by Erin Raegan
I turned to look over my shoulder. Ignyt, along with Ohta and Hylg, gave her a half bow and thumped his chest. Peyton looked at me with a question in her eye, and I shook my head. I had no answer for her.
“Uh, are you guys here to see Sym?” Peyton asked, puzzled.
Ignyt looked at the baby briefly then back at me.
Peyton’s eyes followed his to me and her mouth quirked up. “Right.”
No, not right. Whatever she was thinking was the opposite of right.
“You want to hold him?” Peyton gestured to the baby in Nick’s arms. I would have thought Star would have had him by now, but she seemed content to watch him sleep.
I nodded fast, my hands already itching to hold him. Nick gestured for me, and I took the baby before sitting in the chair he stood from. Roxy came over and looked at Sym, her face next to mine.
“He looks just like them,” Peyton murmured, watching us. When we looked at her, she snorted. “There’s hardly anything human about him.”
“He’s so cute,” I whispered, my finger running along the outside edge of his little wing. It fluttered and curled around my finger, hugging it. I smiled so wide my cheeks hurt.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Sym. He was beautiful. Tiny wings. Smooth lilac skin. He had a tuft of dark hair that was matted down and slightly curled. His ears lifted from the sides of his head unlike the Dahk’s, but they were still pointed at the tips.
Star sighed. “I want one.”
Nick choked on a chuckle and walked to the door. “Not for a long, long while, kiddo.” He turned then spun back around. “And maybe not an alien. They’re cool and all, but those guys are a little too intense.”
I’ll say.
8
Lydia
Sym was the beginning of something great. At least, seeing him felt that way. Either he would help bring us humans and the Dahk together or he would help drive us apart, but being around him felt like a gift. His birth should have been impossible. Human science would argue we couldn’t procreate with a species so different from ours. But he was living proof it was possible. Maybe even inevitable.
And he was so loved, I couldn’t help but want to be a part of that love. The first week of his life, I couldn’t stay away. No one could. Peyton encouraged me to visit as often as possible, and I found I had a knack for helping put him to sleep when Peyton was too exhausted.
But by the second week, she was feeling much better and she didn’t need as much help. Still, I helped out when her enormous family was busy or Peyton was sleeping. Tahk didn’t even mind me hanging around.
When I felt like I was intruding on them, Vivian was eager to pull me over to Prin, and before I knew it, Byda was asking for help with Saysa. I had a way with babies, they said. Prin cried so much with me that I didn’t see it at first, but Vivian swore I calmed her down almost as good as Vyr. Apparently, she was fussy by nature and very spoiled.
Vivian had a demanding job, so I was more than happy to help out during the days she worked. Peyton was getting around more and Tahk had moved her potting wheel to the castle, so she would sit with me, working at her wheel while I watched both babies.
I wasn’t quite sure how it happened, but I had kind of become the castle nanny, and I loved it. It was fulfilling in a way working in the kitchen never was for me.
My days were brighter, my mood light and happy.
Except for one shadow. Ignyt.
I never did learn what had happened to my old guards, though I saw them around the castle.
Ignyt was with me at night, while Ohta and Hylg took turns following me during the day. When the babies were with me, my guard was enormous, but Ignyt and his buddies never backed off. They were always close— my silent shadows.
They weren’t the only ones that worried me though. Baby Sym was a bit of a celebrity. Dahk from all over the world had been flying in to bless him. Tahk rarely let more than one visit him at a time, but the Dahk waited in a line that seemed unending. It had Peyton on pins and needles all day long.
It was strange to me that hundreds, if not thousands, of Dahk were allowed to visit with Sym, but that was human-think. The Dahk didn’t think it was strange at all. Tahk glowed with pride during each and every visit, but that wasn’t to say he wasn’t on guard at all times.
When a visitor came, they weren’t allowed to touch the dahkling. They weren’t even allowed to get close. These blessings were different from those that took place at the time of the birth. Sometimes they were just words, an passionate prayer. Sometimes they were in the form of gifts. Sometimes the Dahk just wanted to bear witness to the miracle that was Sym.
The baby had more clothes and toys and wraps than Peyton knew what to do with. He was given hundreds of beads the Dahk wore in their ridges. Elegant robes and furs. But those weren’t even the most common gifts. Sym was amassing an enormous collection of swords, daggers, and all kinds of alien weapons. He wouldn’t be able to touch them for years and years, but Tahk placed every one in a chest with care. And I knew they would one day be in the hands of a human-Dahk commander.
The latest sword, with a beautiful hilt of chipped glowing stones, was held up by an older male Dahk and laid at Peyton’s feet as she held Sym out to the visiting male.
“My father’s,” the male rasped. He was hunched and his short ridges were shot with a light grey, giving away his age in a way nothing else did. “He won many battles for the old king with this sword.”
“I am honored,” Tahk said. “My son will care for it as you have.”
The male beamed and bowed to Peyton and Tahk then again to Uthyf and Mona. “My queen, it is an honor to meet you.”
Mona’s smile wobbled. She was still unused to the attention.
After the male left, Peyton sighed and sat on a bench. “How many more of these?”
“Are you tired?” Tahk asked.
Peyton frowned and nodded. Sym had been keeping her up at all hours of the night. He was a hungry and demanding baby.
“Go and rest,” Tahk ordered, taking Sym from her arms and handing him to me.
The blessings were taking up a lot of time since they had to be done one at a time in order to keep Sym safe. If Tahk had mated another Dahk and had a child, the crowd of visitors may not have been so large. Then again births were so rare, I had a feeling this many would visit their commander’s child regardless. If Mona and Uthyf had a child, I couldn’t even imagine the turn-out.
But still, under normal circumstances, a big gathering would be held over just a day or two as blessings to the dahkling were given en masse. But not for Sym. It was too dangerous. So they visited one by one. Tahk had warned us it could go on for weeks.
That didn’t make Peyton happy. She didn’t think Sym should have to endure so many visits. But denying the Dahk would insult the alien race we were living with even more than our mere presence already did. Besides, Sym slept through most of it—most likely why he was up all night long.
I had stood in for Peyton for a lot of these already. I held Sym and sat in the chair in the gathering hall with Tahk in front of me, standing guard with Uthyf and thirty other warriors. I didn’t need to talk other than to thank the visitors for their blessings and gifts. I figured they thought I was Sym’s mother, but Tahk didn’t seem concerned with correcting them. He would have had to repeat the explanation all day, and that would just take up more time.
I would never admit it, but it was hard to sit there all that time and have so many curious eyes on me, judging me.
After Tahk finally called it quits for the day and told the waiting crowd outside to return tomorrow, he took Sym from me and I followed him out of the hall. Tahk left to go to Peyton, and I split off to find Roxy.
“Where do they all go?” I asked Yilt as he fell into step beside me. “The visitors.”
Yilt looked at me. “They stay in the surrounding cities.”
“All of them?”
I knew they must have traveled very far, only to be turned away
and told to wait in line. I wondered if that made them angry, though I hadn’t noticed any hostility from the visitors. Then again, I doubted they would argue with the king or the Dahk commander. I thought it was pretty amazing that so many were willing to come so far and wait to see the new baby. Sure, some of them may have just been curious or wanted to gawk at the human-dahkling, but a lot of them had looked excited, so awed by Sym.
Yilt nodded. “A few will return home and come back when the crowd dissipates, but most are willing to wait to bless the commander’s son.”
“Cool,” I muttered.
Yilt followed me into the kitchen. Isin was there still, fighting with the returned head cook. Though the lead cook was back living in the castle, Isin hadn’t been willing to give up his position in the kitchen. At first, I thought he would help Peyton with the baby—since he was Tahk’s servant—but the little furry orange alien claimed he was no good with offspring. Now he badgered Mona to use her status to give him back “my kitchen.” She was getting a kick out of watching him fight with the returned head cook.
At the counter, Roxy spotted me and wordlessly handed me a knife. I helped her chop fruit for a while, the task familiar and repetitive.
“No babies tonight?” she asked.
I sighed sadly. “No. Vivian and Vyr went home yesterday, and Tahk has Sym.”
“Are they coming back?” She brought over another basket of fruit.
I sniffed a suspicious-looking goliv berry. “Tomorrow.”
Roxy took it from me, sniffed it, and tossed it into the rotten bin. “Are you going to go with them when they leave for good?”
She kept her eyes averted. Feeling a mix of emotions, mostly guilt, I watched her slice the berries in half.
Vivian had been hinting about me going to stay with her and Vyr after Peyton was ready to go back home, and I didn’t know how to feel about it. On the one hand, I could help with Prin. Sort of like a live-in nanny. Vivian was becoming a respected midwife with the female Dahk in the area, and she didn’t want Prin traveling to so many Dahk Houses every day anymore. Vyr could have decided to be a stay-at-home daddy, but he had concerns about Vivian traveling all the time. He was torn between remaining with Prin and going with Vivian.
Not to mention Vyr had other obligations of his own. Ones he clearly didn’t want. He verbalized it often. But Vivian had somehow talked him into helping Uthyf and Tahk with the kingdom’s security.
That’s where I came in. Prin could stay at home with me, and we would have a house full of guards with us at all times. At least those that Vyr approved. I had a feeling Yilt would be at the top of that list. They had an unlikely friendship. But as long as Prin was nursing, I would need to travel with Vivian.
Roxy shifted impatiently, waiting for my answer. But I didn’t know which one to give her. Not only did I feel bad about saying no to Vivian, but the idea appealed to me. To help Prin grow and learn? To fill my days with joy and light and happy baby giggles? That was kind of amazing.
But it would mean leaving Roxy. She had no desire to go with me. She would have said so by now if she did. I knew she didn’t exactly love working in the kitchen, but she had been helping Mona in her free time. So many things fell on Mona’s shoulders now that she was queen, and Roxy had a thing for organization and lists. She was kind of becoming Mona’s unofficial assistant.
How often would we see each other if I left? I wouldn’t be traveling to the palace with Vivian—that was the whole point of me going—and Roxy hated traveling. Would we ever see each other again? It seemed kind of dramatic to think that, but the odds were low.
“I know you want to,” Roxy said, still not looking at me.
“I do,” I confessed quietly. Both of us put down our knives and stared at the counter.
A few months ago, we were caged in hell. Aliens had kidnapped us from our homes and enslaved us. I hadn’t known Roxanne Hannover before then. I met her the day I woke in a rusty cage on Juldoris. But after that day, she became my whole world. We screamed, cried, and bled together in that cage for weeks. We held each other when we were scared. We offered each other a life raft when we felt as though we were drowning. We confessed our most secret desires.
Roxy was the only living being in the universe who knew how badly I’d wished for death during those days. She was there to stop me the day I found a piece of broken glass lying outside our cage. She held me down and tore the bloodied glass from my hand before I could make what would have been the single biggest mistake of my life.
And she was there the day Vyr, Borv, and Jyn saved us. I didn’t remember it. We had both been so badly injured, we were unconscious. But she was lying beside me when I woke on a new alien planet, surrounded by the Dahk.
She was my best friend. My sister. I loved her so much that the thought of leaving her behind took my breath away.
Her arms wound around me, and I shoved my face into her neck. My arms banded around her.
No words were spoken. We already knew what the other would say.
Letting her go hurt like nothing the Juldo ever did or could have done to me. I walked away, tears pouring down. I knew it wasn’t goodbye. I would see her tomorrow. Maybe the next day. But I would leave eventually, and I had to believe I would see her again. That we would make it work. We could talk every day on the Dahk’s comm units. Vivian didn’t work every day. I would be back. But still, it hurt.
I didn’t go to dinner. Instead, I walked to my room, numb. I didn’t pay even a moment’s attention to my three silent shadows. I climbed in the bed, not touching my braids. They would ache and most likely be a tangled mess when I woke. But I didn’t care. I curled into a ball and sobbed into my pillow until I fell asleep.
9
Lydia
I woke with the worst headache of my life. My eyes were sore and tight. I rubbed the crust from my eyes and rolled over, jumping when a face met me from the other side of the room. Ignyt sat hunched in a chair, his chin on his fist and his eyes on me.
“Morning,” I squeaked, sitting up and pulling the sheet from the end of the bed around me.
Had he stayed in my room all night? The guard on duty typically stayed outside the balcony doors. He had never stayed inside my room. At least, not that I knew of.
I felt my cheeks heating under his stare. He was laser-focused on me. I didn’t know how to handle his unwavering attention. Several minutes of awkward silence passed before I ran to the bathroom.
I sighed and leaned heavily against the counter. The Dahk didn’t have mirrors. They didn’t really primp like humans. They wore fancy dresses and robes, but they didn’t wear makeup or have any hair to wrangle. But the walls were reflective and I used the one above the basin to comb out my tangled braids. My face was distorted, but I could see how my blond hair frizzed into knots all around my head.
I liked doing my hair. Back home, I liked waking up and putting on makeup before dressing for the day. I liked the feeling it gave me. My mother had been a very put-together woman. She never left the house looking anything but her best, and she instilled that in me. I didn’t have access to eyeshadow or blush anymore, but I could do my hair. I didn’t have a blow dryer or a flat iron, but I loved twisting my tiny braids back to clear my face. Unfortunately, I didn’t bathe last night and would need to this morning, so instead of re-braiding my hair, I let it hang as I got into the bathing pool.
I took my time, hoping Ignyt would call Ohta or Hylg to relieve him before I was finished. I had to run the towel over my hair several times to get all the water from it, and it was still damp by the time I left the bathroom.
Ignyt was still in the room when I emerged, and I tried to avoid looking at him as I walked to my dressing room. I felt as though I needed to wear my prettiest dress today to make up for my limp hair and settled on a shimmery golden gown that had thin straps and was tight from my small chest to below my massive bottom.
The Dahk dresses were a little more risqué than I was comfortable with, but the Dahk didn’
t have any other options unless I wore male’s clothes like Roxy did. She thought the baggy clothes got her less attention, but they really did the opposite. The females were horrified by her clothing choice, and the males looked longer, probably searching for the curves she was trying so hard to hide.
Not to mention tunics were worn rarely on Home World and the ones she could find all had slits up the back to accommodate wings. The dresses did as well, but they had ties in the back the females used around the base of their wings. I could tie them before I put the dress on and it looked like pretty lacing down my spine. Roxy had to spend hours and hours sewing the backs of her tunics.
I messed with my wet hair for a few more minutes—unreasonably upset about the front not being braided back but unwilling to take longer with Ignyt waiting on me—before I left the dressing room.
Ignyt stood from his chair and followed me out the door and into the hall. We continued down into the great hall for breakfast—or first meal to the Dahk—where he stood in the buffet line ahead of me, plating my food for me as he had every time he came to a meal with me. I had argued at first, but he always ignored me and I was amazed that he managed to only plate my favorites. That also made me nervous. It indicated he had been watching me. Maybe even before I had met him.
We sat and ate in silence. I tried not to notice how tense he was, but he wasn’t good at hiding it. His lips were pressed together so tightly the pale scar above his lip stood out against his dark amethyst complexion. And his eyes… the dark silver one roamed my face while the white milky one was zeroed in on me. I couldn’t tell if it was focusing or if he was blind in one eye. The scarring around the eye suggested he couldn’t see. But every time I found my gaze drawn to it, I had the strangest feeling he was watching me through it.
My eyes bounced between them. “What happened to your eye?”
My mouth dropped open and I gaped at him in horror. I hadn’t meant to ask him. I wished I could grab the words out of the air and stuff them back into my mouth.
