“No.” Her voice sounded nasally with her nose closed off. “I just wasn’t expecting it. Only good-smelling food makes me sick. Manure takes getting used to.”
“Have you never been to the rodeo?”
“No.”
“Well, I’m honored to expose you. Are you gonna walk around like that all night?”
She removed her fingers from her nose, but held her breath. Squeezing her eyes closed, she inhaled.
“You get used to it. I don’t even smell it anymore.”
“Or it burns all your sinus passages out, so you can’t smell anything anymore.”
They rounded the arena, past the bull chutes where he saw a gathering of familiar women. “Jenna and Garrett probably won’t be here. He thinks he’ll sidetrack people away from me, but he does that without even being here.”
“It’s not you. He’s just...”
“Garrett Steele. Trust me, I know.”
“Maybe if you’d stayed in Nashville longer than a year, you’d be Brant McConnell.”
“You think?”
“Well, you’re a great singer. And you’re um...not hard to look at.”
“Really?”
A pretty blush tinted her cheeks.
“Sometimes, I’m glad I didn’t catch my break in Nashville.” Like now.
“Why?”
“I look at Garrett. He has to sneak around everywhere and be smuggled in and out. He can’t go wherever he pleases. And the press is always after him.” He was just gonna say it. “And I might never have met you.”
She rolled her eyes. “No big loss there.”
“You’re wrong, Tori.”
“Brant, here’s the star of our show.” Natalie, publicist extraordinaire, linked her arm through Brant’s. “We’re expecting a big crowd tonight. I can feel it.”
“I hope so. You know Tori. Don’t you?”
“Sure. Hey, Tori. I’ve been hearing good things about you from Jenna.”
“It’s about time, I guess.”
“This is my friend, Kendra.” She gestured to a brunette. “Her husband, Stetson, is the bullfighter you’ll see in action with my pickup man, Lane.”
Bullfighter—it always made Brant think of a matador instead of what they called rodeo clowns these days.
“Remind me of what a pickup man is.” Tori shifted in the metal chair, her shoulder brushed his, sending his heart into overdrive.
“They do for the bronc riders what the bullfighters do for the bull riders. Those cool guys who swoop in on horseback and rescue the cowboy from the bronc’s back after the buzzer or if the rider gets in trouble.” Natalie gestured to a blond. “And this is Lacie. Her husband, Quinn, is announcing tonight. Caitlyn’s still queen for a little longer, so she won’t be able to sit with us.”
“Caitlyn’s quitting?”
“She gave her notice.” Natalie bit her lip. “She’s pregnant.”
Something passed over Tori’s expression, but it was gone so quick, Natalie didn’t seem to notice.
She caught Brant’s glance. “Don’t you need to go get your food?”
“I’ve got time. I’d just as soon sit here with all these good-looking ladies for a bit.”
“Married ladies.” Kendra laughed.
“Being married makes you off-limits, but it doesn’t mean you quit being good-looking.”
“I like this guy.” Kendra winked at Tori. “You should go for him, Tori.”
“You could join our rodeo family.” Natalie elbowed her.
Tori’s face went from pink to crimson.
Even other people could see how perfect they were for each other.
But Tori wasn’t interested. She was determined to avoid musicians and be a single mom.
It was probably a good thing that their relationship would never develop into more. No, he wouldn’t be like her dad or the other musicians she’d known. But if he got his big break, he wouldn’t be hanging his hat in Aubrey for long anyway.
So, why couldn’t he leave her alone?
* * *
The spotlight shone on Brant in the center of the arena and his gravelly voice tugged at Tori. The love song’s pure, sweet words sung by him ought to bring women to the rodeo in droves.
Why did he have to be so devastatingly handsome, so charming, so gentle? Why did he have to be a musician? Why did her world have to be so complicated?
The baby fluttered in her stomach again, like moth wings inside her. How could she contemplate giving her baby away as she felt the movement? But she had to keep the baby safe.
As his second song ended, Natalie stood and headed toward the back lobby. Minutes later, Brant strode toward them from the bull chutes and reclaimed his seat beside Tori. Great. She’d been more comfortable with him gone.
He leaned close and cupped his hands around Tori’s ear. “I know you don’t know Nat very well, but could you go make sure she’s okay? She was crying. Bull riding is starting and I know Kendra doesn’t like to miss Stetson in action.”
“Sure.” Great, she knew Nat through Jenna. They’d never had a conversation that didn’t include Jenna. They’d never been in the same room without Jenna.
How could she help?
Natalie probably wouldn’t even talk to her.
“Where did she go?” Tori asked.
“To Caitlyn’s dressing room. I’ll show you.” Brant stood and she followed.
Past the bull chutes, to the back lobby and a row of doors.
“That one.” Brant pointed. “I’ll leave y’all alone, but let me know if she needs anything. I can get Lane, get her a ride home—whatever she needs.”
Tori cleared her throat and knocked on the dressing room door. “Natalie, it’s Tori. Brant wanted me to check on you. Are you all right?”
The door opened. Natalie grabbed her arm and pulled her inside, then shut the door. “Great, the whole place knows I’m bawling.”
“Brant’s worried about you, but I’m the only one he told. I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’d like to help if I can. And Brant said to let him know if you need anything. Should he get Lane or do you need a ride home maybe?”
“How about a baby?” Natalie paced the room. “Can you give me a baby?”
Chapter 9
Tori’s heart stilled in her chest. “A baby? I don’t understand.”
Natalie’s heels clicked across the floor—back and forth. “Back before I was a Christian, I slept around all over the place. And the one time I forgot to use protection, I got pregnant with Hannah. I wasn’t ready to be a mom then and I gave her to her father.”
Natalie sank into a chair. “But I’m different now. I’ve done everything I know to do to make it up to Hannah. We have a great relationship now. And Lane is a wonderful Christian husband. We’ve been trying to have a baby for months. Much longer than Caitlyn and Mitch have even been married. But she’s pregnant and I’m not.”
“And you have to be happy for her.”
“She’s my sister and I love her. I am happy for her.” Natalie’s voice broke. “Just not for me.”
Unsure of what to do, Tori put a hand on her shoulder. “Sometimes these things take time.” It sounded lame even to her own ears.
“It didn’t with Hannah.” Natalie blew out a big sigh.
“I don’t mean to be insensitive.” Tori swallowed hard. “But have you thought about adopting?”
“That’s what Lane said. He says we’re in no rush, but if nothing happens after a few years, we can adopt.”
But Tori didn’t have a few years. She needed a mother for her baby in about four-and-a-half months. “There are lots of babies who need good homes.”
“Adoption kind of scares me.” Natalie shook her head. “Kend
ra and Stetson adopted their daughter. And her biological family has come out of the woodwork ever since. Kendra spent months worrying someone would file for custody.”
“And?”
“No one did.”
“Does Kendra regret adopting?”
“No.”
“It’s complicated, but it turned out okay.”
“Yes.” Natalie shrugged. “But on top of that, Hannah isn’t Lane’s. I wish she was—but she’s not. You’d never know it from the way he loves her, but I’d like to reward him for loving us both so much by giving him his own child.”
“I can understand that. But it’s obvious he can love someone else’s child, so I just thought...”
“Thanks for checking on me.” Natalie swiped underneath her eyes with her thumbs and checked the mirror. “Sorry for dumping everything on you, but I can’t really share this with Caitlyn or Jenna. I can’t let them know Caitlyn’s pregnancy upset me. I won’t take an iota of their happiness away by making them worry about me.”
“Not a word from me.”
“Thanks.” Natalie stood. “By the way, I wish my statement had helped your case.”
Tori’s brain spun. “What statement?”
“Back when I was in my barhopping mode, this guy got a little rough with me. Mitch was on a stakeout and rescued me, so when Mitch made that arrest at Jenna’s store, he recognized him.”
Tori shuddered.
“Mitch asked me to file a report to show a pattern of violence. But the judge ruled it inadmissible.”
“Thanks for trying.”
“Now, I need to get myself together—pull myself out of this pity party and go watch my husband save some cowboys. Tell Brant I’m fine and I’ll be out in a bit.”
“Sure.” Tori hurried out of the dressing room. So she wasn’t the first woman Russ had gotten rough with. She wouldn’t be the last. And her baby would never be safe.
She had four-and-a-half months to convince Natalie she had the perfect solution. For both of them.
* * *
The lunch lull had hit the store. Crazy busy for a Monday. Tori straightened items on shelves and whisked the feather duster over the lamps and sculptures. Brant’s gravelly voice played through her mind—singing a Country song she couldn’t get out of her head. Along with Natalie’s tear-streaked cheeks.
“How was the rodeo?” Jenna’s question shook Tori from her reverie.
“Good. Very exciting actually.”
“The Brant part? Or the rodeo event part?”
Actually, the Natalie part. “Brant has a great voice and it was weird hearing him sing Country love songs when I’m used to him singing hymns. But I actually meant the bronc and bull riding. I never knew how exciting those events were.” Tori shrugged. “It was kind of fun.”
“I love Brant’s voice. While Garrett’s is the perfect smooth baritone, Brant has that rough quality and it comes out more when he sings country music.”
Tori rolled her eyes and made a great show of carefully dusting a lamp with a leather shade and stitching. “I’m not interested in Brant.”
“Why? He’s such a great guy. And you could use a great guy about now.”
“After Russ, I swore off musicians and besides, I’m pregnant, Jenna. With Russ’s baby.”
“I didn’t know Russ was a musician.”
“Not a very good one.” If she spent any more time on the lamp, Jenna would be onto her. She turned to the bronze statues she’d already dusted. “The play-guitar-in-a-bar-with-no-future-prospects kind.”
“Oh. Well, I have it on good authority that Brant is the kind of musician who’d raise another man’s child as his own.”
“He’s nice. But I don’t know if he’s that nice. And even if I were interested, asking him or any other man to take on Russ’s child wouldn’t be fair to them.”
“You should let Brant make that call.” Jenna rearranged a display of seashells and driftwood candleholders from her new beachy collection.
“We’re friends—that’s all. And I told him I’ve sworn off musicians.”
“Why would you tell him that?”
“Because I don’t want him getting any ideas.”
“Then why did you go to the rodeo with him?”
Tori sighed. “Because he gave me some song and dance about how attendance has been down since Garrett left.”
“It’s true. And I feel bad for him. Garrett’s a tough act to follow.”
“I imagine he knew that going in.” Subject change in order. “So when do you and Garrett leave for his tour?”
“Actually.” Jenna shrugged. “Garrett left after Russ’s trial.”
Tori shot her the look. “Weren’t you supposed to go with him?”
“With Russ...and everything else going on, I didn’t feel like it was a good time for me to leave.”
“Oh, Jenna.” Tori squeezed her eyes shut. “I can’t believe you stayed here to babysit me.”
“It’s fine. Garrett will only be gone two months. I’ll fly out and visit a couple of times. And it’s not only you I feel the need to babysit. Caitlyn just found out she’s pregnant.”
The perfect opportunity to broach the subject. “Yeah, Natalie told me at the rodeo.”
“Did she seem okay about it?” Jenna plopped on the stool by the register.
“She seemed fine.” Tori crossed her fingers behind her back. Were Christians supposed to tell little white lies? “She did tell me she and Lane have been trying to get pregnant, but nothing’s happened.”
“Really. I’m surprised she shared that. I told her it hasn’t been that long—to relax and be patient.”
“Do you think she and Lane would adopt my baby?”
Jenna’s jaw dropped. “You’re thinking about giving your baby up?”
“I can’t—” Tori blew out a big breath “—keep the baby. Not with Russ lurking around.”
“Russ is in prison.”
“True, but you’re uneasy enough about how long he’ll stay there, that you ditched touring with Garrett.” Tori hugged herself. “I’ll never be free of Russ once he finds out about the baby. And I can’t subject any child to that.”
“Maybe he’ll be the kind of man who walks away.”
“No. Russ is all about control. The baby gives him control.” The baby moved and Tori pressed a hand to her side. “The baby’s moving.”
Jenna’s gaze met hers. “Can I feel?”
“Sure.” Tori guided Jenna’s hand to the movement.
“I felt Caitlyn’s baby yesterday.” Jenna rubbed her hand in a circular motion and the fluttering inside Tori increased. “No movement yet, but I always thought a pregnant belly would be all soft and squishy like fat. But it’s hard as a rock.”
A huge knot cut off anything Tori could think of to say. Her vision blurred.
“So you’ve given this a lot of thought? It’s a big decision. Not something you go into lightly.”
“I’ve prayed about it.” Tori bit her quivering lip. “The only way to keep the baby safe is to give him or her up.”
“And you think you can do that?”
“If I find the right parents, I’ll know it’s for the best.”
“If I get Nat on board.” Jenna pulled her hand away. “You cannot change your mind.”
“I know. Nat told me about Kendra’s drama.”
Jenna’s eyes squeezed shut. “You talked to Nat about adopting your baby?”
“No. I brought up adoption, but I didn’t tell her I’m pregnant.”
“Can I tell her you’re pregnant?”
“It’s getting pretty obvious. She may suspect. But tell her to keep it quiet.”
“Or course.” Jenna sucked in a deep breath. “Let me handle this. It
’s a touchy subject, but I’ll feel her out.”
“Thanks.” Tori pressed her hand to the slight bump where her stomach used to be flat. As slender and lean as she was, clothing wouldn’t camouflage much longer.
Could she give her baby up? Her thoughts went to Russ. His anger, his possessiveness, his brutality. She shivered. There was no could to it.
She had to. She had to give her baby up. She had to stop thinking of the baby as hers.
The baby. For whatever reason, God had entrusted her with this child. She had to do right by the baby.
* * *
Tired to the bone and all she’d done was play piano at church this morning. The congregation had unanimously voted her in as pianist at the close of the service. The show of acceptance and love had relaxed her taught nerves.
But simply accepting all the hugs and handshakes as she stood in the church lobby with Brother Thomas and Brant exhausted her.
The doctor had warned Tori she’d be excessively tired and he obviously knew what he was talking about. How could the tiny bean-shaped spot she’d seen on the ultrasound screen make her so tired?
But the baby wasn’t tiny anymore. The doctor had insisted on an ultrasound this month because of the beating and her stress level, but she’d refused to look at the screen. Seeing it would make her want to keep the baby.
The baby. Not her baby. She’d do whatever she had to to protect the baby.
“You’re doing great, Tori.” The pastor patted her shoulder.
“Thanks.”
“You have a gift.” Brant caught her gaze and try as she might she couldn’t pull herself away from those jade eyes. “The best pianists follow the director and cover his flubs. You’re a natural.”
“Thanks.” Move feet. “But I didn’t hear any flubs.”
“Cuz you covered ’em for me.” He shot her a knee-dissolving grin. “Hey, my sister and nephew are meeting me for lunch at Moms on Main. Care to join us?”
“Um. That sounds nice, but I think I’ll go home. I’m tired—maybe a nap between services.”
“You look tired.”
“Thanks a lot.”
“No, I mean, you look great. Just tired.”
Rodeo Family Page 9
