No response was required so he didn’t say anything.
Sydney cleared her throat. “I’d better, uh, just go on up.” Again she hesitated. “It’s not you, Danny. I don’t want you to think that I’m not attracted to you. But I have to think about my son. What kind of mother would I be if I was willing to hop into bed with a man I’ve only known a couple of days?”
He could understand that rationale, could even applaud it with the part of his mind that wasn’t occupied trying to will away his raging arousal. “Go, Sydney,” he said. “I’m not stopping you.”
She stood there for another long moment, but finally, to his intense relief, he heard her soft footfalls turn away and walk into the house.
It was for the best, he assured himself. Sleeping with an uninvited, temporary guest would have been a huge mistake. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t let it matter that she was the first person he’d woken up anticipating seeing in a long, long time.
Tomorrow the doc could take her back to Kauai and get her settled somewhere there until she felt able to travel home again.
She must be an early riser, because when he went down to breakfast after finishing his morning workout and showering, Sydney was already seated at the table on the lanai. She appeared to be done eating and when he said, “Good morning,” she glanced up and smiled, a brief, impersonal change of expression that meant nothing.
“Good morning.”
Then she rose, avoiding his gaze, and he realized she was going to leave him to dine alone. He almost protested but then remembered last night. The less time he spent with her, the less he would mind it when he was alone again. Still, he would be a poor host if he didn’t check on her health, given the manner in which she’d arrived. “Sydney, wait a minute.”
She stopped and turned.
“How are you feeling?”
She shrugged. “Fine. Still stiff and sore, but that will pass.”
He shook his head. “I mean, how are you doing? Have you remembered anything else?”
She nodded. “Some things. I can picture my office and the people I work with, my family, my childhood…but I still have the sense that I’m missing something important.” She shook her head. “But I can’t imagine what it could be, because there aren’t many glaring gaps in my memories now.”
He noticed she didn’t say there weren’t any. “That’s good,” he said aloud. “I, uh, spoke with Dr. Atada. He’s coming over at three to check you out again. Then he’s going to take you back to Kauai, to a hotel, until you’re ready to fly home. It’ll be better if you’re somewhere close so that the doctor can keep an eye on you.” He realized he was babbling nervously and he clamped his mouth shut.
Sydney’s eyes had gone very wide at first, then she simply seemed to deflate. “All right,” she said quietly. “I’ll go and gather my things.”
Oddly enough, he felt almost annoyed at her easy acquiescence. “Do you remember how long you initially planned to vacation?” he asked.
She hesitated, then nodded. “A week. And I’ve already spent two additional days recuperating.” Her eyes were sad. “Thank you for your hospitality. Even if I never remember everything, it’ll be nice to have memories of such a lovely place. I’m just sorry I didn’t get to see more of Hawaii.”
Before he could talk himself out of the impulsive offer, Danny said, “I can’t offer you Oahu and the Big Island all in one day, but how would you like to take a helicopter tour before you leave? We can see Nanilani, Kauai and Ni’ihau from the air.” It was just guilt, he decided, because he felt as if he was kicking her out. It wasn’t that he particularly wanted to spend more time in her company.
Of course not.
But Sydney was shaking her head. “Oh, no thank you. It’s a generous offer, but I couldn’t possibly….” Her cheeks were growing pink. “I wasn’t complaining—”
“Sydney.”
She shut her mouth abruptly and simply looked at him.
“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t mean it. In fact, I think I’ll go whether or not you do. I’ve never taken an air tour, either.”
“You haven’t? But you live here!” There was astonishment in her voice.
“That’s right. I live here. I haven’t had the urge to leave or do much of anything.”
Her brow furrowed. “Danny, exactly how long is it since you’ve been off this island?”
He smiled. “I’ve spent almost four years here without setting foot off this place.”
“You mean four years since you left Hawaii,” she said doubtfully.
He shook his head. “Four years since I left this island.”
She looked shocked. But he didn’t really want to pursue the topic, so as she opened her mouth again he said, “So what do you think? Would you like to go on a tour?”
She nodded. “Yes, but only if you’re not just doing it because you feel sorry for me.”
“I don’t feel sorry for you,” he said.
“But won’t it be difficult to line up a tour on such short notice?” she asked. “I thought those helicopter tours had to be booked well in advance.”
“Not always. I’ll go talk to Leilani and see if I can make it happen.” As he walked into the house, he realized Sydney didn’t really have a concept of just how much money he had. Did she know he could buy a whole helicopter fleet today if he felt like it?
He’d never felt particularly privileged, though he knew most people looking at his life from the surface would trade places with him in a heartbeat. So many people believed money would make them happy.
Those people, though, had never spent their childhoods believing they were responsible for a tragedy. Those people hadn’t grown up with a mother who was far more in love with a booze bottle and searching for her own pleasure than she was in raising or reassuring her children. Those people hadn’t been shuffled off to military school “for their own good.” And he was damn sure none of those people had had a son abducted and a wife commit suicide.
No, money couldn’t buy happiness. And he was pretty damn certain that if he had a lot less of it he would still be the same guy who’d withdrawn from the world. He might be living under a bridge somewhere instead of on an island in the Pacific, but would he really care?
Probably not.
Thirty minutes later he knocked on the door of Sydney’s bedroom.
The sound of light footsteps crossing the floor caught his ear, then the knob turned. “Hello,” Sydney said.
“Ready to go for a ride?” he asked.
Her face lit up as if someone had touched a match to a waiting wick. “Are you kidding? I never thought you’d be able to arrange it!”
Her open delight warmed him. It had been a long time since he’d seen anyone smile at him like that. “He’ll be here in about ten minutes. You might want to tie your hair back or something.”
“I’ll braid it,” she said. Turning around, she rushed to the low vanity and tossed open the lid of a small travel case. She rummaged around and finally came up with a comb and a fat elastic band. “Give me two minutes,” she said.
He could have left. Should have left. But as Sydney turned back to the mirror and her fingers began to weave her hair, he simply stood in the doorway and drank in the sight.
Her fingers flew, separating and gathering small sections of hair, braiding it into a single smooth line starting at the crown of her head. She’d lifted her arms above her head and the motion pulled her shirt taut against the lower curves of small, pert breasts. Her arms were graceful curves, the whole picture so quintessentially feminine that Danny found himself battling the urge to cross the room and put his arms around her.
Her hair was shoulder-length and by the time she got to the nape of her neck, there were no more loose strands. Deftly, she twisted the elastic around the bottom of the braid several times until it was tight.
She dropped the comb and turned around again. “There,” she said. “Less than two minutes.”
“You’re, uh, good at t
hat,” he said, and had to clear his throat. He’d thought she was pretty before, but with all her hair back away from her face, the smooth, oval perfection of her patrician features was revealed. Wide blue eyes beneath finely arched brows, a small straight nose and the full bow of her lips. High cheekbones that emphasized the fragility of her face.
“Lots of practice.” She smiled at him, and the expression crinkled her eyes and invited him to share in her amusement. She turned and picked up a small backpack-style bag, which she slung over one shoulder. “Okay. I’m ready.”
She’d never thought about how loud a helicopter flight would be. Fortunately, the pilot Danny had engaged had three headsets that muffled the noise even as it permitted him to talk about the geographical wonders over which they flew.
After a quick pass over the tiny bulk of Nanilani, with its black cliffs and golden sand beaches, the pilot flew west, over the privately owned island of Ni’ihau. A shield volcano had erupted there once, the pilot informed them, and much of the wider northern end of the heavily forested, sparsely populated island was formed by low-rise cinder cones and lava flows. All the western islands, he explained, were no longer part of the active volcanic region. Far older than the young, fiery islands to the southeast, Ni’ihau, Kauai and Nanilani were actually in the slow process of eroding back into the sea from which they’d been born. The string of tiny islands that could be seen stretching even farther west, including Midway and the Pearl and Hermes atolls, names she recognized from her high-school history class, were even farther along in the process of being cannibalized by the ocean.
The pilot didn’t spend much time on Ni’ihau before heading due north for a flyby of a tiny islet, Lehua Rock. Looking like a giant crab claw, Lehua’s sea-breached semicircle was all that remained of a volcanic crater from ages past. It was both fascinating and utterly alien.
After Lehua, the plane veered east toward Kauai. As the cottony puffs of clouds receded and Kauai came into full view, she caught her breath. The island was lovely. The corner of her eye spotted a movement and she turned to meet Danny’s eyes.
Wow, he mouthed, and she grinned, nodding her head. Wow, indeed. And not just wow to the air tour, she thought. Every time she met Danny’s intense blue eyes, she felt a little zing of recognition or attraction. And if she were honest, arousal as well. The man was so gorgeous he made her want to pant. And that kiss…An involuntary shiver chased itself down her spine. She could spend the rest of her life kissing Danny Crosby. Among other things.
Ah. Other things. Besides recalling the fact that she wasn’t married, had never been, she’d given little thought to her level of experience with the opposite sex. But now she realized that she also knew she wasn’t a virgin.
Oh, she wasn’t a slut, but she hadn’t had much sexual experience. Just one semi-serious relationship in college with… She waited for the memory to reform. Micah. That had been his name. She’d thought for a while she might be in love with him, but they’d drifted apart after graduation with no rancor and even less desire to put in the work necessary to maintain a relationship.
Since then, she’d dated steadily but not seriously. Or at least she had until her son came along—
The thought stopped her abruptly. That one gaping hole still left in her memory was making her far more uneasy than it should. Why couldn’t she remember Nick’s birth? Had he been adopted, as she was beginning to suspect? And if so, why would she have chosen to adopt a child as a young single woman? There was something…something just beyond her reach that was important. Or at least she thought so.
She wished she knew the whole story so she could share it with Danny. They were crossing a short stretch of ocean between Lehua and Kauai now, and she turned and glanced at the object of her thoughts.
He was watching her.
That simple meeting of their eyes doubled her heartbeat but she forced herself to ignore it. She smiled at him, indicated the window where the islands and whitecaps lay beneath them and mouthed, “Thank you.”
He smiled back and the expression lit his face with extraordinary charm. He didn’t smile often, but usually was sober and hard to read, his handsome features set in granite. But oh, when he smiled… It transformed his handsome features. His blue eyes danced, and her foolish heart was sure there was a special softness hidden there meant just for her.
Then he reached over and took her hand where it lay on the armrest of the seat. Raising it to his lips, he pressed a gentle kiss to the back of it as he watched her steadily.
She had to close her eyes for a second when the warmth of his mouth touched her skin. Desire, bright and blinding, rose in a rush, urging her to unbuckle her seatbelt and climb right over there into his lap.
But it didn’t matter, she reminded herself. She’d be leaving later in the day, and although he’d been a most gracious host, she knew she would never see him again. His eyes might tell her that he wished things were different, but Danny wrapped his isolation around himself like a blanket holding the chill at bay. And now that she understood all the harrowing experiences that had shaped his life, she had to respect his decision to keep his life placid, pleasant—and utterly devoid of any emotional entanglement.
The pilot spoke again and she returned her attention to the view beyond their flying bubble. Kauai, he said, had forty-three beaches strung around it, more per mile than any of the other six major islands. Its western coast lay before them, the fifteen-mile stretch of sand beaches pounded by some of the most treacherous surf on the island. The beaches were generally sun-kissed and beautiful, although along the wild and inaccessible coastline there, they were rarely visited. It was easy to see why, as the helicopter flew over verdant, two-thousand-foot-high cliffs that had been so heavily eroded they reminded her of the fluted edges of a pie crust or a rumpled blanket. Their name, the Na Pali range, meant cliffs in Hawaiian.
While the coastal areas were quite dry, she was astonished to learn that the peak of Wai’ale’ale, visible in the middle of the island, bore the distinction of being the wettest spot on Earth. As they continued eastward, her mouth suddenly fell open. They were flying over a deep, heavily eroded canyon that reminded her strongly of Arizona’s Grand Canyon. She pointed down, raising her eyebrows at Danny questioningly. He shot her another grin, accompanied by a “don’t ask me” shrug of his shoulders, and she felt that funny little hitch in her heartbeat again.
Their pilot had caught her gesture. They were over Waimea Canyon, he explained. He pointed out a rainbow shimmering in the mist to their right, and then took them down for an adrenaline thrill as they appeared to maneuver almost between some of the jutting peaks.
She was enchanted. Waterfalls spouted from the cliff walls and fell to the valley floor. And though they continued on around Kauai, nothing else she saw could compare to the wild, romantic appeal of the canyon.
A lot like her host.
She was very much afraid that no matter how many men she met after she returned home, none of them would touch her heart or draw her body’s response like the lonely, unexpectedly irresistible man she’d found on a small, isolated island.
Six
Danny was quiet once they were back on the ground. She’d thanked him effusively after they’d climbed out of the helicopter, and she thought perhaps she’d embarrassed him.
Or maybe he just couldn’t wait to get rid of her. She checked the clock on the hall table. Dr. Atada would be arriving at three to take her back to Kauai. She should just go on up and get her things. A short and sweet leave-taking would definitely be for the best, she thought, an ache in her throat.
But as she turned toward the stairs, Danny caught her elbow. “Sydney, I—”
“Thank you again,” she said quickly. “I’ll go bring down my bags.”
“I asked Johnny to bring down your suitcase,” he told her. “Leilani made us a late lunch on the lanai. Would you like to have one last meal here before you go?”
Sydney stared up at him, trying to read his expressi
on. He was a confusing mass of contradictions. One minute she’d swear he couldn’t wait to get rid of her, the next he seemed to be begging for her company. She could only hope that meant she sent him into the same kind of tailspin that his presence had done to her.
It doesn’t matter, she reminded herself fiercely. Aloud, she said, “That sounds lovely. Thank you.”
The meal was as beautifully presented and unique as always. Danny informed her it was called lomi salmon, a chilled salad mix of raw, salted salmon, tomatoes and onions. Leilani had asked her yesterday if she liked sushi, and Sydney now realized why she’d asked. The salad was delicious. For dessert, there was a Jell-O ring studded with Methley plums, a local delicacy harvested at Kohe’e State Park.
As Leilani carefully placed the dessert mold on the table after clearing their lunch plates, the Jell-O wiggled lightly. Sydney turned her head to look fully at it—
And was stunned by a vivid wave of memory bursting through her like the sea through a hole in a boat.
The ring in the middle of the Jell-O…a hole in a boat… Her boat!
“Danny,” she blurted. “I know how I got here.”
He looked at her, clearly interested. “You remember it?”
She nodded. “I just did. It was the Jell-O.” Her voice trailed away as the import of all the memories racing through her fully registered. Dear God. Danny—
His voice intruded. “Sydney, what’s wrong? What are you recalling?” He laid his hand over her suddenly chilled fingers and squeezed lightly.
“Oh, Danny,” she said miserably, “I know why I wanted to see where you live, and why I wanted to meet you. I rented a speedboat. It took me almost all day to find someone who would let me take a boat out alone—”
“And he shouldn’t have,” Danny said grimly. “The ocean is vastly different from anything you were used to before.”
She nodded. “I got caught in a strong current and carried onto the reef just offshore. The coral tore a hole in the boat and it went down so fast…. One moment I was wrestling with the motor, the next I was in the water.”
The Homecoming Page 7
