Ruth chuckled, relaxing slightly as she met his gaze. “Funny, because I always thought you were. She always asked you to help with the rowdy boys. Do you remember how much fun the holiday parties were? Speaking of holiday parties, how is the Christmas Eve Extravaganza coming along?”
“Are you avoiding the question, Ruth?”
She winced. “Maybe a little.” Her voice was shakier than she would have liked and her heart thumped. “It’s not so easy to admit certain things, you know.” She let out a small, nervous laugh. “It was you, John. I had a crush on you.”
His brows shot up.
Just then, her phone rang. She looked down, grateful for the diversion. David’s smiling face appeared on the screen. “I’ve got to take this, sorry. Will you be okay with the children?” She showed John the screen.
He chuckled and shook his head. “Convenient escape plan.” He shooed her away with a wave of his hand.
Ruth took three deep breaths before she was calm enough to speak. She still couldn’t believe she’d confessed to John that he was her crush. Goodness. What had come over her? “Hello, David,” she finally answered as she headed towards the end of the pool.
Chapter 15
When Ruth walked away to take the call from her son, Jonathon took a moment to digest the two pieces of news he’d just received. His daughter had a crush on a boy, and Ruth had had a crush on him when they were kids. Bethany was growing up and he’d almost missed it by being too busy with work. But he felt inadequate. How could he help her through her teenage years on his own? A girl needed a mother. Someone like Ruth. He drew a slow breath. How strange to learn she’d had a crush on him. To be honest, she’d been so quiet back then he’d hardly given her a second look. But now? She’d bloomed into an amazing woman and he’d be blind not to notice her. But could he let go of his memories and open his heart to a new love? When Larissa died, he never thought he could love again, but then, he’d not met anyone like Ruth until now.
“Dad! Are you coming in?” Molly called from the side of the pool.
“Yes, sweetheart. I still need to get changed but I’ll be there in a flash.”
“Good.” She dove under the water and disappeared for a few seconds before reappearing several metres away, a huge grin on her face. “You’ll have to find me! We’re playing Marco Polo.”
Marco Polo? He hadn’t played that since he was a boy. “Okay. I’ll be there in a tick.”
He quickly headed into the changing rooms and put on his swimming trunks he kept in a locker before heading back out to find Molly. Just as he spied her, he also spied Ruth sitting on the other side of the complex deep in conversation. His heart did a small flip. She was certainly a sight for sore eyes. She looked up and for a moment their gazes met before she looked away. No doubt her confession had embarrassed her as much as it had surprised him, but there was no time to explore that further right now. His children were calling him.
The party continued for the next two hours. Jonathon couldn’t believe how much energy the children had nor how much food they consumed. But he was pleased to see them having fun. Even Bethany, although it concerned him that she was spending more time with the boys instead of the girls, and one boy in particular. He forced himself not to grow anxious. Like Ruth said, it was normal for her to be interested in boys at her age.
When it was time for the guests to leave, he stood at the entrance to the complex and spoke with each of the parents. Some he knew, some he didn’t. However, they all seemed to know him and thanked him profusely for inviting their kids over. He was tempted to say it was the nanny’s idea, but thought better of it.
Once they’d all left, he slipped his arms around Stuart’s and Molly’s shoulders as they walked back to where the food tables were set. Bethany was nowhere to be seen, and that concerned him a little. He knew the boy had left. He’d made a point of introducing himself to his father, a decent man with a good sense of humour. And Ruth’s words had stuck in his mind… it’s better for you as her parent to know what she’s doing than for her to go behind your back. He therefore thought it wise to meet the boy’s parents. And the boy. He’d shaken hands with him and looked him in the eye. To his credit, the boy had a good handshake although his face coloured. Not a bad thing, he’d decided.
“Dad, do we have to help clean up?” Stuart asked. Jonathon gave him credit. It wasn’t as much a whine as a simple question. The party was over and the kids were tuckered out.
“Tell you what,” he replied, spying Ruth coming out of the kitchen entrance with a couple of empty trays in her hands. “If you and Molly help load all those trays with the leftover food and take it in to Madeline, you don’t have to do any more clean-up. You can go upstairs, have your showers and get ready for bed. Deal?”
Stuart looked back towards Ruth and then at Molly. “Deal,” they said in unison and ran off to grab the trays.
Jonathon noted their conspiratorial grins. They thought they were pulling one over him by agreeing, when in reality it was part of his plan to get them upstairs and into bed without argument.
“That was a smart way to get them to help,” Ruth said after the children had filled the trays and disappeared into the house, her embarrassment seemingly forgotten.
“I thought so,” he said. “I may have won the battle, but I think the war will be long and arduous.” He bowed deeply, doing his best impression of a weary naval admiral.
Ruth chuckled. He liked that he could make her laugh.
“I saw you talking to Bethany,” she said, moving around the pavilion picking up trash and pulling down the withered paper decorations.
“Yes, I spoke with her about those surfing lessons.”
“That’s great,” she said, her eyes beaming.
John smiled back. He knew he shouldn’t feel proud of doing what should be regular fatherly duties, but he did, and he wanted Ruth to be proud of him too.
“She must be excited,” she said.
“She is. It’s nice to see her enthused about something again.”
“I agree. I’ll reach out tomorrow morning and see how we can get her registered.”
“That would be great. By the way, do you know where she is?”
“She offered to help Madeline in the kitchen.”
“Really?”
Ruth nodded.
“Well, I’ll be.”
“She’s coming out of her shell, John.”
“So it seems.” He wondered once again how this woman had achieved so much in such a short amount of time.
“How was your phone call, by the way?” he asked a moment later.
“David’s doing really well,” she replied with a touch of sadness in her voice. “He’s moving on to another place soon and he doesn’t know when he’ll be able to call again, so he wanted to say Happy Christmas, just in case he missed me on the actual day.” Her voice caught in her throat. It was obvious she missed her son.
“It must be hard to have him so far away at this time of year,” he said, straightening and glancing at the house. “I’m just starting to realise how quickly my three are growing up.”
“Yes, it happens in a blink. But I couldn’t be prouder of David. He’s a wonderful young man.”
“If he’s anything like his mother, I would know that to be true.” He’d intended his words to be a compliment, but to his ears, they sounded like a pick-up line.
They must have confused her as well because she began wiping a table that was already clean.
An awkward silence hung between them for several minutes before the children returned to say goodnight. “I’ll take them up and put them to bed,” he told her after they’d each given her a hug.
She nodded and gave a tenuous smile. He needed to talk to her, tell her he was sorry for making her uncomfortable, but right now, his children needed him.
Everything was clean and tidy. Madeline was preparing to go home and Bethany was about to head upstairs to take a shower. Ruth had hoped she’d also be upstairs safe
ly ensconced in her room before John reappeared. That wasn’t the case. Moments after she’d said goodbye to Madeline, she was following Bethany up the stairs and came face to face with him.
He stopped to say goodnight to Bethany and then met Ruth’s gaze. Her heart thudded again. How could she have been so impetuous? Revealing her innermost secret to John had been stupid. Now her heart was exposed and everything he said or did from now on would make her wary. On edge. Like his earlier statement. Oh, how she wished she could take it all back. But now it had been said, it couldn’t be unsaid. If it wasn’t for the children, she’d be out of here like a flash. But she couldn’t leave them. Not this close to Christmas. Somehow, she’d have to protect her heart and avoid John.
“We need to talk,” he said.
She swallowed hard and nodded.
“Come and have a drink.”
She grimaced but said okay. It was probably better to talk about it than allow it to be a simmering undercurrent for the remainder of her tenure. But how she wished she could turn the clock back.
“Lemon soda?” he asked when they reached the kitchen.
She nodded again. “That would be nice, thanks.” Her voice was wobbly and she felt nauseous.
“Let’s sit outside. It’s a lovely evening,” he said.
She followed him out onto the patio. He was right. She’d been so busy cleaning up after the party and chastising herself over her faux pas that she hadn’t really noticed. Living in the city, she rarely looked into the night sky, but here, away from competing city lights, the stars shone like diamonds.
“We need to clear the air,” he said.
“We do. I’m sorry for what I said, John. It’s made our working relationship difficult and awkward. I can leave tomorrow if you’d like.”
A deep frown creased his forehead. “Don’t do that. The children would never forgive me if you left. But I was going to apologise for what I said. I meant it as a compliment, nothing else.”
Relief, tinged with a little disappointment, flowed through her. Part of her had wanted it to be more than that. But no. It would never work. Their worlds were too far apart. “There’s no need to apologise. I took it as none other than a compliment.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
She offered him a warm smile. “I don’t, John. And I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, either.”
“I don’t.”
Nether were being completely truthful, but at least they’d addressed the issue.
“I’m pleased you’ve been spending more time with the children. They really loved having you around this weekend. They’re so much happier. Your mother, stepfather, and even Madeline have noticed.”
“About that…”
Ruth angled her head. She sensed what was coming. “Yes…”
“I’ll be at the office more than normal for the rest of the week, putting the final touches to the Christmas Eve Extravaganza.”
“I see.”
“I’ve already lost valuable office time by taking the whole of last weekend off, and now the pool party. Not that I’ve regretted any of it, but now I have full days ahead of me. It’s important that the Extravaganza goes off without a hitch,” he explained, a little too quickly, as if justifying himself. “Top tier city officials are planning on attending, and securing rights to future projects hinges on their approval. This event can cinch that for us. It’s extremely important.”
“But John, your kids need you too. They’re just starting to get used to having you around more.”
“I feel bad, but it can’t be helped. As well as the Extravaganza, the first block of apartments is releasing this week and we still have a few issues with getting the final sign-off.”
Mixed feelings surged through her. One of those apartments would be hers if her loan got approved—she should know in the next day or so. But surely John had staff to look after these finer details. She asked him.
“Yes, of course I have staff. But I like to be there to oversee.”
And to be in control? She didn’t say that, but it was obvious that he was still using work to hide. Perhaps he’d been hiding for so long he’d forgotten how to step back and allow others to step in.
“You said you were going to address that. It seems you haven’t.” Goodness. There she went again. Overstepping the mark as if she were his wife, not his employee. Words she thought, but never meant to say, kept popping out of her mouth. And the tone she’d used had been judgmental. Terse.
His face grew red and his mouth took on an unpleasant twist. “I think you should leave.”
She stood there, shocked. Stunned. John had fired her. It was probably for the best, but sudden, explicable loss squeezed her heart. “I’m so sorry, John. I never should have said that. But you’re right. It would be best if I leave. I’ll go first thing in the morning.”
Jonathon looked at Ruth, hard. He could see the determination in her eyes and heard it in her voice. Her words had stung, although he knew them to be true. But could he allow her to leave? The children would never forgive him. And he wouldn’t find another suitable nanny this close to Christmas. Not one as suitable as Ruth, anyway.
“Ruth, please don’t go. You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I have been hiding. I know I can’t keep doing so. The children need me, but I have to take it slowly. This development has consumed me. But I believe in it passionately. I feel guilty that I have so much when others have so little, and I want to give them the best leg up in life I can offer. I love the Bayside area. It’s where my heart is. This home was Larissa’s dream more than mine, but now that she’s gone, it’s impossible to leave it.”
“And neither should you, John. This is your children’s home, and as long as you build memories with them, like the pool party tonight, it will be a special place for you all. I admire what you’re doing in Bayside. It’s a wonderful development. In fact, I’m buying one of the apartments myself.”
Stunned, he stared at her. Ruth’s buying one of the Bayside apartments? By the look on her face, he sensed she hadn’t meant to blurt it out. Much like she hadn’t meant to tell him she’d had a crush on him when they were young. Nor confronted him about him hiding his grief. But Ruth Taylor was nothing if not honest, and once again she was uncomfortable. But more than that was the implication of what she’d said. If she was buying one the apartments, she definitely wasn’t planning on sticking around. That realisation hit him like a punch to his solar plexus, leaving him with an inexplicable feeling of emptiness. “Really? Fancy that!”
“Yes. I’m tired of renting, and when I saw the new development, I decided to put an offer in on one of the apartments.”
“I’m sure you’ll enjoy living there.”
“I’m sure I will.” She pulled her gaze from his and stared at her empty glass. “I’ll stay until after the holiday period as per our original agreement, but then I’ll be leaving to move into the apartment. Assuming the finance is approved.”
Wow. That she needed to apply for finance for a tiny apartment when he owned the entire complex must be galling for her. He almost felt like giving it to her. A strange thought, but something inside him was changing. The truth was that he didn’t want her to leave. Ever. “Okay. I appreciate that. And let’s put the awkwardness behind us. For the children’s sake.”
When she looked up and nodded and their gazes connected and held, he had to fight the overwhelming desire to hold her.
Chapter 16
Jonathon rubbed his temples and leaned back in his chair as he stared out his office window across the bay. Christmas Eve was only two days away and everything for the big event was finally in place. So why was he still here?
Most of the staff had already left for the holiday, and even Mrs. Shields was taking a much-deserved break until the morning of the event. Yet here he was, sitting in his office, alone. Ruth had been right. He’d been using work to hide from his grief over losing Larissa for so long it had become a
habit. He chose to work instead of being at home with his children. What kind of father would do that?
His thoughts returned to Sunday, when sitting at church with the children, his parents, and Ruth, had almost felt normal. Could he have normal again? Was it possible to move on from the numbness that had replaced his initial anger following Larissa’s death and begin feeling again? Maybe… Something was stirring inside him and feelings and emotions he’d thought long dead were twisting around his heart.
Just that morning he’d had an unexpected visit from his mother. Mathew had gone into respite care for the day and she’d come into the city for a day of Christmas shopping. When she invited him to have lunch with her, he knew what was coming. A good talking to. She hadn’t disappointed him. They’d gone to the restaurant on the next floor down in the Towers, and while they ate, she’d asked him why he was at the office when he didn’t need to be.
“I know you’re hiding yourself away, Jonathon. A mother can tell,” she’d said. “You think the pain will go away if you throw yourself into your work, but hiding away isn’t the solution. You won’t be able to move forward until you let God heal your pain. It’s God’s love that helps us through the darkest times and helps us to see the strength within ourselves to keep moving forward when all seems lost. Larissa would want you to be happy again and she’d also want you to find peace with God.”
She was right. After listening to the sermon on Sunday, he’d felt a softening in his heart towards God but had been trying to ignore it since. But now, sitting in his office, alone, he felt the need to get right with Him.
Spinning his chair around, he shut his computer off and headed for the door.
Twenty minutes later, he stepped out of the taxi he’d hailed outside the office and began walking slowly down Hunter Street. Terraced houses decorated with Christmas tinsel and lights looped along iron balconies stretched both ways as far as the eye could see. Children playing on the footpath looked up as he dodged around them; an old Jack Russell yapped as he paused at number thirty-one.
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