“Really?”
Shay’s voice made him break away from Kendall. She stood in the archway to the kitchen, Jordan’s pistol in her hand. Was she going to shoot them?
“You’re not a very nice friend,” she said to Kendall, and her voice cracked, broken. Then she turned her betrayed expression on Omar. “Either of you.”
Omar got up from the couch and walked toward her, slowly, as if trying not to frighten a bird into flight. Her eyes widened and she inched back, shaking her head slightly. “Either of you, Omar.”
He reached for Shay’s arm, but she backed out of his reach. “Shay, wait.” He grabbed her wrist that held the gun and pulled the weapon away, still holding on to her wrist. “It’s not what you think.”
“Let go.” She pulled until her hand squeezed through his grip, then jogged toward her bedroom, so he ran past her and blocked the door. She spun away and slipped into the bathroom. He just managed to get his foot in the opening before she shut the door. It struck his shoe.
“Shay, let me explain.”
One of her eyes glared out the opening. “I don’t need an explanation.” Her voice was a hard whisper. “When in the Safe Lands, do as the nationals do, right? Pair up? Trade paint? Find pleasure in life?”
“Please, it’s not like that. I’m different now that — well, I’m trying to be.”
Shay rolled her eyes. “Let me know when you grow up.” She kicked at his foot, to no avail.
“Shay, please listen. I told her to stop, that I couldn’t do it.”
“But you did.” Shay looked at him through the crack, her eyes teary now. “You made your choice. Just … Take Jordan’s gun. I was bringing it to you. He got ammo for it, but Levi won’t let him take it tonight, so he hid it under his bed. I want you to bring back Penny and Nell, okay? I’m going to need someone to help with the babies, and they’re my real friends.” She opened the door and shoved him. He stumbled back a step, and she slammed the door. The lock clicked.
Gun in one hand, Omar used his other to knock on the door and shake the knob. “Shay? Open the door.”
Instead, a door opened behind him. Omar turned to see which one. Jordan stepped into the hall, eyes sleepy. “What’s going on?”
Omar hid the gun behind his back, tucked it into the back of his pants. “Nothing.”
“Who’s in there?” Jordan motioned to the bathroom.
“Shay.”
Jordan pushed in front of Omar. “Go downstairs. I’ll take care of her.”
“Right.” Jordan likely thought Shay was sick again. Omar couldn’t risk being here when Jordan found out the truth. He turned and strode toward the front door. Kendall said something as he passed the living room. He darted back and found her sitting on the couch. She smiled as if nothing was wrong.
“You and me aren’t going to happen, Kendall. Get that straight.” He left the cabin and started walking. That girl had ruined everything. Why was he always so stupid?
He checked the gun and found that it was indeed loaded. Panic shot through him. Shay could have hurt herself. But he’d hurt her first. Why did he keep hurting her?
Maybe Kendall was right. Maybe Omar was all wrong for Shay. He was infected and she wasn’t. He was dying and she was very much alive.
But she was the only person who made him feel like he could ever be good again. He was pretty sure he’d die a lot faster without her in his life.
He was shivering badly by the time he reached Kokanee Lane. He needed a hit now. Maybe Skottie or Charlz would help him. He hadn’t spoken to either in almost a month, but he knew they’d understand the itch. If nothing else, maybe they’d buy him a beer.
CHAPTER
25
Come on, Shay,” Jordan said through the locked door. “Open up.”
“I’m fine,” she said, yawning over her tears. She was so tired. She should have stayed in bed. Then she’d still be dreaming of her nice moments with Omar before he’d ruined everything. Again.
It wasn’t fair. Her parents had been killed. Then the Safe Lands had made her pregnant. And just when it seemed like Omar had noticed her, just when she thought he might actually care about her, Kendall had come along. How could she compete against a beautiful, mature woman like her?
They’d had such a nice talk today. He’d really seemed to care about her. Why was she so blind about boys? And why were boys so dumb?
A wave of queasiness seized her then, and she went to her knees before the toilet. Naomi had promised the morning sickness wouldn’t last. But so far, Shaylinn was still sick no matter what time of day. It seemed a terrible joke. If she’d been married and had a husband who loved her, the sickness would be bearable.
But to be so alone …
When she finally exited the bathroom, she found Jordan sitting on the floor against the wall, sleeping. Oh, sweet, stubborn brother. She nudged him. “Jordan, it’s almost midnight.”
He gasped and coughed. “What’s for breakfast?”
“Why don’t you go downstairs and make sure the other men are awake?”
He rubbed his eyes. “You okay?”
“Just tired.” Though she didn’t think she’d be able to sleep until she knew everyone had been rescued.
Jordan pushed up to his feet. “Love you, sis.” He hugged her and kissed her hair.
The act brought tears to her eyes. “Be careful tonight, okay?”
He pulled back so he could see her face and gave her that wide, crooked grin of his. “Tomorrow you can see Penny and Nell. My gift to you.”
“Thank you. Be safe.”
“Always.”
Once the men — and Kendall — had set off, Shay found Jemma in the room she and Levi had been using. Her sister lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.
“Chipeta is leading prayers in the living room, but I need a break,” Shaylinn said. “Mind if I join you?”
“I’d love it,” Jemma said, throwing back the covers.
Shaylinn climbed into bed with her sister, and they nestled close. Jemma began to braid strands of Shay’s hair. It almost felt like they were together again in their bedroom in their cabin in Glenrock.
“How are you feeling?” Jemma asked.
“Sick.” And brokenhearted.
“I’m sorry, love. Did you and Omar talk? Did you make up?”
Tears flooded her eyes. “He apologized for what he said before.”
“That’s good, right?”
It had been good. A lovely moment. She was thankful for that, even if it hadn’t lasted long. “Later I saw him kissing Kendall.”
“What!” Jemma sat up and looked down on Shay’s face. “Oh, honey. I’m so sorry.”
Her reaction brought Shay’s tears to the surface. She hated crying but hadn’t been able to control it lately. “Maybe it’s just that he’s a lot more experienced than me. I don’t think he wants to be with a girl so … prude?”
“Ugh. If that’s the case, he doesn’t deserve you. But I know Omar. I knew him, anyway. I can’t believe he’d leave you alone.”
“I don’t want him out of his guilt, Jem. I want him to love me.”
Jemma finger-combed out the braid she’d started in Shaylinn’s hair. “Omar should have to earn your love, Shay. If he’s not willing, then he’s not worth it. Don’t risk your heart on a lazy man. He’ll take what he wants from you and not give back. And that’s not love, honey. That’s just not.”
Jemma acted like there were a lot of men to choose from in the world. But there weren’t. “You never doubted Levi’s love for you.”
Jemma’s expression softened into a smile. “No. My heart is, and always will be, his.”
Shaylinn sighed, knowing she’d never have anything like her sister had with Levi. “Why can’t I have that certainty? Why do I have so much doubt?”
“Because you are you and I am me. And because Omar hasn’t exactly been an unchanging rock of a guy. If we all had the same life, there’d be no surprise. I’m angry that Omar hurt you. He’s a stu
pid boy, and if he were here right now I’d tell him so and whack his head. I hope you did.”
“I didn’t.” As if Shaylinn could ever strike anyone like that. “I told him to bring back Penny and Nell because I’d need help raising the babies.”
“Oh, you’re a clever girl. Guilting him.”
Had she? “I didn’t mean to. I’m just tired of feeling so alone.” She really did want Penny and Nell back in her life. She missed them desperately.
“You’re not alone, dearest. You have me.”
Only when Levi and Naomi were busy. “I’m so angry at them both.”
“You have a right to be. Sit up and let me finish braiding your hair.”
Shaylinn pushed herself up and turned her back to Jemma. “But if I’m angry … if I judge him, I’m not loving him.”
Jemma again combed her fingers through Shaylinn’s hair and started a new braid. “How can you love him if he’s loving someone else?”
“But I don’t think he loves Kendall. He’s addicted to doing whatever makes him feel good. And there are too many things that make him feel good in this place.”
“But, Shay, that’s an excuse. Don’t make excuses for him. Men become men by making sacrifices and doing what’s hard. He’s going to have to decide if he wants to grow up or not. And marriage means something to Omar — I know it does. Despite how he’s been acting since we came here, he’s not a Safe Lander. He’s from Glenrock. And his mother raised him to know what’s right.”
“I don’t think he cares about how his mother raised him. Not anymore.” Tamera would have cuffed Omar upside the head ten times by now.
“I don’t believe that,” Jemma said. “The way he paints? As moody as he is? All he’s ever wanted was to find the right girl to spoil with all his romantic ideas.”
Yeah. “But maybe I’m the wrong girl.”
Jemma tugged on Shay’s braid. “That’s not possible.”
But why not? Just because Shay wanted something didn’t mean God would give it to her. He might have another plan in mind. “I so believed that God was going to do something big in my life with these babies. And I thought part of it was to finally bring me and Omar together. But I’m just a dreamer, really. Making things up in my head. I wanted what you and Naomi have with Levi and Jordan. I wanted something real. But I don’t know how to have a real relationship with anyone.” She was only fourteen. But not every person got married. Some stayed single forever.
“There’s nothing to know, Shay. You just do your best. You talk. Become friends. See if your life goals are a match.”
“See? I don’t even know what Omar’s life goals are — or mine, for that matter, apart from loving Omar. And I don’t think Omar knows his goals, either. So, how could we possibly know if they matched?”
“By talking to each other.”
“Every time we talk, someone ruins it. Me, or Omar, or someone else. Now Kendall. I thought she was my friend. I told her I loved Omar. Why would she do this?”
“If she gets Elyot back tonight, she’ll be raising him alone. Maybe she wants something real too. But I’m sorry that she felt like her own happiness was more important than her friendship with you.”
“I miss Penny and Nell. But even if they were here, they wouldn’t know what to say to any of this. These are grown-up problems, and I’m not a grown-up.”
“There are no grown-ups, really,” Jemma said. “Just old kids who still feel young inside despite the fact that their face no longer looks it.”
Shaylinn smiled at Jemma’s words. “Is that from a book or a movie?”
“Papa Eli.” Jemma tucked the end of the braid into the neckline of Shaylinn’s tank top.
“I miss him. He was such a sweet man.” Shaylinn fell back on the bed. “Everything was so much easier when I believed I was ugly and Omar would never, ever want me.”
Jemma brushed a loose wisp of hair off Shay’s forehead and looked down on her face. “Longing is good for a season. And while living in that wanting place might feel safe, it’s hiding from real life. Live your life, Shay. And seek out — ”
A knock on the door made both girls sit up. Chipeta came in. “Come quick — Naomi’s in labor.”
CHAPTER
26
The sound of nine pairs of feet sloshing through ankle-deep water set Levi’s nerves on edge. He wished they’d all take more care and walk on the sides of the pipe — at least try not to announce their presence to enforcers who might be on patrol.
But despite what Levi wanted, he wasn’t fully in charge of this mission. Getting Ruston and Zane’s help tonight meant he had to trust them, like it or not.
He and Ruston had done a run-through that morning, so Levi, at least, knew what to expect. They’d already removed the storm drain cover in the alley and covered it with a maintenance sign, so there’d be little delay getting above ground. The bridge board was waiting there too, behind a dumpster. Levi was most concerned with Yivan, who’d tripped three times since they’d started out. He wished they’d left the fifteen-year-old klutz behind.
Soon they were climbing to the surface. Levi waited with Ruston until all nine of the men had climbed up. Jordan retrieved the bridge board and tucked it under one arm. They all had stunners on gun belts Ruston had provided. Even Mason had taken one. But they were SimScanners, not regular stunners. SimScanners read a target’s SimTag, then stunned them, without the shock wires even coming out. And the best part was that the guards’ SimScanners wouldn’t work on the rebels since they had removed their SimTags. Levi greatly appreciated their odds.
The alley stretched between an auto repair shop and the back of the Nordic apartment building. Treasury Road wasn’t much wider than the alley. There were no streetlamps. The west side of the road butted up against a fence that was the back of the ColorCast lot, where they filmed much of what appeared on TV. The east side of the road was the back end of the auto repair shop. From where the road dead-ended at the Midlands wall, it stretched about 100 yards to where it met Eammons, which edged the north side of the Rehabilitation Center.
Levi didn’t like being so close to the RC. He removed his SimScanner from his belt and held it by his side.
“Okay,” Ruston said, stopping behind the Nordic, where the smell of clean laundry blew strong. “Farran, Nash, Levi, Mason, and Jordan — with me. The rest of you, wait here. We shouldn’t be long.”
Ruston led Levi and the others down the road, which had no sidewalk until they reached Eammons. They circled the building and stopped outside the front entrance.
“We’re at the Nordic,” Ruston said. “You ready, Zane?”
Zane’s answer came as a soft gurgle from Ruston’s SimTalk implant. “Ready. I own the cameras.”
Ruston pushed through the front entrance and walked toward the elevators. Levi followed, nerves on high alert, scanning the tiny lobby for the doorman.
No sign.
Ruston reached the elevator and turned. “No doorman, Zane.”
“He was there a minute ago,” came Zane’s muffled reply.
“Should we go?” Mason asked.
Levi was just as anxious to get out of sight. “Not if we don’t want to happen upon him on the way back down.”
Ruston took a deep breath and panned his gaze across the lobby. “He can’t have gone far, and we need to take him out.”
“Maybe he went up to one of the residents’ apartments to deliver something,” Mason said.
Levi started to walk the perimeter of the lobby. It was small, about the size of a living room, with glass windows facing the street. In the far corner opposite the elevator, Levi passed a door to the stairwell. Three more steps, and he came to another door. This one said “Restroom.” A stripe of yellow light lit a crack at the bottom of the door.
Levi snapped his fingers three times. The men’s gazes locked on his, and he pointed to the bathroom door.
Ruston and Farran came running, clutching their SimScanners. A quick look and Ruston said, “Fa
rran, come with me. Levi, stand watch.”
Ruston pulled open the bathroom door and entered, Farran on his heels. Mason joined Levi next, then Jordan, who set down the board and made to follow the men into the bathroom, but Levi stopped him.
“They got it, Jordan.”
A loud bang preceded a man’s shout. “What are you doing? Get out of here!”
Jordan chuckled, delighted with the situation. “They got the maggot on the pot.”
Levi rolled his eyes at his friend’s boorish sense of humor.
A minute later, the bathroom door opened, and Farran stuck out his head. “Nash. We need you.”
Nash walked past Levi and Jordan and went inside.
“I’m stronger than that weed,” Jordan said.
Jordan was simply anxious to be put to good use. “You’ll get your chance to be a hero,” Levi said. “For now, we trust Ruston.” No matter how hard that might be.
Another minute passed, and the three men exited, Nash wearing an extremely tight doorman’s shirt.
“Go fetch the others,” Ruston told Farran, who headed for the exit.
“What’s this?” Jordan asked Nash.
“My dim brother neglected to warn us that the doorman was a child,” Nash said.
“Shortest man I’ve ever seen,” Ruston said. “Skinny too. No way Farran could fit into his uniform.”
“I couldn’t get his pants past my knees,” Nash said.
Jordan busted up laughing.
Farran returned with Beshup and the three Jack’s Peak teens. Ruston, who was wearing gloves, pressed the Up button on the elevator, and the door slid open immediately.
Inside, Ruston hit the button for five and the elevator sailed up. From the fifth floor, Zane worked his grid magic and unlocked the door to the stairs that led to the roof.
A cool breeze hit Levi when he stepped out onto the roof. It didn’t take long to locate Penelope’s plank. It was no more than twelve inches wide and stretched four feet across the narrow space between the Nordic and the school. Five stories down there was nothing more than a dead-end alley with a dumpster. Anyone who fell would hit the ground hard.
Outcasts Page 29
