Soon, with Christmas carols playing on the sound system, Ruth and the children became engrossed with decorating the tree with lights and tinsel. Finally it was time to add the baubles and ornaments.
“Ah hah!” she said, crawling over a few empty boxes to locate one she’d seen earlier that had the word ‘ornaments’ written on it. “I knew I’d seen it.” She opened the box and held up a few handmade ones for everyone to see.
“We made those!” Stuart exclaimed.
Ruth looked carefully at each ornament as she unwrapped them from their newspaper rolls. “I can tell. They’re lovely,” she said, turning over a small plaster ornament with what looked like an imprint of a chubby, toddler’s hand, painted red and green in the sloppy, loving way that only a child could do.
Bethany walked over and picked a similar one up, rolling it gently back and forth in her hand. She seemed to be contemplating saying something and Ruth immediately knew why.
“Did you make that with your mum?” she asked softly. She didn’t want to upset the girl, but she also wanted her to know it was okay, and even nice, to talk about her mother.
“It was the Christmas before she, before she—”
“Before God called your mother home?” Ruth supplied, gently taking the small round plaster ball from Bethany’s hand to look at.
“No,” Bethany said, swiping a stray tear that had begun to fall, her stoic bravery firmly back in place as she snatched the ornament back from Ruth. “God didn’t take Mum anywhere. She died. God isn’t real, just like Santa isn’t real. It’s all made up!”
“Oh, Bethany. God is real. And He loves you and He loves your mother so very much.”
“If He were real, He wouldn’t have let her get sick and die.” Her voice was flat, determined. “God never loved me. If He did, my mum would be here now, instead of you.”
Ouch. Bethany’s words stung, but the hurt in her voice squeezed Ruth’s heart until it ached. She was sure Bethany didn’t believe what she was saying, but she was in so much pain she was lashing out. It wasn’t surprising. What she’d been through would be enough to make even an adult struggle.
Ruth shifted closer to the girl who had sunk to her knees at the base of the Christmas tree and swiped at tears as she hung the small plaster ornament. Ruth wrapped her in her arms, and when Bethany finally allowed herself to shed tears, Ruth pulled her closer as the girl sobbed into her chest. “I know it’s hard,” Ruth said soothingly as she stroked her hair.
“It’s not fair,” Bethany choked through hard sobs. “It’s just not fair.”
“You’re right. It’s not fair,” was all Ruth could say. And she meant it. She knew God had a plan for each of them, but it didn’t make a little girl losing her mother any easier to bear.
As she hugged Bethany, she prayed silently for her, asking God to heal her hurting heart, and that she might come to know the love that passes all understanding, because nothing other than the healing love of God would truly help her.
Chapter 12
Jonathon wasn’t avoiding his family on purpose. The issues with the Christmas Eve Extravaganza had turned out to be much more complicated than simply hiring a replacement caterer. There’d also been trouble with the final inspection at the community centre. If he hadn’t spent the last two days calling in every favour he’d ever garnered with the city planning board, the community centre may not have opened in time to host the party.
There was no way he could leave so many families high and dry the day before Christmas, not with so much riding on the success of the Bayside project. And it wasn’t a task he felt comfortable palming off to any of his staff. It was his project, and he would see it through to completion.
But now he was bone tired. It was the first day in almost three that he’d been able to arrive home before midnight, and he was looking forward to seeing his kids. And if he were honest, he was also looking forward to seeing Ruth. Strictly professional of course. It had nothing to do with her soft, reassuring voice, or the tenderness she was showing his children. It was only curiosity that drove his desire to catch up with the new nanny. After all, what kind of boss would he be if he didn’t check in with his staff, and especially the new members?
The moment he walked into the house he sensed something was different. The normal entrance lights weren’t on. Instead, a warm glow emanated from a pair of holly wrapped candles on the mahogany entrance table, and lights twinkled on a Christmas tree in the far corner beside the Grant Featherston lounge chair his mother had bought recently to fill the empty space.
The tree was the formal one Larissa had always insisted be in the main entry to greet guests but since her passing had been stored in the garage.
Growing curious, he set his briefcase down and hurried to the living room, drawn by his youngest daughter’s giggles and his eldest daughter’s laughter. Nothing could have prepared him for the sight he walked in on.
Ruth was seated in the middle of the living room floor, surrounded by all three children dressed in holiday themed pyjamas, their attention focused wholly on her as she read to them, her face animated as she supplied the voices of the various characters.
And then his attention turned to the tree looming large over the room. It was draped with delicate tinsel and flashing lights, and from every branch hung ornaments of various shapes, sizes and colours, each holding precious memories. He felt a crack at the back of his throat.
Despite the memories invoked, the tree was a sight for his sore eyes. It was simply dazzling. He let out a small cough, and all three children, as well as Ruth, looked up. She successfully disarmed him with her smile.
“Dad!” Molly yelled as she jumped up and ran towards him. “Look what we did today with Ruth.” She flung her arms wide. “It looks like Christmas!”
Sweeping his youngest daughter in his arms, he spun her around. It didn’t matter how tired he was, because her enthusiasm invigorated him. “It looks great,” he said, before mouthing a thank you to Ruth who simply nodded. “It must have taken you guys all day.”
“It did. Dwayne helped before he had to go home for dinner,” Stuart added.
“Do you really like it, Dad?” Bethany asked.
He put Molly down and walked over to the tree, giving a good show of looking it up and down.
“Indeed, I do.” Decorating for Christmas was something Larissa had always enjoyed doing with the children, but in the past four years, while he ensured the children had presents to open on Christmas morning and they enjoyed a lovely dinner with his mother and stepfather, he would be the first to admit he didn’t give the holiday his all, not like he had when Larissa was alive. But now, looking at all the work his children and Ruth had put into decorating the tree and the house, he was happy they had. It looked wonderful.
The two younger children surrounded him at the tree, buzzing like busy bees showing him this ornament and that. Even Bethany was exhibiting a little enthusiasm, although she still hung back. He’d been missing this part of his children, but now, their frenetic energy filled him with joy.
Jonathan mentally admonished himself for working so much over the last few days. He’d been expending so much energy making Christmas a special time for others that he’d neglected the most important people in his world—his children. That ended now. He wouldn’t return to the office until Monday morning. He should have been here, decorating the tree with the children. He shouldn’t have left it to Ruth.
He glanced over at her, the twinkling lights from the tree throwing a warm glow against her tanned skin. He found himself entranced by her. She was wearing a snug fitting V-necked white top that accentuated her tan. And her curves. Not that he was looking. Loose tendrils of rich auburn hair trailed down her cheeks, giving her a youthful, innocent look. He gulped and quickly averted his gaze. Since when had little Ruthie Reynolds become so alluringly attractive?
She must have sensed his gaze on her because she pushed to her feet and brushed imaginary dirt from her capri pants while addres
sing the children. “All right, kids, it’s getting late and I’m sure your dad is tired. Why don’t we say goodnight?”
“Do we have to?” Molly pleaded.
“I think so. It’s way past your bedtime, young lady.” Ruth ruffled his youngest daughter’s hair and smiled.
“Me and Beth too?” Stuart asked. “We should be able to stay up longer since we’re older.”
“It’s past your bedtime too,” Jonathon said, “and it looks like you’ve had a busy day. I’ll be home all weekend so let’s plan to do something fun in the morning.”
“Really?” Stuart asked eagerly.
Once again, a pang of guilt hit Jonathon right in the solar plexus. Had he really been so absent that the suggestion of doing something fun together could make his son this excited? He nodded. “Really. No work for me this weekend.”
Stuart hugged him so tightly he almost lost his footing. “That’s cool, Dad. Can we go bike riding?”
Jonathon chuckled and hugged him back. “Maybe. We’ll talk about our options in the morning.”
“Okay. Can you put us to bed, then?”
“Sure. I don’t see why not. Come on.” He draped his arms around his two youngest children and walked with them up the stairs with Bethany following behind. Something had changed in his eldest daughter. It had to be Ruth. Already she was making a difference in his children’s lives.
A short while later, after the children were tucked in bed, Ruth was heading to her rooms when John asked if she’d like to join him for a drink. Despite her resolve to keep her emotional distance, her heart began to beat faster. He was close enough for her to see the stubble on his face and the dark circles under his eyes. His white business shirt had lost its crispness and was open at the neck, revealing wisps of dark hair.
She let out a sigh. She shouldn’t accept his offer, but she was helpless not to. “I’d love to. Thank you.” She walked with him downstairs to the living room.
“The house looks nice,” he said as he made his way to the drinks’ cabinet on the side wall.
“Thanks,” she replied. There was something different about John this evening, and she wasn’t sure how to respond. She was pleased he’d come in before midnight, and happier still that he wasn’t upset with the decorations. Not that she would have backed down. She had a speech prepared on the importance of Christmas for the children just in case he’d decided to take her to task for decorating the house without seeking his approval. But she was glad he didn’t seem to mind at all, and that he even seemed pleased.
“What would you like to drink? Wine? Soda? Coffee?”
“Can I be boring and just have water?”
“Sure. I’ll join you. Sparkling or still?”
“Still is fine, thanks.”
He took two long glasses from the shelf and placed several ice cubes in each before filling them with chilled water. He smiled as he handed her one. “Shall we sit?”
She nodded and headed to the couch closest to the tree. He sat opposite.
“Bethany seemed in a good mood tonight,” he said.
“That’s something I wanted to talk to you about. This afternoon she had a meltdown.”
“Really?”
Ruth nodded. “Yes, but it was good in many ways. I think she’s been bottling how she feels about everything.”
He sighed heavily. The ice in his glass tinkled as he swirled the water around. “That’s probably my fault.”
“How do you figure that?”
He paused before he looked up and held her gaze. “Because I’ve been bottling mine, too.”
Her heart beat a little faster. Although she knew he was talking about his feelings for Larissa, his voice, soft and gentle, slid under her skin and seeped into her bones. That wasn’t meant to happen. Not at all, but her heart was fluttering inside her chest and there was little she could do to stop it.
“I know I’ve buried myself in my work to avoid facing my grief, but lately I’ve felt a bubbling just below the surface, a build-up of ignored emotion, and I knew I’d have to face it sooner or later.”
“I’m…I’m sorry if I’ve done or said anything that’s made it worse.” Her voice faltered, and for a moment, she thought it would betray her.
He gave an unexpected chuckle. “Not at all. I’m thinking that maybe God sent you to rescue us.”
She blinked. She hadn’t seen that coming. Had she heard correctly? John thought God had sent her to rescue them? Goodness. “Did…did you know Bethany’s angry at Him?”
He winced. “That’s probably my fault, as well.” He paused. Took a slow breath. Stared at his glass. Tinkled the ice cubes. “When Larissa died, my faith was shaken, although hers never once wavered. It astounded me. She was in so much pain, yet she trusted God implicitly.” He met her gaze. “I still don’t understand why He didn’t heal her. She was a mother with three young children.” His voice caught and his eyes moistened.
“You don’t have to go on,” she said gently.
“It’s okay. It’s good to talk about it.”
“Yes, I agree. Talking helps. I won’t patronise you with platitudes, John. I’m sure you’ve had enough of those. I can’t even begin to imagine the grief you’ve felt, but I do know that Larissa wouldn’t want you wallowing in it for the rest of your life. She’d want you to appreciate every day and help your children to do the same.” Goodness. Where were these words coming from? Her heart pounded.
He looked stunned. She didn’t blame him. Shy little Ruthie Reynolds would never have spoken to him like that.
“I’m sorry, John. I didn’t mean to be quite so blunt.”
He drew a slow breath. “It’s okay. My mother’s been saying the same to me for years. I think the truth is that I just don’t want to let go.”
“Do you think you can try to start?”
He shrugged. “Maybe.”
“God loves you, John. He didn’t take Larissa away as a punishment. Don’t let what’s happened shake your faith in His unfailing love for you.”
“Sometimes He feels so far away.”
“You can do something about that.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“God hasn’t changed. He hasn’t moved. You have. You’ve taken your eyes off Him and put your focus on other things. Good things. Just not God.”
He blew out a long breath and ran his hand along the side of his head. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you go to church on Sunday, especially since Christmas is close and you’re home this weekend? It could be good for both you and the children.”
He stared at the tree as if he were thinking. Ruth sensed he was having an internal battle. She wondered how long it had been since he’d attended church with the kids. Finally, he replied, “Let me think about it.”
“Sure.” She smiled. God had His hand on him and the children and she needn’t worry. He was the One who would do the work in their hearts, not her.
Now seemed the perfect time for her to bring up one more subject. She took a deep breath. “There’s one more thing…”
He gave a small chuckle. “Yes?”
“Bethany wants to take surfing lessons.” Ruth held her breath, watching his face intently for his reaction.
“Surfing lessons?”
She nodded. “Yes. Surfing lessons. She was afraid to ask you. She wouldn’t tell me why she’s afraid, but I promised I’d talk to you about it. You should speak with her. She loves you and craves your approval, John. Supporting her could be a way for you to reconnect.” She swallowed hard. Had she overstepped the mark again?
“Surfing lessons, huh? In a million years I would never have guessed that.”
“I know. It surprised me, too, but she’s really keen. Will you speak with her about it?”
John’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “Yes, Ruth, I’ll talk with her about it.”
She chuckled. “Great. Thank you.” Pleased with how agreeable he was, she decided to quit while s
he was ahead. Setting her glass down on the side table, she stood and bid him goodnight while promising herself she’d do her best to think of Bethany, Stuart and Molly and not how the lights of the Christmas tree reflected on John’s skin, or his teeth when he smiled. Nor how her heart had skittered every time their gazes met.
“Goodnight, then,” she said as she headed out of the living room.
“Goodnight, Ruth,” he replied with a smile that could so easily be her undoing.
Chapter 13
The following morning, Ruth shifted the tray laden with pastries and other delicious breakfast items that Madeline had left on the patio out of her reach, and sat back in her chair to watch John playing with the children on the lawn. True to his word, he’d stayed home instead of going to the office, and the children, especially Stuart and Molly, were having a ball with him. How much happier they’d be if only he’d spend more time with them.
“It’s nice to see them laughing.”
Ruth turned and smiled at John’s mother, Peggy, who was walking towards her carrying a carafe of coffee and two mugs.
“I couldn’t agree more. Let me help with that.” Ruth pushed her chair back and stood, preparing to help the older woman.
“Nonsense. Sit down and enjoy a well-deserved break.”
Ruth sat. She knew better than to argue with the stately woman.
Peggy proceeded to pour two mugs of coffee and then handed one to Ruth. While she sipped her coffee, Peggy turned her focus to the group on the lawn. “You’ve been very good for them, and I don’t just mean the children.”
A warm blush crept up Ruth’s neck and into her face. “Th…thank you.” Goodness, what a way to start a conversation.
“Jonathon told me you knew each other as children.”
Billionaires with Heart Boxset: Christian Romance Series Page 41
