by M. R. Holman
and Pinky shot out from under the couch toward the front door. Nessie got up, excitedly, and made her way to the door to let in the Cryptophone Guitar technician. She glanced at herself in the mirror hanging on the wall by the door, and said, “Hold on just a moment! Back Pinky! Get back!”
As Pinky retreated back into the cave, Nessie opened the door and let in the Cryptophone Guitar Technician. He was a dragon of some sort, but smaller than the average dragon. Nessie was basing this only on photographs, films, and depictions of dragons in books, but he seemed smaller than what she would have expected. He tipped his hat, which had the words Cryptophone Guitars written in a retro style script, as he entered. He carried a large leather bag in his other hand.
“Good afternoon, my name is Pete and I’ve been sent by Cryptophone Guitars,” the dragon said as he closed the door behind him. “So, I’ve been told that you have a guitar that needs some alterations.”
“That is correct, it’s here in the living room. Watch out for my pet salmon, it can be a bit unpredictable around visitors,” Nessie said as Pinky approached the dragon and then turned and began to swim listlessly toward the kitchen.
“Oh, that’s fine. I love salmon,” the dragon said as it made its way to the living room. Nessie began to wonder in what capacity Pete loved salmon. Did he love pet salmon or did he love eating salmon?
“So, what are the alterations that need to be made?” Pete set down his leather bag and picked up the guitar. He was examining it while shaking his head, murmuring the word “Yetis…”
“Well, the bottom half is correct,” Nessie said, watching Pete the dragon cradling the guitar in his well-manicured claws and examining it closely with his fiery red eyes. “But the neck was supposed to be wider. It needs to be wide enough for me to play it with my fins.”
“Uh huh…” Pete said glancing back and forth from her fins to the guitar. He set the guitar back down on the top of the coffee table, and picked up his leather bag. He unzipped it and Nessie could hear the sound of tools rattling together, and wood clunking into wood. He extricated a set of tools from the bag and set it down again. He flipped the guitar over on the coffee table and began to take the neck off.
“So how long have you been playing guitar?” Pete asked, still focusing on removing the neck of the guitar.
“I actually have never played the guitar before. I thought it would be a fun way to pass the time so I ordered this one to learn to play on.” Nessie said, somewhat embarrassed. She did not really know what there was to be embarrassed about. She wanted to learn to play the guitar, and she ordered one. Why did she feel this way?
“Well, you’re right,” Pete said, now completely removing the neck and placing it in his leather bag. “It definitely is a fun way to pass the time. I’m sure you’ll be playing in no time at all.” He afforded her the quickest glance and smile before returning to his bag and removing a much wider guitar neck.
“Now that looks like the neck I had specified,” Nessie said as Pete placed the neck next to the guitar, mocking up how it would look when assembled.
“It’s likely that it actually is the one you ordered. All the correct parts were made for these guitars, but that yeti just put all the wrong parts on all the wrong custom instruments. I removed this neck, if you can believe it, from a ukulele this morning,” Pete said, shaking his scaly, horned head.
“Why did the yeti do that?” Nessie asked as she watched the dragon assembling the guitar components.
“He had some sort of disagreement with management. He had been a bit of a loose cannon the whole time he had been working there though. How does this look? Like what you ordered?” Pete asked as he held up the newly modified guitar in his clawed hands.
Nessie beamed. It was exactly as she had ordered. “That’s it! Thank you so much, Pete.”
“All in a day’s work, ma’am. Well, I’ll be going now,” Pete said as he zipped up his leather bag.
“Wait, the guitar needs to be stringed and tuned. That was part of the order. I’m not sure if I can string it myself due to my fins, and I’m not really sure how to tune it yet,” Nessie said, not meeting the dragon’s eyes.
“Oh… of course,” Pete muttered as he lowered the leather bag once more and unzipped it. “Do you mind if I sit on your couch? It’ll make this part easier.”
“Absolutely. Do what you need to.”
Pete sat down on Nessie’s forty foot long couch, taking up only about one third of it. He strung each string quickly but carefully before deftly turning each tuning peg at the end of the guitar’s neck until the desired note rang out from it.
“Could you hook it up to my amplifier and check to make sure that the potentiometers and pickups are wired properly?” Nessie asked as Pete had begun to stand up.
“Sure. For someone who has never played a guitar before, you seem to know a fair amount about their inner workings.”
“I don’t do anything before I learn as much as I can about it,” Nessie said with something of a smirk on her long, seaweed green reptilian face. She was glad that her knowledge had been noticed and appreciated.
Pete plugged the guitar into the amplifier that was floating an inch or so above the floor by the coffee table. Nessie had found it in a small secondhand shop for cryptids, ran by a sweet old kelpie on the other end of the loch. It had ensured her that it had good tones despite its age, but she was about to find out first hand. The guitar made a brief spluttering sound as the cord was plugged into its metal receiver, but was then silent aside from an almost imperceptible hum issuing from the amplifier. Pinky seemed to be able to hear it better, as it was eyeing the amplifier with what could have been apprehension. It was difficult to ascertain exactly what feeling or mood Pinky was experiencing, since it was a salmon. Pete grazed his index claw across the strings, each one producing a beautiful dulcet tone which reverberated off the stone walls.
"You have great acoustics in here," Pete said as he strummed a few chords on the guitar.
"Yes, it sounds lovely. How long have you been playing?" Nessie asked.
"I've been playing for about six centuries." Pete the dragon said, as though this was a throw away detail of no real significance. Then Pete launched into a series of complicated looking guitar riffs, his claws bending the strings so far that Nessie fears that they would be cut in two. However, the strings were fine. In fact, they were better than fine as they continued to produce melodious music until Pete the dragon stopped playing abruptly.
"Oh no, I didn't realize the time," Pete said as he glanced at his wristwatch. "I have more appointments to attend to. That was one busy Yeti."
"Thank you, Pete. You're quite a talented guitarist."
"Thanks... If you'd like to hear more, my band and I are playing a set at the Underwater Well Pub at the north end of the loch at eight o'clock. Feel free to stop by and have a drink. It's always a good time at the Underwater Well," Pete the dragon said as he gathered his tools and zipped up his leather bag.
"Well thank you. I may just take you up on that. I'd like to see some live music for a change."
"Sounds good. Enjoy your guitar."
Nessie walked Pete to the front door, Pinky close at their heels. As he exited and she closed the door again, she thought excitedly of learning to play her new electric guitar, and thought anxiously and nervously of the prospect of going to the pub to see Pete the dragon play with his band. Did she really want to go at all? Social affairs always made her a nervous wreck. She preferred a quiet night in with a few close friends instead of raucous nights surrounded by strangers. All the same, she thought she might attend. Maybe she could learn something about playing her guitar. She just hoped that Pete would not think she was interested in him. She was quite sure that he just was not her type.
Nessie approached her guitar, unplugged it, and turned off her amplifier. She wanted to become better acquainted with the basic concepts of playing the guitar before she actually started playing. She picked up a book that she had purchased earlier th
at week, called "Demystifying the Guitar: A Companion Volume For Lake Monster Musicians", and started reading. It really was a well written book. It was instructional, while still being readable and compelling.
There was no doubt about it, Nessie was a bookworm. She read everything she could get her fins on, and she did it quickly and thoroughly. Demystifying the Guitar: A Companion Volume For Lake Monster Musicians was no exception. Soon, she understood basic chord progressions, strumming patterns, and general guitar maintenance, along with the history of underwater guitars and notable lake monster guitarists. She felt that she was finally ready to begin the practical portion of her musical education.
However, upon looking at the grandfather clock that was tilting slightly to the left and straightening itself out repeatedly, she noticed that it was already 7:30. She decided that it would be good for her to get out for a while after all. She spent a few minutes getting ready, let Pinky outside to use the bathroom, and upon the salmon's return she left for the Underwater Well Pub on the north side of the loch to hear Pete the dragon and his band.
A worn out marquee displayed the name "Peter and the Dragons" in faded letters set in front of a flickering light in the ancient looking sign. The pub did not look much better. Nessie had heard of the Underwater Well but had never actually been.
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