Even my name, Crash. It was like a self-fulfilling prophesy. The name had stuck from when I was a teen, getting into fights and stamping my authority over the other kids. My friends said I was like a car crash, wrecking lives and causing pain.
Great friends they were.
I liked the name at first. It went with my bad boy image, this merciless motherfucker who'd take no shit from anyone.
“Crash is coming, and he'll fuck you up.”
No one messed with my brothers, no one messed with my friends. And not only because my father was Charles Logan.
Because I was Crash Logan.
....
I sudden knock at the door broke me from my thoughts.
I looked up to see Kyle standing behind the glass, a stern look on his face. And they say I'm intense. The way Kyle's been recently I wouldn't be surprised if he developed a worse reputation than me soon enough.
“Elle, there's my 2.30. He doesn't look like he'll want to be kept waiting.”
She glanced through the glass at Kyle. “Yeah, I'll go. I don't wanna get caught in another one of your slanging matches.”
It seemed that drink had loosened her tongue slightly as a grin swept over her face. It was cute, like the rest of her.
“Thanks again for the help, and the drink,” she said as she stood.
I walked her to the door and ushered her out, watching Kyle eye her closely as she passed by him. There looked to be an element of distrust in his eye. Or maybe it was just confusion at seeing her in my office.
“You move fast brother. She only just arrived yesterday.”
I walked around to the other side of my desk and sat down in my chair. “Not what you think, and not why you're here.” I didn't have any interest in small talk with Kyle. Not right now.
“Sit down, you look uncomfortable lingering there.” I could see his expression hardening at my words. He'd never liked taking orders from me.
He slowly pulled out the chair opposite me and sat down, staring at me the entire time. Our relationship had been strained ever since our father died, ever since I'd taken up the mantle of being head of the family. I guess taking orders from dad was one thing, taking orders from a brother only two years your senior another.
I understood where he was coming from. I wasn't so arrogant and conceited that I couldn't put myself in his shoes.
But there was more to it than that. Kyle had spoken to me of his desire to do something else with his life, move somewhere else and start afresh. He wanted to take Alice with him, this girl he'd only known a few months.
It wasn't our fathers' wish. It wasn't his will.
I was his will now, and his voice. If Kyle was to leave, he'd be cut from our inheritance, his lines of credit removed, his fancy lifestyle no more.
He sat there now, ahead of me, an anger in his eyes. I could feel it radiating from him. He'd been like that for weeks.
“It's time we cleared the air Kyle,” I said, trying to sound as pragmatic as possible. “You're my brother, and I love you. We should be closer now that father's gone, not divided.”
“I agree. You can start by not trying to rule me like a fucking peasant.” His words were heavily set with resentment.
“Rule you?” Do you really think I'm trying to rule you?”
“You're forcing me to stay in a job I can't do any more Crash. I can't run that club. It's not right for me now. Not with...” he stopped short before finishing the sentence but I finished it for him.
“Alice.” I said.
His eyes flashed at the sound of her name and he nodded.
“You know how father would feel about her Kyle. You never mix business with pleasure. You're disrespecting him with her.”
He gritted his teeth, his eyes deeply set in his skull. There seemed to be so much he wanted to say, but he wouldn't spill it up.
“I love her Crash. I can't help that.”
I sat up and leaned in, seeing his eyes soften. “You love her? How can you love a girl like that?”
He stood up fast, the chair he was sitting on flying backwards. “Don't you fucking dare talk about her like that. You don't know anything about her.”
I raised my hand in apology. “You're right, I don't. I'm sorry.”
He gathered the chair and sat back down, his eyes still fiery.
“What would you do then?” he said. “If you were in my position, what would you do?”
“I'd honor our fathers wishes, his will.”
He sat back in his chair, tilting his chin to the heavens, and laughed. “Of course you would. You're the golden child, the second coming of Charles Logan, the man who'd do anything to honor his lordly father.” His words were full of sarcasm and bitterness. I never knew he harbored such feelings towards me, or dad.
“So what would you like me to do? Ignore fathers wishes, let you run off with your little girlfriend and fuck around with his money? You know the will, Kyle. If you leave the family business, you're cut.”
“I won't fuck around with his money!” he shouted, his voice rising. “I just want to do something else in the business, get away from that fucking club. I've served my time there, let me run the bar and Jude can take the club.”
I sat and thought. What could be so bad about running a strip club. Hell, I knew a lot of people who'd kill for a job like that.
“You never seemed to hate the job so much before? What's changed?”
He sat up straight and looked me straight in the eye, his eyebrows raising slightly. “You know what's changed Crash, don't act dumb.”
That fucking girl. Always a fucking girl.
I thought for a moment. I wanted to build bridges with him, I wanted him to be happy. Perhaps it was time for him to move on, leave the club, step up to work with me at my side.
“There is something I'm working on. It's big.” I said finally, seeing his eyes rise to mine.
“What?” he asked quickly, an interest creeping into his voice.
“It's a long term project, something that will put everything else in its shadow, even this place.”
I could see his eyes sparkle with intrigue.
“Look, there's nothing finalized about it all yet. I don't know whether it's going to go through. If it does though, maybe you could help me with it, or run this place or something?”
He nodded slowly, his eyes growing wider with a sense of hope.
“I'd like that Crash.”
“For now, though, I need you back at the club. I'll think about a replacement for you. Not Jude, it's too much for him. I'll think of someone else.”
He stood up and looked me straight in the eye. “You know, maybe I was wrong about you. Maybe you're not such a dick after all.” The corners of his mouth crept up in a smile, his eyes narrowing.
I love you too brother.
Chapter 6 - Elle
Elle
I stood in a long white corridor staring at a noticeboard. In front of me were a series of timetables, but I only had my eye on one of them.
I traced my eyes over it, looking for my preferences.
Contemporary, Jazz, Latin, Street, Ballet. The list of different styles went on, each one with several classes for beginners through to experienced dancers throughout the week.
I was stood in a local dance school nearby to the college. It wasn't connected at all, but I'd been told by someone in my literature class that they catered to just about every sort of dance style you could imagine.
I felt invigorated standing there, all of this possibility in front of me. Last time round I'd taken an age to start dancing again, held back by Brad and his dead weight.
I wasn't going to make the same mistake again.
I heard a door open over to my right and saw a bunch of girls come flowing out into the corridor. They wore tights and T-shirts, most of them lean and slim, their hair tied back and glistening with sweat.
I quickly ran my eyes over the timetable - contemporary, that's what they'd been doing. It was a style I enjoyed.
I looked back up to see one of them approach. She was petite, with short blonde hair and big bright blue eyes. She probably looked similar to me to a passer by.
“Hey,” she said, her voice as light and bright as she appeared, “I haven't seen you here before. You thinking of joining?”
“Yeah, I am. Was that contemporary you were just doing?”
She nodded and smiled.
“Is the tuition good?” I asked.
“Ah its amazing yeah. Costs a bit though. Are you looking to be a full time dancer or just a bit of part time stuff?”
“Oh, I'm at college, so it would just be evenings. How much is it per class?”
She squiggled her nose up as she thought about it. “I'm not sure on a, like, per class basis. But you can pay monthly for a certain number or maybe buy a batch?”
“So what do you do? Are you full time?”
“I'm here most days yeah. I work evenings mainly so I have a monthly subscription here where I can go to any class. Private tuition is extra though.”
“Of course. Who should I talk to about joining?”
“Err, Madame West runs the whole school, so I guess if you're serious about things she's the person to see.”
“Thanks a lot...” I left it open for her to finish the sentence with her name.
She didn't quite pick up on it at first, before realizing what I was doing and laughing in a sweet way.
“Lexi, my names Lexi.”
“Nice to meet you Lexi, I'm Elle. So, Madame West - is she this way?” I nodded my head down the corridor.
“Err, yeah her office is that way, but she's not around right now. She has Thursdays off I think.”
“Ah, OK, well thanks for your help. Maybe I'll see you around here sometime?”
She smiled again and nodded before prancing off down the corridor, not a care in the world. I swear there must be something in the air round here. Half the people seemed to be high all the time.
....
Half an hour later I was lying on my bed back in my dorm, Alice working away diligently at her desk. It was about a week since I'd moved now, and her mood had picked up since the morning she trundled in, half dead with exhaustion and concern.
I hadn't asked her about it, or at least she didn't tell me much if ever I did. I guess I wasn't quite into her inner circle of trust yet. That said, Alice seemed like the sort of girl who had a very small inner circle.
Like, super small.
Like, only herself.
I wasn't even sure that Tess was privy to everything.
Not that she wasn't popular. No, people seemed to like her, especially the guys. Any time I stepped out with her there were eyes literally locked on her every step. She was like this magnet for drooling men, not that she even seemed to notice.
I guess she liked to keep her own council, sort through problems herself. She told me she didn't have any siblings, that her mom was dead and she didn't really have a relationship with her dad. It kinda made sense, then, that she'd learned to keep her emotions close to her chest.
The experience of starting at this college, though, could hardly have been more different from my last, failed, effort. Then I'd fallen for Brad straight up, too shy and scared to branch and out and develop my own social circle until way into the first year.
Here, I'd gone at it hammer and tongs. I mean, part of that had been forced, you know, by having a room-mate and all that. But the rest was all me. I'd already met a few people in my Literature class who I'd been to coffee with, and now there was the promise of joining dance class outside of uni hours.
A smile spread from ear to ear at the thought as I lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling.
Alice must have picked up on it as her voice broke me from my daydream.
“What are you grinning so widely about,” she asked, half speaking, half laughing. “You look like the fucking joker.”
I laughed spontaneously.
“I dunno, I guess I'm just happy to be here. You have no idea how much better this start has been to my last effort at college in California. Like, black and white, I'm not kidding.”
She laughed at my drollness.
“So what's so different this time?” she asked, her tone so light and breezy. She sounded genuinely interested, not a hint of scepticism in her voice.
“It's just different. I'm not burdened by a nightmare boyfriend for one thing. Literally, the guy was the Freddie Krueger of boyfriends, haunting my dreams.”
We both laughed together. God it was nice to laugh about it.
“It's just nice to be free of him, you know. Have you ever just had a boyfriend who would not let go when you broke up?”
She shook her head, still giggling.
“Well, this guy latched on like a bear trap. I had to move here to get away from him, God's honest truth.”
Her laughter suddenly dried up.
“Are you serious? It was that bad?”
“Worse. You have no idea.”
“Jesus babe. I wondered why anyone would move to a new college mid-year. Now I know.”
“Yeah, I'm well shot. I'm so glad you're my room-mate though Alice. It could have been totally different if I'd moved in with some weirdo slob or something. I had a friend at my last college whose room-mate constantly brought guys back and slept with them in front of her.”
“EW!”
“I know, right! I was so worried the same would happen to me. So glad its you hun.”
She smiled genuinely. “Well, I'm happy to have you. Just quit it with the snoring and we'll be fine.” She giggled again at my hurt and shocked expression. “Just teasing, you don't snore. You do talk in your sleep though.”
“I do not!”
“You do! You were mumbling something about a savior the other day. You kept saying 'my savior, my savior' in this lusty voice. It kinda freaked me out actually, it was only the second night you were here! I literally thought you were mad!”
“Really? My savior? Weird.”
But it wasn't weird. I knew who, and what, I would have been talking about.
“Have I said anything else?” I said casually.
“Nah, not that I've noticed. Thank God.” She laughed again.
Good. I don't wanna be spilling my darkest secrets in my sleep now do I. Not that I really have any dark secrets. Not yet anyway.
“Well, tell me if I say anything else. It was probably the nerves of just arriving or something, you know.”
“Yeah sure. I've got a nutter as a new room-mate! Although can't be as bad as the last.” She hushed herself, as if she'd said too much.
“Ooooo, gossip. What was she like?” I said, sitting up, my eyes opening wide.
“No, I'm just messing. She was pretty normal actually.” I got the impression that she was closing the door on something. None of my business really though. More confirmation that Alice really did keep her cards close to her chest.
“So are you making friends in class,” she asked, changing the subject. “You're doing Literature, right? Have you met a girl called Lilly?”
“Err, no, why?”
“No reason. She's just the only girl I know on that course.”
“Ah. Yeah, I've met some people, they're really nice. Everyone seems to be nice round here. I went to that dance school, West's School of Dance, after lectures today to look into classes, and this random girl just started chatting to me. She was really nice and helpful. I think there's something in the water round here!”
“Oh yeah, what was her name?”
“Um, Lexi I think.”
“Lexi?” She seemed to recognize the name. “At West's?”
“Yeah. You know her?”
“Yeah, she's just the sweetest girl. So friendly, so bubbly. Gorgeous. Small, right? Like tiny, and blonde? Kinda looks like you actually!”
“That's the one. And thanks, if I look anything like her that's a major compliment! So, do you dance? Is that how you know her?”
“Oh, sor
t of. I used to work with her.” Her voice lost some of its vibrancy, suddenly going a bit closeted again.
Seriously, this girl and her secrets.
“Ah, right. Like what, bar work or something?”
“Something like that.” She had this half grin on her face, a look of remembrance, of forgotten pleasure, her eyes glancing off to the side.
I knew not to probe. If she wanted to let me in on the truth, that was her deal.
Right now, I was just happy to be there. For the first time in a while I actually lay there looking forwards to the next day.
I think they call that optimism.
Chapter 7 - Crash
Crash
I sat in a quiet office, maps and lists and pictures of various people pinned all over the walls. There was a desk in front of me, files and papers scattered all over it, and a man sitting behind, cigarette in mouth, glass of whiskey in hand.
He had a clean cut disposition, despite his obvious vices, his face clean shaven, his hair neatly cut and swept to the back of his head. He wore a suit, black, with a white shirt and black tie. To any onlooker he looked like he might have been going to a funeral.
But he wasn't. He dealt in death sometimes, but in a very different way.
“Some things have come to light,” he said, his tone ominous. “You knew the sort of thing your father was involved in?”
This man had worked for my father many times before. He was well aware of the circles he moved in. Jones, that was his name, the only name I knew him by.
I nodded. “Intimately.”
“Good. Do you recall the murder of Michael Cooper, not long before your fathers death?”
Michael Cooper was a heavyweight in the financial industry, his personal wealth stretching into the low billions. He'd had dealings with my father for many years, things I wasn't privy to as a younger man.
Only a few weeks before the death of my father he'd been found murdered in similar circumstances. He was found in the Globe Hotel, room 640, a knife cut through his heart. Details were sketchy at first about his death, people speculating over what had happened. Yet with such a high profile case, someone was always likely to let the truth slip for an envelope full of money.
CRASH (A Logan Brothers Novel) Page 5
