Childish thoughts.
And yet...
He got out and walked her to the door. He still didn’t like the thought of her staying here alone. “Do you want me to stay with you awhile?”
Yes, she did. And because she did, because she wanted him to take her in his arms and just hold her, Serena shook her head. “No, I’ll be all right.”
Turning away, she slipped her hand into her pocket for the key to the front door.
“Serena?”
The sound of his voice had her turning. Anticipation began to wreak havoc on her knees. “Yes?”
He didn’t answer. Not in so many words. Instead, he lightly played his fingers along her face, a face he’d longed to touch again, a face that had been imprinted in his mind all these years.
Impulse carried him further. Cupping her cheek, he leaned over and kissed her.
If she had imagined that she could resist, the thought left her immediately. Her heart, which had stilled as he moved closer to her, was beating madly now, like the wings of a hummingbird.
With a moan she was unaware came from her, Serena reached up and slid her arms around his neck, cleaving to him, to the kiss that meant more to her than life itself right now.
Something stirred within her, fighting to be free.
Chapter 8
Serena could feel herself sinking farther and farther into the kiss. Farther and farther away from herself and everything else. Disembodied, she was being submerged in a river of fire.
Wants, needs, passions, all slammed against one another like the occupants of a runaway train that had been derailed.
No! Not again. Not a second time, she thought frantically. She couldn’t let herself feel this way again, couldn’t let the feelings take over. There was only disappointment waiting for her at the end of the road. Disappointment always followed when she loved, when she gave her heart away. She couldn’t stand it happening to her again.
Tears stung her eyes.
Struggling to pull herself back out of the time warp she had fallen into, Serena wedged her hands against Cameron’s chest and pushed. Not hard—she didn’t have the strength to push hard—but it was enough.
Feeling her resistance, Cameron backed away.
He was as dazed, as confused as she appeared to be, he thought. More, because he could feel she wanted this, wanted what was beginning to happen between them to happen. She wanted it as much as he did. Yet she was pushing him away.
Serena’s palms were still pressed against his chest, more for her own stability than to hold him off. She knew Cameron wouldn’t force himself on her. No matter how much the world changed, some things did remain constant.
“I’d better go inside.” Her voice was low, husky, as if she were afraid her emotions would all come pouring out if she spoke any louder.
She couldn’t even get in a lungful of air, she thought desperately.
He didn’t want her to go. He wanted her to stand right here, so that he could look at her, just look at her, with the moonlight caressing her skin the way he yearned to.
Damn, he had to get a grip.
Getting a toehold on restraint, Cameron nodded vaguely in response to her words. “I’ll check on you in the morning.”
Maybe it would be better if he didn’t. The ground she found herself on was awfully shaky. If she saw him all the time, it might liquefy completely. “You don’t have to keep doing that.”
He was so tired of her pushing him away, when all he wanted was to be with her.
“I’ll check on you in the morning.” He fairly growled the repetition. “Don’t tell me what I have to or don’t have to do, Serena.”
He could taste her on his lips when he spoke. He tasted sweetness, and something that hinted of barely touched seduction. It was enough to send Cameron’s belly churning as desire crawled around inside, clawing at him.
Temper, something he’d never seen in her eyes before, flared as she met his anger head-on, refusing to flinch before it. “I just don’t want you to put yourself out, that’s all.”
“I’ll damn well put myself out if I want to,” he snapped. “Good night.” With that, he turned on his heel and stalked away.
This wasn’t the way the evening was supposed to end, he muttered to himself. He heard the door close behind him. Hard.
The hell with her. The hell with everything.
Cameron was almost to his car when he heard it. Serena’s scream. Ringing with terror, it filled the still crystal goblet of the night, cracking it.
Adrenaline soaring, legs pumping, Cameron made it back to Serena’s door in less than two heartbeats. The doorknob wouldn’t give beneath his hand. He didn’t have time to fiddle with the rusted lock. Instead, he kicked the door open and burst into the house.
“Serena!” Panic ate a huge chunk out of him as he frantically scanned the area.
He found her standing in the darkened foyer, visibly shaking. His arms were around her instantly, holding her to him, the warmth of his body reaching out to her in silent comfort.
Not knowing what to think, Cameron tilted her head up until her eyes met his, his hand gently cupping her chin.
“Serena—What—?”
Mutely, she pointed, and only then did he see it. What she had brushed up against in the dark. Something was hanging from the chandelier, still swaying from the abrupt contact.
One arm still around her, Cameron felt behind him on the wall until he found the light switch. He threw it open. Faded, dirty bulbs gave a yellow cast to the light that pooled around the object.
It was a doll.
A doll with long reddish hair was hanging from a rope, as if it had been executed. A doll that was meant to be Serena.
Cameron thought the outrage that bubbled up in his throat was going to choke him. He held Serena tighter, averting her face from the sight.
There was a note attached to the front of the doll with a single straight pin. The word Leave stood out in big block letters cut out of a magazine.
Cursing, Cameron pulled out his handkerchief and took hold of the doll, jerking it free. He wrapped the doll in the handkerchief and set it aside, out of Serena’s sight.
“I guess you’re right,” he told her, trying to contain the fury that was spreading wide wings inside him. Someone was threatening Serena. Some cowardly bastard was slinking around in the shadows, trying to terrorize her. The way he felt, he could have used his bare hands to kill him right now.
But he couldn’t let that feeling rule him. He was sworn to do otherwise.
Cameron stroked her hair, waiting until the trembling stopped. Hers and his own. “There was a third party involved somehow.”
She was in control again, swallowing the terrified sobs that threatened to overwhelm her. She tried to focus on the positive aspect. It wasn’t just a groundless belief anymore. “Then someone else did kill them.”
He didn’t know if it went quite that far. “Or knows something about it that we don’t and is afraid we might stumble on to it.” Very gently, he brushed the hair away from her face. Serena wasn’t crying, he realized. He’d expected her to. She was braver than he’d thought. His arm closed around her. “Come on, I’ll take you back to Rachel’s. You can stay there tonight.”
But she shook her head, shrugging him away. Serena retreated a step, going deeper into the foyer. “No, they’re not going to chase me out. I’m staying right here.”
She was more stubborn than she was smart, he thought, annoyed. He glanced around the room. “All right, then I’ll spend the night on the sofa.” It looked about as comfortable as sleeping on a rock. Even Martinez’s car looked more inviting by comparison. “That way, I can be near the door.” He’d broken the lock kicking it in, and there was no way they could get someone out this late to fix it.
Her breathing was already steadying. Any moment, her nerves would settle down again, she promised herself. Nothing would be accomplished if she gave in to the urge to fall apart.
“No, that’s al
l right. It really isn’t necessary for you to put yourself out.”
His temper snapped like a log burned clean through in the fireplace.
“Put myself out?” he echoed in disbelief. “Damn it, Serena, I’m not setting an extra place at the table or trying to stretch a meal for two into three servings.” He loomed over her, unconsciously trying to cower her into agreement. “Don’t you understand what’s going on here? If someone can come in to hang a damn doll on your damn chandelier, then someone can damn well come back and hurt you. Especially since you don’t have a damn door to lock anymore.” The very thought of someone touching her, of hurting her, ripped jagged shards of glass through his flesh. “I don’t intend for that to happen, so you might as well resign yourself to having me stay, whether you want me to or not.”
Cameron’s eyes darkened like the sea in a storm at night. “It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve rejected me, but this time, it’s business.”
Serena stared at him, completely lost and dumbfounded. “What are you talking about?”
“Business,” he repeated, shouting at her. Clenching his hands at his sides, he managed to regain control over himself. “I’m a cop,” he continued in a voice an octave lower. “I’m supposed to protect people, even when they want to tell me to go to hell.”
She hadn’t been asking about that. She’d meant the part about her rejecting him before, but what he’d said just now affected her deeply. Did he really believe that? Did he really think she would have ever said something so hateful to him? Serena forgot her own pain as something within her reached out to Cameron.
“I don’t want to tell you to go to hell, Cameron.” Didn’t he know that? “Even at the worst of it, I never wanted anything bad to happen to you.”
He wanted to hold her, to take her into his arms, not as a friend, not as someone trying to comfort her, but as a lover, and lose himself in her.
He knew better.
Damn it, wouldn’t this ache for her ever let him be?
Cameron blew out a shaky breath, then placed his arm around her shoulders in a gesture that said nothing of the feelings that were knotting up his insides.
“C’mon, let’s check out your room and make sure it’s safe. You need to get your sleep,” he told her quietly. “You’re paler than the ghosts Ethan likes to claim hang around here.”
She needed her sleep, and he needed her to be in a room away from him, before he forgot his promise to himself not to touch her again.
Cameron woke with a start. A moment later, his body began upbraiding him for the abuse it had suffered at his hands. The ache began at the top of his head and traveled down his neck, taking side trips to his shoulders and then shimmying down his spine.
He felt as if he were a hundred and three years old, and he probably looked it, too.
After barricading the front door with a heavy armchair, then prowling around the house twice over to satisfy himself that there was no one there, Cameron had finally returned to the living room. He’d spent the night on the sofa, as he’d told Serena he would, but he’d spent it sitting up. Cameron had maneuvered the antique piece of furniture sideways so that it directly faced the entrance and also gave him a clear view of the front half of the ground floor. It had been the best he could do at the time.
Then he stood guard through the night. He had the ability to shut his eyes, instantly stealing snatches of sleep. Just enough to keep him going. This morning, he felt a little better than hell warmed over, but not by much.
At least no one had put in another appearance. But what about today? He was going to call someone about putting in a security system, he decided. If Serena didn’t have enough sense to try to take care of herself, he was going to have to do it for her.
Cameron rotated his shoulder and winced as the pain danced up to his ear and down to almost his feet. He vaguely remembered that Olson had a nephew in the business. Since he’d worked his tail off to get those reports on the man’s desk yesterday, Cameron figured he was out of the doghouse. Maybe Olson could get his nephew to cut him a break, especially seeing as how Serena was his goddaughter.
Looking around the room, Cameron tried to rub the ache out of his neck, without much success. Something had startled him awake, but what?
He listened intently, trying to figure it out. But it wasn’t what he heard, it was what he smelled, that had seeped into his consciousness.
The smell of coffee.
It coaxed a smile from his lips.
And, the next moment, so did she.
Serena, dressed in navy blue shorts and a sleeveless striped cotton top that seemed to breathe with her, came into the living room carrying a tray with toast, eggs and coffee.
Good enough to eat, he thought. And so was the food, when he turned his attention to it.
“Beware of barefoot maidens bearing gifts,” he murmured, his eyes skimming along the length of her. She was petite, compact, but what there was was gorgeous and took his breath away. It was obvious that his system was going to continue to get a workout.
Serena set the tray on the coffee table in front of him, then sat down next to Cameron.
“I thought I’d bring you breakfast in here. The kitchen’s still a mess,” she explained.
And then, tucking her legs under her, she suddenly grinned.
It seemed so natural, having her here like this, looking like that. He loved seeing her face light up. Now, as then, it didn’t seem to happen nearly frequently enough.
He wanted to share whatever it was that had made her smile like that. “What?”
“This is probably the first time a crumb of food has ever been in this room.” Getting comfortable, she leaned her elbow against the back of the sofa and propped up her head, spiking her fingers through her hair. “Mother was very strict about keeping it off-limits, except for very special people.” Her eyes smiled as they touched him. “I guess you qualify.”
He could feel that knot getting bigger and tighter. He pressed his hand against his belly, as if that would make the sensation go away, or at least lessen.
“Serena, don’t look at me like that. I don’t think I can take it on an empty stomach.”
She caught her lower lip between her teeth, not following him. “Why, am I turning it?”
“No, but you’re—” What was the use of telling her that she had only to look at him to make his knees turn to jelly and his blood sizzle in his veins? It wasn’t going to lead anywhere. It was better left unsaid. Cameron shook his head. “Never mind. It’s too complicated to explain.”
He drained the coffee she’d brought him in three good-size gulps, although this morning he didn’t need the caffeine to kick-start his day. Seeing her had already accomplished that.
Serena watched and marveled as Cameron consumed his breakfast in large, all engulfing bites. Was he in that much of a hurry to leave? “Do you always eat breakfast like that?”
His mouth full, Cameron nodded. He waited until he swallowed, then answered, “I do if I want to give a place a once-over before racing home to change so I can get to work at a decent time.” He wiped his mouth with the paper towel she’d supplied, since she had no napkins, and tossed it on the tray. “Your mild-mannered ‘Uncle Dan’ can give a hell of a chewing out when he wants to and I’m not in the mood to be complacent.”
Between the incident of the hanging doll and spending the night on guard, close enough to Serena to transform his yearning into an ongoing thing, his temper was pretty close to frayed.
“As I remember,” she said, a half smile playing on her lips, “you never were.”
His laugh was short and completely mirthless. “I’ve mellowed in my old age.” Rising, he pushed the tray back on the table. Serena jumped to her feet, standing beside him. “I’m calling a locksmith I know for you. And I want you to promise me that you’ll call me if anything, anything,” he repeated emphatically, “out of the ordinary happens here today, understand?”
Serena slowly looked around, taking in
her surroundings. Taking inventory of her memory. “The ordinary never had a place here,” she told Cameron quietly.
Everything appeared to check out. After calling the locksmith and arranging for him to come by first thing that morning, Cameron made sure all the windows were properly secured. Even though they were, there seemed to be a draft coming from somewhere.
Serena ran her hands along her arms. “Just restless spirits moving around,” she answered, when he commented on the breeze.
He wondered if she believed that. He wondered if he did.
Cameron shook off the mood. “I still wish you were staying at Rachel’s.” He made a mental note to call Kirk when he got the chance. Maybe his brother-in-law could drop by and keep an eye on Serena under some pretext. He’d feel better, knowing someone he trusted was around.
She glanced at the chandelier. She knew what he was thinking. “Maybe it was just some kid, playing a stupid prank.”
“A strong kid, with access to a really tall ladder,” he said sarcastically.
He’d picked up the doll and stuffed it in his jacket pocket earlier. The probability of any viable, identifiable fingerprints being found on it were next to nil, but you never knew. Sometimes, the odds were with you and you got lucky.
Serena walked with him to the front door. Cameron stopped just short of the doorway. She wasn’t predictable anymore, and she worried him. He wanted her safe, and there wasn’t anything he could do about it.
Except to ask. “I don’t want you taking any chances, Serena.”
His concern touched her, even though she knew she shouldn’t let it. Her mouth curved. “I’ve always been a coward, remember?”
“No, that I don’t remember.” A coward wouldn’t have endured her mother. A coward would have run away. And a coward would never have returned to clear her father’s name in the face of overwhelming evidence and against fantastic odds.
Bending his head, Cameron brushed his lips lightly against hers, knowing that if he allowed himself anything more, he wouldn’t leave.
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