"Well, look what the wind blew in. Jordan," Alanis said as we approached. "The rat himself."
Stuart looked down and we took our seat. The bus started away.
"We didn't think you'd have the nerve to show your face. Stuart," Alanis continued, poking him in the shoulder of the arm in the cast. "We're going to make sure everyone in school knows what a fink you are."
He turned to face us.
"It's not my fault." he whined. "I didn't know what I was saying. I was in pain and the cops were asking me questions quickly. I was drunk and they scared me. I'm sorry. If I wasn't drunk. I wouldn't have told them anything."
"Yeah, right."
"It's true. I'm sorry," he said. He looked at me. and I thought he really was sorry. "I didn't mean to get you into trouble. Jordan. It just came out."
"Yeah, you threw up your guts just like all cowards," Alanis said.
He looked like he was going to cry. Some of the students close by listened carefully and looked at him with disapproval.
"I told my father I was lying," he said. "I'm going to see Mrs. Browne first thing and tell her the same thing. I'm taking all the blame."
Alanis looked at him with some new interest.
"You better not be lying again. Stuart Gavin, 'cause if you are this time. I swear."
"No. You watch me. You can follow me to the office, if you want. I'm going right there and ask to speak with her as soon as I walk in the building."
"What are you going to tell her?"
"What you told her. She told my father your story. I came with the alcopops and you and your friends told me to leave. Then I crashed. I won't even mention giving Nikki and Raspberry a ride home."
Alanis nodded.
"Good," she said. "After you do that, I'm going to let Mrs. Browne have it between the eyes for accusing us and calling my granddad. He told my mother, but she was too drunk to understand." she whispered.
"I'm sorry, Jordan." Stuart said. I glanced at Alanis first, and then I nodded and smiled at him. I could see that made him very happy.
"He really likes you." Alanis whispered. "That's why he's doing it. He couldn't care a speck about me and Nikki and Raspberry. See." she added. "You already begun fishing and you already hooked him."
I looked at her and then at Stuart. I didn't know what I had done, but whatever it was, it made me feel good. I even suspected Ian would approve.
When we arrived at school, Alanis decided we should follow Stuart to see if he was telling the truth about what he was going to do. He didn't look back. He walked directly to the principal's office and went in.
"This will be interesting," Alanis said. "You'd better get to class. You don't want to be late for Mrs. Morgan. We'll group at lunch again and see what we can find out from Stuart."
I hurried to my classroom, getting there just before the first bell rang. Mrs. Morgan was at the door, ready to check my clothing, I thought, She looked me over carefully, then nodded. I went to my desk and took out my books. Before she went to her desk, she crossed the room and paused at mine.
"I understand. Miss March, that you're not here a day and you're already in serious trouble."
"No. I'm not," I said firmly.
She pulled her head back. "Oh?"
"You'll see," I said, my heart thumping, for I thought I might not be able to sound and look as brave as I wanted.
"Yes. I will see," she said. smiling. Everyone in the class was looking and listening.
When Mrs. Morgan passed the autobiographies around, mine was the most popular. I saw some of the students rushing others to finish reading it. As soon as one did, he or she looked at me again. Most looked very sad for me, but some just shook their heads.
Afterward. I did as well as anyone else in the room when it came to our homework and the questions Mrs. Morgan asked. She collected our papers, and we went on to do reading in our history textbooks. She then announced that we would have to buy physical education outfits, and she told how much it would cost. When the bell rang for lunch. I hurried out with the others, anxious to find out what Stuart had actually done.
"I bought you the same lunch you had yesterday with the fifty- dollar bill," Alanis told me as soon as I entered.
"I need thirty dollars for a physical education uniform."
"Yeah. I know. I'll have it for you. Don't worry. Just go to the table. I'm waiting for our hero."
I joined Nikki and Raspberry, who were already eating. How did they get here so fast? I wondered.
"I hope Stuart did what he said he would do," Nikki told me. "There he is."
I turned and saw Alanis talking to him. He nodded, and then she came to the table.
"He'll be here after he buys his sandwich. He said he did it." We all waited anxiously. He came and sat.
"Lucky for me I'm right-handed," he said.
"Does that hurt?" Raspberry asked him, nodding at his cast.
"A little. I gotta wear it for a long time, and of course. I can't work. I could drive with one hand, but delivering the tanks is impossible. My dad got the truck running. It's smashed up, but it runs. Needs a headlight," he added and bit into his sandwich.
"Mrs. Browne said you would lose your license.'
"I might. I gotta go to court, but until I do. I still have it," he told us.
"That's all great news. Stuart, but we want to hear what you told Mrs. Browne and what she said," Alanis said. He nodded, hurriedly chewed and swallowed.
"Just what I said I would tell her. I told her I came with the alcopops and you guys told me to leave. She sat there looking angry and told me it was just as much a crime to lie about a crime as it was to commit it. She tried to scare me," he added. "but I told her I wasn't lying. I was wrong to try to blame you guys. I think she believed me finally."
"Good," Nikki said.
"We won't have you assassinated now," Raspberry told him. He laughed and turned to me.
"Sorry I got you in trouble. Jordan."
"Let's forget about it already," Alanis said. "Next time, we'll all be more careful."
Stuart nodded and ate and smiled at me. I could see the smiles on the three girls.
"You want us all to sign your cast?" Nikki asked him. "Sure," he said and again looked at me.
"Who would you like to do it first?" Raspberry asked him.
"Jordan's closest." he said, digging into his pocket to get a pen. He handed it to me. "You can write anything you want," he said.
I wrote. Get better, Jordan.
"Nice," he told me. I gave him his pen.
"Do you even want anyone else to write on it. Stuart?" Nikki asked. teasing.
"If you want," he said.
"Naw. Raspberry?"
"I'm too tired to write anything."
"I don't put anything in writing," Alanis said, and the three of them laughed.
"So, tell us everything. Stuart. Are you confined to quarters like a bad sailor boy?" Nikki asked him.
"Hell, yeah. I gotta ao right home after school every day forever. But." he added with a wide smile of his own. "I can sneak out when I want. I still got my old motor scooter, and it's not hard to drive it with one hand. My dad's going to his small- business company convention this weekend, in fact. Maybe I'll come over to see you," he told me.
"We'll let you know if we're having any guests this weekend." Alanis answered for me. "I can't wait to see Mrs. Browne in the ball. I'm going to ask her if she thinks we still need lawyers."
Everyone laughed, even Stuart.
"You better take off your hat before you ask her that," I said.
"Don't worry about it. Okay. Stuart," Alanis said. You can eat lunch with us every day, if you want."
"I could? Thanks," he said.
"How do you get here so quickly?" I asked Nikki. "You're upstairs and I'm just down the halt"
"We ask to go to the bathroom sometimes and just come to the lunchroom.'
"Won't you get into trouble?"
"Naw," Raspberry said. "Our teachers are
happy to see us go." They laughed again.
Afterward. I looked for Mrs. Browne in the hallway to see if Alanis would do what she said she would. but I didn't see her. Stuart walked with me back to my classroom.
"MaybeI'll call you," he said. "I know your aunt's number."
"Great-aunt," I reminded him.
"Oh, yeah. right. See you," he said and hurried away.
Mrs. Morgan gave us as much homework, if not more, as she had the first day. so Great-aunt Frances's theory about first-day assignments didn't work. Just thinking about it all made my schoolbooks feel heavier in my bag.
"Stuart is smitten with love." Alanis told me when we boarded the bus.
"Smitten?"
"He's got a big crush on you. Don't worry. I'll tell you exactly what to do. It'll be fun," she said. "I can't wait to lay it into Granddad now that Stuart did that. Not that he'll apologize. It's just good to make him feel bad."
"Why? He's your grandfather."
"Trust me. Whenever you can make an adult feel sorry about what he or she said to you, you're better off."
There was so much to learn. I thought, so much that was new and different in this world.
When the school bus let us off at the end of the day, I saw Grandmother Emma's limousine parked in front of the house. My first thought was that she had gotten better and she'd had Felix drive her here-- or else. I thought, he really had told her everything and she had sent him back to get me. Alanis thought otherwise,
"That chauffeur came back here fast to check on my granddad. He's going to be in a bad mood now no matter what," she said. "I think I'll hang out with you a while longer."
We hurried up the driveway. When we entered, we heard Great-aunt Frances talking to Felix in the living room. They both turned when we appeared in the doorway.
"How we you doing, Jordan?" Felix asked. "Getting along at your new school?"
"It's harder," I said. "My teacher gives us too much homework."
"Alanis is being a big sister," Great-aunt Frances told him. "I'm sure she can help her."
Felix looked at Alanis, but suspiciously. I wondered if Great- aunt Frances had told him anything about Mrs. Browne calling.
"Her teacher ain't so nice," Alanis said. "but I'll do what I can."
"Thank you. dear." Great-aunt Frances said.
"How come you came back so soon. Felix?" I asked him, still hoping he had been sent to bring me home.
"Your grandmother sent me back to check on things for her. I see the house is in a little better order and the grounds are better. Anything on your list that needs attending?"
I'd forgotten to start one. but I didn't say so. I just shook my head.
"How is Grandmother Emma?"
"Well, she's made some progress. She's in active therapy now and her doctors are pleased.'
"What about my mother?" I asked quickly.
"I haven't heard anything new. Jordan. Sorry about that."
"Does my father know anything?"
"Maybe. If so, he hasn't told me."
"Did he get that special car?"
"Not yet."
"Didn't he want to come see me, come with you?"
"He took a little vacation," Felix said. "He and Kimberly went to Florida for a week."
"Oh. Do you know anything about Ian?" He just shook his head.
"Will you take us to see Grandmother Emma?" I asked. I was sorry about firing one question after another at him, but he wasn't telling me anything about my family.
"She doesn't want any visitors at the moment," Felix said. "What about taking us to see my mother. Can you?"
"I'll ask your grandmother," he said. He didn't sound hopeful.
"I want to write to Ian. but I don't know where to send the letter, Felix."
"I'll see if I can find that out for you," he said, but again, it didn't sound hopeful. It sounded empty, words without letters, words made of air.
"It does sound as if Emma will be here someday," Great-aunt Frances said. She looked very troubled.
Felix rose.
"Yes. I would expect so. Miss Wilkens. When she has her mind made up to do something. Mrs. March will do it one way or another."
"I know. You don't have to tell me about my sister." she said. He looked at Alanis and then at me.
"You just do the best you can for now. Jordan," he said. "I have a few matters more to discuss with Mr. Marshall, and then I'll be heading back. I brought some things for you and left them in a carton in your room,'" he added.
"Things for me?"
"Just stuff from your room back at the March house. Nancy packed them for me. She's given her notice," he said. "She's leaving in two weeks." He turned to Great-aunt Frances. "Nancy was your sister's housekeeper and cook."
"Yes. Jordan told me."
"I've got to find a new one now," Felix said.
He started out. I hated to see him go. Just talking to him about my family made me feel closer to them. He turned. and I think he saw the sadness in my face.
"I'll return again in a short time." he told me. "If something comes up, you know how to reach me."
I knew I would call my grandmother's house and press two when the telephone answering service rattled off the extensions. Two went directly to Felix. I nodded.
"Take care. Miss Wilkens." he told Great-aunt Frances.
As soon as he left. I turned to Alanis and said. "Let's go see what's in the carton."
She followed me up. It was a big carton on the floor at the foot of my bed. I hurried to it and opened it quickly. In it I found my framed pictures of my parents and Ian. which I showed to Alanis.
"Your mother's pretty and your father's pretty Good-looking too. So this is Ian," she said, studying his picture. "He's not bad-looking either."
"Oh, here's my Sleeping Beauty clock," I said, showing it to her. Now I can set my alarm myself."
I continued to take things out of the carton. There was more of my clothing, blouses, skirts, socks and a pair of sandals, too, but the most surprising thing of all was the book Ian had bought me. I Was a Girl and Now I Am a Woman. How had it gotten back to the mansion? I had left it in the cabin in the Poconos when Grandmother Emma had taken Ian and me home so my parents could meet there alone and discuss their problems. I was sure Grandmother Emma would be very angry if she found out that Nancy had sent my book along with the other things.
"Let me see that," Alanis said and plucked it out of my hands. "This the book you said your brother gave you?"
"Yes."
She started to flip through it and then stopped and smiled.
"This could be fun to read. Look at this chapter," she said, turning it to me. 'Female Pleasure Zones, Knowing Your Own Body.' I like the idea of that. You read this chapter?'
"Not yet."
"Well, we'll read it together," she said, sitting with her back to the bed. However, she began by reading to herself. While she did. I began to put away my clothing and set my pictures up on the dresser and on the desk.
"Damn." she said, looking up at me. "I never knew reading could be this much fun. There's lots of stuff here I never knew and can't wait to try," she added. "I'll have to thank your brother when we see him."
"See Ian? Do you think we ever will?"
"You just find out where he is." she said, her eyes narrow with determination. We can do anything. You saw that already. No one's gonna stop us."
She returned quickly to the book.
Maybe she was right. Maybe we could visit Ian. After all. Ian had gotten him and me in to see our mother all by ourselves. Alanis wasn't anywhere as smart as Ian, but she seemed to know how to get things done.
"Here's a word I heard but never knew what it meant: erogenous. We have erogenous zones." She looked up at me, her eyes wide as she smiled, "It says here there's nothing wrong with experimenting with your own body to learn about yourself, I didn't need a book to tell me that, but the school nurse never mentioned any of this in that health class I had to take. You know what?" sh
e said.
"What?"
"We'll form our own health class, a secret club, and call it the Erogenous Club. Just us. After I read all this. I'll be like the teacher. too,"
She thought a moment, looked at the page she was reading, which had an illustration on it I didn't understand, and then nodded at my bedroom door.
"Close the door." she said in a hoarse whisper. "We can't take the chance of even your great-aunt overhearing us. We don't tell anyone else about your book. okay?"
"Okay." I said and closed the door.
"This is the biggest secret we'll have. Jordan. You swear you won't tell anyone.."
"About what?"
"The book, the club!"
"Okay." I said, although in my heart of hearts, I wasn't sure Ian would approve. Then I had an idea why Ian would approve. "I won't tell if we call it the Erogenous Project instead of the Erogenous Club."
"Good idea," she said. "Makes it sound scientific and makes me sound more like a teacher. too. Good." She waved me off. "Don't bother me for a while." she added. 'I've got a lot to read, and usually I hate to read."
Like someone starving, she attacked the words and the pages while I sat looking at my pictures of my mother, father and Ian and wondering where and when we would find ourselves doing the simplest things together again, like sharing a dinner or riding in a car. At the moment. as I watched Alanis reading excitedly. I thought going back to the way things once were was as hard as being reborn.
11 Tadpoles
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"I just got another great idea." Alanis said, sitting there on the floor by my bed and looking around my room. She nodded. "A really great one.'
"What?"
"I should move in here with you." "Move in here?"
"Yes. I sleep on a sofa now, and I have about as much privacy as a goldfish. Granddad is always complaining about how much time I take in the bathroom. We've only got one. Besides. I can see where you need me around more. Your neat-aunt is more than a handful. I know I can convince my mother. I'll promise to do all the housework here. We both will. She'll be happy about that and take my side against my granddad in case he puts up opposition."
She paused and looked up at me.
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