Chapter Eighteen
The Tin Woodman Talks to Himself
The Tin Woodman had just noticed the cupboards and was curious to knowwhat they contained, so he went to one of them and opened the door.There were shelves inside, and upon one of the shelves which was abouton a level with his tin chin the Emperor discovered a Head--it lookedlike a doll's head, only it was larger, and he soon saw it was the Headof some person. It was facing the Tin Woodman and as the cupboard doorswung back, the eyes of the Head slowly opened and looked at him. TheTin Woodman was not at all surprised, for in the Land of Oz one runsinto magic at every turn.
"Dear me!" said the Tin Woodman, staring hard. "It seems as if I hadmet you, somewhere, before. Good morning, sir!"
"You have the advantage of me," replied the Head. "I never saw youbefore in my life."
"Still, your face is very familiar," persisted the Tin Woodman. "Pardonme, but may I ask if you--eh--eh--if you ever had a Body?"
"Yes, at one time," answered the Head, "but that is so long ago I can'tremember it. Did you think," with a pleasant smile, "that I was bornjust as I am? That a Head would be created without a Body?"
"No, of course not," said the other. "But how came you to lose yourbody?"
"Well, I can't recollect the details; you'll have to ask Ku-Klip aboutit," returned the Head. "For, curious as it may seem to you, my memoryis not good since my separation from the rest of me. I still possess mybrains and my intellect is as good as ever, but my memory of some ofthe events I formerly experienced is quite hazy."
"How long have you been in this cupboard?" asked the Emperor.
"I don't know."
"Haven't you a name?"
"Oh, yes," said the Head; "I used to be called Nick Chopper, when I wasa woodman and cut down trees for a living."
"Good gracious!" cried the Tin Woodman in astonishment. "If you areNick Chopper's Head, then you are Me--or I'm You--or--or--What relationare we, anyhow?"
"Don't ask me," replied the Head. "For my part, I'm not anxious toclaim relationship with any common, manufactured article, like you. Youmay be all right in your class, but your class isn't my class. You'retin."
The poor Emperor felt so bewildered that for a time he could only stareat his old Head in silence. Then he said:
"I must admit that I wasn't at all bad looking before I became tin.You're almost handsome--for meat. If your hair was combed, you'd bequite attractive."
"How do you expect me to comb my hair without help?" demanded the Head,indignantly. "I used to keep it smooth and neat, when I had arms, butafter I was removed from the rest of me, my hair got mussed, and oldKu-Klip never has combed it for me."
"I'll speak to him about it," said the Tin Woodman. "Do you rememberloving a pretty Munchkin girl named Nimmie Amee?"
"No," answered the Head. "That is a foolish question. The heart in mybody--when I had a body--might have loved someone, for all I know, buta head isn't made to love; it's made to think."
"Oh; do you think, then?"
"I used to think."
"You must have been shut up in this cupboard for years and years. Whathave you thought about, in all that time?"
"Nothing. That's another foolish question. A little reflection willconvince you that I have had nothing to think about, except the boardson the inside of the cupboard door, and it didn't take me long to thinkof everything about those boards that could be thought of. Then, ofcourse, I quit thinking."
"And are you happy?"
"Happy? What's that?"
"Don't you know what happiness is?" inquired the Tin Woodman.
"I haven't the faintest idea whether it's round or square, or black orwhite, or what it is. And, if you will pardon my lack of interest init, I will say that I don't care."
The Tin Woodman was much puzzled by these answers. His travelingcompanions had grouped themselves at his back, and had fixed their eyeson the Head and listened to the conversation with much interest, butuntil now, they had not interrupted because they thought the TinWoodman had the best right to talk to his own head and renewacquaintance with it.
But now the Tin Soldier remarked:
"I wonder if my old head happens to be in any of these cupboards," andhe proceeded to open all the cupboard doors. But no other head was tobe found on any of the shelves.
"Oh, well; never mind," said Woot the Wanderer; "I can't imagine whatanyone wants of a cast-off head, anyhow."
"I can understand the Soldier's interest," asserted Polychrome, dancingaround the grimy workshop until her draperies formed a cloud around herdainty form. "For sentimental reasons a man might like to see his oldhead once more, just as one likes to revisit an old home."
"And then to kiss it good-bye," added the Scarecrow.
"I hope that tin thing won't try to kiss me good-bye!" exclaimed theTin Woodman's former head. "And I don't see what right you folks haveto disturb my peace and comfort, either."
"You belong to me," the Tin Woodman declared.
"I do not!"
"You and I are one."
"We've been parted," asserted the Head. "It would be unnatural for meto have any interest in a man made of tin. Please close the door andleave me alone."
"I did not think that my old Head could be so disagreeable," said theEmperor. "I--I'm quite ashamed of myself; meaning you."
"You ought to be glad that I've enough sense to know what my rightsare," retorted the Head. "In this cupboard I am leading a simple life,peaceful and dignified, and when a mob of people in whom I am notinterested disturb me, they are the disagreeable ones; not I."
With a sigh the Tin Woodman closed and latched the cupboard door andturned away.
"Well," said the Tin Soldier, "if my old head would have treated me ascoldly and in so unfriendly a manner as your old head has treated you,friend Chopper, I'm glad I could not find it."
"Yes; I'm rather surprised at my head, myself," replied the TinWoodman, thoughtfully. "I thought I had a more pleasant dispositionwhen I was made of meat."
But just then old Ku-Klip the Tinsmith arrived, and he seemed surprisedto find so many visitors. Ku-Klip was a stout man and a short man. Hehad his sleeves rolled above his elbows, showing muscular arms, and hewore a leathern apron that covered all the front of him, and was solong that Woot was surprised he didn't step on it and trip whenever hewalked. And Ku-Klip had a gray beard that was almost as long as hisapron, and his head was bald on top and his ears stuck out from hishead like two fans. Over his eyes, which were bright and twinkling, hewore big spectacles. It was easy to see that the tinsmith was a kindhearted man, as well as a merry and agreeable one. "Oh-ho!" he cried ina joyous bass voice; "here are both my tin men come to visit me, andthey and their friends are welcome indeed. I'm very proud of you twocharacters, I assure you, for you are so perfect that you are proofthat I'm a good workman. Sit down. Sit down, all of you--if you canfind anything to sit on--and tell me why you are here."
So they found seats and told him all of their adventures that theythought he would like to know. Ku-Klip was glad to learn that NickChopper, the Tin Woodman, was now Emperor of the Winkies and a friendof Ozma of Oz, and the tinsmith was also interested in the Scarecrowand Polychrome.
He turned the straw man around, examining him curiously, and patted himon all sides, and then said:
"You are certainly wonderful, but I think you would be more durable andsteady on your legs if you were made of tin. Would you like me to--"
"No, indeed!" interrupted the Scarecrow hastily; "I like myself betteras I am."
But to Polychrome the tinsmith said:
"Nothing could improve you, my dear, for you are the most beautifulmaiden I have ever seen. It is pure happiness just to look at you."
"That is praise, indeed, from so skillful a workman," returned theRainbow's Daughter, laughing and dancing in and out the room.
"Then it must be this boy you wish me to help," said Ku-Klip, lookingat Woot.
"No," said Woot, "we are not here to seek your skill, but hav
e merelycome to you for information."
Then, between them, they related their search for Nimmie Amee, whom theTin Woodman explained he had resolved to marry, yet who had promised tobecome the bride of the Tin Soldier before he unfortunately becamerusted. And when the story was told, they asked Ku-Klip if he knew whathad become of Nimmie Amee.
"Not exactly," replied the old man, "but I know that she wept bitterlywhen the Tin Soldier did not come to marry her, as he had promised todo. The old Witch was so provoked at the girl's tears that she beatNimmie Amee with her crooked stick and then hobbled away to gather somemagic herbs, with which she intended to transform the girl into an oldhag, so that no one would again love her or care to marry her. It waswhile she was away on this errand that Dorothy's house fell on theWicked Witch, and she turned to dust and blew away. When I heard thisgood news, I sent Nimmie Amee to find the Silver Shoes which the Witchhad worn, but Dorothy had taken them with her to the Emerald City."
"Yes, we know all about those Silver Shoes," said the Scarecrow.
"Well," continued Ku-Klip, "after that, Nimmie Amee decided to go awayfrom the forest and live with some people she was acquainted with whohad a house on Mount Munch. I have never seen the girl since."
"Do you know the name of the people on Mount Munch, with whom she wentto live?" asked the Tin Woodman.
"No, Nimmie Amee did not mention her friend's name, and I did not askher. She took with her all that she could carry of the goods that werein the Witch's house, and she told me I could have the rest. But when Iwent there I found nothing worth taking except some magic powders thatI did not know how to use, and a bottle of Magic Glue."
"What is Magic Glue?" asked Woot.
"It is a magic preparation with which to mend people when they cutthemselves. One time, long ago, I cut off one of my fingers byaccident, and I carried it to the Witch, who took down her bottle andglued it on again for me. See!" showing them his finger, "it is as goodas ever it was. No one else that I ever heard of had this Magic Glue,and of course when Nick Chopper cut himself to pieces with hisenchanted axe and Captain Fyter cut himself to pieces with hisenchanted sword, the Witch would not mend them, or allow me to gluethem together, because she had herself wickedly enchanted the axe andsword. Nothing remained but for me to make them new parts out of tin;but, as you see, tin answered the purpose very well, and I am suretheir tin bodies are a great improvement on their meat bodies."
"Very true," said the Tin Soldier.
"I quite agree with you," said the Tin Woodman. "I happened to find myold head in your cupboard, a while ago, and certainly it is not asdesirable a head as the tin one I now wear."
"By the way," said the Tin Soldier, "what ever became of my old head,Ku-Klip?"
"And of the different parts of our bodies?" added the Tin Woodman.
"Let me think a minute," replied Ku-Klip. "If I remember right, you twoboys used to bring me most of your parts, when they were cut off, and Isaved them in that barrel in the corner. You must not have brought meall the parts, for when I made Chopfyt I had hard work finding enoughpieces to complete the job. I finally had to finish him with one arm."
"Who is Chopfyt?" inquired Woot.
"Oh, haven't I told you about Chopfyt?" exclaimed Ku-Klip. "Of coursenot! And he's quite a curiosity, too. You'll be interested in hearingabout Chopfyt. This is how he happened:
"One day, after the Witch had been destroyed and Nimmie Amee had goneto live with her friends on Mount Munch, I was looking around the shopfor something and came upon the bottle of Magic Glue which I hadbrought from the old Witch's house. It occurred to me to piece togetherthe odds and ends of you two people, which of course were just as goodas ever, and see if I couldn't make a man out of them. If I succeeded,I would have an assistant to help me with my work, and I thought itwould be a clever idea to put to some practical use the scraps of NickChopper and Captain Fyter. There were two perfectly good heads in mycupboard, and a lot of feet and legs and parts of bodies in the barrel,so I set to work to see what I could do.
"First, I pieced together a body, gluing it with the Witch's MagicGlue, which worked perfectly. That was the hardest part of my job,however, because the bodies didn't match up well and some parts weremissing. But by using a piece of Captain Fyter here and a piece of NickChopper there, I finally got together a very decent body, with heartand all the trimmings complete."
"Whose heart did you use in making the body?" asked the Tin Woodmananxiously.
"I can't tell, for the parts had no tags on them and one heart looksmuch like another. After the body was completed, I glued two fine legsand feet onto it. One leg was Nick Chopper's and one was CaptainFyter's and, finding one leg longer than the other, I trimmed it downto make them match. I was much disappointed to find that I had but onearm. There was an extra leg in the barrel, but I could find only onearm. Having glued this onto the body, I was ready for the head, and Ihad some difficulty in making up my mind which head to use. Finally Ishut my eyes and reached out my hand toward the cupboard shelf, and thefirst head I touched I glued upon my new man."
"It was mine!" declared the Tin Soldier, gloomily.
"No, it was mine," asserted Ku-Klip, "for I had given you another inexchange for it--the beautiful tin head you now wear. When the glue haddried, my man was quite an interesting fellow. I named him Chopfyt,using a part of Nick Chopper's name and a part of Captain Fyter's name,because he was a mixture of both your cast-off parts. Chopfyt wasinteresting, as I said, but he did not prove a very agreeablecompanion. He complained bitterly because I had given him but onearm--as if it were my fault!--and he grumbled because the suit of blueMunchkin clothes, which I got for him from a neighbor, did not fit himperfectly."
"Ah, that was because he was wearing my old head," remarked the TinSoldier. "I remember that head used to be very particular about itsclothes."
"As an assistant," the old tinsmith continued, "Chopfyt was not asuccess. He was awkward with tools and was always hungry. He demandedsomething to eat six or eight times a day, so I wondered if I hadfitted his insides properly. Indeed, Chopfyt ate so much that littlefood was left for myself; so, when he proposed, one day, to go out intothe world and seek adventures, I was delighted to be rid of him. I evenmade him a tin arm to take the place of the missing one, and thatpleased him very much, so that we parted good friends."
"What became of Chopfyt after that?" the Scarecrow inquired.
"I never heard. He started off toward the east, into the plains of theMunchkin Country, and that was the last I ever saw of him."
"It seems to me," said the Tin Woodman reflectively, "that you didwrong in making a man out of our cast-off parts. It is evident thatChopfyt could, with justice, claim relationship with both of us."
"Don't worry about that," advised Ku-Klip cheerfully; "it is not likelythat you will ever meet the fellow. And, if you should meet him, hedoesn't know who he is made of, for I never told him the secret of hismanufacture. Indeed, you are the only ones who know of it, and you maykeep the secret to yourselves, if you wish to."
"Never mind Chopfyt," said the Scarecrow. "Our business now is to findpoor Nimmie Amee and let her choose her tin husband. To do that, itseems, from the information Ku-Klip has given us, we must travel toMount Munch."
"If that's the programme, let us start at once," suggested Woot.
So they all went outside, where they found Polychrome dancing aboutamong the trees and talking with the birds and laughing as merrily asif she had not lost her Rainbow and so been separated from all herfairy sisters.
They told her they were going to Mount Munch, and she replied:
"Very well; I am as likely to find my Rainbow there as here, and anyother place is as likely as there. It all depends on the weather. Doyou think it looks like rain?"
They shook their heads, and Polychrome laughed again and danced onafter them when they resumed their journey.
The Tin Woodman of Oz Page 18
