She looked back at him, the agony on her face breaking him.
“Come here,” he breathed. Opening his arms.
She shook, sobbing silently as she fell apart in his arms. John hated that he couldn’t take away her pain; there was no enemy to kill or person to snarl at. This was a problem he couldn’t fix, no matter how much he longed to do so.
“She was so stupid to think three months was enough to mourn her. It was nothing. It was long enough for Zac to go off the deep end and my father to start work again, but the sadness, John, it never left.”
“I don’t think it will, Evaline. It just becomes easier to live with.” He kissed the top of her head, squeezed her tighter. “You haven’t had time to breathe, Eva. You’ve been too busy taking care of everyone.” Pulling back just enough so he could see her face, John continued, “But you’re not alone anymore, baby. You can breathe. I’ve got you. The pack has got you.”
“And when I go back to college, what then?”
His own eyes stung with pain. “You’re one of us now, no matter how far away you are.” Even if she turned his back on him, Eva would always be connected to Dark Shadow, would always be connected to him.
“What about you?” she asked, almost fearfully.
He kissed her once, gently, the slightest of brushes. “You’re it for me, Evaline. You’re mine, whether you are here or the other side of the country. If you call, I will come. Always.”
Laying his heart bare, John could only hope she wouldn’t break what he gave her to hold. He could deny his feelings no longer. Eva was his. His mate. His love. His forever.
“Take me home, John,” she asked gently, her eyes shining gems.
When he’d lifted her into his arms, John kissed her, his need for her growing second by second. Walking her through the trees, he made his way to the cabin they shared, carrying her over the threshold and into his room.
There was no fear in her. No sorrow. The face watching him held wonder and hope, and as he laid her on his bed and slowly stripped her of her clothes, he showed her just how much she meant to him with each gentle touch. And at last, Eva took her first breath.
The future was uncertain. War, change… it all hung on the horizon, but whatever the outcome, one thing was certain. John would love Eva until his last breath, and wherever she went, she would always be his.
Chapter 24
Eva
She’d lived without air for so long she’d forgotten what it was like to breathe. The relief rushed in and out of her lungs as life shot through her veins; it was heady and magical. Since she’d first caught John looking at her, he’d stirred some sleeping, forgotten part of her soul. He’d made her start to look forward to a possible future, even as the idea terrified her. Not only that, he’d given her arms in which to fall as the loss of her mother tore her apart.
For someone so powerful and primal, he held and kissed her with a gentleness that filled her broken heart. The way he watched her, the way he spoke to her, it told a story of unbreakable love. She’d be lying if she said the intensity of the connection growing between them didn’t scare her. It was nothing human, nothing she’d ever felt before, yet she reached for it anyway. John’s world was frightening and raw, but it was also pure and beautiful. It was a family, bound by love and loyalty, and in the short time she’d been in his world, she’d become bound to it as well.
Dark Shadow was her brother’s pack, and as John rose above her, giving her an intimacy she’d never known, it became her pack too. Whichever direction the future took, Eva knew she’d always have the strength of John and all of Dark Shadow at her back, and that somehow made the unknown less frightening and her grief more bearable.
“Evaline,” John moaned as they fell over the edge, his eyes flashing unearthly yellow. “Mine.”
Reaching up, Eva brushed his long hair from his face, her breath desperate and ragged, and smiled. “Yes, yours.”
It was crazy and too soon, but as she said the words, Eva felt the truth of them right down to her soul.
***
When Eva opened her eyes, it took her a moment to understand where she was. First, she registered her lack of clothes, then the heat surrounding her coming from the very naked, very sexy man in the bed. It was dark out. No light seeped through the closed curtains so it couldn’t be morning. Her stomach growled into the silence, and John shifted beside her.
Sucking in a breath, Eva studied his face and tried to comprehend what had happened. She’d been aware and very present through the entire act, but the very true, very real meaning behind it was only just starting to sink in. Their time together had been so much more than a physical act; they’d connected on a level she hadn’t even begun to understand, and it frightened her. Not because she didn’t want it, but because she feared she wasn’t strong enough to shoulder what came with such a relationship.
Her stomach rumbled again, reminding Eva why she’d most likely woken in the first place.
“Do I need to feed you?” John mumbled sleepily, a small smile lifting his lips.
Eva rolled her head to hide in the pillow as her cheeks flamed—not that he’d opened his eyes. But being in bed with John naked was intimate and daunting. Will he regret what he’s done? John was a large, powerful man, whom Eva saw as invincible, and though she knew the way he’d looked at her was real, it was also hard for Eva to accept a man like him would fall for a human. Someone breakable. Someone who could so easily shatter under the pressure of his world.
“Sorry,” she mumbled into the material.
His fingers trailed through her hair, over her shoulder and under the covers. “Why are you hiding from me?” he asked gently.
Eva lifted her head, found unearthly yellow eyes watching her. “I’m not.”
“Liar.” He smirked. Her tummy protested again. John laughed. “Hungry?”
She nodded. “What time is it?”
Rolling away, he reached for his phone. “Midnight.”
“No wonder I’m hungry. We slept through dinner. Why isn’t your stomach complaining?”
John shrugged. “Maybe you didn’t wear me out as much as I did you.” His gaze filled with mischief and Eva had to bite her lip to keep from smiling.
“Are you complaining?” She raised a brow, fake outrage in her tone.
“Yes,” he deadpanned. “I think you should try again.”
With a shake of her head, Eva sat up, the covers pooling around her waist as she poked him in the chest. “That was mean, John Warden.”
But John wasn’t watching her face anymore, his heated gaze instead fixed on her exposed breasts. “I lied. I am hungry,” he answered softly. “Starving in fact.”
Heat pooled in her belly, anticipation swirling through her veins. “John,” she whispered, both a plea and a warning.
He had her under him a second later, all thoughts of food forgotten. In fact, Eva realized she was as starved as John too.
Chapter 25
John
“A feast in bed for my woman, coming right up,” John announced, jumping from bed and pulling on a pair of shorts from his drawer. There was a spark in his blood.He was lighter, hopeful, happy. Eva was his drug.
“John,” Eva called before he’d reached the doorway. “Can you pass me a T-shirt or something?”
He studied her naked in his bed. “But I prefer you like that.” He pouted dramatically, bursting laughter from her lungs. The sound made his heart sing.
Dragging in a breath to calm herself, Eva shook her head. “I never imagine you’d be so… playful.”
Neither did I. Seemed for his future mate, he had all kinds of surprises waiting to be revealed. “I’m not playing. I want you naked from now on.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Clothes, John.”
Picking up the shirt she’d all but torn from him on their way in earlier, John tossed it at her. “Fine, you can wear my clothes.”
“Food.” She waved a hand at him. “Bad man.”
Chuckling as
he left the bedroom, John marveled at his joyful state. She was more than he could have imagined, and he never planned to let her go. One day soon, Eva would be giving in and would be his in all ways. Connected to him on a level only mates had the privilege of knowing. He tried not to think about her wanting to go back to college; he wasn’t sure how he’d deal with that. A part of him wanted to refuse her leaving—the wilder, more primal side of him. But the human knew caging her would damage the very thing he loved about her—her spirit.
Birds who were chained forgot how to fly, and his Evaline was only just beginning to take flight. The weight of her sorrow was a crushing thing, something she’d only just begun to release, and he’d walk beside her as she dealt with all her pain. Past, present, and future. It was his job. His privilege.
Searching his cupboards for some food, John made a mental note to stock his kitchen with better supplies for future midnight feasts. He put what he could find on a tray that had been left behind from a delivered meal from the pack kitchen. Hot drinks followed, and then John was returning to his bedroom, tray in hand to find his woman sitting up in bed, looking delicious in his shirt, her hair mussed from his fingers, and her lips slightly swollen from his greedy mouth. She looked far more edible than the food he’d put together.
“You’re doing that thing again,” she murmured as he climbed into bed and put the tray down before them. “Looking at me like that.”
“Like what, Eva?”
Her gaze flickered up shyly, then back to the food. Her words were quiet and unsure when she said, “Like you’ve been waiting for me your entire life.”
He lifted her chin with a finger, making her meet his face. “I have.”
“I doubt that.” She scoffed. “I’m just a human, John, surrounded by people far stronger than me.”
A worm of worry made its way into his head. It wasn’t good she saw herself as weak amongst his kind. He needed to make her see she had a place here and felt as important as anyone else.
“You’re not just anything, Evaline. There are those in Dark Shadow who would have panicked in the face of what you did today with Oliver. Without the gentlest of us, we would never be a home. They are our heart, Eva, and the strongest of us, the ribcage that protects it. But strength isn’t always measured in the person’s ability to fight.” His hand found her heart. “Strength is measured here.”
“Then I am weak,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes.
“No, baby. To feel heartache and remain standing, that is strength. Do you honestly believe your brother and father would have gotten this far without you? You’ve kept your family together even as you were falling apart. No more doubt, Eva. You belong here just as much as anyone else.”
Blinking back her tears, Eva smiled. “My mom would have liked you.”
His chest filled painfully tight. “Let’s hope your father does too,” he replied, hoping to lift the sorrow from her eyes.
She laughed softly. “It’s my brother you need to watch. He has the claws.”
“He’s already threatened to kill me if I hurt you.” He grinned. “Silly pup.”
Her hand flew to her mouth. “He did not.”
John nodded. “Right in front of Bass too. Kid’s got guts. I’ll give him that.”
“Death wish more like,” she muttered, rolling her eyes. “You’re not to hurt my brother, John, remember? He’s annoying, but I love him.”
Chuckling, John lifted a cracker piled with cheese to her mouth. “If I hurt you, I’ll let him kill me.”
“Men,” she mumbled around the cracker. “You’re all idiots.”
Smiling, John fed her more food, a deep satisfaction rooted in his soul. His purpose had always been to defend his pack, his alpha, but being with Eva and doing such simple things, it was so much more than purpose. It was fast becoming the reason he lived.
Chapter 26
John
Standing over Eva, John watched her sleep, afraid she wasn’t real. She looked peaceful and perfect curled on her side over his pillow. Running his hand threw the corn silk of her hair one more time, John pressed a kiss to her cheek before leaving a note on the bedside table and padded quietly from the room.
Leaving his cabin into the darkness of night, he made his way toward the only cabin lit with light, snow crunching beneath his boots. The kiss of winter hung in the air, promising the fall of more snow, and as it grew colder with each day, so did the potential for war.
“John, good, I was hoping you’d come find us,” Bass said as he entered the pack office-cum-meeting space. “I came over earlier, but you were busy.” He smirked as the others in the room sniggered.
John narrowed his eyes. “I don’t want to hear it.”
Bass laughed. “I’m happy for you, John, really. So is everyone else.”
“Thanks, but I don’t need everyone scaring her off, so not a word.”
Nico grinned from his propped-up position in the corner, bringing his fingers to his mouth and pretending to zip them shut.
“Why aren’t you in bed resting?” John asked him.
“I am resting,” Nico argued. “Got my feet up and everything.” He pointed to his crossed feet up on a bucket.
Bass glanced at his friend. “I tried to send him away, but he refused to listen.”
“I’m surprised Olivia hasn’t dragged you out.”
Nico shrugged, then winced. “She was asleep. I snuck out. So, let’s get this meeting on the way before she does come and drag me out.”
Bass stood taller, his gaze meeting those in the room. “Jackson wants to send a team to find out if Castor really has gone, as Anna said. I tend to believe in Anna’s gifts, but it would be good to know if he’s moved the entire pack or taken a select few who are willing to fight with him. Jackson has a team of three waiting, and I’ll do the same. John, Tyler, and Noah, you’re to go. Observe only, and then report back. Do not engage or take risks that could lead to your discovery. John, you’re to take the lead, and Cage will be taking the lead for River Run, with Mia and William joining him.”
“We get an extra then.” Noah laughed. “Mia’s ours now.”
Bass’s lips twitched, his gaze dipping to hide the amusement John was sure was there. It was an ongoing friendly argument between both packs and the claim they had over mated pairs.
“No comment,” Bass replied. “You’ll all get along and come home in one piece, please. I need you guys whole.”
“Is Cage ready to leave now?” John asked. “If we hurry, we’ll arrive just before daybreak.”
“Yes, he’s ready when you are. Take vehicles as far as you can, then cover the rest of the ground on foot.”
John nodded, his head swiveling to Tyler and Noah. “Ready?”
“Born ready.” Noah’s eyes gleamed.
Tyler nodded. “Yes, let’s go.”
Leaving the cabin, John pulled out his phone and flicked a message to Cage on his way to collect a vehicle, asking them to meet them out on the road. Ten minutes later and they were pulling away, Cage trailing them with Mia and William.
“So?” Noah poked his head into the front of the vehicle from the back seat. “Have you mentioned the M word to your delicate human yet?”
“She’s not that delicate. She patched Regan up today, who said Eva didn’t even flinch at the blood,” Tyler added.
John smiled, satisfaction settling deep within him. Of course his human wasn’t delicate. She was brave enough to face him, wasn’t she? “No, Noah, I haven’t, and I’d rather no one else did either.”
“What are you waiting for?” Tyler asked.
“Afraid she’ll run?” Noah teased.
“Since when was this everyone’s business?” John muttered. It was bad enough the entire pack was gossiping about them like Dark Shadow was a high school, without his friends sticking their noses in too.
Noah nudged his shoulder, the grin he shot him in the rearview mirror cunning. “Since Mr. I Never Break the Rules was too busy getting it on w
ith his girl to come to the pack meeting.”
“I came to the meeting,” John grumbled.
“Yeah, two hours late,” Noah defended. His laugh echoed within the car.
“Bass could have called if he needed me,” John pointed out.
Twisting in his seat, Tyler shoved Noah backward. “Sit down and leave him alone. You’re just jealous you’re lonely and single.”
“Single maybe, lonely… not.” Noah smirked, settling into his seat, arms crossed.
“Holly,” Tyler coughed under his breath.
“Don’t even go there,” Noah growled, causing the other two men to burst into laughter.
“Were you really waiting two hours for me?” John asked after their laughter faded. He didn’t want Bass thinking his courting of Eva was going to affect his ability to defend Dark Shadow.
Tyler patted his shoulder. “No, pal. Noah’s just trying to get under your skin. We had other things to go over. Bass would have called if you hadn’t shown up when you did.”
John gazed at the road ahead, unconvinced, but he wouldn’t regret his time with Eva.
“Bass was angry at me loads of times for being late to shift when I was sneaking about with Regan. Don’t feel bad, John. You deserve to be happy.”
“Thanks, Ty.”
Traveling through the dark, his eyes were on the road, but his mind remained with the golden-haired woman he’d left in his bed. John marveled at the gift he’d been given—even his wolf was satisfied and had given up pushing for a mating bond. Because as she’d gazed at him, her skin flush with desire, he’d seen more than lust in her eyes. Eva had true feelings for him. Emotions which he knew scared her, yet she hadn’t turned away. He had to trust as they moved forward, she’d carry on being brave, and they’d face the intensity of their bond together.
***
John paused, Tyler and Noah behind him doing the same. He then glanced across at Cage’s group and indicated they’d each take one direction. Cage nodded his approval, and they split off silently and wove through the trees, ghosts haunting the night.
Wolf Queen (A New Dawn Novel Book 6) Page 14
