by Tiana Laveen
I never believed I’d have time for love again, but that was an excuse. I was scared of lovin’ someone as much as I loved Sebastian, afraid it would hurt somethin’ awful. But I’m all right. Langston is a good man, and we’re together now and even if we don’t end up going the long haul, I don’t regret this. He makes me happy. I’mma stop lookin’ back, and just march on forward…
She smiled sadly as she exited the highway and headed for work. She figured going in an hour early would help take her mind off the fact that she missed the boy already, and he wasn’t even in the air yet.
But she knew one thing for certain—
Life had many twists and turns. The unexpected should be expected… and now, she’d fallen in love with two people…
Her man and herself, all over again…
LANGSTON’S MOTHER STOOD in his small kitchen, holding a large round cake under the plastic Tupperware dome she toted around for drop offs. It was a white vanilla cake with thick, buttery buttercream icing covered with thinly sliced, juicy strawberry and pineapple slices. His mouth salivated at the sight. The woman baked the best desserts in town. It was a wonder, since she rarely ate them—didn’t have much of a sweet tooth.
She set the thing on the counter as he dried the coffee mug he’d used earlier that morning and placed it in the cabinet. It had been a long day. He was happy to be off work but didn’t expect her to come by so late.
“So you had a good day at work, huh?’
“Yeah… it was fine. You know this coulda waited till tomorrow. You ain’t have to come by. It’s almost eleven at night, Mama. You shouldn’t even be out right now.”
“Yes I did have to come by. It was only right and you can’t tell me what to do. I’ll be just fine.” She sighed, set her large dark brown purse on the counter and began to rummage through it. Moments later, she removed a red snakeskin wallet, worn with time around the edges, opened it, and pulled out several $20 dollar bills. “I’ll set these right here.” She placed them on a small white dinner plate sitting nearby. “I’m forty bucks short but I’ll have it to you in a few days.”
“Don’t worry about it, Mama. That’s enough.”
“Naw, you need your money just as much as anybody else. Thanks for helpin’ to bail us out. I hate that I have to ask my kids for anything… that ain’t how it’s supposed to be.” She leaned against the refrigerator and crossed her arms.
“Everybody needs help every now and again, Mama. Besides, you don’t ask me for help too often. You and Dad are doin’ the best you can. It ain’t easy. Life ain’t easy, that is.”
“Yeah, that’s for damn sure.” She exhaled and looked about. He knew that look… she wanted to light up but he’d asked her in the past to not smoke in his home. “It was real nice how you got José that job down there at the store… that was great.”
“All I did was ask if he could get on. The final decision was Sonny’s. I’m glad he hired him though. That worked out real good. Now maybe he can start payin’ his way… takin’ some of the burden off you two.”
Mama nodded. “Seems like he like it so far. Got his first check. I told him to keep the first two and give some money to his kids, then I want him to start savin’ up for a place.”
“Yeah, he and I ain’t talked much about it but he said it was all right and that is what he’s going to do. Said it’s pretty quiet in there.”
They were silent for a spell and Mama looked at him real strange, cocking her head to the side. Her blonde hair swayed in front of her face when she moved like that, so she tucked it behind one ear.
Looks like she done lost some more weight. She was already thin…
“Mama, you all right, health wise?” he finally asked as he washed a microwaveable dish.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just saw Dr. Ramírez the other day. Hey, got a question for you.”
“Yeah…”
“You and that manager down there, that Black lady from the robbery… you really like ’er don’t you? Been datin’ her for a minute, huh?”
He paused. Mama smiled, but something shone in her eyes… perhaps apprehension.
“I do. We’re together now… not just datin’. She’s my girlfriend.” Mama’s eyes got big. “Surprised José ain’t tell you. I stopped in the other night when he was there. Yaz wasn’t workin’ that night, but he asked me about it.”
“I didn’t know that… you usually tell me things like that. Not that you owe me no information or anything.” She drew suddenly quiet again, as if trying to find her next words, lost in a cloud of thoughts.
“Yeah, it’s official. We’re together. I been enjoyin’ myself, too. This is solid, you know? It feels grown.” He chuckled. “She ain’t full of drama. She knows what she wants in life. She’s smart, too. I like talkin’ to her and she ain’t no stick in the mud.”
“You said she’s got a son? A teenager?”
“Yeah, Noah.” He placed a plate on the drying rack and reached for a handful of spoons to wash.
“You and he get along good?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I ain’t spent too much time ’round him, but so far no problems. I plan to change that though. His father stay in Dallas and I ain’t tryna replace his Daddy or nothin’ like that, but that’s my lady’s son, so it makes sense for me to try ’nd establish a relationship wit’ him, too. I’m going to take him fishin’ soon.”
Mama nodded in understanding.
“I gotta be honest wit’ you, baby. I’m worried about this, Lang…” She spoke the words in a low tone, almost as if she were ashamed. He turned slowly back in her direction and faced her. He glanced at the white cake under the plastic covering, then back into her eyes.
“Why?”
“’Cause of the racists ’round here. They all right wit’ the Mexicans and Blacks long as they ain’t datin’, gettin’ married, thangs like that. Me and your father caught hell. I just, uh… I never wanted that for you. I ain’t tryna tell you what to do, just sharin’ what’s on my mind.”
“All right, I’m listenin’.” He rinsed the spoons off and set them in the front cubby of the drying rack.
“I don’t want you gettin’ messed wit’ is all. I think it’ll be worse than even me and your father. It ain’t right.” Mama shook her head and gazed down at the floor, looking downright depressed.
Langston grabbed the towel and dried his hands, then went to take her in his arms. He kissed her cheek.
“You know I can handle myself, Mama. She ain’t the first Black woman I’ve dated, you know that. I know how these folks are and you know I don’t give uh shit. Folks need to mind they business. I’ll date who I wanna date and if they don’t like it, they can look the other way.”
“That’s true, but this is all out in the open. People know who y’all are ’cause of what happened. They been watchin’ her I guess ever since then. I been hearin’ people talkin’, too. People been seein’ y’all out… at stores, restaurants, things like that. You’re like one of the most ‘eligible bachelors’, as they say.” She rolled her eyes and curled her fingers in the universal gesture for quotes. “These women is mad that someone like you bypassed them or their daughters and went and got wit’ this woman. I guess, to them, you was supposed to be with a White or Mexican woman and nothin’ else. Some think she ain’t good enough.”
“Ain’t good enough? Yasmine got more class in her baby finger than most of these women have as a whole. She ain’t stuck up, neither. What they got to say about her not bein’ good enough?! Like they any better. I hate this place sometimes… buncha nosy vermin.”
“Talkin’ about she a single mother, things like that… You told me that woman was married before, so they don’t even know what they talkin’ about, Lang. Some think she think she better than other folks ’cause she got a fancy degree, bought a house, and looks nice. That made me happy to hear, actually. Show she wants somethin’ outta life. They act like nobody is supposed to have anything. I get so sick of it.” Mama sucked her teeth. “Some of ’em
don’t know I’m your mother, and I hear ’em say stuff. The gossip in this town is like an addiction.”
“Hell.” He shrugged as he went back to washing dishes. “Those old birds ain’t got shit else to do… me and Yaz give ’em somethin’ to talk about. They should be payin’ me for this free entertainment.” He chuckled, causing his mother to smile.
“Well.” She sighed. “You know me and yo’ daddy don’t care none about things like that. It ain’t the color that matters to me, it’s how she treats you. She treatin’ my boy good, right?”
“Better than good. She treats me great. Real nice, Mama… She’s a good woman.”
“How old is she again?”
“Thirty-three.”
“Oh, y’all the same age. I thought she was younger than you. I only seen ’er on the TV that time.”
“I’ll bring ’er over soon. I was going to try to last week but she had to work. A, speakin’ of us on the TV, the news and all that mess, I, uh, I got some bad news.” He swallowed and held his breath for a moment. He had intended to keep this shit to himself, but now thought better of it.
“What? What’s done happened, Langston?” Mama inched towards him and rested her hand on her hip, concern etched all over her face.
“The guy that tried to rob the place and Lord knows what else, Roberto Gomez, I heard he gonna be paralyzed for life.”
“That ain’t bad news. That’s the Lord doin’ his work!” Mama hollered. “That piece of shit brought it on himself. I can’t get that mess outta my mind… seein’ her have to try ’nd defend herself like that, holdin’ that broom for dear life. He was in there terrorizin’ that woman. He’s a menace to society. He lucky he ain’t dead! You coulda killed him.” She lifted her chin proudly.
“That’s true, Mama; everything you said is true. But see, he pleaded guilty—took some sort of deal, so that spares us a court case to testify in, but I got a phone call the other day… He ain’t through.”
He grabbed his phone and played the voicemail. The man spoke in a thick Spanish accent…
“Aaaa! Hidalgo County Superhero… want to try and play the good guy, right? You’re a discredit to your race you fucking traitor! You didn’t even know that bitch. You think this is over?! You think you can put me in a wheelchair for the rest of my life and get away with it? I’m going to prison now and probably won’t ever get out ’cause of you. You should have minded your fuckin’ business! I was going to take the money and leave but you had to get involved. You’re happy now that you’re famous, huh? You’re goin’ to be infamous, buddy. I don’t know you, but you’re about to know me. Eres un hombre muerto…(You’re a dead man.)”
And that was it.
“Langston, you’ve got to call the police! He can’t be callin’ you from prison and threatenin’ you like that!”
Langston shrugged. “I’ll be fine. He’s just tryna scare me is all. He’s actually in jail right now ’bout to be sent to prison. I only know that ’cause of the news. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know what he’d done, but I don’t want nobody tellin’ Yasmine, all right? I don’t want her worried ’bout me or upset.”
“Well, I suppose I can understand that.”
“I think reality has set in for this guy. He’s realizing that his life is screwed up forever and now he’s just blamin’ everybody but himself.” He squeezed a bit of Joy dish detergent on the wash cloth and cleaned up a cereal bowl.
“I ain’t tellin’ yo’ father. He’d try to bust in the jail and kill that man!” Mom huffed before snatching the refrigerator door open and taking a look. “Langston, you ain’t hardly got any groceries.” She chuckled. “I’m gonna bring you over some of the tomatoes I been growin’ in the back, and zucchini and onions, too.”
“That’ll be good. I’ll put ’em in my salad. I need to go to the store I ’spose.”
“Your girlfriend work at one. Seems it would be easy for you to get it done,” she teased as she closed it back.
“Actually, she been feedin’ me, cookin’ a lot. So I ain’t had to shop as much lately.” Mama smirked, and he smiled back. “I’m in love again, Mama.” He didn’t look at the woman, just kept on washing the dishes. It felt good to say those words, to share the truth with Mama.
“I’m happy if you’re happy, honey.” She approached him, ran her hand up and down his back, and kissed his cheek. “Well, I guess I’ll get goin’. Love you.” She kissed his cheek once again. After quickly drying off his hands, he walked her to the door.
“Thanks for stoppin’ by, Mama. I’ll bring your Tupperware back after I eat some of this cake and give the rest to my buddies at work. Maybe, next time, you and Dad can come over together. I can pick up some food or cook a lil somethin’… my treat.”
“That’s a good idea. I’d like that, baby.” She stepped out the door.
“Call me when you get home, Mama!” he yelled out as the woman walked to his sister’s car that she’d borrowed to drive over.
“I know, I know!” She chuckled. “You always say that. I will.”
She blew him a kiss, got in the car, and drove away. He closed the door and locked it, then went straight to his bedroom. Opening his closet door, he took down an old, partially crushed, sooty Reebok shoebox from a top shelf. He opened the faded navy blue lid and looked inside.
He removed the Smith & Wesson from the box, checking the chamber. He grabbed some bullets, seized the holster, and laid everything out on his bed.
Time to start carryin’ you around wit’ me until this shit blows over.
He grabbed the gun and loaded the chamber.
I will put a hole in a motherfucker the size of fuckin’ Russia, Mr. Gomez. Anybody who knows me knows I can shoot straight and I ain’t afraid to pull the damn trigger. I told my mama ’bout this just in case something happens to me… so she’d know who done it. I don’t need my mama’s protection though, but you may need yours. If you try to pull any strings from prison – send a lynch mob for me, they’ll find themselves in a world of hurt. I can talk the talk and walk the walk. I got three things on my side—two fists and this here baby right here. It’s a triple threat, motherfucker. Don’t make me have to finish the job…
Te voy a destruir… (I will destroy you.)
CHAPTER TWELVE
Hey, Good Lookin’! What Ya Got Cookin’?
JOSHUA SAID HIS old babysitter practiced Hoodoo…
He said the old woman wore striped gowns and ancient combat boots, thick knitted socks that came up to her pointy knees, often had a cigar hanging out the side of her thick, crooked mouth and skin the color of Georgia dirt. Her hands were big for a lady and her wrists were covered in gold and fake jewels that caught the light of the sun just right. A diamond sparkled in her left nostril; her hair was wiry, dismal gray and short. She could look at someone with her dark, slanted eyes and put the fear of God in them.
Langston thought about that for some odd reason, rolling the thoughts around in his head for a mighty long time. Joshua had been a childhood friend from yesteryear, a boy he’d played with in his youth that had light brown hair, big green eyes, and a lanky build.
I ain’t seen that guy in over ten years… wonder where he’s run off to? He musta left Elsa… musta been set free like a spirit from a graveyard. Maybe the hoodoo babysitter set him free, cut his chains so he could breathe…
Langston sat at his girlfriend’s kitchen table, a pretty round wooden thing, roaming the halls of his mind as he simultaneously watched her stir a big, stainless steel pot. Stalks of celery had been diced up and put in chicken stock, along with chunks of white onions, lamb and various seasonings. She said she was going to put it over some rice and cornbread. Soft music played, a jazz station she enjoyed, so she swayed back and forth, sipping on water and sashaying about. He loved watching her wide hips move to the rhythm. He loved most of all falling asleep on her ass. He’d done it a time or two… felt just like a damn pillow.
Oh yeah, I know why I thought about Josh and his babysi
tter. He said she had a big pot just like that one; bones would be stickin’ out of it, tufts of animal fur, shit like that…
“So you got the recipe online, you said?” he said as he toyed with his phone, tossing it between his hands, forcing his mind to quit mulling the memories of his youth.
“Yes I did, but I told you I’m not the best cook. So, we’ll just see how it goes! I do alright I ’spose.” Yasmine chuckled. She looked so cute in her white two piece jogging suit and sneakers. He then saw her do something she’d done at least ten times in the last hour: look at the clock on the wall.
“Baby, he’s comin’. He’ll be here in like two hours. He gotta land first ’nd all that stuff.” She sighed, forced a smile, and reached for her bottle of water. Taking a big gulp, she went back to stirring the pot. Noah was due home from his trip and insisted he get an Uber ride. The boy was trying to establish more independence. The woman seemed to be struggling with it. Well, wasn’t no seeming about it; she was struggling.
“Yaz…”
“Yeah, baby?” She opened the refrigerator and removed a bag of carrots.
“I know I ain’t got no kids. I ain’t a father yet, and some folks get right insulted if someone who ain’t created life gives any advice on such matters but I remember what it was like bein’ Noah’s age.”
She paused and turned in his direction, but there was no smile on her face. She ain’t look happy, she ain’t look sad… she was just there, but he felt like he was steppin’ on thin ice nevertheless. Wasn’t any point in turning back now—the door was open. Time to walk on through.
“See, my parents were protective of me and my brothers and sisters. My mama is kinda laid back, but my father was a little strict. He ain’t want none of us gettin’ into any mess is all, so he laid down the law. Shit happened anyway, but they did the best they could. Ain’t nobody perfect.”
