
We kissed like we were dying and the other’s mouth was our only hope of being saved.
Heat went through me like a wildfire, igniting me somewhere deep inside. I felt as if my body was waking up, and all it wanted was Lachlan. More Lachlan. All of Lachlan.
His lips moved away from mine, trailing a hot path of kisses down my jaw.
It felt amazing. I sighed.
He sucked my earlobe into his mouth.
I moaned.
He kissed my neck.
I clung to him, breathing hard, thrills going through me.
He licked my neck.
It was like fireworks were exploding between my eyes. I was growing hot and heavy all over.
His teeth—smooth and cool against my skin.
“Please,” I whispered.
“We can’t,” he said.
“Lachlan,” I breathed. “Do it.”
He was shaking. “Fuck,” he muttered against my neck. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
And then there was a sharp point of pain, his teeth breaking my skin. And then…
Bliss.
I was aware of everything else in the world, but it was all muted, and Lachlan and I were the only things in color. We were so, so close, and I could see our love wrapping around us in pinks and reds and purples, like the sunset, like a blanket of goodness.
I could see the baby inside me, see his tiny toes and fingers, feel his love coming for both of us as well, and it was bright—almost fluorescent—and so powerful, so boundless—
Lachlan yanked himself away from me. He stumbled backwards, colliding with the arm of one of the chairs. He went down on his backside and let out a grunt.
“Lachlan!” I reached out for him, to help him up.
He held up hands to ward me off. “Stay back,” he growled.
I halted. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I put them on my belly, thinking of how wonderful it had been to feel the baby again, and wondering how something that seemed so sweet and good could possibly be the path to such evil. I guessed that was always the way, though, wasn’t it? Still, it didn’t seem fair.
Lachlan put his head in his hands. “I can’t control myself with you,” he muttered. “I never wanted anything the way I want you.”
I knelt down next to him, put a tentative hand on his shoulder. “Hey, look it’s okay.”
He shoved me off. “It’s not okay.”
Now that I was kneeling, I realized that it had been a really stupid idea. There was no way I was getting back up again. I slowly settled myself onto the floor, huffing.
Lachlan looked over at me and started to laugh.
“What?” I said.
“Nothing,” he said, trying to stop laughing but failing.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Hey, it’s not cool to laugh at your pregnant girlfriend. Not at all.”
“Sorry,” he said. “It’s only, in this situation, at this moment, I think I need a tension release, and…” He dissolved in laughter.
I crawled over to the couch and hauled myself up on it. I watched Lachlan roll around on the floor laughing for far too long.
When he stopped, he had tears in his eyes.
We were quiet again as we surveyed each other.
He got to his feet. “I think I’m going to go out for a drive. Clear my head.”
“Okay,” I said quietly.
“Okay.” He nodded. He turned toward the door.
“Lachlan.”
He looked back.
“I didn’t feel the bond when we did that. All I felt was love. All I felt was the baby.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he said.
I sighed. He was right.
“Don’t wait up,” he said, shrugging into his coat.
* * *
“Wait, I thought you said you weren’t going to let him drink your blood!” said Felicity’s voice on the phone, horrified.
“I didn’t mean to,” I said. I was sitting on the couch, curled up in my pajamas, my phone to my ear. I needed my best friend right then. “It was just… we were there, and he was close, and it happened.”
“Oh my God, Penny,” she said. “That’s not good.”
“I know.”
“So… how do you feel?” she said. “Are you having any murderous rages?”
I scoffed. “No.”
“I have to ask, you know.”
“That’s not how it works. Those vampires and drakes we killed when we had the bond, we weren’t angry with them. It was more as if we simply didn’t care if they lived or died. As if their lives were meaningless to us.”
She was quiet for a moment. “Okay, that’s not better. I think that’s worse.”
“Yeah,” I said.
“So, are you feeling that way?”
“No, not at all. I feel entirely like myself.”
“Except last time you felt like yourself too. You thought it was a brilliant idea to go undercover when you were four months pregnant.”
“Shut up,” I mumbled.
“Just saying.”
“Yeah, well, there were lots of times that Lachlan drank my blood and nothing bad happened.”
“It was all building up, though,” said Felicity. “The more you did it, the stronger the bond got. Until it took you both over.”
“I guess,” I sighed. “Still, I feel like there should be some amount of blood sharing that we could do. Because it sucks not ever getting to touch each other.”
“Not ever?” said Felicity.
“Well, sometimes we touch. But only for a couple of seconds. And the minute we do, it’s like all either of us can think about is doing it. It’s not fair. I want to sleep in the same bed again.”
“I thought you kicked him out of the bed because you wanted to sprawl out.”
“I could have bought a king-sized bed.”
“Wow.” Her voice was quiet. “So, that’s the real reason he’s in the guest room?”
“That’s the real reason.”
“Damn.”
Neither of us said anything.
Felicity spoke up again. “Have you, um, thought about talking to Ophelia?”
“Ophelia? Why would I talk to her?” I said. Ophelia was a mage. She owned the Pink Flamingo, and I considered her a friend.
“I don’t know. Maybe she could make a talisman that would blunt Lachlan’s blood lust.”
“What about my lust to be blooded?”
She snickered. “Blooded?”
“Had my blood drunken,” I said.
She giggled. “Drunken?”
“Drank?” I said. “What’s the right word?”
“Drunk,” she said.
“Oh, right.” I giggled too. “Drunk. Why couldn’t I remember that? Does that ever happen to you? Where you forget things you should know?”
“Happens to everyone.”
“I think it’s worse with me right now because I’m pregnant. Ugh.” I rubbed my belly. “I’m so, so pregnant.”
“Won’t be much longer,” said Felicity.
“Hey,” I said, sitting up straight, or doing it as best I could with my belly in the way. “What was up with you and that guy? Scott? Did you go out for a drink with him?”
“Oh, I did,” she said.
“And?”
“And I told him about Jensen,” she said. “And we talked about old times, and then we went home.”
“How did he react when he found out about Jensen?”
“He was happy for me.”
“Really?”
She sighed. “I don’t know. He said he was.”
“What’s up with you and this Scott guy anyway?”
“Nothing.”
“But something used to be up.”
“Sort of, kind of, but not really.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Okay, well, he worked for your grandparents, like I did, right? And we used to talk. Maybe we sort of flirted. He might have been interested back then, but I had no self-confidence, because I’d turned into a drake, and I thought I was ugly, and I couldn’t really believe that he was into me, so I never realized it, I don’t think. It was only later, looking back, that I thought that he might have been into me a little.”
“So, sort of, kind of, but not really,” I said, laughing.
“Exactly.” I could hear the smile in her voice.
“And now? You’re tempted by him?”
“No,” she said, but maybe she said it a little too fast.
“Is everything okay with you and Jensen?”
“Totally okay,” she said, but again, it was too quick.
“What’s going on?” I said.
“Nothing.”
“Felicity, come on.”
“We may have been… arguing a little more than we used to. And it’s… Jensen is so….”
“Stable.”
“And that’s bad?”
“No, it’s good. It’s really good. He’s the kind of guy I want to settle down with. I love him.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
“There’s no problem.”
“What are you arguing about?”
“Stupid stuff. Money and dishes and keeping the apartment clean and domestic things. Nothing important. But I guess… sometimes I wonder if I’m ready to settle down. Scott reminds me that I was young once. And when I was young, I didn’t really go nuts. I got that laced brownie at one party, turned into a drake, and that was that. I was a straight arrow after that. Sometimes I wonder if maybe it’s time to shake things up a little bit. Let loose.”
“There’s nothing wrong with letting loose.”
“Jensen’s not into it. He’d rather be at home in bed with a book than out painting the town red.”
“And you think Scott might be a little more adventurous?”
“I don’t know. I wouldn’t think so, right? I mean, he’s human, so he’s practically middle-aged by now—”
“Humans our age aren’t middle aged,” I said. “Are they?”
“Well, in ten or fifteen years they will be,” she said. “All I’m saying is that he isn’t young anymore either.” She sighed. “I probably missed my window.”
“Don’t say that. Maybe if you talked to Jensen about how you feel—”
“I try. And it turns into an argument.”
“Well,” I said, “when I was complaining about how much Lachlan and I argued, you said you wished there was more passion in your relationship with Jensen, so maybe you got your wish.”
“What? That’s a horrible thing to say! I didn’t bring this down on myself.”
“No, I didn’t mean it that way,” I said. “And the good news is that Lachlan and I don’t argue anymore.”
“You also don’t sleep in the same bed.”
“Ouch,” I said. “Low blow.”
“I guess that means you aren’t doing it either.”
“I’m the size of New York State here,” I said.
“Yeah,” she said. “Sorry.”
“Although the birthing lady did say at the class that having sex can bring on labor.”
“Really?”
“Yup. Apparently, if I want this baby out of here, I’m supposed to make Lachlan jump my bones.”
Fire Born (City of Dragons Book 5) Page 6
