by Brian Blose
“My name is Tzem. Now tell me why you kill people.”
“That’s not your name,” Erik said. “You are Hess.”
The startled twitch proved everything. Erik found he couldn’t stop giggling. “I spent over a year following your path and now you find me.”
“Careful,” Elza said to her man.
“Something isn’t right about him,” Hess said.
“I expected you to be weak.” Erik put a hand to his broken nose. “All those stories of love and helping the people. I’m so very happy you’re not. It makes you much more interesting.”
Hess hefted the walking stick. “Why were you following us?”
“Oh, Hess, I just wanted to meet someone like me.”
For several heartbeats, no one moved. Then Hess tossed the walking stick aside. “We are nothing alike, Observer.”
Erik stood slowly, eyes tracking the tension that never left Hess. “I believe Elza just accused you of participating. Sounds like the two of you have a disagreement. An old one, I'd say. Might even go back to the first world if I’ve put the clues together right. Way I see it, we have to do some participating if we’re going to discover answers to the hard questions. Ain’t that how you see things, Hess? Ain’t we two plantains from the same bunch?”
“He doesn’t kill for pleasure,” Elza said.
“Neither do I. Though I do find pleasure in my work.”
Hess folded his arms. “I won’t let you kill this man.”
“No worries. I've lost interest in Geron. I want to talk.”
“Good. We have a camp a few miles from here. What is your name?”
Erik blinked. After losing their trail, he had stopped his efforts to select an appropriate moniker. He had assumed so many names over the years. Names he had worn and discarded in rapid succession. None of them meant anything to him.
“Maybe you shouldn't have started with such a difficult question,” Elza muttered.
He glared at her. “Erik. My name is Erik.”
“Sounds awful hard to remember,” she said.
Hess grunted. “Follow me and we will have that talk.”
Chapter 26 – Hess / Iteration 145
Erik returned approximately ten hours after his unannounced departure, whistling a jaunty tune as he kicked the locked door open. Once inside, he went straight to their food stores, seized a box of animal crackers, and proceeded to dump fist fulls into his mouth, sending crumbs cascading from the corners of his mouth as he chewed.
“Fucking city's an edible food vacuum,” he said. “Would'a eaten me some survivors, but that shit's never good raw.”
Drake's attempt to fade into the background resulted in a tin can crashing to the floor to scatter nuts in a riot of sound. Erik rolled his eyes. “So what's the dealio, Mr. Hess? Your woman ditch you for reals? Look at the bright side, she made you a big bomb first. If that ain't love, then nothing is.”
Hess found his voice. “What do you want?”
“Food. Conversation. Some of your shop tools. I've got a friend waiting for me not far from here. We are going to have so much fun. I haven't had a single moment of me-time this whole fucking Iteration. Only time I got close to torture, it was from the wrong side. Amateurs didn't even know what they were doing. Iteration twenty-seven. Those boys were masters of the trade. Masters. They used belt sanders to strip away my skin. Made a fucking game of it. Competed to see which of them could remove the most flesh before it started to come back.”
“You got caught before?” They were Ingrid's first words in days.
Erik shrugged. “This is time number three. You'd think I might learn a lesson or some shit, but that's not my style. And ya gotta respect my style. Ain't that right, Hess? I mean, I never had a woman leave me.”
Jerome cleared her throat.
“The fuck? Don't tell me you got some contrary factoid in Encyclopedia Observia that says otherwise.” Erik's easy smile faltered. He poked his finger hard at Jerome's flat chest. “And don't you go misconstruing that bitch Beeta and her suiciding ways.”
“Easy,” Hess growled.
“You got your replacement woman picked out already? Nice, Hess. Don't let your dipstick get dry.”
“Enough. We have business.” Jerome pointed one finger at Ingrid and another at Erik. “The Creator instructed me to conduct a vote. Choice one is all Observers have their memories wiped. Choice two is everything stays the same. Failure to answer in a timely fashion will be considered a vote in favor of the memory wipe.”
Silence.
Erik looked around the room. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Ingrid waited for Jerome's somber denial before responding. “Wipe us. Creator should have done it a long time since.”
“Shit!” Erik glared at Jerome. “I say no. What's the vote at?”
“Five votes for. Two votes against.”
Erik retrieved a screwdriver from the floor and moved to stand above Hess. “What did you vote, lover-boy?” He leaned forward. “Did you vote to put your sorry ass out of its misery?”
Hess sat back in his chair. “Get out of my face, Erik.”
“What. Was. Your. Vote.”
“I'm you're only ally in this, Erik.”
“You voted for life?” Erik considered that. “What about now? You still feel that way without your lady friend?”
“I would vote to wipe your mind in an instant, Erik. But I'm not willing to sacrifice myself to get there.”
Erik's dour expression flipped to sunshine instantly. “I hear ya, brother. To hell with everyone but numero uno. Well, I got lots of anti-therapy to conduct. Take it easy, Hess. I hope the rest of you come down with kidney stones and hemorrhoids.”
On his saunter to the door, Erik broke into a frantic shuffle, slammed Drake into the wall, and drove his screwdriver into Drake's eye socket, pushing it deep until only the handle remained free. “Oh ya,” Erik said, voice dripping honey, “almost forgot to tell you fuckers. Might be a good idea to watch yer backs. I'm a tad sore over this voting thing.”
They watched Erik leave, then Drake pull a tool free of his head. Within two hours, Ingrid and Drake were gone, departing without words of farewell or even a backward glance.
Jerome sat across from Hess when the two of them were alone. Her sharp features seemed to radiate loneliness far more acutely than what he felt. “Don't feel bad that he left without a kiss,” Hess said. “I'm sure you know better than me how many hookups there have been in the history of the Observers. It's a cheap thrill to them.”
“Drake was an asshole,” Jerome said. “I'm not going to miss him. For a while, though, while we were planning the operation, I felt like I was part of the team. I was finally one of you. I'm just realizing how much I'm going to miss that.”
Hess looked down at his hands. “As you might be aware, I have not a thing to do with myself. And that body of yours remains the most pathetically useless shell to ever house an Observer. If you want a chaperone or a side kick or a traveling companion, just say the word.”
“I'd like a friend.”
“Then you have one.”
Chapter 27 – Erik / Iteration 145
She waited just as he'd left her. Erik hummed a tune while he undid the convoluted trappings that kept her in place. First he removed the lock from the chain's links and unwrapped Simone's legs. Then he rolled the woman to extricate her from the tarp. After that, he cut the duct tape binding her legs together.
Erik pulled the hood from her head and flashed his brightest smile. “Simone! I've missed our visits!”
Tangled and knotted hair crowned her head like a drunken bird's nest. Snot and slobber foamed around her mouth like a slimy goatee. Her eyes squinted at the light. “I want you to kill me now,” she said.
He snapped his fingers. “Well, gosh darnit, you outsmarted me! Now I don't get to torture you. I'm just shit out of luck, aren't I?” Erik smiled. “Actually, sweetie, since you broke the rules, now I get to break the rules.”
&
nbsp; Erik spent five minutes manhandling her into a seat. Even with her arms bound behind her back, Simone had plenty of muscle mass to resist him with. When he had her in place, they were both panting and covered in sweat.
“You're making me work for my reward,” he said.
“Please don't do this to me, Erik. I never hurt you.”
“Aw, did you think we were friends?” He used nylon rope to tie her legs to those of the chair. Overkill, considering he had already secured her to the back of the chair with a tow ratchet around her waist. Over time, he would crank the ratchet ever tighter until it became impossible for her to expand her diaphragm. She would still be able to inhale by expanding her chest, but it would never be quite enough to fully catch her breath.
“Please, Erik.”
“Do you really think I owe anything to you?”
Simone blinked tears from her eyes. “You told me you have a question you ask all your victims. Has anyone ever answered right?”
Erik's smiled faded. “No. Not one.”
“Have you ever considered that torture might not be the way to get the right answer?”
“Here's the thing, Simone. It's kinda a trick question. I want to hear the answers you people give not because they're right, but because you think you believe them. You can't pass my test, Simone, cause it ain't a test. It's more like an experiment. Like a dissection, really. I use knives, dig up organs and shit like that. Good times.”
She shook her head. “You're looking for something. I know you are. I studied you like you study us. And you didn't try to hide anything.”
“Thing is, tubby, you're not like me. I have a perfect fucking memory. Anything I notice stays with me forever. And I have lifetimes of experience telling me what I should be noticing. What have you got? Enough brains to impress the other cockroaches? A shit ton of memorized religious verses? You don't know shit.”
“I know that in your heart you're serving something greater than yourself. You are loyal, Erik. You have rules for yourself. You break all human rules, but not the ones you set for yourself.”
“Actually, it turns out I have been the Creator all along. Part of the Creator, at least. I'm still processing the news, but I'm pretty sure I don't have to follow any rules anymore.”
Simone wept quietly as Erik set his instruments up. A kitchen grater, screwdrivers, a drill, an old leather belt, a welding torch, sandpaper, and more. He could have prepared his tools before starting, but it was more fun to let his victims watch a review of the implements.
“Cheer up, sunshine. Since I'm the Creator, that means your answer was delivered. The Creator will continue to create. Happy ending, right?”
“You begged when they hurt you,” she said.
“Course I did. Getting hurt hurts.”
“What do you think you'll gain from my pain?”
Erik frowned. “Well, I really wanted to know how hard you would fight for life. And to hear your answer. But you knew about the game, so all that's left is causing pain.”
“Why?”
“Well, everyone needs a hobby. And I can't crochet worth shit.”
She continued to stare at him, hope in her eyes. Hope that he would kill her. Erik sighed. “Fine. I'll make you a deal. I will ask you the question. If you give a good answer, then you get a quick finish. No torture.”
“Is there an answer?”
He shrugged. “Not a right one. But give me the truth as you see it and I will make things easy.”
Simone swallowed. “OK.”
“Here is the million dollar question. Why do your people hate the world?”
She opened her mouth and Erik raised a finger. “Take some time to think it over. I want a considered response.”
“I've been asking the same question for almost a year,” she said. “And I think I know the answer.”
Erik spread his hands. “Really? Enlighten me.”
“They're afraid,” Simone said. “All of us are. We look at the world and we realize how insignificant we are. Any sane person recognizes that we cannot control our own lives. Deispite preaches living with dignity, but that is only possible under controlled circumstances.
“Events outside our control happen all the time. Earthquakes, tsunamis, forest fires, auto collisions, diseases, other people. You think we want our lives to be perfect, but that's not it. We just want to feel safe. But that's impossible for us. You just laugh because you know nothing can ever leave a mark on you. We can't do that. The world is so much greater than we are and it can crush us in a moment.
“We are afraid of the world. That's what drags Deispite down. We have this religion with dignity at its core, but the only message people take away from it is that we should blame someone else for our misfortunes. It's such a tangled mess. Deispite is its own worst enemy.”
“All your institutions are shit,” Erik said. “I never saw a religion that didn't undermine itself in some way.”
“Was my answer good enough for you?”
Erik folded his arms in front of his chest. “To be honest, chica, you got me a bit intrigued. Not enough for a clean finish, but maybe you could earn a reduced sentence. Only an hour or so in the chair if you keep my interest. Go ahead and elaborate on your ideas.”
After a minute, she began to speak again. “I told you why people hate the world. It's just fear. But you want me to explain, so I will tell you why you are wrong about us.
“We don't want to die and we don't want the world to stop existing. We want to live. And the proof of that is in our fear. If we were as nihilistic as you believe us, what would we have to fear? The only reason to feel concern over losing something is if it has value to you. You can twist us so that we are so terrified of the world that we choose to die, but that doesn't change the fact that at one point we did value our lives.”
Simone looked at him, swallowed, and kept speaking.
“You think Deispite is about hating the Creator. It's not. At least it shouldn't be. People fixate on blaming someone else, but the central message is dignity. That is the important part. Everything that contradicts that message has to be removed.
“We are autonomous beings. We have choices every moment about how to live our lives. People ignore the possibilities their lives hold because it is easier to blame someone else. They are afraid to take advantage of the choices life offers. They cower behind traditions and rules instead of living their lives.
“The Book of Grievances says 'Damn the Creator'. I think that's a good start. It doesn't go far enough, though. Damn the Church. Damn the Government. Damn anyone who takes away my dignity by telling me I'm not responsible for my own life.
“We have no obvious purpose in this world. The Creator left out the instruction manual. Each of us gets to decide our own purpose. That is dignity. The ability to define ourselves and succeed or fail on our own.”
Erik stared at her.
“Those are my honest thoughts, Erik. Please kill me now.”
He picked up a knife, looked at Simone, then back to the knife. “I got to be honest, Simone. That was one hell of an answer. Maybe there's something to Reverse Polish Interrogation after all.”
“You promised to kill me fast if I gave you a good answer.”
Erik hefted the knife, feeling its solid weight in his hand. “I know what I promised, but I've had a change of heart.” He studied the knife.
Simone squeezed her eyes shut.
Erik sighed. “This sets a terrible precedent.”
Chapter 28 – Hess / Iteration 145
Jerome packed food and equipment while Hess prepared their bugout car. The EMP from Demiurge’s Dick had scrambled any circuits within the city, so their collection of emergency vehicles consisted of dilapidated vehicles whose manufacture predated micro-electronics. He topped off the fluids, swapped out the battery, filled the gas tank, and verified the engine would turn over.
Then Erik reappeared. Jerome and Hess exchanged a wary glance before Hess took the lead. “What do you want,
Erik?”
“Hey, easy on the hating, blue balls. I came back as a favor.”
Hess felt his eyebrows climb his forehead. “A favor?”
“Wanted to give you some advance warning. I released my latest project not far from here.”
“Is 'released' a euphemism?”
Erik rolled his eyes. “Why, yes, as a matter of fact, released is a euphemism for probably bringing a fucking army this way. Seriously, Hess, learn the language.”
“You let someone go?” Jerome's voice screeched. “What did he say? What was his reason?”
“Now, Jerome, that's none of your business.” Erik nodded to Hess. “You might want to get a sense of urgency.”
“Erik,” Hess said. “Why did you let the guy go?”
Erik hesitated. “Actually, it was a woman, you sexist pigs. And she said some things that blew my fucking mind.”
“What did she say?”
“Well, Hess, that's my little secret. Don't worry though, I doubt the two of us have been looking for the same answer all this time.” Erik walked through the door without looking back.
Hess turned to Jerome. “That's the last time we will ever see him. For some insane reason, I think I might almost miss him.” He looked wistfully around the garage. “We might as well get started on our farewell tour.”
Chapter 29 - Erik / Iteration 2
Several miles from where Erik attacked Geron, Hess and Elza had a camp set up on an exposed hill that overlooked six villages in the distance. In one of those villages, the people swarmed like ants to fight a fire consuming nearly a quarter of its buildings.
The three of them stood in silence. “Are meetings between Observers always this awkward, or are the two of you just sore I ruined your little adventure?”
“Adventure?” Hess said.
“You were going to catch a killer,” Erik said. “I ruined your fun.”
Hess and Elza exchanged a glance.
