by Derek Landy
“Aw, I’m sorry, baby – please don’t cry.”
The boy with the birthmark smiled tightly, and got down off his perch, dusted off his jeans like he was getting ready to leave. Then he flew at his friends, shoving Marco backwards off the railing while he grabbed Jamie and dragged him to the ground.
“What’s that?” he snarled. “What’s that you’re saying?”
He jammed his knee on to Jamie’s throat and picked up a rock, held it over his head, ready to smash it down. “What’s that you were saying about crying? Huh?”
“Jesus!”
“Speak up now.”
“Let go of me, you psycho …”
The kid with the birthmark put a little more weight on his knee, then stood, allowing his victim to roll over and cough.
He threw down the stone. “You dickheads really think I give a shit about Hell Night? You really think I care that I have to wait another year? It’s a town party. Big frikkin’ deal.”
Marco helped Jamie to his feet.
“Go on,” said the boy with the birthmark. “Run off to play with Cunningham and his pals. Enjoy Hell Night while you can, assholes. Next year, it belongs to me.”
Jamie and Marco hesitated, then turned, started walking away. The kid with the birthmark watched them, then let out a derisive laugh and set off in the opposite direction. Amber and Milo ducked down until they were all gone, then straightened up.
“Lovely kids in this town,” Milo said.
Amber led the way through the carnival until they came to the Hall of Mirrors. She stared at the door, the very memorable door with its shiny silver surface. When she was satisfied, she nodded.
“You sure about this?” Milo asked.
“Now is not the time for doubt,” she answered.
He shrugged.
Planting Jesper’s double doors firmly in her head, Amber took the brass key from her pocket and slid it into the lock. The dull metal door did its best to squirm into her thoughts, but she kept it out, and turned the key once, then twice, and with Milo’s hand on her shoulder she opened the mirrored door and stepped through.
The mayor’s drawing room. Colder than when they’d been there last. The lights were on, dimming the sky outside. The doors had shut behind them. Milo went to open them, but stopped. Footsteps and voices approached.
“Here they are,” they heard Jesper say. He sounded tired. “The troublemakers. When did they arrive?”
“Early this morning.” Novak. “Caught the big guy over on Broken Branch Road. The other one my officers nabbed as he was walking along Main Street without a care in the world.”
Milo opened the door a crack, and they peered through. Two men, one tall, the other tall and hulking, were on their knees with their hands cuffed behind them. The bigger guy was deformed – his head a misshapen lump, while the other was masked. Both were silent.
Chief Novak was standing at their backs while Jesper stood in front, gazing down at them.
“How many of you will we have to execute before the Shining Demon stops sending you into our quiet little town? Eh?” He looked up at Novak. “What’s the matter with them? Can’t they talk?”
“Neither of them do much more than grunt,” said Novak.
Jesper sighed. “The silent types, huh? We’ve seen plenty of their kind over the years.”
“Yes, we have,” said Novak. “But I wouldn’t get too close, sir. They heal fast.”
“Well, of course they do,” said Jesper. “They wouldn’t be any use to Astaroth otherwise. Weapons of choice?”
“Machete,” said Novak, then nodded to the smaller guy. “Butcher knife.”
“Always popular,” said Jesper. “Gentlemen, we have a zero-tolerance policy here in Desolation Hill for serial killers of both the living and undead variety. But you knew that. Everyone knows that your kind is just not welcome here. Chief Novak, please tell our guests what lies in store for them.”
“I’m going to shoot you both in the head,” Novak said, hunkering down between them so he could talk right into their ears. “Again. Then, while your brains are busy unscrambling, we’re going to cut up your bodies into little tiny pieces, and bury each part in concrete. We may not be able to kill you – not really – but we can certainly ensure that you never pose a threat to our town – or any other town – ever again.”
Novak stood up and Jesper gave the nod, and Novak shot the bigger guy in the temple. Despite herself, Amber flinched at the gunshot.
As the killer slumped sideways, the other one tried to get up, but Novak shot him in the back of the skull before he’d straightened his legs. He fell face down, dark blood leaking from the smoking hole in his mask.
“I’ll get this cleaned up,” said Novak.
“See that you do,” Jesper responded. “What about the boy?”
Novak hesitated. “Still on the run.”
Jesper didn’t say anything.
“Mr Mayor,” said Novak, “I accept full responsibility for the mistakes that have been made over the last few days. My officers were just carrying out my orders.”
“How hard is it to hand over two people in handcuffs?”
“I’m sorry, sir. If there’s anything I can do to make up for my errors of judgement—”
“Errors of judgement?” Jesper echoed. “This goes a little beyond errors of judgement, Chief Novak. I gave you an order.”
“Yes, sir.”
“That you disobeyed.”
“I … well, sir, I wouldn’t say I—”
“Did you hand them over to the Hounds or did you let them run?”
“I let them run, sir.”
“Then you disobeyed my orders.”
“Yes, Mr Mayor.”
“And you failed to ensure that those kids in the van left town. What is happening to you, Chief? You never used to make mistakes like this.”
“Sir, if there is anything I can do …”
“There is, actually,” said Jesper. “We need a substitute sacrifice in the next few hours.”
“Sir?”
“Go out and get one.”
Novak paled.
“You have a problem with that, Chief?”
“I … sir, what you’re asking me to do is …”
“Is what it takes,” finished Jesper. “You’re willing to do what it takes, aren’t you?”
Novak was quiet for a moment. “Yes, Mr Mayor.”
Jesper let the seconds drag by, then he turned and walked out of Amber’s line of sight. “Never mind. The Narrow Man has assured me that he will take care of it.” Novak’s shoulders slumped with relief. “Get this cleaned up and then get back on the streets. Hell Night starts on schedule.”
“Yes, Mr Mayor. Thank you.”
Jesper walked away, and Novak took hold of the masked killer’s ankles and started dragging him backwards.
Milo closed the door, and Amber checked her phone. “No word from Javier,” she whispered. “Whoever the Narrow Man is planning to take to replace Austin, he hasn’t made his move yet.”
“Or he has,” Milo whispered back, “but he’s killed Javier and Virgil before they could tell us.”
Amber glared. “Jesus Christ … Why would you say something like that?”
“Because I’m a bad man,” said Milo.
They went to one of the windows and waited for Novak to leave. They watched until they could no longer see the cruiser’s tail lights, and then they left the drawing room, moving quietly. Milo held his gun in both hands.
They found Jesper in his office, a large room of floor-to-ceiling bookcases and big windows. His desk was wide and sturdy and looked old, and Amber figured that it had probably been owned by some president or other, once upon a time. That was the kind of thing Jesper would appreciate.
He stood up as they approached, his hands empty save for the pen he’d been holding when they walked in. No weapons.
“I thought I’d be seeing you two again,” he said, worryingly calm. “No common sense, that’s y
our problem.”
“Lot of books,” said Amber. “Read ’em all?”
“Every one of them,” Jesper replied proudly. “You’d be surprised what you can get through if you have a few hundred years of reading time.”
Amber traced her claws along the spines of some leather-bound editions, leaving deep scratches. “Anything by Annalith Symmes?”
“I’m afraid I’ve not had the pleasure.”
“She writes the In The Dark Places series? It’s very good. They made it into a TV show.”
Jesper smiled. “Perhaps I’ll give it a try.”
“You do that. Probably better than most of the stuff you’ve got here. Do you have The Bell Jar? I had to read it for school. Dark Places is better. Less depressing. You’re very calm, by the way, for someone who’s about to be taken against his will.”
“Me?” said Jesper. “Oh no, you’re mistaken. I’m not going anywhere. You think now that the police are gone I am unguarded? Chief Novak and his officers are this town’s line of defence – not mine.”
“Talk while you walk,” Milo said, motioning with his gun.
“I’m not going with you,” Jesper replied. “Whatever you have in store for me, I have no interest in seeing. You really should have kept running, you know. Coming back here was a mistake.”
The door on the other side of the room opened and the burned man walked in without urgency, carrying a silver case. Beneath his mask, his scarred face betrayed no alarm.
“You’re going to want to stop walking,” said Milo, “or I shoot your boss.”
The burned man kept walking.
“Wesley has been in my employ for over thirty years,” said Jesper. “I offered him refuge when nobody else would. I forgave him his sins and provided him with a home, a job … a purpose.”
“Yeah?” said Milo, turning his gun on the burned man. “How about a casket?”
The burned man stopped.
“Wesley has been a loyal associate ever since,” Jesper continued. “But, every so often, he is afforded the chance to return to his old ways, and he takes these opportunities with some relish, let me tell you. Perhaps you’ve heard of him? Wesley Sterling?”
“My memory ain’t what it used to be,” said Milo.
“No matter,” Jesper said. “You’ve probably heard of his other name, the name he’s known by in certain – darker – circles. Wesley Sterling, the Nightmare Man.”
RONNIE DROVE, AND LINDA sat up beside him. Austin was seated behind them and he was telling them about the town and what a messed-up town it was. Kelly sat on the cushions and scratched Two’s belly. She raised her eyes, saw Warrick looking at her.
He crawled over to sit beside her. “You okay, Kel?” he asked in a quiet voice.
She smiled. “I’m fine.”
“Amber’s a nice chick.”
Kelly nodded. “I guess she is.”
“She’s really hot when she’s a demon.”
Kelly gave a non-committal shrug.
“Of course, it could be argued that she’s hot, anyway, you know, because of who she is as a person.” Warrick nodded. “It’s what’s inside that counts, really. That’s what I’ve always said.”
“When have you ever said that?”
“I say it all the time, but you’re never around when I do,” said Warrick.
“No? Where am I?”
“I think you’re on the toilet.”
“Every time?”
“Every single time I’ve said it.”
“Well, ain’t that something?”
“You know,” said Warrick, “you can talk to me about all this stuff if you want. And it doesn’t just have to be the fun stuff. Like the lesbian stuff. It can be about feelings, as well.”
“The feelings are lesbian, too, Warrick.”
“My point is, if you like someone and she doesn’t like you … well, first of all, she’s an idiot, because you’re awesome. But, second of all, maybe she needs to figure out some stuff of her own first before she can let herself realise how amazing you are.”
Kelly let her head rest on Warrick’s shoulder. “You’re a good guy, you know that?”
“I’m just super-sensitive about lesbian issues,” he said, and she laughed.
“We’re here,” said Ronnie as they pulled over. Kelly knelt and peered out at a row of houses surrounded by trees. She zeroed in on the house with the purple truck out front, where a middle-aged man was boarding up the windows.
“Austin, you stay here with Warrick and Two,” said Ronnie. “We’re not going to be long.”
Austin nodded, and Kelly opened the side door and got out. Ronnie and Linda joined her, and they walked up to the man hammering nails.
“Hi there,” said Ronnie.
The man turned, frowned at them. “Who are you?”
“We’re friends of, uh, of your son,” said Linda. “He in?”
The man kept frowning. “You really shouldn’t be here. Today’s the day of the festival. You … you can’t be here. We have a curfew in place.”
“We’re actually just leaving,” Kelly said, smiling broadly. “We’re all packed up and ready to go, and we figured we’d stop by to see your son on our way out. We’re not gonna be long, I swear. Two minutes.”
“If he isn’t here, we can wait,” Ronnie said happily.
“No, no, he’s here,” said the man. “Go on there and knock. My wife’ll take you to him.”
“Thank you,” said Linda, and she led the way to the front door and rapped her knuckles against it. A few moments later, a woman answered, her eyes widening in alarm when she saw them.
“They’re here to see Kevin,” the man called. “Let them in. They’ll be two minutes, they said.”
“You really can’t be here,” the woman said.
“That’s what I told them. They’re on their way out of town.”
“But … but the curfew—”
“Let them talk to the boy!” her husband shouted.
“Fine, okay,” the woman said, flustered. “In, in, in you come.” She stepped back and they walked into a house that smelled of freshly baked cookies. “Third door on the left, there. Better hurry.”
She hurried off, and Ronnie turned the handle of Party-Monster’s door and pushed it open. “Hi, Kevin,” he said.
The Party-Monster, wearing only a pair of boxers, leaped out of bed, dropping a video-game controller on to a floor that was littered with dirty clothes and food-encrusted plates.
Kelly was the last one into his room, and as she closed the door she put one hand over her nose and mouth. “Oh my God, it stinks in here.”
“Jesus,” said Ronnie.
“Is there a dead raccoon under the bed?” Linda asked, appalled. “I want to breathe through my mouth, but I don’t want to swallow the smell.”
“This is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever experienced,” Kelly said. “And I was once thrown into a tub of bile.”
“You hear that, Kevin?” said Ronnie. “Your room is worse than a tub of bile.”
The Party-Monster just stared at them. He had a relatively hairless chest, with only a few curious wisps around his strangely large nipples. “What are you doing here?”
“We won’t be long,” Ronnie said. “We’re after the code to the bunker. The nuclear bunker? We were told you know it.” He looked around. “Have you ever cleaned this room?”
“Who let you in?” asked the Party-Monster.
“Your mom,” said Linda. “You still live with your mom, by the way? There’s nothing wrong with still living with your folks, of course there’s not, but you still live with them like this? You’re not a teenager anymore, Kevin.”
“Party-Monster,” said the Party-Monster somewhat feebly.
“You’re a grown-up,” Linda continued. “Do you have a job? Or is Party-Monstering a full-time occupation?”
The Party-Monster didn’t answer.
“So you don’t have a job, then. You live with your folks, you don’t cle
an your room, you probably never even open a window in here, and you don’t pay your own way.”
Kelly shook her head sadly. “Oh, Party-Monster …”
“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” said the Party-Monster. “I don’t have to explain myself to anyone. I do what I do. I am who I am. I party.”
“Playing video games in your underwear is not partying.”
“You just wait,” the Party-Monster sneered. “You hang around a few hours, and then you’ll see exactly what kind of Party-Monster I can—”
“We know that you change into a demon,” Ronnie said.
The Party-Monster’s sneer dropped. “Oh.”
“We know it all. We don’t care. The only reason we’re here is to get the code to the bunker. You know it, don’t you?”
“Why should I tell you?”
“Because if you don’t I’ll beat you up again,” said Linda.
The Party-Monster puffed out his chest, which only served to accentuate how big his nipples were. “You caught me by surprise in the bar. Try that again and see what happens.”
“I would step towards you right now, but I’m terrified of what I might step on,” said Linda. “Have you ever washed these clothes?”
“You can wash ’em if you want,” the Party-Monster said. He was getting braver. “You can start with these shorts I’m wearing. Come over here and get ’em. You or the redhead, I don’t mind.”
“I’m not really into naked men,” said Kelly, “but if I were I’d probably still not be into you.”
The Party-Monster laughed. “What are you, a lesbian?”
“Yes.”
His eyes widened. “Really?”
He was definitely getting braver. This would not do. Kelly reached for the wires connecting his TV to his games console.
“Hey,” he said, “don’t touch that.”
“Tell us what the code is or I’ll pull out all of these wires and you’ll lose your progress. I bet you didn’t have a chance to press save when we walked in, did you?”
The Party-Monster licked his lips nervously. “You can’t … you can’t threaten me like that. That’s not even a threat. I’ll just replay the section.”
“What Kelly is doing,” Ronnie explained, “is firing the first salvo. This is our opening threat. Will it work? Probably not.”
