By the time he reached the park, Lewis had worked up a sweat, as had his horse. Still he pushed on, riding as hard and fast as he dared within the confines of London. Had he been at Westwind, he would have ridden the fields for hours upon end until his mind was blank and his body was numb. Until he was so exhausted that he could return home and fall into a blissful, mindless sleep. However he could not do that here in London, much as he might wish to do so.
So after a few more turns about Rotten Row as fast as he dared, Lewis brought Thunderbolt up short and then paused for a moment to take in the already darkening sky before heading back to Mayfair. From the look of the clouds hanging low overhead, a storm was approaching. It might take some time to arrive, but it was coming and it would unleash its fury upon London without a care. Lewis simply hoped that he did not get caught up in what promised to be a very powerful storm that might very well also have the power to change his life - and the lives of those around him.
Chapter Twelve
"Lud, this theater is a complete crush this evening. I have no idea how you ladies tolerate such a crowd in those enormous gowns of yours." Standing ramrod straight beside Sophia, Adam indulged in a rare show of disgust as he glared at the theater patrons in his immediate vicinity. Well, rare for him these days, because in the time before Abigail, there was very little telling what he might do or say when he was annoyed. Or whom he might do or say it with.
"We ladies do what we must, my dear brother. After all of these years escorting me about Town, I am certain you realize that by now. I am simply glad that Abby was required to stay at home this evening. While I know she enjoys Shakespeare immensely, she would not be at all comfortable in this crowd. Even if she was not already ill." From the corner of her eye, Sophia watched as one of the older Society matrons, a Lady Alderton she believed, flitted by in a cloud of expensive French perfume on her way to a darkened and deserted area of the theater - likely to meet one of her young lovers for a brief assignation.
Immediately, Sophia felt herself blush, for that had been her not so very long ago. Once she might have sniffed in disdain watching the older woman scurry off to meet with her younger lover, likely anticipating the passion that would flare between them when they met. However after her time with Lewis at the Ice Ball, Sophia now knew that same heat and thrill of passion, and could not blame the woman in the least. Especially if the young man Lady Alderton was meeting caused the same flare of desire in the older woman that Lewis had within Sophia.
When Sophia had finally returned to the ballroom last evening, no one in her family even questioned her slightly mussed appearance or her pinked cheeks. And despite the on-dits that had appeared in the various papers that morning, not even her usually suspicious brother had believed a word of the gossip. Instead, he had been beside himself with worry for his wife who had taken ill at Lady Carlisle's. The strange mix of women's perfumes and oils, along with the peculiar fragrance that their hostess had simply referred to as a "delightful and icy scent" - and had sprinkled liberally about the ballroom, unfortunately for all - had caused a large number of female guests to disappear into the retiring room for long periods of time. Most likely to cast up their accounts, though no one would admit to such a thing or embarrass Lady Carlisle in that manner. At least not if they wished to keep their vouchers for Almack's.
When Sophia had returned to the ballroom looking a bit worse for the wear, everyone, Adam included, had simply assumed that she, too, had been affected by the cloying scent. And Sophia was not inclined to inform anyone otherwise. Especially her brother who did still have something of a short temper at times, especially when it came to his beloved sister.
Unfortunately however, Abigail had been among those most affected by the smell, and she had swooned in Adam's arms just as Sophia had returned, causing something of a minor scene. They had all departed the ball shortly after that, with Adam barking orders and demanding that Dr. Hastings be summoned to Reynolds House immediately. Given the way Sophia had looked when she reappeared in the ballroom, Adam had simply assumed that she, too, had been overtaken by the smell and hadn't said a word to her, other than to mutter a few words of sympathy mixed in with his rantings over the state of his wife's delicate health. Nor was Sophia about to correct him.
Instead she had allowed him to go on believing what he liked, and had willingly submitted to an examination from Dr. Hastings when the physician finally arrived at their town home just as the clock struck the two in the morning hour. As Sophia had expected, she was declared healthy, but unfortunately, Abigail had not. While the doctor did not believe that Abby was in any immediate danger, he had ordered her to bed for the rest of her pregnancy and declared her likely pregnant with twins rather than just a single babe. How the man could even tell such a thing, Sophia had no idea, but she trusted him, as did most of the ton. If he felt that bed rest for Abby was the best thing possible, then there was no question that she would follow the doctor's orders explicitly. Especially with Adam in charge.
"Do not remind me of my wife's delicate and fragile state, if you please," Adam sighed wearily. "I am trying not to think about her. Or rather worry about her, for I think of her all the time."
"She will be well. I truly believe that to be the case." Sophia squeezed her brother's hand in a show of comfort. At one point, such a gesture would have been impossible between them, but now it was normal. She was happy that she had repaired her relationship with her brother, if nothing else. "We must trust Doctor Hastings on this matter. He has yet to play any of us false, and he did save Lady Radcliffe's life after that wretched duel. Not many physicians could claim such a victory. I trust in his skills, as should you."
Adam looked around at the ever-increasing crowd once more and shuddered. "I know, and I do believe the same. Truly. However I also feel as if I should be home with her. She is my wife. I do not wish to lose her."
"You will not." Sophia wasn't sure how she was so positive of this, but she was.
"You cannot know that for certain, Soph." For the first time that she could remember, Sophia's headstrong brother appeared close to tears.
"I spent most of the day within her chambers, Adam. Trust that Abby is strong. She can handle more than you think."
The truth was that Sophia had done little more than sit beside Abby while the other woman had slept fitfully, yet the hours alone had afforded Sophia all the time she desired to think - about Lewis and his kisses. About last night and what, if anything, it meant. And about how her body had throbbed all night long when she dreamed of Lewis doing all of the things to her that she used to imagine Alex doing.
It was a difficult truth for Sophia to reconcile even now. Her body ached for release. She was, after all, a full-grown woman with a woman's desires. She could not simply order her body to stop feeling things simply because they made her uncomfortable. Yet in her mind, Sophia still feared letting down her guard. Over the years, she had built up fantasies in her mind about Alex, about how it would be between them in the bedchamber. She had read numerous lurid romance novels and listened to her friends gossip. When the reality she received was not the one she had imagined, it had been a crushing blow, made even worse by the fact that she had not had a choice in the matter.
For a time after that night, Sophia had believed that intimacy between her and a man would not matter, that she could take a husband who would not wish to touch her and that such a relationship would suffice. The truth was, she had been utterly terrified of feeling passion and desire, of wanting that sort of intimacy, ever again. Now she realized how very wrong she had been in her thinking.
Until last night. When everything had changed and nothing was the same within her world. And likely never would be again. Another life-altering night at the hands of a man. Except that this time, Sophia had been a willing participant. Almost an eager one. And she had not felt fear, but rather desire. Nor had she run away in response to those feelings as she had expected. If anything, she simply craved more. But only from him.
>
Her impulsive gesture was merely supposed to have been a simple kiss of thanks. Then it had turned into something much bigger, something far greater than she could have ever anticipated. For that kiss had awoken Sophia's physical desires from where they had lain dormant since that night. For the first time in a long while, she thought of physical intimacy with a man and did not fall into a blind panic. Oh, she was still frightened, to be certain, but she now believed that she wanted to try to be with a man. She wanted to try to be with Lewis.
Only he would understand her fears and not laugh at her or mock her. He was the only man she knew that would not force her to do something she did not wish to. Lewis was the only man she trusted to share her body with this first time. But if she could find pleasure with him? Then perhaps she could find it with another man as well.
But this first time? It had to be Lewis Blackmore. There could be no other.
"Sophia? Are you listening to me?"
Adam's voice broke into her thoughts. "I am sorry, Adam. I was woolgathering again. What did you ask me?"
"I asked if you wished to leave and return to Reynolds House. I will stay if you desire, but if tonight is not strictly necessary to Mama's plan, then we could leave. I could be with Abby. Just in case she needs me." There was no question from the expression on Adam's face what he would like to do at that very moment and she could not blame him.
Sophia was torn. On one hand, she needed to keep up the ruse with Lewis. Moreover, she craved his company and wished to see him again. On the other hand, she did not wish to deprive her brother from being by his wife's side if he felt it necessary. If the roles had been reversed, she knew that she would feel the same.
If only their mother had been able to accompany Sophia to the theater and serve as a proper chaperone. However the dowager had come down with a cold and was in bed resting as well. Earlier that day, she had proclaimed herself well enough to go out, but another visit from Hastings had indicated otherwise. Not to mention that the physician was worried about the dowager "spreading" her cold to Abby, who would then be at an even greater risk. Sophia was not quite certain how such a process as "spreading" worked, but then she was not a physician. She would simply have to trust that Dr. Hastings knew a great number of things that she did not. Especially when it came to physical health.
Because of the late hour of the physician's visit, there hadn't even been time to engage the services of a Gray Lady, though even if there had been, Sophia wasn't quite certain what state that organization was in at the moment. Especially with the presumed head of the group, a Miss Cassandra Grove who was the current ward of the new Marquess of Berkshire, extremely ill herself with a very high fever at the moment. So it was her brother or nothing, and if Adam wished to depart to be by his ailing wife's side, Sophia would not deprive him. It was simply a pity there was not another alternative.
Glancing about, Sophia's gaze finally came to rest upon Eliza on the far side of the theater lobby. She did not see Nicholas, but wherever his wife went, the Bloody Duke was never far behind these days. "Look. There is Eliza. I know that she is my age, but she is married now. Certainly she and Nicholas will suffice as chaperones, and it is not as if Lord Blackmore will be staying long, I am certain. The theater does not interest him much. This was just another ploy to bring attention to our supposed courtship."
Adam snorted. "The Bloody Duke would make a fine chaperone for any young lady. No man would dare approach her for fear he might end up with a knife at his throat for bad behavior."
"I am not so terrible as all of that, am I?"
The voice came from behind Adam and Sophia and they turned in unison to see the grinning visage of Nicholas Rosemont, the Duke of Candlewood - also known as The Bloody Duke.
"You can be rather terrifying when you wish to, my love." That came from Lady Eliza who had joined the group. "Sophia. I did not expect to see you here this evening. I had thought you were attending Lord and Lady Fenton's fete."
"Change of plans," Adam groused with a shake of his head. "Then again, you likely know why." He eyed the duke shrewdly. "For I have a feeling that part of my mother's plan for Sophia came directly from you. Interfering matchmaker that you have become in your doddering old age. Not that I necessarily disagree with you upon the matter, either."
Nicholas, however, was all innocence. "I have no idea what you mean. I merely suggested to your mother that finding Lady Sophia a suitor who was above reproach would go a very long way to quelling any nasty rumors. Even though the meeting at the Bull and Toad that night was rather innocent, there are those among us who might have the wrong idea and spread unsavory rumors. A pity that, for that sort of unfounded gossip makes me rather upset."
Candlewood made his last pronouncement rather loudly, far louder than was necessary, but Sophia did not question him. She had learned long ago that Nicholas was always in control and he always had a plan. It was often best to simply let him manage the situation as he saw fit. And, well, no one was truly foolish enough to cross The Bloody Duke when he was in a snit about something. Or wished to make a firm point, as he was doing at this very moment.
Behind her, Sophia could hear the snap of fans opening and the chatter of whispering voices begin to start up. So. The rumors were starting already. Then again, those rumors were precisely what Sophia and her family wished for them to hear so there was that to consider.
Then Nicholas turned back to Adam as coolly as one pleased. "So you wish for me to escort her then? I would be more than happy to do so, as it will give Sophia and Eliza plenty of time to chat. I know my wife has missed her old friend the last several months, and I believe it would do all of us some good to enjoy a pleasant evening for a change."
"I have no idea how you knew that was precisely what I was about to request, but yes, I would be ever so grateful for the assistance." Adam shook his head.
"I simply know things." Nicholas smiled wolfishly, his grin both enigmatic and somehow a bit terrifying at the same time. "I am the Bloody Duke, after all." Then he turned as movement from the right side caught his eye. "Ah. I believe this is our suitor now. Lord Blackmore. It is good to see you."
Lewis bowed low. "Lord Candlewood. A pleasure as always." It was clear from the confused expression on his face that Lewis had no idea why the duke was with the little group, but Sophia hoped she could provide him with the details later. Otherwise, this would be a very awkward performance indeed.
"I will be playing the role of chaperone for you and Lady Sophia this evening while Lord Hathaway returns home to his ailing wife. Terrible thing and he must be on his way soon, I am certain." Candlewood smiled again, only this time, there was a gleam in his eyes that Sophia could not interpret.
Now everyone save for Nicholas himself was confused, but instead of protesting, Adam simply bowed and left the theater. Not that Sophia blamed him. He wished to be home with his wife.
Sophia was about to offer her thanks to Nicholas, but before she could, he turned and loudly proclaimed as if on the stage himself, "There is my good friend Lord Raynecourt! Come, duchess, as we need to make our introductions. I have not seen him or his lovely bride in an age. Lord Blackmore, I trust that you can see Lady Sophia safely to your box, can you not? We shall join you in a moment." Then he was gone, striding through the crowd, ostensibly towards Lord Raynecourt and his wife Sarah, though Sophia could not swear to that as she had not seen either Rayne or his new bride.
Once more, she tried to speak, but Lewis swiftly tucked Sophia's arm into his and all but dragged her through the lobby and towards the stairs that led to the private boxes.
"Lewis!" Sophia exclaimed when they were safely behind the curtain to an empty box and truly alone. "What are you doing?"
"Using the opportunity that Lord Candlewood has provided us wisely, for I do not know when we will have another," he replied, pulling her further into the darkness. "After all, I am a military man and I would not be so daft as to go against the Bloody Duke, now would I?"
It was just on the tip of Sophia tongue to ask what he meant when suddenly, realization dawned. "He wishes for us to be alone for some reason, yet also desires everyone else to believe that we are on our way to his box."
"Precisely. He has a plan of some sort, though I confess that I do not know it or even why he is interested. Or how he manages to manipulate events to his liking, as I am all but certain he is the one who has placed that pleasant, and at times completely untrue, gossip about us in the papers as of late. It is rumored, though, that he knows the true identity of Madame C. One of the few who does, I am certain." Lewis shook his head. "More to the point, I think that despite rumors to the contrary, the Bloody Duke has a soft spot for his wife. And for his wife's friends. I think he wishes for you to be well and happy and protected. As Eliza both was and is, for that was his life's mission for a very long time, even if no one, including Eliza herself, realized what he was about."
Sophia nodded in agreement. "And Nicholas recognizes that without you continuing to escort me about town during the Little Season, the rumors about that night at the Bull and Toad will only continue to grow. And possibly get out of hand once more."
Lewis chuckled and Sophia could tell that the duke's machinations amused Lewis rather than angered him. "I only realized it just now as I entered the theater and saw him standing there as if he was directing a play and we were all merely the actors within it."
"He is good," Sophia agreed. "Very good." Then she paused and in the dim light, Lewis watched her bite her lip. "So what did you want to talk about?"
"I missed you." Lewis felt her tremble as he pulled her farther into the unused box. "After last night, I thought about you all bloody day, Sophia, even though I know that it is wrong and that I should not. Yet I find that I cannot help myself. I simply...wished for you to know that."
After his ride that morning, Lewis' head had indeed cleared a bit, though not as much as he would have liked. When he had been left with at least some clarity of thought, he was also left with one very irrefutable fact. He was thoroughly enamored of Sophia. He wanted her. He desired her. And if he could somehow manage it, he would have her.
A Gentleman by Moonlight Page 16
