Absolutely amazing.
But I couldn’t help feeling used and hurt after everything we’d said. I’d thought about canceling our date, but I didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to be with Shelly, no matter how hard it was.
“Are you gonna play, or are sit there and stare at the wall all night?” TJ asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.
We were hanging out at Scott’s house. Me, Scott, TJ, and Craig. We’d thought we could all use a guy’s night, so we’d gathered here on a Friday night to play Euchre and talk sports.
Of course, no matter how much we said we were going to just talk sports, the conversation always made its way back to women.
“So, even though you screwed up royally, you still managed to get back in to Shelly’s pants … again,” TJ said with a grin. “I swear, you’re the luckiest son of a bitch I know.”
“Shut the fuck up, TJ,” I replied with a scowl.
“I can’t believe you were such an asshole.” This came from my little brother, who drank from his beer and looked at me, his face full of anger.
I’d finally told him what was going on with me and Shelly, and he’d been just as pissed off as I’d thought he’d be. He’d loved Shelly from the moment I brought her home, and I knew he’d hate me for betraying her the way I did. When it came down to a choice between me and Shelly, I had a feeling my brother would pick Shelly every time. Especially, when the issue was one hundred percent my fault.
“Give him a break, Craig,” Scott said, coming to my defense. Whereas my own brother would side with my wife, I knew Scott would defend me no matter what. “He told you how the shit went down. He didn’t set out to hurt Shelly and fuck up his marriage, it was all a horrible mistake. He’s been paying the price for the past seven weeks, and he’s trying his best to make it up to her. He doesn’t need your shit, so either put your man pants on, or put down that beer and I’ll get you a glass of milk.”
Craig blinked a few times, shocked at Scott’s heated defense of me and the situation, because although we’d been living through this for the past few weeks, he’d only just learned about it today. I felt sorry for my brother. He was young and quick to judge, but I knew he was only reacting out of love for my wife. I couldn’t blame him for that.
“It’s alright, bro,” I said to Scott. “I get where he’s coming from.”
“Are we gonna play cards or what?” TJ asked, trying to break the tension. “If you want to talk about pussy, I can tell you all a tale about a couple of besties I met at the bar the other night ... Talk about a wild night.”
TJ chuckled at the look of shock on Craig’s face, and I had to laugh at my friend. He sure knew how to change the subject and keep people on their toes.
“You’re an idiot,” Scott said with a grimace as he shuffled the cards. “You’re gonna end up with every disease in the book.”
“I’d rather have my dick fall off than be led around the balls by some chick,” TJ countered.
Scott shook his head and said, “About that … I’ve been having doubts.”
“Doubts?” I asked, sharing a look with TJ before focusing back on Scott. “About Victoria?”
“Yeah,” Scott said, putting the cards back on the table. He ran his hand over his face, before turning his bleak eyes on me. “I don’t know if I can do it … Marry her.”
I tried to keep my voice calm and not express the exhilaration I felt at his words. I’d been waiting for him to realize what a fucking nightmare Victoria was since I met her. When he’d asked her to marry him, I’d thought all hope was lost.
“Did something happen?”
“Not anything specific, it’s just … everything. I don’t know if I can live with her for the rest of my life. I don’t know if I’m in love with her anymore.” Scott looked conflicted, and as much as I hated to think of him hurting now, I knew he would be miserable in the long run if he married her. “She’s been kind of crazy since we started this whole wedding thing, and I’ve been starting to think … Maybe I don’t ever want to get married. I like my place. I like my job. I like making decisions based on what I want, and not having to worry about anyone else’s feelings.”
“I hear that,” TJ said as he took a pull of his beer.
“Being married is great, Scott, if you marry the right woman,” I said, not wanting him to give up on marriage, but not trying to talk him into marrying Victoria either. “But I do agree that marriage to Victoria would be a mistake … for you. I want you to be happy, and I don’t think she’s the woman to do it.”
Scott hung his head in his hands and said, “Not all women are like Shelly, Cal … You’re the luckiest fucker on the planet. And to share what the two of you have … that’s very rare. I don’t think I’ll ever find someone like that, and I know that I’ll never have that with Victoria. She’s too much like my mother.”
“It’s about time you fucking realized that,” TJ said. “I didn’t think you were ever going to see it. I seriously didn’t know if I could even come to your wedding. I love you too much to see you tied down to a bitch like that.”
Scott looked between TJ and me, while Craig just took everything in silently.
“How long have you both felt this way?” He asked.
“Since you introduced us to her,” I admitted.
TJ nodded in concurrence.
“Why the fuck didn’t you ever say anything?” Scott asked. “I mean, I knew you all didn’t necessarily get along like we do with the girls, but I figured that’s just because you didn’t know her well enough.”
“I think we knew her well enough to see that she wasn’t a good fit for you, and that you would end up in a marriage like your parents’,” I replied. “We didn’t say anything because you loved her. You proposed to her. If we tried to talk you out of it, or told you how we really felt about her, we worried that you would chose her … That we’d lose you.”
I felt like such a girl saying that out loud, but it was true. I’d rather live the rest of my life with Victoria in it than without Scott, and I knew TJ felt the same way.
“We love you, bro, and we just want you to be happy. We’ll support you no matter what,” TJ added.
“I get it … and thanks,” Scott responded. “But next time … tell me the truth before I ruin my fucking life.”
I chuckled and slapped Scott on the back, “Will do, brother.”
“Are we gonna play cards now, or continue to sit around like a bunch of girls and talk about our feelings?” TJ asked with a grin, and I knew he was just as relieved as I was that Scott had come to his senses before it was too late.
Chapter 32 – Shelly
I checked the clock on my phone as I rushed through the grocery store. I was running late. It had been a horrendous day from the get-go, and I’d been called in to work to deal with some issues they’d had with my subordinate’s loan paperwork. Now I was rushing to pick up the items on my shopping list so I could get home before Cal came to pick me up for our date. I could’ve just gone straight home and came back to the grocery store in the morning, but coffee was one of the items on my list, and there was no way I could start my day without it. When we were living together, Cal had always made sure I had a cupboard stocked with coffee, filters, and the French vanilla creamer that I liked.
I found that I missed the little things like that that Cal used to do for me, like keeping my coffee stocked, and filling up my tank. Things I never really noticed … until they were gone.
As I half walked/half jogged toward the dairy aisle, I was taken off-guard when Melody Cannon stepped out in front of me, almost causing me to barrel her down in the middle of the store.
“Hey, Shelly,” Melody said slowly, her voice laced with something that sounded like a cross between derision and pity.
It put my defenses up immediately.
“Hey, Melody,” I replied. “I’m kind of in a hurry.” I tried to walk past her, but she stepped in front of me, blocking my path.
“Oh? Got a hot date?” Melody ask
ed. “Someone from the office perhaps?”
I narrowed my eyes at her and thought back to Carlos asking me out. But, there was no way she could know about that, and it made me wonder why she was asking.
“What’s it to you?” I asked her somewhat snarkily. I’d never liked Melody, and I certainly didn’t want her in my business.
“Nothing,” she responded with a saccharine smile. She twirled a lock of hair around her finger and looked at me innocently. “Just wanted to check in and make sure you were doing okay. What with Cal cheating on you, and your pending divorce … I’m just worried about you is all. I wanted to make sure that you’re coping okay, and … you know, getting back on the horse so to speak.”
I wanted to slap the gum out of her mouth.
“Don’t worry about me, Melody,” I said with a grimace. “And don’t believe everything you hear either. In fact, I’m meeting Cal in a few minutes, that’s why I’m in such a hurry. See ya.”
I stayed long enough to see the sweet look she’d held dissolve into the more apt look of jealousy. She’d always been jealous where Sasha, Gaby, and I’d been concerned.
Forgetting her as soon as I walked away, I hurried off to finish my shopping.
I pulled up next to Cal’s Mustang in the driveway and grabbed my bags out of the car.
“Sorry I’m late,” I said quickly as I rushed around the car when he got out of his. “I’ll only be a minute.”
“No problem,” Cal answered. “I just got here myself.”
I left the door open and ran to the kitchen, putting things away quickly. Cal walked in as I was putting the coffee in the cupboard and I said, “Make yourself comfortable, I’ll just be a minute.”
I ran back to my room and into the bathroom to freshen up. As I put on deodorant and got out my toothbrush, I hoped that things between Cal and I wouldn’t be awkward tonight. I knew I hurt him last Saturday when I wouldn’t let him stay … Again.
And I knew he felt like I had used him for sex … twice, and I guess I had. But I also knew that if I chose to walk away at the end of all of this, Cal would be hurt that much more if I let him get too close, and as much as he’d hurt me by sleeping with that stupid bimbo in Vegas, I didn’t have it in me to hurt him anymore.
We’d already been through enough.
Tonight I was going to go on this date, and I WAS NOT going to have sex with Cal. No matter how badly I wanted to. I had a lot to think about over the next week, and I didn’t want to confuse things any more than they were.
I wanted to have a nice time tonight, relax, and not think about what lay ahead.
I gave myself one last look over in the mirror, then headed out to where Cal was waiting. He was leaning up against the counter, looking at his phone, when I walked in.
“Ready?” I asked.
“Ready,” he answered, pushing back up off of the counter.
We drove in silence, and I thought over everything that had happened in the last eight weeks. It was pretty overwhelming. There had been tons of emotions, some good, most bad, and it seemed like a lifetime had passed since he’d come home from Vegas. That night, I never would have believed that we’d be where we are now. I was so certain that I would never be able to forgive what Cal had done, not only to me, but to our marriage. Yet, here we were, on date number seven, and the choice was not as easy as it had once seemed.
When the car stopped moving, I looked around, confused. I had been so caught up in my own thoughts that I hadn’t been paying attention to where we were going. I looked around the parking garage for clues, but it looked like any parking garage in the city.
“Where are we?” I asked as he took the key out of the ignition.
“The observatory,” Cal responded.
The observatory.
Cal had brought me here during our senior year of high school. We’d watched in silence as the different constellations were pointed out, and I’d been amazed at the vastness of the universe. It had been a magical night, and afterwards, rather than going home, we’d went and parked at a nearby lake. Cal had brought along a blanket and we’d spread it out on the grass by the water, and looked up at the stars, trying to find the constellations on our own. We’d lost our virginity to each other that night. Under the stars, on that black-and-red blanket.
His expression was blank as we got out of the car, but I knew he had to be remembering that night. It was one of the best nights of my life, and I was sure that him bringing me here on our seventh date was no accident. He wanted me to remember our history, and the love that we shared.
We walked to the entrance, but Cal stopped before we could walk inside.
“Let’s just enjoy the night,” he began. “I don’t want to talk about last Saturday, or what you’re going to decide after next week. Let’s just look at the stars and enjoy being together … Is that okay with you?”
I nodded with a smile. “That sounds perfect.”
And that was what we did.
We walked around, looking in telescopes and listening to experts talk about what we were seeing. We stopped in an open viewing area and sat, looking up and holding hands. It was a peaceful and magical evening.
There was no pressure, and no angst. We allowed ourselves to enjoy each other’s company, learn a bit, and remember simpler times.
It was a perfect night.
And when he took me back to my house, Cal leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips, then stayed in his car until I let myself inside my house, before driving off into the night.
Chapter 33 – Cal
I wiped my hands on my pants, my nerves causing my hands to sweat and my stomach to churn as I stood waiting on Shelly’s father’s stoop. I hadn’t seen or talked to him since Shelly had moved out of our house and into his, and probably a few weeks before that. I knew he likely wasn’t going to be too receptive to my being here, considering the fact that Shelly left me because I cheated on her, but I felt like I had to meet with him and assure him that I loved his daughter.
When the door opened, I looked up nervously and met Shelly’s father’s curious gaze. He opened the screen door and said, “Cal.”
“Hey, Dad…err, Chuck,” I amended, no longer sure I had the right to call him Dad. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Yeah, come on in.” He stood off to the side to allow me to pass. When I did he said, “And, son, you can always call me Dad.”
And just like that, my fear turned to relief.
I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, waiting for him to sit in his chair before looking him in the eye.
Shelly’s father and I had always had an amazing relationship; well, once we got over the initial dating phase and he realized that I truly loved his daughter. Being a single father, he was understandably protective of Shelly, and I’d always respected the job he’d done raising her on his own.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been by to see you before now,” I began, wringing my hands in my lap as I tried to work through everything I wanted to say to the man who’d been like a second father to me. “At first I was too ashamed, and then I was simply too embarrassed. I betrayed Shelly, but I also let you and my family down, and I’m truly sorry for that. I know you expected more of me… To treat your daughter with dignity and respect, and I failed at that, but I promise you it was never my intent. I love Shelly, I always will, and I’ve been doing everything I can to try and convince her of that.”
Chuck settled back into his chair and looked at me thoughtfully.
“I’ll admit when Shelly first came home that night, devastated, I wanted to string you up by your balls for what you’d done, but after she calmed down and explained things I settled down a bit. I still wanted to hurt you, but a little less maniacally. Once she told me that she wanted a divorce, but you convinced her to go on these dates with you, so you can prove her that you belong together, I realized that you were still the boy who loved my daughter implicitly.”
I nodded my agreement, eager for hi
m to understand that I was still that guy.
“I don’t know if you’ve convinced Shelly not to go through with the divorce; my girl can be stubborn when she sets her mind to things, but I do believe that you’re doing everything you can, and no matter the outcome, you can be confident that you have,” he paused and leaned forward, settling his arms on his knees. “When my Gina passed away, leaving me with a toddler and no experience in raising little girls, I didn’t know how I was going to manage. But, somehow, Shelly and I figured it out, and I couldn’t be prouder of the woman she’s become. You had a part in helping her grow into who she is today, and I’ll always be grateful to you for loving her the way you do, but, Cal, if she decides that she can’t forgive you and she wants that divorce, you’re going to have to let her go.”
I felt sick at the thought, and as much as didn’t want to believe that divorce was going to be Shelly’s final decision, I wasn’t a fool enough to realize it was a strong possibility.
“Yes, sir, I understand that, and as much as I’d hate to let her go, I will. I want her to be happy, and if she can’t be happy with me, I’ll walk away.”
Chuck nodded, his eyes sad.
“I never thought the two of you would be in this place, son, I have to admit… But everyone makes mistakes. It’s what we learn from them, and how we change, that determines the people that we become. You’ll be fine, Cal, no matter what happens.”
“Yes, sir,” I said as I stood, my nerves back in full force. “I’m not giving up yet though. I came here today, not just to apologize to you, but to let you know that for our last date, I plan to recreate my proposal to Shelly. I love her and, over the past few weeks, I’ve done everything I could to show her what our future could look like. Now I want her to know that I’m recommitting myself to her and this marriage, that she can trust me, and that I will spend the rest of my days proving it to her.”
Chuck stood and clapped his hand on my shoulder, leaving it there as he said, “That sounds perfect, son.”
I looked the older man in the eye and gave him my first real smile since I’d arrived.
8 Weeks Page 12
