Chapter Eighteen
Erica
I sat as close to him on the bus all the way to the airport as I could without dry humping him. I sat on his lap while we waited in the airport and now as he’s just about to board the plane I can’t help but feel the tears building in my eyes.
‘So, this is it,’ he says with a sad smile, rocking on his heels.
‘I know. I just...I miss you already.’ I know I sound pathetic, but it’s like something has shifted between us today. We’ve both made it clear that in an ideal world we’d want more from each other.
He smiles and rolls his eyes, his arms wrapped around me. ‘You’re so bloody soppy.’
‘I know. What have you done to me?’
He grins devilishly. ‘It’s my magic penis.’
I smile, despite feeling miserable. ‘That must be it.’ I push my hand down in between us and give it a quick squeeze.
His eyes bulge out of their sockets. ‘Stop!’ he hisses, looking around at the others to see if they’ve seen. ‘I can’t have a boner while walking onto the plane.’
‘People will just assume you’re really into flying,’ I laugh. ‘Weird fetish or something.’
He rolls his eyes as if I’m ridiculous. ‘I’m sure normal people wouldn’t think that.’
‘There are no normal people left,’ I say with a wink. ‘Anyway, don’t go trying to join the mile high club with an eager air hostess. I’d like to think you’re half as depressed as I am.’
His eyes light up with humour, but quickly dim. ‘Haven’t you seen Charlie today?’
I look round to see him walking towards us, clutching his stomach.
‘You okay Charlie?’ I ask, giving him some room.
‘Ugh, I’ve had diarrhoea all morning. I ate some bad tacos last night. I honestly don’t know how I’m gonna make it through this plane ride.’
Ah, now I get it. He’ll be in and out of the plane toilet stinking it up. Hardly the kind of romantic or erotic atmosphere needed to join the mile high club. Good.
The queue moves forward until we eventually have to part.
He holds my face in his hands, smiling sadly down at me.
‘Maybe one day we’ll be better aligned. Until then.’ He gives me a quick peck on the lips. ‘It’s not goodbye. It’s just...see you later.’ He pulls me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me as he kisses me deeply. A tear spills down my cheek. He parts to brush it away with his thumb. I smile weakly back at him. It’s now or never. I’m prolonging the agony by not just biting the bullet. I push him back slowly, trying to keep my breathing under control.
He turns, handing over his boarding pass to the air hostess. He smiles back at me before turning and walking into the tunnel.
How the fuck am I going to survive without him?
Chapter Nineteen
Jack
I knew the minute I got on that plane I couldn’t live without her. But there was no point promising her anything until I’d worked out that I could definitely be with her. There are a few things I need to do. Speak to my boss and ask if a transfer is possible, and then the hard part, asking Amber and Esme what they think about it.
Erica
It’s been a week. The longest week of my life. It feels so ridiculous how two weeks ago I was living the exact same life, quite content. I mean, maybe looking back, I was just bumbling along. Putting one foot in front of the other. But now it feels like there’s a giant hole in my chest that only his love can fill.
And the worst thing is that he doesn’t even feel the same. I mean, yes, we promised not to bother trying the long distance thing, but I guess I still kind of expected at least a text from him to say he got home safe. But no. Radio silence over here.
Brooke’s gone out tonight, her usual for a Saturday. She asked me to come with her but I’m really not feeling up to it. I just want to wallow for a while, you know? Be happy in my own misery, in a weird kind of way.
I’ve put the washing on and I’m looking forward to settling down in front of Netflix, my pizza on order, when my phone rings. I really hope it’s not someone calling with bad news. I don’t have the energy for it at the moment.
I glance at the caller ID and nearly pass out when Your Holiday Lover flashes up. My heartbeat starts going ten to the dozen. He’s calling me?
I quickly sit up straight, clear my throat and smile, as if he can see me.
‘Hello?’ I answer dubiously. It will be really embarrassing if he just butt-dialled me.
‘Hey, Eric.’ Just hearing his voice makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry over the unfairness of it all.
‘Hi.’
‘You already said that,’ he laughs. The sound of his chuckles calms me. I fold myself up on the sofa, hugging my knees into my chest.
‘Sorry, I just...you’ve caught me off-guard is all. I thought we said we weren’t going to try and do this?’
Not that I’m not desperate to give it one last shot.
‘Yeah, well I’ve been thinking about that.’
‘Oh?’ I ask, far too eagerly. Calm down Erica. Don’t get too excited.
‘And I think what we have is better than that.’
Oh Jesus, why is he tormenting me like this? He either wants to give it a go or he doesn’t!
I sigh, suddenly exhausted and defeated by the idea of us. ‘I want to try, but you know how it went last time.’
‘We were teenagers last time,’ he counters.
I laugh gloomily. ‘I can’t promise that I won’t be any less immature and needy.’
The doorbell rings. At least I have my pizza to make me feel better. I knew I should have added some ice cream to the order.
‘I’ll take you how you are, Erica.’
I smile, despite my reservations as I swing the door open. I try to rearrange my features so I’m not grinning like a loon at the delivery boy. But that’s when I see him. Jack. My Jack. At the door. My door. My jaw goes slack, hanging lifelessly.
He’s got the phone to his ear, and he’s also grinning like a loon. ‘Surprise.’
I drop the phone on the floor and leap into his arms, flinging my legs around his waist. I press my head against his neck, inhaling him. He vibrates with a chuckle.
‘I take it you’re happy to see me, then?’
I lean my head back, looking into those amazing hazel eyes. ‘Happy is an understatement.’ I press my lips against his, savouring the taste. I never thought I’d get to kiss them again.
He walks into the flat, kicking the door shut behind him. He lays me down on the sofa, still on top of me.
‘Wait.’
He stops abruptly, looking down at me. ‘What? What’s wrong?’
‘Just...before we do this. We should sit down and talk about how it’s going to happen. I mean, do you think we could see each other at least once a month?’
He grins, tucking some of my hair behind my ear. ‘Didn’t I tell you?’
I frown, completely confused.
‘I’m moving here.’
My mouth drops open, my head spinning. ‘Are you serious?’
‘Yep.’
‘But…what about your job? What about your promotion?’
‘That’s why I needed this week to speak to my boss and get things organised. I managed to get transferred to a new Brighton office opening here. I didn’t want to get your hopes up before I knew.’
‘With the same position?’ I ask hopefully.
‘No,’ he shakes his head. ‘The one I was doing before the promotion, but he says that as it’s new, the current manager is only there for six months setting everything up. He reckons with my knowledge I could be up for the position. He’s putting a good word in for me.’
‘Wow.’ I still can’t believe it. Are the planets really aligning for us?
‘Yeah, plus he’s okayed for me to have every second Wednesday off as long as I work the Saturday. And I can leave early on a Friday every second weekend.’
Well that’s a bit blo
ody random.
‘Riiiiight?’ I say with a question. ‘Why would you want those hours? Having a Wednesday off is a bit odd, isn’t it?’
He smiles, suddenly nervous as he bites his lip. ‘Well, that’s where I need to sit you down and explain a few things.’
I sit up. Oh crap, what is he going to tell me? Just when I was thinking it was going well.
‘Do you have a girlfriend or something?’
‘Or something,’ he nods. I gulp. Shit, he’s married. ‘I’m single, but, well…it’s hard for me to explain, but…I have a kid.’
My eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. A kid?
‘You have a what?’
He nods. ‘A daughter. She’s four.’
‘Oh my god. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.’
He sighs, looking as if the weight of the world is on his shoulders. ‘I’m sorry, but I didn’t think I’d have to. Plus, I was having so much fun not having to be responsible for once. I suppose I kind of wanted to keep up the lie.’
‘Jesus. Well, then you can’t move here.’ How can he even be considering leaving his daughter in Peterborough and moving miles away from her?
‘I can. I’ve talked it through with Amber and Esme. I only pick her up from school every second Wednesday and have her every second weekend. With these working hours it means I’ll still be able to do that. Her life won’t change at all.’
‘Shit.’ That’s when it dawns on me. Amber. ‘Wait, Amber’s the mum? As in…the Amber I was always jealous of?’
‘That’s another reason I didn’t want to tell you,’ he admits with a nod.
‘I knew she was after you!’ I shout, suddenly enraged.
‘Yeah, well we were only together a month before she told me she was pregnant. I quickly realised we couldn’t be together. We split up before she was even twenty weeks. But I’ve always been involved with Esme. There are no hard feelings between Amber and me. We’re just like friends who have a kid together.’
‘How can you even be sure it’s yours?’
‘It has a name. Esme.’
I place my hand on top of his. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘There’s no doubt in my mind.’ He pulls his phone out of his pocket and scrolls through, handing it to me. On the screen is the cutest little girl I’ve ever seen. Big chubby, rosy cheeks, Jack’s distinctive hazel eyes and brown hair. ‘That’s what my tattoos are about too.’ He pulls up his t-shirt and points to the date. ‘That’s Esme’s date of birth.’ He points to the clock. ‘That’s the time she was born. She’s a Leo,’ he explains, pointing to the lion, ‘and the elephant is because Dumbo is her favourite movie. She actually begged me to get that one.’
‘I still can’t believe you have a kid. And with Amber of all people!’
‘Yeah, but I’ve kind of re-arranged my life now, so I’m really hoping you’re going to come to terms with it.’
I laugh. ‘I can do that.’
‘Good, because I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.’
I wrap my arms around his neck. ‘I couldn’t be happier.’
‘Great, because I kind of need to move in here. Rent prices here are shocking!’ He widens his eyes in mock horror.
‘You want to live with me?’ He wants to move in?
‘Yeah, do you think you can handle me?’ He smiles, his eyes lighting up in challenge.
‘I’ll give it a try.’ I pull him to me and kiss him. ‘But, I mean, am I really worth all of this upheaval and stress for you? For Esme?’
‘Erica, you’re worth the world and more. Let me spend the rest of my life making that stupid text message up to you. I can’t live with anymore regrets.’
I smile shyly. The doorbell goes for the pizza. ‘Be right back.’
I take the pizza and pay the delivery guy. When I bring it back in, he’s kicked off his shoes and is asleep, cuddling the cushion. I look down at his angelic, sleeping face and realise that I got my happily ever after. It might have taken fifteen years, and it might not be conventional, but it’s finally happened. I have my Jack.
THE END
Playlist
The One That Got Away – Katy Perry
Throwback – Usher
Hypnotise – Notorious B.I.G.
Sweet Dreams – Beyonce
Seven Days in Sunny June – Jamiroquai
Wishing on a Star – Jay Z
Cool for the Summer – Demi Lovato
End of the Road – Boyz II Men
Boys Boys Boys – Grace
September Song – JP Cooper
I’m in Love with a Monster – Fifth Harmony
Run the World (Girls) – Beyonce
I’m Yours – Jason Mraz
My Boo – Usher & Alicia Keys
Count on Me – Bruno Mars
Summer Love – One Direction
Beautiful Goodbye – Maroon 5
Still Be Lovin’ You – Damage
Perfect – Ed Sheeran
Click Here for the List on Spotify
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Acknowledgments
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my book. Reviews mean so much to us indie authors, so I'd really appreciate a quick review.
Thank you first of all to my family for their continued support. That means me being a sleep deprived zombie mum, unable to form a complete sentence and having to take naps to keep up with my crazy writing hours. It can't be easy living with that!
Thank you to Andrea M Long for her speedy and accurate editing. Her suggestions made the book all it could be. She has mad skills!
Hart & Bailey Design pulled another one out of the bag with this beautiful cover. I just love it!
Thank you to all the readers and bloggers who take time out of their crazy schedules to share my posts and help spread the word. Without you I'd be nothing.
Special thanks to my Indie author friends that are constantly there for me when I need a rant/share/funny message. You guys rock.
Also by Laura Barnard
The Debt & the Doormat Series
The Debt & the Doormat
The Baby & the Bride
Porn Money & Wannabe Mummy
Standalones
Tequila & Tea Bags
Dopey Women
Sex, Snow & Mistletoe
Heath, Cliffs & Wandering Hearts
Adventurous Proposal
Connect with Me
www.laurabarnardbooks.co.uk
www.facebook.com/laurabarnardbooks
https://twitter.com/BarnardLaura
https://www.instagram.com/laurabarnardauthor/
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