by Nikki Ash
Putting my pride, as well as the need to prove I can do this by myself, aside, I grab my cell phone and call Olivia while turning the car around to head toward her place. “I think something is wrong.” I explain everything I did—from feeding him, to changing his diaper, to taking him for a drive. While we’re talking, his crying never once lets up.
“I’ll be right there.”
“I’m already on my way.”
We hang up, and roughly ten minutes later, I hand Reed over to her. She takes him out of his car seat, sits down on the couch, and starts checking him out. Then she places him on his belly across her lap and starts patting his back.
Within minutes, his crying has ceased. She glances up at me with a ghost of a smile playing on her lips. And it’s then I notice her nose is red, her cheeks are blotchy, and around her eyes are puffy. She’s been crying.
“He’s gassy, but it’s trapped. When you press on his belly, it helps release the gas. You have to make sure when he eats, you stop him several times to burp him. He’s a little pig and will suck it all down too fast.”
“Fuck!” I say aloud, “I forgot to burp him.” I’m already sucking at this parenting thing.
“You’ll learn,” she says, “it just takes time.”
I sit down next to her and glance at Reed, who is still on his belly across her lap. His eyes are open, but he’s totally content. “Why didn’t you go out tonight?” I ask her. She’s sporting a pair of fleece sweatpants and a matching hoodie. Her hair is up in a messy bun, and her face is free of any makeup.
“Umm… maybe because I just had a baby a couple weeks ago.” She nudges me playfully. “I was surprised you wanted to take him on New Year’s. My dad and Corrine are at the team party.”
“Yeah, Celeste is there too. I don’t really care about that stuff.”
“That’s not what google says.” My eyes meet hers, and she immediately tries to backpedal. “I mean…”
“You googled me?” I waggle my eyebrows playfully, and her cheeks turn an adorable shade of pink.
“I wanted to know about the father of my baby.”
“And what did you find out?”
“Nothing I didn’t already know.” Reed makes a cooing sound, and she picks him up.
“Tell me why you were crying.” She averts her eyes, but I’m not having it. “Liv, talk to me.”
“He should be good now.” She ignores my question and hands him back to me. I notice she has a movie going, but it’s been paused.
“What’re you watching?” When she doesn’t answer right away, I look at her and see that she’s blushing. “What is it? Porn?”
She slaps my arm. “No! Here.” She hands me the pacifier, and I put it in Reed’s mouth. His eyes roll back, and I laugh.
“He loves that thing. So, what are you watching?”
“Titanic.”
“Ahh…good old Leo.” I glance around the room. “Where’s your roomie?”
“I made her go out.” That’s when I notice on the coffee table is a box of Kleenex and a tub of ice cream.
“Liv, why were you crying?”
She huffs. “You can’t be that oblivious, Nick.” She hits me with a pointed look, but I have no clue what she’s talking about. “I was crying because you took my baby. My very new, very fragile, newborn baby,” she whispers, her eyes shooting up toward the ceiling as she tries to stop the tears from falling.
“I told you I’d bring him back tomorrow.”
“I’ve never been away from him.” Her voice cracks. “I wasn’t prepared for this, prepared to let him go. I went from thinking my son would never have a father, to you saying you didn’t want to be a dad, to being blindsided with a petition for joint custody. I just gave birth a couple weeks ago for God’s sake. It’s just…” She swipes at her eyes but the tears come anyway. “It’s just a lot. I’m a new mom. I don’t want my baby out of my sight.”
“Fuck…” I was so caught up in trying to do the right thing, I didn’t even think about how my taking our son would affect her. Most women in my life wouldn’t care. Look at Celeste. She was trying to hire a nanny before she even officially met Reed. My mom had a nanny hired before I was even born. I spent more time with her growing up than I did with my own parents.
“I didn’t think any of this through. I grew up with a nanny who was more of a parent to me than my own parents. Unless it was football related, my dad didn’t know I existed. And the only time my mom showed me any attention was when she would drag me to family functions.”
Olivia’s eyes meet mine, and I can tell she’s paying attention—actually listening to what I’m saying—so I continue. “You were so mad that I didn’t want to be a dad. When I realized I could do this, and that I wanted to do it better than my parents did, I didn’t stop and think about your feelings, or what all of this would mean for you. I’m sorry. We’ll figure it all out. I promise.”
“Thank you.” She grants me a sincere smile.
We look down at our son and see that he’s fast asleep. “I should get going. Let you get back to your movie.”
Her lips turndown into a slight frown, but she nods. “Or we can watch the countdown,” she suggests.
“I’m leaving Reed here with you, Liv. He’s exhausted and finally asleep.”
She bites down on her lower lip for a second and then softly says, “You could still stay and watch the ball drop. I mean, if you want to…or you could still make it to the party.”
“I’ll stay here,” I tell her without giving my decision a second thought.
Our eyes lock for a brief moment and then she nods. “Okay.” She switches the movie off and finds the New Year’s Eve show on the television. “Have you ever been?”
“To Times Square for New Year’s? Once. It’s a damn madhouse. You?”
“Growing up, my parents would always stay home. They said there were too many drunks on the road. My dad would pick up take out, and they would let me stay up to watch the ball drop on TV. Once I was old enough to go out, New Year’s Eve was the only night they would make me stay home, but I didn’t mind. It had become a tradition of sorts, plus they always let me pick the food.”
“Where’s your mom now?”
Olivia frowns. “She passed away from breast cancer when I was seventeen. She was born and raised in France until she came here at eighteen to meet with a photographer. She was a model. She met my dad on the subway on the way to her meeting.” She laughs. “It was love at first sight.”
“Is she why you were living in Paris?”
“Yeah…after she died, it was hard to be here without her. I moved over there after graduation in hopes of learning about my roots and ended up staying there.”
“What made you move back?”
“Reed. My dad wanted me to be near family. Giselle graduated a few weeks ago, and since she’s from here as well, she agreed to move back here with me. She’s the best friend a woman could ask for.”
“She hates me.”
Olivia giggles. “With good reason.”
“Hey, you’re the one who left me.”
“It was a one-night stand!”
“Says who? It was never specified. I woke up and you were gone. If you wouldn’t have hightailed out of your room the next morning, I would’ve asked for your number.”
“Oh God! You’re so full of it, Cole!”
“Okay, Liv.” I chuckle, and she snorts.
“Just watch the show.”
Thirteen
Olivia
The door slams closed and I jump slightly, my neck groaning in pain. My hand comes up to massage the kink as I attempt to sit up, only I can’t. My body is overheated and I’m being weighed down by… Nick? I glance around. Why the hell is Nick’s body wrapped around mine on the couch?
“Oh shit!” Giselle shrieks, and Nick rolls off the couch, landing on the wood floor with a loud thump.
“What the hell?” His voice is husky and has me tightening my thighs as I remember the last t
ime I heard his voice like that—when he was pulling me on top of him at three in the morning, so I could ride his hard…Shit! I can’t think about that night. He’s freaking engaged!
“What’s going on here?”
I sit up and notice Giselle has her hands on her hips, and she’s still wearing her clothes from last night. Her makeup is also completely messed up like she’s been crying.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. “And what time is it?”
“It’s four in the morning. I spent the night at Christian’s hotel…” Her words drift off, and her eyes brim with tears.
“Giselle, what happened?” I’ve never seen her look this upset.
“Christian and his friends threw a party. Before the clock even struck midnight they were completely wasted and I had enough, so I went to bed alone. I woke up around two to go pee and he was still partying hard. He had left his phone on the counter and it went off several times. I couldn’t help being nosy, so I checked it. It was from another woman.”
“Oh no! He’s seeing someone else?” Giselle was just saying she felt like it was too good to be true. Dammit, Christian!
“Not someone…some-ones. Plural. I could tell that he’s changed, but I didn’t want to admit it to myself. He was drinking a lot, and I caught him with drugs. He kept making excuses, but I knew deep down that’s just what they were…excuses. I ran out of his room upset, but after thinking about it, like the idiot I am, I went back up to his room to talk to him. I guess I was hoping he would convince me it wasn’t what it looked like. I wasn’t even gone an hour and he had already replaced me with some groupie-whore. I’m so stupid. I walked in and caught him fucking her in his bed. I should’ve known. He’s a damn musician who travels around the country on tour. Of course he has a different woman waiting for him on speed-dial in every city.”
“Hey now, that’s not fair,” Nick cuts in. “Not every guy who travels, cheats. I’ve never cheated while on the road.”
Giselle glares down at Nick who is still on the floor. “That you’d admit to,” Giselle hisses. “But there’s more, and it’s not about me.” She frowns.
“Jesus, what else happened?” I ask.
“While I was waiting for my Uber to arrive, I was checking my social media and saw something…” She glances toward Nick, who has moved from the floor to the couch and is sitting next to me. “You know what. We can discuss what I saw later. What I’d like to know is what your baby daddy is doing here and not at home with his fiancée.”
“We must’ve fallen asleep while watching the countdown. Nothing happened.” I stand. “Now tell me what’s going on. You have me freaking out and assuming the worst.” Her eyes dart toward Nick. “Is it about Nick?”
“No.” She shakes her head.
“Then just tell me!”
“Fine. Victor the asshole posted on social media.”
“My ex?”
“Do we know any other asshole named Victor? Yes, that Victor. He announced his engagement to Heather.”
“Heather? Our friend from college?”
“Yes! And according to their post, they’ve been together for two years.”
“But that would mean…” I do the math in my head. “He cheated on me?”
“Apparently they were keeping it all under wraps the entire time. Nobody knew.”
“Wow, I guess that explains why he didn’t ask me to move with him to Switzerland.”
“He was a self-absorbed dickhead anyway,” Giselle points out. “Plus, he was shitty in bed. Remember you said you didn’t know how bad Victor was until…” Her eyes glance toward Nick, and I will her not to finish her sentence. The last thing I need is for Nick to know that the night I spent with him was without a doubt the best sex I’ve ever experienced. I had no idea how crappy my sex life with Victor was until Nick and I spent the night together.
Reed lets out a wail, and I get up way too quickly to grab him, needing to end this potentially awkward moment. I change his diaper and clothes, and when I come back out, Nick is still sitting on the couch.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Oh yeah.” I wave him off. “Nothing I can’t handle. We’ve been over for a while. Before you and I—well, anyway, I should’ve known, but I was too blinded by trying to find that stupid happily-ever-after. Speaking of which, shouldn’t you get home to your fiancée?”
He looks like he wants to respond but thinks better of it. “Yeah…umm…is it okay if I come by Tuesday to see Reed? It’s my day off from practice. Once you respond to the custody petition we can figure out a set schedule.”
“Sure.” I leave the living room and head to the kitchen to make Reed a bottle, and Nick follows. “Reed has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow afternoon. It’s just a routine check-up. I don’t know what your plans are but—”
“I only have practice in the morning. I’ll go.” Nick takes Reed from me so I can make the bottle, and I let him.
“Right…okay.” Nick is standing close to me, our son nestled in his arms. He smiles softly, and I allow myself a minute to check him out. Reed has a lot of his features. From his bright green eyes, to his messy hair, which curls at the ends. His jaw is chiseled with day-old scruff. He’s a handsome man, and my son will most likely look similar to him. He leans over and gives Reed a kiss on his forehead, and the beauty in the moment sends shivers down my spine.
To an outsider, we look like a family. A mother and a father looking down adoringly at their baby. The false illusion has me frowning. All my life I watched my mom and dad live in a fairytale. I imagined one day I would have that. Instead, I’m a single mom with a baby by a man who’s engaged to another woman. It sounds like the making of a Lifetime movie instead of Disney.
I finish making the bottle then take Reed from Nick, situating him into my arms and giving him the bottle. We’re walking out of the kitchen and into the living room when Giselle comes running out from her room, freshly showered and looking like she’s ready to take on the world.
“I got the job! I got it! Lydia emailed me last night! I’m officially employed by one of the most elite interior design firms in New York. I mean, it’s only an internship, so I won’t get paid much, but it’s a start.”
“Fresh Designs?”
“Yes! This is a dream come true. Do you know what this job will do for my resumé?”
“I’m so happy for you! When do you start?”
“Next Monday. They’re off for the holidays. She said to come in early Monday morning to get all the paperwork filled out. We need to celebrate. Let’s go out for lunch.”
I glance down at Reed. “I’m not ready to bring him in public yet.”
“You brought him to the game,” Giselle points out.
“Yeah, but that was only…” My eyes dart to Nick, remembering he’s still here.
“To scare the hell out of Celeste?” he says dryly, and I flinch.
Giselle giggles, and I do my best to hide my grin. If Nick knows, that means Celeste went home and told on me.
When I don’t answer right away, Nick says, “I don’t know all the details, other than the fact that Celeste thinks you should hire a nanny.”
“What?” I screech. That wasn’t my intention!
Nick smirks. “That poor baby was crying and being neglected.”
“He was not! He is perfectly taken care of.” My heart starts racing. Is that why he’s here? Does he think I’m incapable of taking care of our son? “I just let him cry for a few minutes. I was hoping she would freak out and run back to you, and you would go away!”
Nick’s grin widens. “Nice try. I’ll give you credit, though. Your plan worked…partially. She wants nothing to do with a baby unless it comes with someone else to handle the crying, but you aren’t getting rid of me that easily.” He taps my nose with his pointer finger and chuckles. Then he says goodbye to Giselle and gives Reed another kiss. “See you tomorrow.”
“Yep,” I say, watching him walk to the door.
>
“Well, well, well,” Giselle says slowly, once Nick is out the door. “I must admit, I didn’t see these change of events coming, but now it makes sense.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You and Nick.” She nods slowly.
“I wasn’t trying to break them up. I was hoping to scare her, so she would convince Nick not to seek custody. I was desperate. It was stupid.” I sit on the couch and continue to feed Reed his bottle.
“But did you hear what he said? His fiancée won’t be getting anywhere near the baby. I give that engagement two more weeks tops. He’s committed to this daddy gig, and she’s committed to the runway.” Giselle plops down on the couch next to me.
“And if they split up, that will be their issue. It has nothing to do with me.”
“So, you haven’t thought about what it would be like to give Reed a mommy and a daddy?”
“I am giving him one of each.” Setting the bottle down, I lift Reed up against my shoulder and pat his back until he lets out a loud belch.
“You know what I mean.”
“In the beginning…when I first found out I was pregnant, all the time. Then when I spotted him playing football, the thought ran through my head…until he spoke.” Giselle laughs. “We have nothing in common other than one night of hot sex.”
“Explain.”
“He’s a freaking pro football player who’s engaged to a gorgeous, successful supermodel. I bet they jet off on his days off to the Caribbean or some shit. Nick probably lives an extravagant, over-the-top life while I prefer mine to be more…low key. Sure, right now he says he wants to be a better parent to Reed than his were to him, but that’s only because Reed is like a shiny new toy. Once Nick gets bored of playing dad, I’ll be the one who is left to pick up the pieces of our son’s heart when I have to explain to him why his father doesn’t want him.”
Giselle gives me a pointed look. “Your mom was a model, in case you forgot, and your dad played football before he became a coach.” My heart tightens at the mention of my mom.
