The smell of pine wafted up his nose and Adam stared broodingly at the bloody great fir in front of him. How ironic that he’d come here to escape Christmas, and ended up dressed as sodding Father Christmas, surrounded by fairy lights, bells and a herd of flashing reindeer.
The sound of excited chatter echoed down the corridor and he sat up straighter, trying to change his expression from what he knew must be a scowl, into something more pleasant. A glance at his hands found them gripping the arms of the chair as if it was the last life-raft on a sinking ship.
Relax, damn it.
He was starting to inhale a deep breath when Faith’s head popped round the corner. She looked at him in alarm – clearly his more pleasant expression was still way off the mark.
Before he could practise anything further though, two small bodies appeared from behind her. It was almost comical the way they froze, jamming their small hands over their mouths.
‘Father Christmas,’ the girl said in an awed whisper.
Adam opened his mouth to speak, but his throat was so tight he had to cough and start again. ‘You must be Sally.’
Her eyes grew huge. ‘Yes.’
‘Do you know who I am?’ Inwardly he cringed. Of course she bloody did. She’d just said it.
Thankfully Sally didn’t seem to think his question was odd. ‘You’re Father Christmas.’
‘That’s right.’ He held up his gloved hand and pointed towards the boy standing next to her. ‘Is this your brother, Robert?’
Both of them nodded, staring at him as if he was something incredible. He wasn’t.
A red suit couldn’t change what he’d done.
Nausea rose into the back of his throat and Adam fought to swallow it down. Fought to focus not on himself but the two bright-eyed kids in front of him. Christmas might be forever tainted for him, but he had a shot at making it special for these two.
He beckoned them closer and when he saw the excitement burst through their eyes he didn’t have to force his smile. ‘So, what would you two kids like for Christmas?’
Chapter Seventeen
The day before Christmas
Christmas Eve morning. Faith stirred, her heart lifting when she felt the heavy weight of Adam’s arm around her. Clearly sensing her movement, he tightened his hold, moving her back closer to his chest.
She sighed, keeping still, wanting to prolong this moment when everything felt so perfect between them. When there were no barriers separating them.
All too soon he’d be fully awake, and though his seemingly inexhaustible libido would keep the physical barriers at bay, the mental ones would go straight up. She’d look into his expressive eyes and know he was holding things back from her. Things that upset him, that made him sad.
When she’d watched him with Sally and Robert last night, her heart had ached. The Leightons would only have seen their kids, and the expressions of delight on their faces. Faith had been watching Adam, his own face going through a myriad of different emotions. First fear, which had stopped her in her tracks, though thankfully hadn’t put off the kids. As he’d started talking to them he’d looked worried, clearly fretting he was going to ruin their big moment. It had been the anguish she’d seen when the kids had said goodbye though, that had ripped her in two. In that moment, she’d hated herself for what she was unwittingly putting him through.
As the sounds of Sally and Robert’s excited chatter had drifted down the corridor, Faith had taken Adam’s hand and led him quietly up to her room, all the time regretting her promise not to ask him about his past.
Behind her Adam nuzzled her neck. ‘Morning.’
His hand moved from her waist to her breasts, his mouth planting teasing kisses along her back.
Faith pushed out her thoughts and relaxed into the moment.
Later, as she got dressed, she heard a buzzing coming from the sitting room. After slipping on her jacket, she went to hunt down the noise.
She found a mobile phone under the coffee table. It must have fallen out of Adam’s pocket last night.
A glance at the caller ID showed Emma (sis).
She frowned, sure that when she’d asked if he had any family, he’d said not really. The sister, because surely that’s what “(sis)” meant, must be estranged. In which case the call might be urgent.
And Adam had taken the dogs for a walk.
Heart thumping, she pressed answer.
‘Adam? I can’t believe you’ve finally picked up.’
‘Umm, it’s not Adam.’ She heard the swift inhale at the other end and rushed on. ‘I’m Faith Watkins. I own the hotel where Adam’s staying. I … found his phone ringing so I picked it up.’
‘Oh, right. His work said he was on holiday. Well, when you see him, please can you tell him Emma phoned? Perhaps you could also add that this time she’s expecting her call to be returned. I can’t tell you how many messages I’ve left him. Anyone would think he’s avoiding me.’ Faith was about to press disconnect when Emma added. ‘Where is your hotel, by the way?’
‘The Lake District.’
‘Ahh, such a lovely part of the world. What’s the hotel called?’
‘The Old Mill. We’re a new boutique hotel.’ As Faith switched automatically into marketing mode, giving Emma a quick run-down of where they were and what she could expect to find, she started to feel a ripple of unease. Maybe she shouldn’t have told Emma where the hotel was? Maybe there was a reason Adam was avoiding his sister. And a reason why he’d lied about not having one. ‘We hope to welcome you here soon,’ she ended, hoping to God she hadn’t just made one humdinger of a mistake.
She was on the reception desk when Adam came up to her, his cheeks flushed from walking outside in what looked to be Artic conditions. Snow was forecast later in the day. Robert and Sally were going to be delighted. It would be a white Christmas.
‘Did the dogs behave for you?’
He grunted, though she was sure there was an edge of affection in his voice when he replied. ‘If you call yanking on the lead, yapping at every passerby and trying to chase birds behaving, then yes. They’re back at yours, flaked out.’ He scratched at the back of his head. ‘I saw Giles on the way back. His electricity still hasn’t come on. The electrician said he’s fully booked and can’t come out till Boxing Day.’
Faith looked at him in surprise. ‘I didn’t know you’d met the neighbours.’ She could have added, then again, there’s a lot I don’t know about you.
He gave her a small smile. ‘Been here nine days. I’m getting to be part of the furniture.’
But in two more, you’ll be going. The thought sent a nasty twist through her chest. ‘Thanks for letting me know. I’ll pop over and see Giles when Chloe gets in.’ She hesitated, feeling suddenly nervous. ‘While you were out you had a call on your mobile.’ He frowned, patting at the pockets of his jeans. ‘I found the phone under my coffee table. The call was from your sister.’
His big body froze and she could almost see each of his muscles tensing. ‘I don’t have a sister.’
‘Emma?’
Anger flashed in his eyes. ‘You answered my phone?’
She felt a ripple of irritation at his accusation. ‘Only because I thought it was your sister. It said Emma (sis).’
‘I know more than one Emma. That one’s my sister-in-law.’
Her heart jumped into the back of her throat. ‘You’re married?’
‘No.’ He stared at her, exhaling sharply. ‘I was. She left me.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry.’ It explained a great deal, she thought as his words slowly began to sink in. ‘Did she leave you around Christmas?’ she asked softly.
He nodded curtly, sticking out his hand. ‘Can I have my phone back?’
His tone was that of a stranger and Faith had to force back the hurt tha
t threatened to swamp her. He hadn’t wanted her to find out about his divorce, she reminded herself. He’s just reacting. ‘I’m sorry for answering it,’ she said quietly, handing it over. ‘I didn’t do it to be nosey. I just thought it might be important.’
His eyes narrowed, his expression so horribly guarded. ‘Did she say what she wanted?’
‘Just for you to return her call. She sounded very friendly.’ In a bid to lighten the tension, Faith added, ‘I might have persuaded her to pay the hotel a visit.’
He gave her a look of what she could only describe as horror. ‘You didn’t tell her where I was?’
Oh bugger. ‘I’m really sorry. I didn’t think it was a secret.’
‘Bloody hell.’ Grey eyes flashed with more than anger now. He looked livid, the veins on his neck bulging as he struggled to control his temper. ‘It wasn’t your place to answer my phone. It certainly wasn’t your place to let the caller know where I was.’
‘It didn’t happen like that.’ He was making her feel terrible and she didn’t like it one little bit. ‘We just got talking about the hotel because she likes the Lakes. She sounded anxious to hear from you,’ Faith added pointedly. ‘Said she’d already left you lots of messages.’
Faith’s accusing stare, the truth of her words, took the wind out of Adam’s self-righteous anger. He was still annoyed though, not so much with Faith, but with the circumstances. He felt as if his bolt-hole had been violated. His chance of leaving Faith without her knowing the type of man he was, detonated into a million sharp fragments.
Why was Emma hounding him like this? Hadn’t she taken the hint by now? He didn’t want to see her. Didn’t want to see her family. Didn’t want any reminders of that part of his life.
Faith was staring at him, hurt and confusion in her eyes. ‘Why are you avoiding your ex-wife’s sister?’
Adam felt his life closing back in on him. All he’d wanted was a break, a chance to get away from the shitty season and be someone different for a while. That chance was rapidly disappearing down the plughole. ‘That’s my business, don’t you think?’
Tears welled in her eyes and Adam instantly felt like the prick that he was. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean it to come out the way it did.’
She bit into her lip, lowering her eyes so he couldn’t see into them. ‘You’re right. I apologise for overstepping my mark. It won’t happen again.’ She turned away. ‘I hope you have a pleasant day.’
The finality in her tone almost crushed him. He wanted to reach out to her. Tell her he was a stupid git who’d panicked at the possibility of being forced to face the woman he’d been avoiding for so long. But that would mean him having to explain himself further. Having to tell her why Ruth had left him.
Reluctantly he took a step away. And then another one. And then another until he was striding away from Faith towards his room.
Once there he slammed the door shut and sank onto the bed, shoving his head in his hands. What the hell did he do now? He could remove his SIM card. Pretend he hadn’t got the message. That his phone had died.
Even he wasn’t that much of a cowardly bastard. Was he?
He cursed, aware he was overreacting. So, Emma knew where he was. It wasn’t like she was going to drive all the way up here to see him.
Fingers shaking, he put the phone onto the bedside table. He’d call her back later, after he’d been to the gym. And after he’d rehearsed what he wanted to say.
Thankfully Faith was in her office when he slipped past the reception. The gym was deathly quiet. Clearly most people had better things to do on Christmas Eve than work out. Adam ran on the treadmill for a few miles before going through a vigorous weights routine, taking solace from being able to focus on the pain in his exhausted muscles, rather than the mess in his head.
When he left several hours later, his body energised, his mind calmer, he was shocked to find himself walking into a blizzard. Snow was blanketing down, covering the car park in a thin layer. Instantly his head filled with images from three years ago and he swore, throwing his gym bag into the back of his four by four, kicking at the tyres. Tears pricked as he jumped inside and slumped over the wheel, holding his head in his hands.
Leave me alone, he wanted to scream. First Emma, now the snow. He’d had it with fucking reminders.
Inhaling a deep, shuddering breath he forced himself to sit up. Crying in a car park wasn’t going to help. He had to get back to the hotel before the roads became impassable.
His heart was pounding as he set off, wipers swishing the splatters of snow from side to side, hands clenched tightly round the steering wheel.
Three miles, that was all he needed to get through. Three miles and he’d be back at the hotel. It was eerily quiet on the roads. Eerily quiet in the car, too. He didn’t put the radio on, not wanting anything to distract his attention from the dangerous conditions.
Don’t think about anything but the here and now, he told himself, repeating it as a mantra as he crept along the slushy road. His shoulders began to relax as he saw the hotel.
But then they froze again, his heart lurching, as the car in front of him skidded round the corner, into the ditch.
He was acting on autopilot. Adam knew it, and was immensely grateful for it. As he helped the shaking lady into his car he refused, even for one second, to allow his mind to dwell on the fact that she was pregnant. No. He wasn’t going there.
‘I’ll take you to the hotel I’m staying in,’ he told the family as he set off, hands gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned as white as the snow he was edging across. In the back seat the husband had his arms around his wife. Next to him in the passenger seat, the teenage boy sat quietly, his face pale. ‘You can phone the breakdown services from the hotel.’
The man nodded, eyes fixed on his wife. Adam’s heart began to thump violently and he clutched even tighter to the wheel. Don’t go there.
‘Where were you heading?’ he asked, not because he was interested but because they all needed some normal conversation to divert them from the what-if scenarios racing through their heads. What if the baby is hurt? What if we’d hit another car instead of a ditch?
What if we’d stayed at home …?
‘Ambleside.’
The answer came from the boy. It forced Adam’s thoughts back to the present, where they should be. Away from the past, where he didn’t want them. ‘Visiting relatives?’
‘My grandparents.’
Adam nodded, carefully turning into the hotel car park. He doubted the boy would get to see his grandparents today. Not if the snow kept coming down like it was.
He stopped the car right outside the hotel and jumped out, staggering as his feet hit the snow-covered gravel. Shit, his legs felt like blancmange. Hands on his knees he bent over and took in several steadying breaths. When his legs felt like part of him again, he slammed the car door shut and started towards the hotel.
Chapter Eighteen
From having a quiet hotel, Faith was suddenly inundated with guests. First had come her neighbour Giles and his wife Margaret. For all that she was still cursing Adam from their altercation earlier, she was grateful he’d let her know the pair were suffering with no electricity. Although they’d insisted they were fine, Faith had practically pushed them over to the hotel.
‘Nae lass, we don’t want to be a bother to thee,’ Giles had told her in his broad Cumbrian accent.
‘Then you need to come and stay with me until your electricity is fixed,’ she’d insisted. ‘Otherwise I’ll spend my Christmas worrying about you. And I don’t charge my neighbours,’ she’d added, in case it was the financial side putting them off.
Giles had grinned, displaying a set of bottom teeth that looked uncannily like those of his sheep. ‘We don’t accept charity. Though we’re not averse to a bit of neighbourly discount.’
>
Within an hour she’d had them settled in a room with a view of their farm.
Then the snow had started to fall.
And fall.
She’d turned helplessly to Chloe. ‘I’m not sure the bus is going to get through that. You might be stuck here tonight.’
Chloe had done her usual shoulder shrug. ‘I don’t mind. We’re having lunch here tomorrow anyway, right?’
The realisation had pushed Faith into action and she’d quickly called Hope and Charity. Within an hour of her call, they’d arrived with their respective husbands, their overnight bags, and baby Jack, who’d been in a far better mood than his previous visit.
No matter what the weather decided to throw at them from that point on, Faith knew her family – minus Jason who’d be with his in-laws – would be together tomorrow.
It was then her mind had turned to Adam. She knew he’d gone to the gym – Chloe had told her she’d seen him leave with his sports bag. She also knew he had a four-wheel drive, so he’d be fine. As she’d watched the snow flurry turn into more of a blizzard, the green fields – and roads – slowly turn white, she’d repeated those words to herself.
And the more she’d worried, the angrier she’d become with herself. He’d made it quite clear his life wasn’t any of her business.
How foolish of her then, how utterly stupid, to have fallen for him. Oh, she knew it had only been nine days. What were days crossed off on a calendar though, when it came to matters of the heart? What she felt for Adam far eclipsed anything she’d ever felt after two years of dating Patrick.
Feeling miserable, frustrated, hurt and horribly sorry for herself, Faith had been relieved when the phone had rung.
When she’d ended the call, she’d found herself with another two bookings for the day.
And another reason for Adam to be angry with her.
Her heart jumped as the man himself rushed through the door, his huge frame brimming with an urgency she’d not seen in him before. Snow had settled on him, a bright white dusting against the dark of his hair.
A Little Christmas Faith (Choc Lit) Page 14
