by Clare Lydon
The tsunami of movement caused wave after wave of pain until she thought she might be sick. To combat it she lay still, flat and naked, feeling the soft duvet settle on her skin. Calm. She closed her eyes again.
After a few seconds her breathing was even and she felt cocooned – perhaps she could just stay here all day. Perhaps nobody would notice she hadn’t come down for breakfast or dinner. Perhaps Abby would bring her breakfast in bed and they’d laugh about it, her girlfriend kissing her head, wiping her brow, bringing her Nurofen Plus. Perhaps.
Kat gently lifted her head to check for signs of Abby. She wasn’t in the bathroom so she must be downstairs. How had she got home last night? Kat assumed – hoped – that it was Abby who had put her to bed, but she couldn’t be sure.
Whatever, Abby was not going to be amused, and neither was her therapist. She hadn’t taken her pills for the past three days, she’d been drinking heavily, and last night was a blank page.
“If you keep doing the same things and expecting different outcomes, that’s the very definition of madness,” her therapist had said. So clearly she was mad. Another achievement to add to her list.
Kat pulled the duvet up over her head.
***
Geri woke up sprawled across the bed, face down in her pillow, dribbling. Attractive. She turned her head right and saw TJ, which raised a smile. She moved her head left, reached out an arm and banged on the top of the alarm clock so it lit up. 10.10am. Ugh. Her neck creaked as she twisted back around and shuffled towards TJ. Geri kissed the top of TJ’s head and rolled into her bed guest, her foot touching the back of TJ’s knee.
TJ stirred and backed into Geri with a satisfied purr, reaching her arm backwards, twisting and pulling Geri in for a good-morning kiss.
TJ tasted of sulphur but Geri decided not to point this out.
“Morning gorgeous.” Geri was keen to gain the upper hand. After coming to bed, Geri had finally got to touch TJ, taste her, feel her – and she was just as good as promised.
However, after allowing Geri to take the lead for the first part, TJ then proceeded to dominate Geri, sucking and fucking her until she could take no more, her whole body ragged, pulsing. Geri had never experienced a night like it in her life and was caught between being enthralled and not a little disconcerted at her passive role in proceedings. She had drowned in a sea of sexual desire and sleep hadn’t done much to quench her thirst.
Geri was putty in TJ’s hands and TJ knew it.
This morning was no exception. Before Geri could ask any pertinent questions about how she’d slept and what she thought of last night, TJ was on top of her, taking her hand and sliding into Geri, who couldn’t remember the last time she was this turned on so early in the morning. TJ slid, ground, thrust, circled. She knew which buttons to press, had worked out Geri’s PIN code in just one night. Soon enough, Geri was arching her back and seeing stars, just as she had the night before.
When Geri could take no more, TJ kissed her firmly before swinging herself out of bed. She swiped her phone off the bedside table and padded to the bathroom.
Geri laid on top of her duvet, legs still spread and inert, trying to regulate her breathing and her thought processes.
Where had this woman come from? And why didn’t they make women like this in London?
As she waited for her blood to pump back up to her brain, she entertained all kinds of scenarios. She hadn’t met anybody she’d clicked with like this in a very long time. And, yes, she knew part of this feeling was lust, her body approving of what had just happened. But it was more than that.
TJ was on Geri’s level.
She was around the same age, sorted, secure and, above all, sexy as hell. So much so, Geri was already working out the finer details of TJ visiting her in London, along with weekends spent in Devon drinking Rattler, dinner in the pub and then lying in TJ’s arms under the stars.
Geri was already building a patchwork future for the two of them, which TJ had done nothing to discourage with her declarations of falling for her. Who had Geri turned into?
She heard TJ flush the loo, then the sound of the water hitting the basin. She smoothed herself down, arranged her limbs in a seductive pose and counted in her head to when the door would open, fixing her eyes firmly on it.
After eight seconds she heard the lock turn and TJ walked in, shot her a wink and walked straight over to her jeans, steadying herself before sliding one leg in and then another. As she bent over, Geri noticed again a tattoo on the small of her back, some kind of Celtic symbol. It looked intricate, like it would have hurt. Another tick to add to TJ’s pile – Geri had always found tattoos irresistible.
“You off?” Geri tried but failed to sound nonchalant.
TJ nodded as she turned and walked over to Geri. Her stomach was tanned and surfboard-flat, her breasts ample, her body fitting snugly into her skinny jeans. Her bare feet had flip-flop tan lines. TJ leant in and kissed Geri, then walked back to put on her bra.
“Don’t want to outstay my welcome.” TJ pulled her black polo shirt over her head.
Alarm crept through Geri’s body. She hoiked herself up and into a sitting position, taking the covers with her, suddenly feeling exposed by her nakedness.
“You’re not… really. In fact, I was hoping you might want to come back to bed and we could finish what we started.” Geri poured every ounce of seduction into the last sentence, but TJ seemed unmoved.
Instead, she walked over and sat on the bed. She put on one of her socks, before turning to Geri.
“I should really go…” TJ stroked her chin.
“On the contrary, I think you should definitely stay.” Geri dropped the covers to reveal her breasts.
TJ leant in and kissed one breast, then the other, before crushing Geri’s lips with her own seductively, effortlessly.
Geri was lost for words again. She could happily set up home in that kiss and be just fine.
“You’re very tempting but I think we both know it’s best if I go. You’re going tomorrow and I’ve got stuff to do today.” TJ stroked a hand down the side of Geri’s face lightly. “I had a great time.”
But even Geri could see that time was now over and TJ’s mind was elsewhere.
“Me too.” And Geri had, only she’d like more. Now, later, ad infinitum.
But TJ was already up and gathering her watch, rings, wallet and phone, the last of which she checked, bit her lip, then stuffed into her back pocket.
Geri threw back the covers but TJ shook her head, grabbing them and covering Geri once more.
“You stay in bed, go back to sleep, one of us should.” TJ looked at her watch as she put it back on and chewed the inside of her cheek. “I really have to go,” she said. “I can see myself out.”
Geri opened her mouth to speak but couldn’t think of anything to say. She searched her brain for something.
“Will I see you at the pub later?” Geri asked, too high-pitched. She hated the tinge of desperation in her voice.
TJ shook her head. “Not tonight – I’ve got a family thing today. Easter, you know.” She shrugged, then inched her way to the door and placed her hand on the handle before turning back.
“Happy Easter.” She locked eyes with Geri.
This time Geri didn’t care what she looked like or how she was perceived. She couldn’t let TJ go without doing one last thing. She jumped out of bed, temporarily halting TJ with her naked body, then rustled in a carrier bag over by the cream wardrobe. She found what she was looking for, stood up and walked over to TJ with what she hoped was hot, naked swagger.
“Happy Easter to you too,” she said, handing her a Smarties Easter egg. Then, with one skilled move, Geri grasped the back of TJ’s neck and kissed her, sliding in her tongue and taking complete control.
TJ gave in immediately and kissed her back, pulling her in tight. Their mouths danced with sizzling abandon.
After a few seconds there was a dull
thud as TJ dropped the Easter egg, followed by the beep of a phone nearby. TJ pulled back, fished her phone from her back pocket, then frowned.
Geri said it before she did. “I know, I know, you’ve got to go. Just thought I’d give you something to remember me by.” Geri bent to retrieve the Easter egg and pressed it into TJ’s chest.
TJ looked like she was about to say something, then changed her mind. A final, gentle kiss, a hurried smile and TJ was out the door and gone.
Geri watched her fade from view, the thud of the stairs, the scuttle of shoes, the swish of a jacket, the slam of the door. And then she was standing naked, heading back to bed, wondering if it had all been a dream.
She climbed back into the sheets and smothered herself in the soft bedding, her limbs aching, her body still throbbing. She touched herself and within minutes she was coming again, arching her back away from the bed, groaning and imagining it was TJ. It wasn’t a dream. Her body remembered. She remembered.
***
Stevie woke up after one of her first nights of unbroken sleep in the past six months. She’d managed eight hours and had forgotten nights like this could exist, what it felt like to wake up after a stint of deep, unbroken rest. She felt refreshed, upgraded. This was first-class sleep and it was priceless.
She turned to Vic, still sound asleep, still none the wiser that she’d crashed out on Stevie’s plans for a night of passion. Had she not made it clear enough? She thought she had, but maybe their signals were out of sync after so long apart. Or maybe Vic had just drunk too much. Whatever, the way she was feeling, today would definitely be the day. Stevie was sure of it.
***
Laura opened her eyes and was aware of the space between her and Tash purely because it was unheard of. Still, at least Tash was still in their bed and not sleeping on the sofa after last night. Then she felt the pain and put her hand to her face.
What the hell? She didn’t remember getting into a fight last night, but her face was telling her otherwise. Was it Kat? It couldn’t have been Tash, surely? Laura scoured her brain for an answer and then she remembered. The damn rake. She grinned, then immediately regretted it as her face began to sing a chorus of pain. This was no time for facial expressions, clearly. Laura winced and swung her legs out of bed to assess the damage.
The bathroom mirror was not in a friendly mood. Laura did a double-take as she switched on the light and gasped at her face. Her nose had a gash on the left-hand side where the rake had made contact, but it was her left eye that was the standout in this particular masterpiece. She counted purple, yellow, red and blue as her finger lightly traced the colours visible on her skin. They spread out below her eye and ran up around its corner and across her eyelid.
Laura was secretly impressed with the look – she’d always found black eyes cool. However, now she had one, she was less than impressed with the accompanying pain.
After a few minutes, Laura tiptoed back into bed. She’d just laid her head on her pillow when she heard her phone buzz on the table beside her and reached out to grab it. It was a text from Alex saying she’d been trying to get hold of Tash and it was URGENT, the final word in full capitals followed by seven exclamation marks. Seven. Laura doubted it was an actual 999-style emergency, but it was time they were both awake.
Laura rolled across the cold corridor of space up the middle of the bed and shook Tash gently on the shoulder. Tash woke far too easily, which told Laura she’d been awake and thinking about how to tackle the morning, too.
“Alex wants you.” Laura draped her arm over Tash’s body and dangled her phone between her thumb and index finger in front of Tash’s face. “Said it’s urgent. Probably a cosmetics emergency – cerise pink or electric blue?”
Tash let out a throaty chuckle before pushing Laura’s phone away gently, hauling herself upright and rubbing her eyes. She grabbed her phone from the bedside table and pressed the On button. It juddered to life with its familiar jingle.
“How’d you sleep?” Laura was eager to gauge Tash’s mood in a bid to know how to pitch herself this morning. Gauging it right could be all-important in the battle to win her round again fully.
Forgetting they’d been quarrelling, Laura reached out and stroked Tash’s back underneath her T-shirt.
Tash, clearly also forgetting they’d argued, arched her back in response.
After around five seconds they both suddenly recalled their garden siege and Laura’s hand stopped. There was silence, as Tash styled it out, pulling up her favourites on her phone and pressing the green dial button.
Laura lay on her back and stared at the ceiling as Tash connected.
“Hello, sweetheart – what’s up?”
There was breathless gabbling at the other end of the phone followed by the sound of Tash’s face cracking as she smiled. Her ginger hair was sticking up at the back and the freckles on her arm looked slightly more joined together after a day in the sun.
“Slow down – what does dad say?”
More chatter one end, some sighing this end.
“Well he’s probably right then, isn’t he?” Laura’s ears pricked up. Tash was agreeing with Simon? This must be a first.
“No, I don’t think he needs to ask your friend’s parents what they’re doing as I think I can guess. Look, I’m back tomorrow and we can speak about it then but you’re 12, sweetheart, not 15.”
The chatter got higher pitched.
“I don’t think it’s a suggested age – I’ve seen the posters and that’s the age you need to be before you go. If you want to go then your dad has said he’ll come too, otherwise you’re not going.”
The chatter reached a crescendo. Tash assessed her fingers then chewed a stray hangnail.
“Sweetheart, yes, it’s not fair, and that’s life. Now I’m going – have a lovely day with your dad. I’ll see you tomorrow and we can talk more then. Is Taylor there?”
The chatter sounded sulky now, less animated.
“Okay, well give her my love. I’ll text you later and we’ll talk tomorrow. Love you.”
Tash got the reply she needed, pressed the red button and hung up. She placed the phone back on the bedside table and twisted her head left to look at Laura.
“So was that comment aimed at Alex or at me?” Laura ran a tentative finger down Tash’s arm.
“What comment?”
“About the fairness of life.”
Tash shrugged. “You can’t always get your own way, can you? And she certainly can’t play me off against Simon while he’s taken Taylor swimming.” Tash rolled her eyes at her elder daughter’s tactics.
“I’d give her points for trying, though – shows ingenuity.” Laura’s face cracked into a grin.
“Very true.”
There was a pause as they both realised they were chatting normally about their life and their children. As if everything was normal, routine. So was it? Neither was truly sure, but they both knew this was their life. They’d thrown their lot in with each other, even if they hadn’t committed to for better or for worse just yet.
Laura got the ball rolling. “So,” she began, propping herself up on her elbow and turning towards Tash. “Are we okay this morning? Am I forgiven?”
Tash frowned but Laura could see a smile underneath it. “I think I need to make you suffer a while longer than this, don’t I? I can’t just forgive you straightaway. That’s not in the rules of the game.”
Laura leant over and kissed her girlfriend on the mouth, softly, carefully, tearing up the rulebook with every step.
Tash kissed her back.
“I’m still pissed off at you,” Tash said when she pulled back, slipping on her best scowl to emphasise the point. Within seconds though, she’d switched it up for a look of concern. “But I can’t be too angry with you when your face looks like that, can I?”
Tash reached out a hand to touch it and Laura pulled back.
“I was just going to stroke your good
side,” Tash said, before doing just that. “Is it sore?” She winced as she said it.
“What do you think?” Laura gave Tash a half-smile so as not to hurt her face. “But it’s true. You can’t stay angry at this face for long, can you?”
Tash chuckled. “No. But I can’t look at it too long, either. It’s freaking me out.”
***
Tash rolled onto her back, taking Laura’s hand in hers. She went to say something, then stopped. Then she began again.
“I’m still pissed off with you though, despite the rake saving your skin last night. Not for sleeping with Kat – that was before me, you can do what you want – but for lying to me. I don’t like to question us,” Tash said.
“I know…” Laura replied.
Tash cut her off, shaking her head. “I’m not sure you do, but I hope you do. We’ve been together five years. Five years.” Tash rolled to face Laura now, to ensure she had her full attention.
“You’re woven into my life – but it’s not just about me, it’s about the girls too. I would never have got together with you, never have turned my life upside down and theirs too if I didn’t think we had a future together. If I didn’t think you were trustworthy.” Tash paused before gathering her breath, licking her lips.
Laura went to speak but Tash put a finger to her lips.
“No, let me finish.” Tash’s eyes glowed with emotion. “You’ve never ever given me a reason to doubt that – never. You are that person – trustworthy, dependable, there for me and the kids always. Sexy, too.” Tash smiled, before returning to her serious face.
“But any little chink in your armour, however small, makes me wonder if there’s anything else. If this is really what you want. Would you rather be out there sleeping with the Kats of this world? Would you rather be going out drinking and clubbing, rather than sitting at home watching telly with me and the girls? Is this really the life you want?”
Tash ran her hand through her hair and exhaled a week’s worth of breath. She knew there was a part of Laura that did want that life – and there was a part of her that would like to experience it, too. Not all the time, just occasionally.
