“He beat me up. On several occasions.”
Aunt Loretta’s breath caught.
“I tried to break up with him, but he got so violent I was scared to leave.” She traced her finger around the smooth rim of her mug. “He showed up at Jenna’s store, threatened me and broke some lamps. He’s in jail and so far he hasn’t made bail. Jenna’s pressing charges and he’ll have a trial at some point.”
“You’re not still with him?”
“No. That’s why I’m staying at Jenna’s ranch. I’ve got a restraining order against him in case he gets out. He doesn’t know where I am. Besides, no one can get in the gate without a password or someone in the main house opening the gate.”
“You should have come to me.” Aunt Loretta smoothed a hand down the length of Tori’s hair. “I’d have helped you.”
“I didn’t want him to hurt you.” Tori’s voice caught. “And now, since I’m pregnant, I’ll be tied to him forever.”
“No.” Aunt Loretta stomped her foot. “You don’t tell him. And don’t name him on the birth certificate. A man like that has no rights to an innocent, fragile baby.”
“But isn’t part of being a Christian being honest?”
“I don’t think God expects you to be honest with a man like that. You need to keep yourself and your baby safe.”
Tori shook her head and covered her face with her hands. “He’ll find out. Even though he’s in jail, eventually he’ll get out and he’ll come after me. I’ll get huge and he’ll see me.”
“We’ll keep you safe. I’d like to see this jerk get past me.” Aunt Loretta settled in the chair across from Tori, clasping both of her hands. “I’m so proud of you. This baby will complicate everything for you. In an age when women routinely get abortions and kill innocent babies because it’s inconvenient, you’ve decided to keep your child.”
“I hope I can do right by this baby.” Tori hugged her stomach. “At least I had one good parent to learn from.”
“You’ll do fine. And I’ll be around to help you.” Aunt Loretta stood. “Now, you go get ready. And you can talk with the pastor before church.”
With leaden legs, Tori stood.
How would her pastor take the news?
And Brant. What would he think of her?
* * *
In the principal’s office—that’s how Tori felt. Only this time, she was in her new pastor’s office and she’d just dumped her story at his feet.
A stoic Aunt Loretta sat by her side in front of the oak desk.
“In light of the potential violence from the father,” Pastor Thomas cleared his throat, “I think your aunt is right. The fewer people who know about your pregnancy at this stage, the safer you and the baby will be.”
The praying hands on the face of the clock on the wall behind the pastor drew her gaze. She read the verse underneath, “And, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen. Matthew 28:20.” A comfort. Yet the relentless tick of the clock served as a reminder, she couldn’t stop time. Or the progression of her pregnancy.
“But eventually, I won’t be able to hide it anymore.”
“Maybe by then, the father will be in prison. Did he beat you after you became pregnant?”
She nodded.
Disgust flashed across the pastor’s face. “That could help your case. It wasn’t just you this man beat up, but an innocent child also.”
“I didn’t press charges against him. Jenna did because of what he did at her store.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because it would only make him more angry.” Tori swallowed hard. “And eventually, he’ll get out of jail.”
“But the fact that he beat you up during your pregnancy could send him to prison and keep him away from you longer.”
“But then he’d know I’m pregnant.” Her voice caught.
“Good point.” Brother Thomas blew out a frustrated sigh. “How many beatings since the pregnancy?”
Thinking back, she closed her eyes. It had been a month since Russ had beaten her up before that last time. Only because she’d done everything he asked, even stooping to offering sex to appease him. She shivered. “Just once.”
“Did you tell your doctor this?”
“Yes. He did an ultrasound and several tests. The baby is fine.” Tori’s chin trembled. “I can’t do anything right. Not even keep a baby safe.”
Her aunt patted her knee.
“Tori, you’ve made some bad choices. But that’s in the past.” Brother Thomas gave her a reassuring smile. “You’re doing the right thing now. The fact that you’re continuing your pregnancy is monumental. Under the circumstances, a lot of women would abort.”
“And I probably would have a year ago. But not now.” She pressed her hand against her stomach. But should she raise this child? Even if Russ went to prison, eventually he’d get out. And if he learned he had a child, she and her baby would never be free of him. Never be safe.
Besides, what did she know about babies? Surely there were better potential mothers out there looking for a baby. Should she give her baby up?
The pastor checked his watch. “We’d better get to the sanctuary.”
“This is Kate’s last Sunday, right? Should I still plan to play the piano next Sunday?”
“Yes.” Brother Thomas stood. “We usually have a three-month trial period—to make sure a candidate is reliable, can play more than six songs and that no one else is interested—that kind of thing. Then if the candidate is willing, we put it to a vote. When it comes time to vote you in or if you start showing—you’ll need to tell the congregation about the baby.” He pushed his chair under the desk. “Take a few minutes if you need it.”
“I knew he was a good man the first time I met him,” Aunt Loretta whispered. “You’re in the right church, child.”
She’d passed three tests. Jenna, her aunt and her pastor. None had judged her. All supported her.
But how would the congregation feel once they knew the truth?
And more important, how would Brant feel about her?
Something twisted inside her.
Chapter 5
“Tori, would you please come forward?” The pastor gestured toward her.
Brant sent her his best reassuring smile as she stood and made her way to the front of the church, looking shaky.
But she didn’t look at Brant. Not even a glance. Just as cold as last week. What was up with her?
“Tori accepted Jesus as her Savior recently, was baptized and joined our church.” Clapping echoed through the congregation and the pastor cleared his throat. “And that’s not all. Tori plays the piano and has agreed to fill in for us since we’re currently musically challenged.”
Laughter rippled through the crowd followed by another round of applause as Tori settled at the piano.
“Easter’s only a week away.” Brant flipped through his songbook. “Maybe next year, we’ll have a choir. In the meantime, turn to number 430.”
Pages turned and rustled. Would he even be here next year? If he realized his dream of leading music at a megachurch, would he have to read the words off the screen? He loved traditional church. The old hymns, hymnbooks and pews. Surely there was a traditional megachurch out there.
He signaled Tori to begin. Though she still hadn’t looked at him, she began playing. Stiff. And she plinked a wrong key twice. Relax. Lord, help her relax. She had enough stress in her life. He certainly didn’t want to add to it.
Her intro ended and he began singing. Even with her nerves, it was amazing how well their musical styles blended. As if she’d been playing for him their entire lives. She didn’t drag him along like the former pianist. Instead, Tori followed his leading. A blessing in a pianist—to know that wherever he went, she’d f
ollow.
As the song continued, she relaxed and her true talent shone. Smiles and nods of approval spread throughout the congregation. From the looks of things—he and Tori would be making beautiful music together for the Lord for a while to come.
* * *
Tori had managed to slip away from the Easter dinner at Jenna and Garrett’s. Though she’d felt welcome and known most of the people there from church, she had never been to a large family gathering. It had been overwhelming and she was tired.
Early April sunshine warmed her, daffodils nodded in the breeze, robins sang from the live oak trees. But all Tori wanted to do now was go to bed. She entered the guesthouse and made it no farther than the couch, not even sure she had the energy to make it to the bedroom at the moment.
At least Brant hadn’t been there. He’d gone to his own family gathering, so she hadn’t had to keep him at arm’s length all day.
She kicked her shoes off and lay down on the couch, reaching for the faux cowhide throw splayed over the back.
The doorbell rang.
Tori sat straight up, instantly alert.
No one could get past the gate without the password or clearance from the main house.
Yet Tori’s heart still clamored. Had Russ found her?
She stood and started for the door, then pressed herself against a wall. Silently, she tiptoed to the foyer, careful not to creak any floorboards or bump anything, and peered through the peephole.
Jenna. With another woman. She looked like Jenna’s cousin, Caitlyn—only older. Aunt Millie.
Tori undid the locks and swung the door open.
“Hey.” Jenna gave her a quick hug, ushered the older woman in and shut the door. “You know Natalie and Caitlyn’s Aunt Millie.”
“It’s nice to officially meet you.”
“You, too.” Millie smiled. “I saw you at lunch and I’ve seen you at church, but I’ve never gotten the chance to speak to you other than in passing.” Aunt Millie fidgeted. “I told Jenna we should call first. Maybe I should wait in the car.”
“No.” Jenna grabbed Millie’s arm. “I want you to talk to Tori.”
“About what?” The adrenalin over an unexpected guest drained away and once again all Tori wanted was her bed.
“Have you thought about pressing charges against Russ?”
Tori trembled. Did Millie really need to hear this? “To be honest. No. Maybe if I leave things as is, he’ll leave me alone. If I press charges, he’ll want revenge.”
“I’d like you to talk to Millie.”
Tori searched her memory. “Are you a shrink or something?”
“Heavens no.” Millie smiled but it soon slid from her mouth. “I lived with an abusive husband for several years. Jenna thinks hearing my story might help you.”
“I don’t see how.”
“Just humor me.” Jenna clasped her hands as if in prayer.
“I told Jenna we should call and set this up. We can talk another time.”
Tori knew Jenna well enough to know—she might as well do it and get it over with. “Now is fine.”
“Great.” Jenna shot her a triumphant smile. “I’ll go on to the house and let y’all talk. And I really appreciate you doing this, Millie.”
“No problem. I hope it helps.” Millie’s gaze caught Tori’s.
The door shut behind Jenna and Tori tried not to squirm.
“I can see Jenna’s decorating touch here. A bit rustic, but the creamy walls and drapery are all Jenna.”
“It’s amazing how much you look like Caitlyn.”
“So I’ve been told.”
“So tell me again, why aren’t you Jenna’s aunt, too?” Tori already knew, but she was desperate to avoid the coming conversation.
“Natalie and Caitlyn’s mother is my sister. Jenna is related to my nieces on her dad’s side.”
“Oh.” It didn’t happen often, but Tori didn’t know what to say. Smack dab out of small talk and she did not want to have this discussion.
“I hear you have a problem with a man in your life.”
“That’s a delicate way to put it.” Tori hugged herself. “Please, sit down. Would you like some sweet tea? Water?”
“No thank you.” Millie settled on the white leather sofa. “He’s in jail?”
“Yes. And in case he manages to come up with bail, Jenna helped me get a restraining order against him.” Tori chose her favorite wingback and stared at the taxidermied longhorn head over the Austin Stone fireplace. Totally not Jenna. But it fit Garrett.
“I met Stuart at the rodeo.” Millie’s hands shook and she clasped them in her lap. “I was sixteen, he was twenty-one. I knew my parents would have a cow about him, so I kept our romance secret.”
“You don’t have to tell me all of this.” Tori held her hands up as if warding off a blow. “I’ll let on to Jenna that we had a good talk without you having to spill your guts to a complete stranger.”
“It’s okay. I’ve been sharing my story at battered women’s shelters, hoping it can help someone else.” Millie tucked her hair behind her ear. “Stuart was really sweet at first, but the more I saw him, he became jealous and controlling. By the time he actually hit me, I was already afraid to break up with him.”
The story of Tori’s life with Russ. Of her mom’s story with Tori’s dad. She clutched a cowhide throw pillow against her stomach.
“He wanted me to run away with him and all I wanted to do was run away from him. But the slapping about turned into full-out beatings and I found myself doing whatever he wanted, whatever I could to placate him so he wouldn’t hurt me.” Millie’s gaze dropped to her hands.
“But it didn’t matter. No matter how easygoing I was, he beat me. He’d go off without warning, yet he was always careful not leave any marks I couldn’t cover up with clothing. He threatened to harm my family if I didn’t run away with him, and I didn’t see any other choice, so I went with him.”
If Caitlyn and Natalie’s family was a reflection of Millie’s family, she’d had a strong unit. People she could turn to, but she hadn’t. Just like Tori’s mom hadn’t turned to Aunt Loretta. And Tori hadn’t turned to her aunt. Or Jenna.
“I didn’t want to bring a child into such a violent situation, so I managed to sneak off and get birth control.” Millie’s voice trembled. “But a few years later, he found the pills and...well that time, I ended up in the hospital.”
“The doctor—the nurses—they had to have known what happened to you.”
“They did.” Millie nodded, her gaze never leaving the floor. “But I was afraid he’d go after my parents or my sister. I told them I fell off a ladder. Our son was born a year later and thank goodness Stuart never turned on Trent.
“But as Trent got older, I knew it wasn’t a good thing for him to see his mother get beat up all the time. Neighbors called the police on several occasions, but I said I fell down the stairs or ran into the cabinet or tripped over a toy.”
The same stories Tori’s mom had told. “My dad wasn’t home much—but when he was—he beat my mom. She always denied he’d done it and swore me to secrecy.”
“And it scarred you. That’s probably how you got mixed up with an abusive boyfriend. It becomes a way of life.” Millie’s gaze met Tori’s. “But I didn’t want that for Trent. I tried to take him and leave twice. But each time, Stuart found us. And each time, the beating was worse. Finally, I decided that if I left—without Trent...”
A sob escaped Millie and Tori handed her a tissue box. “I thought if I left, he wouldn’t come after me as long as he had Trent and the violence would stop. And it worked, I got away.
“I’d learned how to make fake ID’s from him and started over in a different state.” Millie dabbed her eyes. “But I never forgot my son. I subscribed to the paper he
re and watched the obituaries—hoping to see Stuart’s so I could come home.
“I finally got my wish—there it was—Stuart’s obituary.” Millie’s chin trembled and she held a crumpled tissue to her mouth. “I came home and contacted my family. I found my son. But he hated me because after I left, Stuart took his frustrations out on Trent. He even put him in the hospital once.”
Tori closed her eyes.
“Trent testified against him, but by then he was eighteen and Stuart only got a year in jail.” Millie straightened her shoulders. “After he got out, he saw Caitlyn at the rodeo. I don’t know if it was the alcohol or what, but by then I guess his brain wasn’t firing right. He thought Caitlyn was me and he started writing her these creepy, threatening letters.”
“Like a stalker?”
“Yes, but he didn’t stop there. She was leaving her store one night and he attacked her.” Millie dabbed her eyes. “With a knife—stabbed her twice. But she managed to get away.”
“I remember hearing about an attack a few years ago, but I never knew it was Caitlyn.” A chill ran up Tori’s spine. “Jenna never let on. I remember her being jumpy, but I thought it was because of an attack so close to home.”
“Very close to home.”
“So what happened with Stuart?”
“Caitlyn went into protective custody. Texas Rangers lured Stuart out of hiding, but he got away. When they caught up with him again, he killed himself.”
“And you got to come home to your son.”
“We’ve spent the last few years rebuilding our relationship.” Millie sniffled. “It was hard. Trent had a lot to forgive me for and I had to forgive myself. I’m still working on that, but we’re getting there. And I became a Christian last year, so that’s helped with the forgiveness part.”
“I guess Jenna wanted you to tell me all of this in hopes of convincing me to press charges.” But hearing Millie’s story only frightened her more.
“You should press charges, Tori.”
“But even if I do, he’ll get out.” Tori shook her head. “Way too quick. Like Stuart. Trent pressed charges and Stuart was out a year later to wreak havoc on Caitlyn.”
Rodeo Family Page 5
