by Ayse Hafiza
“It was fine. Although Miss Sands, Saima teacher, doesn’t want her to watch television late at night.”
Their mom seemed to pause on the spot as if assessing his reaction to the statement.
“Why?”
“Don’t know,” said Laila with a shrug.
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Kawser quickly attempted to gloss over the comment.
“How was Dad’s doctor appointment?” asked Laila. That was the question all the children had wanted her to ask.
“Your Dad. . .” Kawser began to speak as he entered the room glancing at him she was about to continuing as if he wasn’t there.
“I’m fine kids. Just a bit tired,” he spoke up, talking over their mom and answering for himself. “I didn’t need to go, it would be a waste of the Doctors time. I just need to rest and have a bit more sleep.”
Laila nodded.
Then he turned and walked out of the room, by the sound of his footfall they could tell he was headed upstairs and that meant he was going to bed for a nap. They would need to be quiet for a while and keep noise to a minimum.
When the door was closed, Laila looked over at her mom.
“Is that all it is? Daddy’s just a bit tired?” she asked.
Their mom nodded but threw a guilty glanced at Waleed. The adults were definitely hiding something, and the children could tell, they knew for sure something was going on.
After their snack, which had been eaten in silence, they went out into the garden to play. They could see their mom and uncle speaking in hushed tones to each other.
The family was full of secrets, and Saima didn’t like it one bit. As she stood in the garden with her wooden dog, she looked at the garage window and without going closer, she knew the old man wasn’t there. She couldn’t feel him, he had left and so had Lizzy. Only Buster the dog was still there, under the rose bush, but that old dog didn’t bother her, he seemed friendly enough and stayed in his place. Where had the ghosts gone?
She knew she should be grateful they had decided to move on, but she didn’t like the ugly nature of the divisions that had grown between her parents. Saima looked up at their bedroom window, the place the old woman would stand, but she was gone, definitely gone. So where was the relief, why wasn’t she feeling it? Instead, in place of it was a sense of foreboding, like something horrible was going to happen. She could feel it brewing in her bones.
Being a child, Saima didn’t know how to explain the sense of fear that was bubbling in her stomach. Things just didn’t feel right, and her instincts and sixth sense were warning her to be careful and that she should be scared, but that wasn’t easy for her to understand. The ghosts had gone, and her parents weren’t well.
Kawser watched them from the window, Laila with her rope, Idris with his ball, and Saima with her wooden dog. They all belonged with her, they were her family.
“You know if he isn’t well, and keeps missing work, the house might get taken away from you,” Waleed’s voice came from behind her. “I was trying to talk to him about going to see the doctor and maybe getting a sick-note, so he could give it to his boss. That way at least he could justify his absence with illness. But if he carries on like this, they might fire him for being unreliable.” He rubbed his eyes, it was clear to anyone watching that it had been tiring for him dealing with his brother.
Kawser turned from the view out the window and faced him.
“Don’t speak like that Waleed. Rashid will be just fine, and no one, not a single person is going to put us out of this house!” she declared.
Waleed looked at her.
“How can you be so sure, it happens all the time. When mortgage payments are missed, houses get repossessed. Okay here in England you have a welfare system, so maybe it doesn’t matter but, that doesn’t mean you can be reckless.”
“Who’s being reckless?” Kawser snapped in an angry tone.
“No need to be aggressive Kawser. I don’t understand what is wrong with Rashid. He says he is ill, but he isn’t showing any signs of physical illness. Instead, he just sleeps a lot, and for that reason he needs to go to the doctor.”
“He doesn’t need the doctor, he needs to be home and with his family,” she was tired of the conversation so turned back and took to cleaning the dishes.
“Are you part of our family Waleed?” her tone was accusatory. She turned and looked at him.
“Of course I am,” he reassured her. “Why would you even ask a question like that?”
“Well, in that case, you need to trust in my husband. He knows what he is doing.”
“Kawser he is saying that he is ill it’s not normal, he should go and see a doctor.”
“He doesn’t want to, but thank you for your advice,” turning her back on him she dried her hands and walked out of the room.
Waleed rubbed his eyes, what the hell was going on with his brother and his wife. They weren’t acting normal or even logically.
He was being made to feel like an outsider. Sure he wasn’t part of Rashid and Kawser’s marriage, but he was still an uncle to the children playing in the yard. He was still part of the family, and he was going to get to the bottom of what was happening in this house because he wasn’t prepared to accept this was normal.
20
The Crime
The day had passed, and it was now bedtime, the children had come in to give the adults a kiss to say good night. As Rashid had given up reading to them, Waleed decided to step in and take over until his brother was back to normal. The children had crammed into the double bed, all three of them looking like sardines under the pink bedspread. Kawser had taken to sleeping in the bed belonging to Idris. He considered it better for the kids to have their mom nearby, especially when things were as weird as they were.
Pulling across the rocking chair, he settled to read the children a bedtime story.
“What one should I read you?” he asked with a soft smile on his lips.
Even while sat with his nieces and nephew he couldn’t help but wonder why Rashid believed everything was normal. None of this was normal.
“The princess and the pea?” asked Laila first.
She loved that story, Waleed thought about the plot of the story and the meaning behind it of a girl who never knew she was a princess and how she became one after tests and trials. Maybe Laila’s love for that story was an indication that she wanted to escape from her life in the house.
If that was the case, he fully desired the same. Waleed wanted to walk away and leave, he knew that Rashid was behaving weirdly. Uncaring, irresponsible and disrespectful. The way Kawser had spoken to him had jarred him too. How strange had it been for her to ask him if he was part of the family? That had never been a question before. Waleed had felt like an outsider. The only place he felt comfortable was with the kids.
He tried to put it out of his mind as he began the story.
“Uncle Waleed?” said Idris interrupting his thoughts.
“Yes?”
“What’s wrong with Daddy?” asked Idris.
Waleed could feel his heart fracture; the boy had asked the question which meant it was on all of their minds. He closed the book and leaned across the bed, ruffling Idris' hair. The young boy was worried about his father, of course he would be, all the children were. He could see they were all wanting him as the adult to tell them the truth. Couldn’t Rashid and Kawser see how worried their children were? Why did it feel like all of a sudden they didn’t seem to care? He tried his best to comfort the boy.
“Idris, your Daddy is fine.” That wasn’t a lie, it wasn’t until a doctor could diagnose why he was intent on sleeping so much or had changed his habits and behavior would Waleed accept he was actually sick. “Everything is going to be fine.”
“Do you promise?” asked Idris. All their little eyes were on him.
“Yes, I promise,” said Waleed knowing that he should not promise something he could not guarantee, but the children needed reassurance.
Some
how Waleed was going to need to get through to Rashid and Kawser, he was going to get them to see how odd their behavior was and force them to get help. When he finished the story he quietly closed the book. Setting it aside he looked at the faces of the now sleeping children and before leaving he gave each a gentle kiss on the forehead.
He could see his words had given them comfort, that was what they needed. He stood up and switched off the light before stepping into the hallway. Pausing briefly at the top of the stairs to see if he could hear if Kawser and Rashid were talking. Both of them had been changing, Kawser had been aggressive with him earlier which was not normally her nature, and that was unmistakable. She had never spoken to him like that and both Rashid and Kawser were acting coldly toward him and that was very odd.
He took purposefully heavy steps descending the stairs giving a warning of sorts that he was returning. Entering the room, he noticed how Rashid and Kawser weren’t even looking at each other. Rashid was watching the news and Kawser reading the paper in the corner.
“I read the children a story.” He wasn’t going to let it go, he wasn’t going to ignore their odd behavior. He might as well have been speaking to the walls of the house. “They are worried about you Rashid.”
He waited for a response.
Rashid said nothing.
“Rashid, they want you to go to the doctor, I want you to go to the doctor,” Waleed’s tone was pleading.
Kawser lowered the newspaper, but she said nothing.
“We’re worried about you,” said Waleed.
“Don’t be. I’m fine. I’m stronger than I have ever been, and I am seeing clearly now,” said Rashid as he stood up.
“So, you’ll be going to work tomorrow?” asked Waleed.
“No, the insurance company I worked for don’t appreciate me,” said Rashid.
“Meaning?”
“That I’m never going back,” Rashid answered.
“So how are you going to keep a roof over your family’s head?”
“I have other plans,” he announced. Then he turned and walked toward the door.
“What are these plans?” asked Waleed exasperated the conversation hadn’t gone how he wanted.”
“You’ll find out if you decide you are part of this family and plan to stick around,” said Rashid.
And with those words left hanging in the air, he left the room.
Waleed sat on the sofa and held his head in his hands, everything felt so wrong. What was going on with this family?
“I told you, don’t question my husband,” hissed Kawser from the corner of the room.
Rashid felt the iciness from her, the venom in her words. He turned to look at the woman who was speaking because it didn’t feel like the Kawser he knew.
She had the hint of a black mist around her, he blinked his eyes in confusion, had he really seen that? Maybe he was just feeling tired. Or maybe whatever mystery sickness Rashid had was starting to effect Waleed too. He followed Rashid out of the room. They weren’t acting normal. Waleed walked upstairs and paused outside the children’s bedroom. He needed to stay, he needed to make sure that they were going to be okay. He promised Idris that it would, but right now that was just words, he had nothing to back it up.
He turned and went to the box room where he had been sleeping each night. Sitting on his bed, he looked at his clothes which were neatly folded and sat in his suitcase. He had dropped everything to be here, his own life was on hold, but although Rashid didn’t appear to be sick, he still wasn’t acting like his brother. He had been in a stupor, it was the state he was in when Waleed had arrived, and as much as he had argued with him and tried to make him see sense, nothing had worked.
Normally Rashid had a big heart and welcomed everyone into his family. This argumentative and bad-mannered man was completely unlike his brother. Even Kawser was normally a sweet and generous woman, she had hissed at him tonight, questioned his place in the family.
Waleed didn’t like it one bit. Again, he glanced at the clothes in the suitcase, they would deserve it if he just packed his things and left, but how could he do that to the children? He would never forgive himself if he walked out on them in their hour of need. Even if they weren’t going to recognize this was exactly what was happening. Waleed shook his head, he had no option he needed to stay.
Washing in the bathroom, he changed his clothes and returned to the room to go to bed. It was a restless night. Waleed found himself having a vivid dream, one where he could see everything. As he slept, a truth had crept into his dream. It was a truth that scared him.
When he woke and saw the faces of Kawser and Rashid, both of them looking at him from just inches away. He would have screamed if Kawser hadn’t held the pillow over his face as Rashid held his arms and legs down.
He struggled against them, but it didn’t matter, and after just a few minutes he found that his vivid dream had come true.
He was never going to leave the house.
“You are a part of the family Waleed, and that is exactly why you are going to stay,” said Kawser moving the pillow away from his face.
They carried his body down into the garage. Rashid would be busy tomorrow, not at work but in the garage disposing of his brother dead body.
When the children woke the next morning, the day began as it normally would. They dressed and had breakfast before their mom took them to school. She waved them off as she stood at the gates and the children went inside to their classes, totally unaware of what their parents had done while they slept.
When school was over she was there to collect them, and they walked home from school as they normally would, Saima and Idris ran ahead, while Laila walked beside her.
If Gail had been born, she would have been just like her. Although she wouldn’t be an immigrant child, that didn’t matter. It was what was on the inside that mattered, and Kawser knew that Gail would have had the same characteristics as Laila, same sort of smile. She liked having a daughter who was her companion, she hadn’t understood that before when she was Lizzy. Lizzy had thought that having a daughter would have passed on the family curse and she had been scared, so much so she sacrificed her own child. That wasn’t anything unusual, people sacrificed their children all the time. Wasn’t that what the story of Abraham taught?
Walking along the uneven concrete slabs Kawser was happy, she was finally making progress, and now that Waleed was out of the way, things would move a lot faster. Inside the house Rashid had moved the armchair to sit facing the television. That room would be his.
The children came downstairs for their after-school snack. Kawser had put out a bit of fruit on the table.
“Where’s Uncle Waleed?” asked Idris, looking around the room.
Kawser and Rashid froze.
“He needed to go back to America,” their father said as he glanced out the window to the garage.
Saima followed his eyes, dad was lying, and it shocked her when she realized. Dad’s weren’t meant to lie, and adults weren’t meant to hit children. She tried to settle her gaze on the garage, but she couldn’t see clearly.
“Did you go to work today?” asked Idris, there was a hint of fear in his voice. All the children sensed there was something not quite right.
“No son, but I’ll go tomorrow.”
Rashid said nothing more and the children slumped in their chairs as they ate their fruit, glancing at their parents as they moved around each other.
“Children, as your teachers don’t like you watching television, there will be none from now on.”
“What? Why?” protested Laila.
“It’s your father’s television, besides Miss Sands doesn’t like it affecting your imaginations.”
“But. . .but. . .but,” stuttered Laila. “That’s not fair!”
Without warning, Kawser turned and slapped her across the face. Laila stood so quickly the seat she had been sitting on fell backward, and a moment later Laila was upstairs sobbing on her bed.
Downstairs Kawser stood with a grin on her face, she had watched her daughter run out of the room, and she appeared to enjoy the anguish she had caused.
It was a smile Saima had seen before.
She had been guessing at it, wondering if she was right to think the way she had been. But now she was sure and there could be no doubt. The whisks of negative energy around her mom’s head were visible to her as she turned her head. That smile was unforgettable, it was the same fixed smile that Saima had seen before on her old friend Lizzy. Saima’s mouth dropped open as she realized exactly what was going on with her family.
They weren’t her family.
Her eyes traveled between her dad and mom as the realization that she was right truly sunk in. Lizzy and George had disappeared, but that didn’t mean that they were gone, they had taken over her parents, Kawser and Rashid.
Saima sat bolt straight, she didn’t want to get on the wrong side of Lizzy, she knew how that would work out. Slowly, when the coast was clear, she headed upstairs to console her sister.
21
Home Again
When getting to the top of the stairs, Saima paused on the landing listening to the noises below. The boiler sounded as water gushed in the kitchen, and she knew that her ‘Mom’ was washing plates by hand. The sound of the television masked the sounds of the man in the sitting room.
She held onto the banister and closed her eyes, deep down she knew she wasn’t wrong about this. Somehow Lizzy and Frank had managed to get into her parents. But that didn’t make sense at all, how could it happen?
Lizzy had hated George, so why would she be here again trying to get along with him? And what had happened to their parents? Her young mind wandered to the night they were in Manzar uncle’s house when her mom had been attacked by Lizzy. She had been convinced it was just a dream and that it couldn’t be significant.
The door to the children’s bedroom swung closed behind Idris, Saima knew she should be in with him consoling her sister and apologizing for never being allowed to watch television again. But before she could do that she had a job to do. Instead of going into her room she turned left, her focus was on the white door of the box room. Tentatively she took steps toward it and slowly pushed open the door. The bed was there, but all of her uncle’s things were gone. Holding back tears she stepped further into the room. He wasn’t meant to leave, he had promised them that their parents would be okay. If she had known he had the ability to protect them, Saima would not have made a bargain with Lizzy offering him to her while she was sick. She shuddered, she didn’t want to think back to that moment when in her delirious state she heard the words her uncle had spoken about making a bargain for her own safety.
