The agonized yell bounced off the windows and straight back at him.
Resting his head on the wheel, he could barely contain the emotions raging through him. They swirled around his body like a deadly tornado, hitting him with debris that bruised and wounded.
“I need a drink,” he finally muttered. “I need a fucking drink.”
Screaming away from the curb, he double-timed it to Shorty’s Tavern, where he spent the rest of his day and night huddled in a corner booth, nursing a bottle of Jack Daniel’s.
21
Thursday, May 24th
5:45pm
Tap-tap-tap.
Tap-tap-tap.
Nate’s pen was close to breaking as he tapped it on the desk, frustration making it move faster and faster.
“If you don’t stop doing that, I’m going to smack you in the back of the head,” Cam clipped.
A paper missile followed, and Nate flinched as it hit the back of his head.
With a huff, he slumped his shoulders. “Can’t find this guy. Vern Schnyder has disappeared off the face of the fucking earth!”
“So let it go! Move on, already. We’ve got other things to keep us busy. Like this drug case I’m working solo.”
He glanced over his shoulder and caught the tail end of her pointed look.
“You don’t need me for that,” he softly muttered, thinking immediately of Sally and her argument about how the AFPD had two detectives for a reason.
“You want in on this one, man. I promise you.” Cam grinned. “If my source is right and surveillance checks out tomorrow, Kellan’s going to authorize a big bust this weekend.”
Pain seared the center of his chest as Sally continued to float through his mind—the feel of her blonde hair brushing against his chest as she fell asleep in his arms, the soft murmurs she made when she woke up, the sweet smile she gifted him whenever he appeared.
He rubbed at the ache and tried to push Sally from his mind. Missing her was torture, and picturing her with Oscar basically annihilated him, which was why he’d spent the last couple of days in a mildly drunken stupor. He was still hungover from his binge from the night before. His father had come home to find him passed out on the sofa, then forced some kind of hangover cocktail that tasted like cow piss down his throat that morning.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re going through right now, but you are not turning into a drunken bum. You hear me? Get back to work and deal with your pain more constructively. Or better yet, talk to me about it so I can at least try to help you! Or even better still…go talk to Sally!”
Nate had clenched his jaw and turned away from his father, who huffed in frustration and stomped out of the room.
The old man had been right about one thing, though.
Liquor wouldn’t fix Nate’s heartache, which was why he’d hauled his ass into work and tried to focus back on the Schnyder case.
But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get the words “Go talk to Sally” out of his brain. In his weakest moments over the past few days, he’d contemplated showing up at her door and begging her to dump Oscar and take him back.
But how could he?
He wasn’t about to give up work to keep her happy. He had a job to do. He had injustice to fight. People deserved closure.
Oscar didn’t have to worry about any of that shit. He could give Sally everything she wanted. Everything she deserved.
Nate was a good detective. It was basically the only thing he was good at, and he needed to focus on that.
It may have happened twelve years ago, but Mila Schnyder’s killer had to be held accountable for her death. Nate wouldn’t rest again until he’d solved the case.
Talking with Oscar had yielded nothing. His additional conversation with Ms. Parker had been a total waste of time too. Her mercurial brain couldn’t be trusted. He’d gone to visit her a few hours earlier and she’d had absolutely no recollection of talking to Oscar at Lulu’s Coffee Shop. When Nate brought up the blue pickup truck, she simply repeated the information she’d told Oscar at the café, basically word for word. Nate had to wonder if it was simply a dream or teenage fantasy she’d once had. A handsome man secretly meeting up with his true love and running away together. It was kind of romantic. But totally unhelpful in tracking down Mila’s killer.
So Nate was throwing all his energy into his hunt for Vern.
They’d managed to subpoena Vern’s bank records and tax returns. Jessica was wading through them, looking for anything that might trigger his whereabouts. The guy seemed to have gone off-grid after being accused of molesting his daughter.
Driver’s license databases had come up short. None of the Vern Schnyder hits they got were a match.
It’d been three weeks since talking to Glenn Marshall, and then interviewing everyone in Aspen Falls who knew the Schnyder family. No one had any idea where Vern went. All they could talk about was how sad it all was—Mila running away and then the awful rumors.
“I never would’ve thought that about Vern Schnyder. He seemed like such a loving, family man.” Almost everyone said that, which only made Nate’s suspicions that much stronger.
The rumors were a big fat lie, and someone had spread them to cast suspicion on Vern so they could sneak away into the shadows. Nate had a theory that the killer had gotten the rumor going. And that only strengthened his gut feeling that the killer was the mysterious boyfriend, Jamie.
Standing up, he was about to find Jessica and ask for yet another update when he was stopped by Blaine, who barred the doorway.
“Hey, man.”
“What’s up?” Nate looked down, hoping his brother wasn’t about to announce some irritating family dinner.
He was tired, and didn’t mind the idea of heading home on time for once, but not if it meant having to hang out with his father and the two lovebirds.
“Where the hell have you been the last few days? I’ve been trying to catch you.”
Nate hitched his shoulders. “You could have called me.”
Blaine crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing in on his brother. “I kind of wanted to chat face-to-face.”
“Well, you know where I’m living right now, so…” Nate flicked his arms up.
“When I stopped by last night, you were passed out on the sofa, you dumbass. Dad made me carry you up to your bed. You weigh a frickin’ ton, by the way.”
Nate flipped him off and Blaine couldn’t resist a grin, which in turn made Nate’s lips twitch.
“So, what do you want to see me about, little bro?”
“I had to go to the hospital earlier this week. Arrested a guy for reckless driving. Idiot mowed down two cars.”
Nate grimaced, images of his mother’s body flying through the area froze him for a second. He swallowed and tried to find his voice. “Any fatalities?”
“No, but one guy has a long road to recovery ahead of him.”
“Ouch,” Nate muttered as he buried memories of his mother’s indented skull. Clearing his throat, he glanced back up, his gut twisting at the look on Blaine’s face. He suddenly knew what his brother was going to say before the words even left his mouth.
“I saw Sal.”
Nate’s bones turned to rubber. Locking his jaw, he glanced over his shoulder and noticed Cam get up to leave the room. He should’ve told her to stay…because then his irritating brother wouldn’t have the chance to get into a deep and meaningful conversation.
Part of him wanted to shrug and say, “So?” But he couldn’t be that callous, because he was actually desperate for news. He’d only heard Oscar’s side of the story, and a small, hopeful part wondered how truthful the guy had been. Had he embellished how good things were because he saw Nate as a potential threat?
Clearing his throat, he tried—and failed—to sound casual. “How is she?”
“Good. She says she’s keeping busy with work and family.”
Nate’s throat thickened, his windpipe crushed beneath the weight of emotion. �
�Was she happy? I mean, how’d she look?”
“Beautiful, as always.” Blaine grinned. “Why don’t you just call and talk to her?”
“Because she doesn’t want me. She made that clear.” Nate sniffed, unwilling to admit that she more than didn’t want him; she was actually moving on. He busied himself shifting papers from one side of his desk to the other.
“It wasn’t a case of not wanting you.” Blaine leaned against the doorframe. “She broke up with you because you work too hard. You never put her first.”
“It’s my job, Blaine!” He threw his hands up before resting his fists on his desk. “I thought she understood that.”
His brother’s features dented with a sharp frown of annoyance. “You are a stubborn ass. No, actually, you’re a coward.” Blaine pointed at him. “I’m a cop too, you know. And I always manage to make time for Rosie.”
“You’re not a detective. It’s not the same.”
“You have a choice! You think you’re the only detective in this country? All of them work hard, but they prioritize! Sally spent three years understanding and bending over backward to accommodate you because she loves you. And you totally took advantage of that.”
Standing up against Blaine’s verbal lashing was freaking hard work.
Nate glared at him, his nostrils flaring. “Get out of my office.”
“I’m not trying to piss you off, okay? I just hate seeing you like this. She makes you better. She’s good for you, and all you have to do is let go of this insane…whatever…that drives you to work like a demon. Other people can do some of this stuff. Delegate! Walk away from the job sometimes, or you’re gonna lose everything.”
“I already have,” Nate croaked.
“Yeah, well it’s not too late to get some of it back,” Blaine spat, then walked away before Nate could argue with him.
Resting his hands on his hips, Nate stared down at his cluttered desk. The computer hummed, and it took every ounce of willpower he had not to smash his fist through the screen.
Cam clipped back into the room, clearing her throat like she hadn’t just heard the entire exchange. She slapped a file on her desk and briskly announced, “I’m out. I’ve got a date.” Pulling on her jacket, she grabbed her keys and walked to the door. “See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I’ll be here,” he muttered.
Cam chuckled. “Of course you will be.”
The comment riled him like it never had before. Shooting daggers at her back, he picked up his pen and hurled it across the room. It pinged off the whiteboard, then disappeared between the wall and Cam’s desk.
Blaine’s words were a bullwhip against his back, slashing and bruising.
Ever since he’d graduated high school, he’d wanted to be in law enforcement. Becoming a detective had been the proudest day of his life. He could feel his mother smiling down from heaven, urging him on. He was going to find her killer and finally gift her the justice she deserved.
But he hadn’t been able to.
And so he found other killers and criminals to take down, all the while trying to assuage the burning pain that had lived permanently in his chest.
Sally walking out on him had just lit the pain on fire all over again.
He couldn’t imagine turning his back on a case.
Walk away sometimes?
That didn’t even compute.
But life without Sally didn’t compute either.
Her sweet face ran through his mind like a movie reel. Those times when work had been quiet and he’d been able to go home at the end of the day. Sure, he’d get bored and restless without a decent case to sink his teeth into, but it’d meant time with his woman.
They’d watch movies together, go running together, sit on the couch reading books. He taught her how to play chess, and she forced him into playing soccer in their little backyard. She’d kick his ass every time, but her triumphant laughter had been worth it.
He should’ve appreciated those moments more.
Cherished them.
His eyes glassed over and he quickly blinked, snatching his keys off the desk and checking his watch.
If Sally had been working today, her shift would just be ending. He was overtly aware that she was with Oscar now, but…how happy was she, really?
Nate had to know.
Sprinting out the door, he ran for his bike and zoomed away from the station, making it to the hospital in record time. His insides buzzed with nerves and excitement as he imagined seeing her again. Would she be happy? He had no idea what he was going to say to her. He just wanted to stand in her presence for a minute, soak her in. Hopefully his heart would take over and something intelligible would come out of his mouth.
Parking the bike, he was about to turn it off and dismount when he spotted Sally exiting the hospital.
He opened his mouth to call to her, but his words were cut short by a sight that felt like a thunder punch to the groin.
Sally was smiling…at another man.
Oscar.
The guy held out his hand to her and she took it. He pulled her close…and kissed her.
Bile surged up Nate’s throat—a mixture of anger and grief.
Sally pulled away and he said something that made her laugh. Her distant giggle pierced him, and he felt like he’d been shot through the heart.
Oscar opened the door for Sally—always the gentleman—and then ran around to the driver’s side. His flashy car started up and he reversed out of his parking spot, then drove to the opposite exit.
Before Nate could think better of it, he gunned the engine and followed them.
22
Thursday, May 24th
6:30pm
Oscar had been waiting for Sally outside the ER and as soon as she took his hand, he drew her close and kissed her.
She still wasn’t entirely used to it.
His kisses didn’t make her limbs burn the way Nate’s did, but they weren’t unpleasant and so she went with it.
Things with Oscar were easy.
Everybody loved him and they were all constantly encouraging her to go for it. They were happy that she was dating such a sweet, attentive man. Finally, after all her “suffering” she could move on and get all the things she wanted.
They were right, to some degree. Oscar was the type of man to give her the things she’d always dreamed of.
So why… She stopped the question in her head before it could fully form.
She had to stop asking why. She had to stop bemoaning the fact that her ultimate dream had Nate picking her up and taking her out to dinner.
Seeing Blaine earlier in the week had really messed with her head. She had to get over it.
“So, I’ve made reservations at Evana’s.” Oscar pulled out of the hospital parking lot and turned left.
“Wow. Fancy.” Sally looked down at what she was wearing.
Evana’s was the only gourmet restaurant in town. It was really expensive, and people only went there to celebrate special occasions. Sally wasn’t sure if Bridget’s floral spring dress would cut it.
“You look beautiful.” Oscar took her hand and kissed the inside of her wrist. “And you deserve delicious food. Your mother told me you’ve had a tough week, and I want to treat you.”
“A tough week?” Sally asked nervously, wondering just how much of her internal conflict she’d given away without realizing.
“Yeah. She told me about the big car accident a couple of days ago, and that your shifts have been really intense. I’m glad you have the next three days off.”
Sally smiled with relief. “Me too. And you’re sweet to take me out tonight.”
“Someone has to look after you, right?” He winked and turned the corner.
Evana’s appeared up ahead. It had a subtle entrance, wooden double doors indicating to passersby that you had to be something special to be allowed in. For some weird reason it had that allure that made you want to be special enough, like maybe you weren’t quite until you’d di
ned there at least once.
Oscar stopped the car against the curb and threw his keys to the valet before opening the door for Sally. She took his hand and stepped onto the sidewalk, still feeling underdressed.
“You look beautiful,” Oscar reassured her again before kissing her lips and leading her inside.
They were seated at a table by the window. It would be an intimate dinner for two.
As Sally sat down, her stomach rumbled in anticipation. Thankfully Oscar was too busy ordering wine to notice. She hoped she could remember her mother’s training and act like a lady rather than the complete pig she wanted to be.
Nothing would satisfy her more than a large bowl of curly fries, buffalo wings and a cold beer. She and Nate used to order that at Shorty’s Tavern. It was still one of her favorite places to eat.
Oscar’s phone rang and he glanced at his Apple Watch to see who it was.
He winced and sighed. “I’m so sorry. I really must take this.”
“Go for it.” Sally smiled. “I don’t mind.”
And she really didn’t. It would give her a second to breathe and prep herself for a romantic dinner. She was so tired, she wasn’t really in the mood to talk. She’d like nothing better than a hot shower, pajamas, and to settle down and watch some superhero movie. Throw in a plate of fatty food and a tub of ice cream—heaven. However, that was not going to be, and she’d have to come up with something. Oscar had gone to far too much effort to be saddled with a grumpy, morose date.
The Englishman politely thanked her and stood from his chair, walking away for a little privacy.
Picking up the menu, Sally was about to scan it when she glanced out the window. She did a double take and gasped.
Nate.
He was sitting on his motorbike, his foot resting on the curb, staring at her with a look of complete heartache.
Sally’s stomach convulsed, nerves instantly buzzing over her entire body as she drank in his blue gaze.
She always thought she could drown in those blue eyes.
She probably already had—multiple times.
Dark Horse (Aspen Falls Novel) Page 13
