“Yes. But I swore never to contact him, to never reveal I was his birth mother or who his father was.”
“He’s an adult now. And Mike needs him. Doesn’t he have the right to know the truth? Don’t they both have rights?”
“They do. And that’s why I wanted to meet you here in Chicago. I can’t contact him, but you can. If his parents agree.”
There was a knock on the door.
Karen ushered in a well-dressed couple. Kassie stood to greet them.
“Kassie, I’d like to introduce you to Sarah and Charlie Gaines.”
40
Drop the Mike
“What does that make me?” Kassie screamed at Annie the next night back in Boston. “Chris’s stepmother?”
“Only if you want to be.” Annie chuckled while she unscrewed a second bottle of wine.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You could either play the victim, or the heroine. The choice is yours.”
“But I am the victim. Of my stupid belief that I, and I alone, could fix this. Why couldn’t I have left Mike and his problems alone? But no, I had to insert myself into a situation where I had no business being. And look where it got me. I should’ve taken a page from my mother’s handbook and backed off.”
“It is quite comical you have to admit.”
“Glad you think so. Why am I not laughing?”
They prepared to stay up late with pen and paper mapping out different scenarios.
“This would be so much easier if we had a whiteboard.” Kassie ran her fingers through her hair, pulling it back into a ponytail. She primed herself to tackle the most consequential problem of her lifetime. And it was a humdinger.
She clapped her hands. “Okay, Annie Oakley, let’s get to it.”
“Sounds like you’re back to your old self. When was the last time you called me that?”
Kassie rubbed Annie’s shoulders. “Don’t know, but it warmed my heart to say it, dear friend.”
After a third bottle of wine and wads of yellow lined paper strewn around Annie’s living room, they had Kassie’s alternatives mapped out. There were two obvious paths. Either she did nothing, or she revealed all to Mike and Chris.
Annie agreed with Kassie that doing nothing was the path of least resistance. No one would be hurt if she kept Chris’s bloodline a secret. Except for Mike who’d never know if Chris could be a donor. He’d just continue on the waiting list. And then there was the elephant in the room. Could Kassie have a future with Chris knowing what she knew?
“Would it be too weird?” Annie asked.
“Even if I consciously could get past it, deep in the crevices of my mind, I’d always see him as Mike’s son. Wouldn’t I?”
Kassie admitted that revealing all had its upsides and downsides.
“Let’s assume Chris accepted Mike as his father, there’d be a fifty-fifty chance they’d match. If they didn’t, the least positive outcome would be that father and son would unite for the first time. That’s got to be good for something, right?”
“True. But that alternative is lose-lose for you. It would mean telling Mike you were unfaithful with the morals of a cat in heat, which could impact a divorce settlement, as well as ending a perfectly delicious relationship with Chris.”
“I think you’ve had too much to drink. You’re making me sound like a hussy.”
Annie got up, holding onto the arm of the couch preempting the possibility of tipping over. “Perhaps. But it’s better than slapping you and telling you to snap out of it.”
Kassie stood and faced Annie eye-to-eye. “You wouldn’t do that.”
“Maybe not literally. But your immorality is the reason you’re in this predicament. You have the power to steer this ship to port, Kassandra, and the authority to do so. And on that note, I’ll see you in the morning.”
Annie left Kassie alone with her thoughts. She’d lost Mike a long time ago, now she’d lose Chris, too. Whatever she did would impact Mike and Chris more than her. She knew what she had to do. It mattered.
The annual Ricci and Associates picnic was the following weekend at a park in Arlington. She called Mike and asked if he wouldn’t mind if she stopped by. He sounded thrilled to have her come. She knew Chris would be there as well.
After warm greetings by many on the staff, she pulled Mike aside to a bench under an enormous oak tree. Kassie could feel droplets of sweat trickle from her armpits to her waist. Nerves or the result of a typical scorcher of a July day in Boston? Whatever, the shade provided at least some temporary relief.
Kassie bit her lower lip and took a swig of water from her purple bottle. “I have some good news, and some not so great news.”
“Don’t be shy. Go for it.” Mike patted her knee.
“Well, the good news is I’ve found your son. So it’s possible he could be a donor.” She blurted out the cause and effect in one breath, hoping Mike would focus on how Kassie’s pending confession would be to his benefit.
“That’s amazing. How? Who?”
“Before I tell you the rest of the story, this all may be a shock to you. Please know I never meant to hurt you.”
Mike reached for Kassie’s hand as she said, “The not so great news is, I’ve been having an affair for the past few years.” Her saliva vanished like a tsunami when all the water is sucked out to the sea.
Mike swallowed so hard she could hear it. He got up, walked behind the bench and stood behind her. Despite the heat, goosebumps traveled up and down her arms and legs. An image of her stepfather flashed through her mind. Was he going to choke her?
Much to her relief, Mike placed his hands on her shoulders, leaned down and whispered, “Well, lassie, that makes the two of us. Now tell me about my son.”
Kassie and Mike moved farther away from the picnickers and walked for an hour around the park. She told him the rest of the story. All of it. Her visit with Karen. Meeting his son’s adoptive parents. How gracious and cooperative they were. And the final piece of the puzzle, the man she’d fallen in love with in Venice was Christopher Gaines, his son.
“THE Christopher Gaines. The freelancer from San Francisco? Imagine that.”
Kassie buried her head in her hands and apologized over and over again until the word sorry sounded like “shorry” through her tears. She told him how they hadn’t discovered Chris would be working at Ricci and Associates until Easter Sunday. Remember what a cluster that weekend was? And she didn’t know their familial connection until she’d met Karen the week before.
They found another bench under a bridge on the opposite side of the park. Mike wrapped his arms around Kassie and kissed her forehead.
“I knew things were different when you came back from Venice. I hoped whatever it was would pass. Chris, huh? What a coincidence! And they say things like this only happen in Hollywood.” They shared a laugh.
“What about you?” Kassie probed. “Who’s the lucky girl?”
“Just a passing flirtation. Nothing as scandalous as you and Chris.” He winked. “What do we do now?”
Kassie called Annie, who offered to host the soon-to-be father-son reunion. Mike and Kassie returned to the picnic area where she spotted Chris chatting it up with one of the twenty-something junior account executives. She suppressed the pang of jealousy in her gut, knowing her right to feel that way was fleeting.
“I saw you with Mike. Looked pretty serious. Is everything all right?”
Kassie shook her head, yes, and reached out and touched his heart. She invited him to visit her at Annie’s that evening. As she walked away, she turned back toward him. “Remember what Emily Dickinson said. ‘Truth is so rare, it is delightful to tell it.’” She blew him a kiss in front of God and everybody.
That night Mike, Annie, and Kassie barely talked as they waited for Chris to arrive. Annie poured Mike a bourbon. Kassie declined, certain she would throw up no matter what she drank.
Chris made things easy for them. He must’ve suspected something. Fi
rst, Kassie’s long walk with Mike that afternoon, then being greeted by them together.
“What’s up, guys?”
For once, Kassie was relieved when Mike took control of the situation. She doubted she’d be able to speak, let alone say the right words.
Mike offered Chris a seat on the couch and joined him there. Kassie sat on a side chair with Topher on her lap. Annie stood behind her holding her hand.
“Would you agree, Chris, that life is a long road? And that it is an even longer road that has no turning?”
Chris said he’d heard that proverb before.
“I have something to show you.” Mike turned over the frame of the college photo he’d kept on his credenza for years, the one with Karen on his knee.
Chris pulled the frame close to his face. “Hey, my mother’s in this photo.” First, Chris smiled and then frowned, looking confused.
“You’re right,” Mike said. “Your mothers are in this photo. Sarah your adoptive mother. And Karen your biological mother.” Mike pointed to each young woman.
Chris looked at Kassie, then Mike, coughed and said, “That makes you my . . . father?”
“Told you so.” Annie cleared her throat.
Kassie clapped her hands to her chest as Topher jumped off her lap and onto Chris’s.
Mike threw his arms in the air. “Topher and Christopher. Now I get it. I get it all.”
A year had passed since Kassie’s brain might as well have exploded when she discovered she’d been having an affair with her husband’s son.
It was dusk and quieting down in Venice; the lanterns coming to life as the daytime tourist crowd dispersed. Kassie had agreed to meet Annie in St. Mark’s Square at the same café she’d first met Chris. She’d kept a napkin as a souvenir, so it was easy to give Annie directions.
They also agreed it was time for Kassie to find closure beyond forgiving her mother since everyone else seemed to be moving on with their lives. Annie convinced her this trip would cure all the demons she and her therapist had spent countless hours exorcising for months on end.
Her divorce, which she’d delayed until Mike’s kidney transplant was completed and successful, would be final in September. As life would have it, Chris was not a match, but Karen was. No one had seriously thought of that as a possibility, except for Karen. She was tickled pink to give back to Mike after all he’d done for her.
Kassie suspected Karen would end up with the KR monogram she always wanted since she’d packed up all her cares and woe and moved her butt from Elephant Butte before the transplant to be near Mike and her newfound son. Once she settled into a short-term rental near Chris in Charlestown, Mike hired her as a receptionist at the firm.
After the big reveal, Chris requested a month off to spend time in Chicago reconciling with his adoptive parents. They had as much to explain to him about his adoption, as he had to tell them about his complex relationship with Kassie. Not surprisingly, he and Kassie agreed to take a hiatus without even one last roll in the hay. He returned to Boston this time to get acquainted with his mother and become a partner in Ricci and Son.
Kassie leaned her head back enjoying the cool breeze from the canal and swayed in her chair to Por uno Cabeza. She gathered it was a timeless selection of the St. Mark’s Square dueling dance bands.
A tall handsome waiter, named Gino, placed a glass of pinot grigio on her small table. She tried to remember. Gino? Couldn’t be. Maybe all waiters in Venice were named Gino.
“Grazie, Gino, but I didn’t order—”
“No, signorina, signore.” He gestured toward a tall man with dark hair and a slight, yet attractive, afternoon shadow sauntering toward her. He wore a smile reminiscent of someone she once knew. Someone she once loved. Someone she’d always love.
“Buono sera, are you expecting someone?”
Kassie wiped her damp palms on her black skirt. “Annie,” she whispered, at a loss for more words.
“She won’t be coming. Non tutte le ciambelle riescono col buco.”
Kassie tilted her head and raised her eyebrows. “Say what?”
“Things don’t always turn out as planned.” Chris took her hand, lifted her, and they danced.
The next morning, they flew to Paris to start a new chapter. It was Bastille Day. There would be fireworks. There just had to be.
What’s Not Said Playlist
On Spotify.com
https://spoti.fi/2sRDvp6
Access songs depicting the story on the What’s Not Said Playlist on Spotify.com, which is free*!
The Sound of Silence, Simon & Garfunkel
Where Did Our Love Go, The Supremes
Runaround Sue, Dion DiMucci
I Left My Heart in San Francisco, Tony Bennett
Sweet Caroline, Neil Diamond
O Sole Mio, Andrea Bocelli
Will You Love Me Tomorrow, The Shirelles
Great Balls of Fire, Jerry Lee Lewis
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, Neil Sedaka
All In Love is Fair, Stevie Wonder
You’ve Got A Friend, Carole King
Mrs. Robinson, Simon & Garfunkel
Photograph, Ringo Starr
Need You Now, Lady Antebellum
Come Away With Me, Norah Jones
Celebration, Kool & The Gang
The Sound of Silence (redux), Simon & Garfunkel
*Best browsers for Spotify’s Web Player are
Google Chrome, Firefox, Edge, and Opera.
Book Club Discussion Guide
1. The expiration date on the Ricci–O’Callaghan marriage passed long before the novel begins. If Kassie hadn’t met Chris, or if her mother hadn’t died, would she have stayed in the marriage indefinitely?
2. What do you think about Kassie’s theory that marriage should be a five-year renewable contract? What are the pros and cons? Could it ever work?
3. Both Kassie and her mother, Patricia O’Callaghan, embrace an Emily Dickinson quote: “Saying nothing . . . sometimes says the Most.” Did this motto serve them well? How would Kassie’s marriage and relationship with her mother been different had they both actually said something?
4. Kassie’s childhood was marred by the death of her father and the abuse of her wicked stepfather. Yet, her mother wielded a strong influence on her, as did Uncle Dan. How did these relationships shape Kassie’s view of marriage, family, career?
5. At the beginning of the novel, Mike is an unsympathetic character. Is he any more likable at the end of the story? What could he have done to redeem himself?
6. Are you surprised Kassie agreed to be tested to see if she could be a donor for Mike? What do you think she would have done if she were a match? Would you donate an organ to a relative, friend, or stranger?
7. When Nancy informs Kassie that her husband, Bill, saw her at the hotel, is Nancy acting as a friend or busybody?
8. When did you make the connection between Mike and Chris? It’s been said, “no coincidence, no story.” Do you believe in coincidences? Have you witnessed any in your life?
9. Discuss the ethics of Kassie’s decision to unlock the first box she found in Mike’s bureau and her determination to find and open the second. What do you think about her taking the money, and then putting it back? Would she have returned it if Chris hadn’t suggested she do so? What would you have done?
10. Why did Chris defend Mike? Should he have taken Kassie’s position? Are you surprised he didn’t agree to spy on Mike at the office?
11. What makes Kassie relatable? Did you connect more with Kassie or Bad Kassie?
12. The characters in this story lie and deceive as easily as they brush their teeth each day. Whose deceptions are the worst, most unforgivable? Mike’s lies? Kassie’s crimes? Patricia’s fibs? Or even Karen’s dishonesty?
13. Was Patricia O’Callaghan Mike’s accomplice or did she behave the way most mothers would? If you were Kassie, would you forgive Patricia?
14. At the beginning of the story, we learn that Kassie is a control
freak. Is being a control freak a flaw or a strength in her character?
15. What do you think the future holds for Kassie and Chris?
Notes
The following quote, “Saying nothing . . . sometimes says the Most,” was used with permission. EMILY DICKINSON: SELECTED LETTERS, edited by Thomas H. Johnson, Cambridge, Mass.: The Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, Copyright © 1958, 1971, 1986 by the President and Fellows of Harvard College. Copyright © 1914, 1924, 1932 by Martha Dickinson Bianchi.
Acknowledgments
It’s only fitting I properly thank the many people who supported me through the process of writing and publishing this book. Now is not the time to wonder what’s not said.
To the eagle-eyed women on the East and West coasts who read and critiqued this book—Lyn Englehartson, Vicki Crumpacker, Deb Travers, and Ayse McCarthy—I am filled with deep love and gratitude. Friends forever.
Thank you to the entire She Writes Press Team—Brooke Warner, Shannon Green, Krissa Lagos, Mimi Bark, Samantha Strom, and Elisabeth Kauffman—for your industry expertise, creative talent, patience, and guidance throughout this journey. It’s cliché to say I couldn’t have done it without you, but I’m going to say it anyway. Further, I’m especially fortunate to be part of the New York-area group, comprised of amazingly talented authors, expert resources, and now, new friends.
A major tip of my Red Sox hat to Jim Alkon, Editorial Director of BookTrib.com, a subsidiary of Meryl Moss Media. Also a Red Sox fan, Jim is a trusted mentor, providing sage advice and responding to my panic attacks, even on holidays. Who does that? Only the best.
The following organizations, resources, and individuals were instrumental in transforming me from a writer with a dream to an author with a debut novel. Thank you for the lift and motivation. For craft, the Westport Writers Workshop, Jerry Jenkins and The Writers’ Guild, Sara Salecky’s Writing School, and Samantha Bohrman at Manufixed. For tech support, Joseph Michael, a.k.a., The Scrivener Guy; Jeff Goins; and John Burke at PubSite. For the business of writing, Jane Friedman, Kathy Ver Eecke, and Green-light Your Book by Brooke Warner.
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