Still coughing, she hesitated for a moment, but then gave in and accepted it, along with his help, when he pressed it up against her lips. She started off with small sips, but then ended up gulping it down. He poured her another cup, but she waved it away.
“Feeling any better?” Rachel asked.
Sofia nodded, but there was still tears rolling down her face. After a minute, she spoke. “I appreciate you all being here, but I need some time alone.”
Everyone opened their mouths to say something, but she cut them off cold. “Please.”
Their gazes shifted among themselves, but this time they were determined to respect her wishes. “All right,” Ram said. “We can all just step outside, if you like.”
She shook her head. “No. You don’t understand. I don’t want you all to wait outside. I need time…without any hovering.”
Her words were like steel bullets through his heart. “Sofia, I think we need to talk.”
She swallowed, but still refused to look at him. “And we will. Just not right now.”
No one moved.
“Please,” she begged again. She closed her eyes but her tears soaked through her long lashes.
Struggling to understand, Ramell lowered his head and brushed a kiss against her turned cheek. In that moment, he knew that his marriage was in trouble. He pulled away from her while the pain in his heart nearly became unbearable, but he released her hand and backed away.
Jacob, Lily, Rachel and Ethan also started drifting away from the bed and then they all marched toward the door with their heads hung low. But before they all ushered out, Sofia spoke, “Rachel…you can stay.”
Rachel gave them a sympathetic look but turned back and rushed to her sister’s side. The rest of them were clearly dismissed. Heart broken, pride shattered, Ram left the hospital with his own tears streaming down his face.
Chapter 18
Sofia left the hospital with a new prescription and a doctor’s warning for her to manage her stress better—which she answered by throwing herself head long back into work. However, this time she refused to step one foot into Limelight Entertainment. She returned to her penthouse and worked out of her home office. She didn’t want to see her aunt and uncle or even Ramell and Emmett. She couldn’t. Just like she couldn’t wrap her brain around the man they portrayed her father to be.
Every time she closed her eyes, all she could remember was the father that would take time to play tea or dress up with her—even when he was tired. She would remember the times he would read her bedtime stories and fill her head with fantasies about princes and princesses. Her father was everything to her. Everything.
He was kind, handsome and strong. Even now she remembered how she used to feel like she was on top of the world whenever she would ride on his shoulders. And so many people loved him. They used to have parties at their house all the time. She remembered sneaking down to see all the Hollywood stars of the time in their beautiful clothes—laughing, smiling…and drinking.
Sofia snapped out of her reverie in time to hear an offer from a studio executive buzzing in her ear. “What kind of deal are we talking about?” she asked, standing up from her office chair and waltzing over to the window to stare out at the cityscape. “I don’t know. That sounds awfully low,” she said, even though she wasn’t listening to what Frasier was offering. It didn’t matter. Her job was to play hardball.
That was pretty much her routine for the next few days—that and screening her calls.
What Sofia was going through wasn’t Ramell’s fault. It wasn’t even her aunt and uncle’s fault. It was the foundation of who and what she believed crumbling beneath her that made her question everything—especially everything that had happened in the past month. Work didn’t comfort her, but it kept her busy. And being busy kept her from breaking down.
But just barely.
However, the more she linked back into her own routine, the more she started distancing herself from the decisions she’d made in the past month. Getting married in Las Vegas the way she did. How cliché could they get? Hardly anything she’d done since Ramell merged his way into her life was like her. Making out in public places, dancing on tables and drinking and blacking out—who was that girl?
Much later that night, Sofia attended a small viewing party for a new movie from a popular director. She smiled. She laughed. She went through the motions. But her heart just wasn’t into her performance.
She just wanted to make an appearance and then head back to her place, but as luck would have it, her uncle was also attending the party.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” Jacob said.
Sofia sucked in a deep breath. She wasn’t ready for this. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“I know this isn’t the place, but I really wish that we could sit down and talk. Maybe after your sister’s wedding tomorrow. Your aunt and I would really like to talk to you about why we kept certain things from you.”
“I know why. I just…can’t get myself to believe it. And I can’t believe I had everything so wrong for so long. I’m just trying to adjust.” Sofia shrugged. “It’s going to take some time.”
He nodded as if he understood. “Still. Your aunt would like to hear from you. She’s blaming herself for a lot stuff right now and I don’t think that’s fair. Everything we did we did out of love. We may not have always gotten it right, but no one is perfect.”
“I know that.”
“Do you?”
Sofia frowned and then finally recognized the look on her uncle’s face as disappointment. That wasn’t something that she was used to seeing from him.
“I’m just going to say this and then I’m going to let it go. I loved my brother. Being twins, we shared a strong bond. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for him and I know that he felt the same way about me. He was a good man. And just because he struggled with an illness didn’t make him any less of a man. In the end he recognized that and he was going to get help. He did it for me, for your mother, and most of all he did it for you and your sister. John loved both of you so much that he wanted to be the best father he could be. And nothing we told you the other day should change how you feel about him, how you’ve always felt about him.”
Jacob’s words of wisdom caused a tear to skip down her face. She quickly brushed a finger beneath her eyes and sniffed. “You’re right,” she admitted. It all suddenly became crystal clear to her. There was no point in trying to fit a square block into a round hole. People were complicated and they had many different sides to them.
“We’ll talk after the wedding tomorrow,” her uncle said, even though it sounded like a question.
“I’d like that.” She leaned forward and brushed a kiss against his cheek. “And I’ll call Aunt Lily tonight.”
“Thanks. She’d love that.”
“I was hoping I would run into you here.”
Sofia stiffened with her drink pressed against her lips when she recognized the voice behind her. Her heart hammering, she slowly turned around and met her husband’s tense and probing stare.
Uncle Jacob cut in, “I’ll just leave you two alone.” He stepped back then turned and drifted into the crowd.
“You look good.” Ram’s gaze roamed over her simple blue dress. “I hope that’s not alcohol. It doesn’t mix well with your medication, you know. And I don’t want you running off and marrying someone else.”
“Ramell,” she whispered.
“Ah. So you do remember me. I was worried there for a moment since you haven’t returned any of my calls.” He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“I was going to call.”
“Good to know.”
“I just needed some time.” She glanced around to make sure that they weren’t drawing too much attention.
“Time for what?” he challenged, sliding a hand into his pocket. Somehow he managed to look aloof and pissed off at the same time.
“To think,” she answered, lowering her voice further. “I just got
hit with a lot, you know, all at once.”
He bobbed his head. “Yeah. I believe I was there. You know this is generally the time when a couple tries to come together. If you’re hurting then I hurt.” Slowly his smile melted. “But what kills me is that after all these years you still don’t come to me. Not when we were best friends and not when we’re man and wife.”
“Ram—”
“No. Let me finish.” He cleared his throat and lifted his chin. “You have a habit of just putting me on a shelf and then going on about your life. And like a fool I just let you do it.”
Sofia frowned as cracks in Ramell’s controlled expression started to show. “That’s not…that’s not what I’m doing.”
“Don’t insult me, Sofia. Every night I go to our house, hoping that you’ll be there. And you’re not. You’ve gone back to your penthouse, back to your beloved job, and back to ignoring me and my calls.”
Fear clutched Sofia’s heart. Seeing the sincerity in Ram’s eyes forced her to let her guard down and she could finally see herself through his eyes and she could feel what he was feeling right now. She stepped forward and reached for his hand, but he stepped back.
“You don’t have to say anything. I’m going to make this easy for you, Sofia. I’ll file for an annulment. Clearly this whole marriage thing was a mistake.”
“No, Ram. That’s not it at all.”
He shook his head. “That is it. Look. I’m going to be honest with you, Sofia. I love you. I always have and I always will. But I can’t continue to do this with you. I can’t keep waiting for you to love me as much as I love you. I just can’t. I’ll talk to Jacob. I can transfer to work out of our New York office. That should make things easier and we won’t have to worry about running into each other at the office.”
“Ramell, that’s not necessary.”
“For me it is. It will just make all of this a lot easier, for the both of us.”
He stepped forward and then planted a kiss on her forehead.
“Goodbye, Sofia.”
Chapter 19
The next morning, Sofia woke with red, swollen eyes. She had spent the whole night staring at the phone and drenching her pillow with tears. The few times that she managed to drift off to sleep her mind would replay the scene of Ramell telling her that he was going to file for an annulment. Each time it repeated she would experience the same stabbing pain in her heart. But what had she expected? She was guilty of everything that he’d accused her of. She cut him off when they were children over some stupid misunderstanding and then she did the same thing again these past few days. And because of what? Because she couldn’t handle hearing that her father wasn’t perfect?
Ramell was right. Why didn’t she turn to him in her time of trouble and not away from him? It wasn’t like she didn’t trust him. She did. She trusted him with her life. Climbing out of bed, Sofia shuffled to the bathroom to see how bad the damage was. It was worse than she thought. Bed head, red eyes, puffy nose—she looked like a train wreck and she had to be on a plane to Napa Valley in a couple of hours.
She headed for the shower even though all she really wanted to do was go back and climb into bed. But there was no peace there, either. Her thoughts tortured her as she scrubbed and rinsed. I can’t keep waiting for you to love me as much as I love you. Sofia’s tears blended with the hot water spraying down from the showerhead. By the time she turned off the water she was rubbed raw and her fingertips looked pickled.
Realizing that she needed to hurry, Sofia attempted to pick up the pace, but she was sluggish at best. When she got into her car, she had every intention of going straight to the airport but the minute she hit the highway she drove to her old house instead. “Please be here. Please be here,” she prayed feverishly. In the driveway, she’d barely put the car in Park before hopping out and running into the house.
“Ramell,” Sofia shouted as she jetted through the house. She kept calling out for him as she ran from room to room. He wasn’t there. When she reached their bedroom, she was shocked to discover that his clothes weren’t there. Not in the walk-in closets, not in the drawers—not anywhere.
“Oh my God. What have I done?” Sofia slapped a hand against her mouth while a fresh wave of acid tears started to burn the back of her eyes. She needed to fix this. But how?
Think. Think. She fixed problems all the time. Being a good agent meant being a problem solver. I don’t think I can solve this one. Sofia walked over to the bed and sat down for a few minutes. In the back of her mind, she knew that she needed to get over to the airport. Her sister was getting married that afternoon, but the other part of her wanted—no—needed, to find her own husband. She needed to stop him from filing an annulment.
Torn, she hopped up from the bed and returned to her car. While she drove out to the highway, she picked up her cell phone, took a deep breath and called Ramell. Hopefully, he wasn’t too mad at her that he wouldn’t answer his phone. At least that was her prayer…until her call went to voicemail. She was about to hang up but then waited too long and heard the beep. “Uh, hello, Ram. It’s me. Sofia.” She cleared her throat. “Look, I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said last night. You know the whole thing about you thinking our getting married being a mistake and you, well you know—”
Beep!
“Damn it.” Sofia tossed her phone over to the passenger seat and then slapped a hand against the steering wheel in frustration. Heartbroken, she made it over to the private airport. She was twenty minutes late, but her uncle held the private jet until she got there. She quickly apologized for her tardiness and climbed aboard.
Actually, she had a lot of apologies to make, she realized upon boarding the plane, the first one being with her Aunt Lily.
“Don’t worry about it, baby,” her aunt said, cupping her face. “All that matters is that you’re all right.”
Sofia wasn’t all right, but she had worried them enough. Plus, it was supposed to be a happy day. Rachel’s day. She was going to put a smile on her face and be there for her little sister. When the plane took off, Sofia glanced out the window and stared out at the white fluffy clouds. Ram said that all his troubles faded when he was in the sky. She waited for that feeling to come over her now. But there was nothing on earth that was going to make her feel better about losing the best thing that had ever happened to her.
Nothing.
The beauty of Napa Valley rolled past Sofia without her noticing. She sat in the car next to her aunt with her thoughts tumbling over the mess that she made with Ramell. Beside her, Aunt Lily exclaimed at the vineyards they passed while riding up to the Chambers Winery.
“This is such a wonderful place for a wedding.” Lily clasped her hands together. “I know I’m going to cry.”
Jacob chuckled. “You always cry at weddings.”
“True. But today there’s going to be some real water-works.”
“Don’t worry about it. I come bearing handkerchiefs.” He wrapped his arm around his wife and delivered a quick kiss against her temple. He noticed his other niece brooding on the other side of the car, but held his tongue. When they arrived at the Chambers’ breathtaking château, he helped his wife out of the car and then lingered to offer a hand to Sofia. He already suspected what was going on but he asked anyway. “Everything all right, Sofia?”
She instantly plastered on a fake smile. “Fine. I’m doing just…” she met his knowing eyes and came clean. “I messed up,” she admitted. “I messed up badly.”
Jacob pulled in a deep breath and slid an arm around her waist. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
“I wish that you could, but…I don’t think anything can fix this.”
He cocked his head. “It’s not like you to just give up.”
“I know, but—”
“Then don’t start making it a habit now.” He squeezed her waist as they headed toward the front door.
Sofia let her uncle’s words hang in her head. The more she thought about it, the mo
re she drew strength from them. They were quickly introduced to Ethan’s parents as well as his older brother, Hunter, and his six-year-old niece Kendra. They were a beautiful family that was clearly a close-knit unit. And when Livia Blake entered the room and slid an arm around Hunter, Sofia felt a kick. It wasn’t jealousy this time, but longing.
Excited, Lily clasped her hands together. “Well, I hope everyone is ready for a fantastic wedding,”
The women said their goodbyes to the men and headed off to a separate wing of the house that was temporarily dubbed the bridal suite. Rachel, who was sitting in a chair with a hairstylist, jumped from her chair, screaming, “Guess who's getting married today!”
“You are,” the women screamed back and then rushed forward for a group hug. Music, champagne, hor d’oeuvres, before long there was a full party in swing. Sofia’s mood lightened. She loved seeing her baby sister so happy. Rachel positively glowed while she recounted the story of how she and Ethan met and fell in love on the set of Paging the Doctor.
“Well it’s not like I’m the only one getting married.” Rachel turned toward Charlene and then all the ladies in the room followed suit.
Charlene cradled her hands on her thick waist. “I wasn’t going to say anything. It’s your day.”
Rachel waved that comment off and reached for her girl’s hand and thrust it toward the other women. “Bam! Look at that sucker.”
All the women blinked at the mammoth rock that Akil had put on her finger.
Sofia’s mouth hung open just like the rest of them and she wondered how she hadn’t noticed the ring when she first saw her. It was just that big. “That definitely says that you’re off the market,” Sofia said and all the women laughed.
“And what about you, Livia?” Charlene asked. “Have any news that you’d like to share with us ladies?”
You’ve got to be kidding me. Sofia turned her head toward Livia, who was now blushing as hard as Charlene.
“What? You want me to talk about this? Bam!” She thrust out her hand, also adorned with a beautiful, equally sizable diamond.
Lovers Premiere (Kimani Romance) Page 15
