by Linda Turner
“Tired but wonderful!” she said with an absolutely radiant grin.
Joining Gavin at the crib, Summer took one look at the baby and felt her heart melt. She was so tiny! “Oh, Rachel, she’s so beautiful! You and Jack must be thrilled.”
“It’s funny—she’s only three days old, but it seems like she’s always been a part of us. Did Jack tell you what we named her? Phoebe. That was my grandmother’s name. We wanted a family name.”
A family name for a beautiful child that made them a family. Watching the way they watched every breath the baby took, Summer found herself envying them the happiness they had found and wondering if they knew just how lucky they were. “She’s just beautiful,” she said again. “We didn’t even know you’d had her.”
Her smile fading, Rachel glanced at Gavin. “With everything that’s been going on, that’s perfectly understandable. I’m happy for you, Gavin. Audra Westwood has a lot to answer for.”
“Yes, she does,” he said grimly. “If Micky Culver hadn’t given her up, I think she would have actually stood by and let me be convicted without saying a word.”
It was a daunting thought. “Instead, she’s the one who’ll probably spend the rest of her life behind bars—with her mother.” Grimacing at the thought, Rachel deliberately changed the subject. “Since you didn’t know about Phoebe, then I imagine you’re here for Alyssa.”
When he nodded somberly, tears gathered in her eyes, but she quickly got herself under control. “I’m okay,” she said thickly when Gavin and her husband scowled and Summer stepped toward her in concern. “This is just an emotional time for me. I knew it would be difficult when the time came for me to give her up. But having Phoebe has taught me so much in just the short time we’ve had her. I loved her the second she was born and would have fought the devil himself to keep her from being taken from me.
“I don’t know how you stood being separated from Alyssa,” she told Gavin. “It must have been horrible.”
He didn’t deny it. “The only thing that made it halfway bearable was knowing that she was with family who loved her. But now that it’s over, I need her with me.”
Tears still flooding her eyes, Rachel reached blindly for her husband’s hand and held on to him tightly when he sat next to her and slipped his arm around her. “We wouldn’t have it any other way. The two of you belong together. I just hope you let us visit her once in a while.”
“Are you kidding?” Gavin said, “After everything you’ve done for her? You’re her aunt and uncle, and now she has a new cousin. Of course you can see her. You’re family,” he assured them.
And just that easily, peace was made and bridges mended. His daughter was his again.
Eight
In spite of Summer’s offer to pack Alyssa’s clothes, Rachel insisted on accompanying her upstairs and helping her. “We don’t need everything today,” Summer protested. “You should be taking it easy. Just show me where her pajamas and play clothes are, and we’ll come back in a couple of days to get the rest.”
Laughing, Rachel said, “I’m not an invalid, Summer. I just had a baby, and that was three days ago. I’m fine. Really. And I want to do this. Anyway,” she added as her smile faded, “I’m not sure bringing Alyssa back here that soon would be a good idea. We’ve gotten very attached to each other, and it just might confuse her.”
Summer hadn’t considered that. “Do you think she’s going to have trouble adjusting to living with me and Gavin?”
“I don’t know if I’d say trouble, exactly,” she said as she collected Alyssa’s favorite blanket and stuffed bear. “She loves Gavin dearly, but she’s never actually lived with him. That’s going to be an adjustment for all of you, and I just think it would be easier for her if Jack and I keep our distance until she gets weaned away from us and has a chance to bond with you and Gavin.”
“But I don’t know anything about babies except for caring for them when they’re sick. What if she doesn’t like me?”
“Are you kidding?” Rachel laughed. “Of course she’ll like you. At least you’ve dealt with kids in your practice. I had absolutely no experience when she came to live with us. I didn’t even know how to change her diaper! I made so many mistakes, it’s a wonder she didn’t end up hating me. But I learned, and so will you. Just relax and enjoy her. She needs a mother to love her, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that you can do that. She and Gavin are lucky to have you.”
If her marriage had been a real one, Summer would have appreciated Rachel’s vote of confidence more than she could say. But she and Gavin were living a farce, and considering how coolly he’d treated her all morning, she didn’t think that was ever going to change. Not that she wanted it to, she quickly assured herself. Last night had been a mistake. She had to believe that.
Still, guilt tugged at her. They were living a lie. Rachel and Jack and everyone else thought they were in love and committed to a future together, when nothing could have been further from the truth. In less than a year they would go their separate ways, and once again Alyssa would be motherless.
And that, more than anything, bothered Summer the most. When she and Gavin had decided to get married, she’d never stopped to think of what their arrangement might do to Alyssa. She’d assumed it would take a court battle for Gavin to regain custody. It should have taken months to settle everything, then Alyssa wouldn’t have had much time to get attached to her. Instead, there’d been neither a trial nor a custody battle, and nearly an entire year was left in their agreement.
Nothing was going as she’d expected and she didn’t know what to do about it, but that was something she could hardly discuss with Rachel. Forcing a smile, she said, “I feel like I need one of those books called Motherhood for Dummies. I’m so afraid I’m going to make a mistake and warp her for life.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Rachel chuckled. “And if you need some help, call me anytime. I mean that literally,” she added, grinning. “Phoebe’s still got her days and nights mixed up, so if you’re having a meltdown in the middle of the night, don’t hesitate to call. I’m sure I’ll be up.”
Laughing, they finished packing Alyssa’s things, then went back downstairs to join the men and children. Then, all too soon, it was time to leave. Putting on a bright smile, Rachel tried to act as if it was nothing out of the ordinary for Alyssa to leave with Gavin, but she couldn’t quite pull it off. Tears glistened in her eyes, and when she hugged the baby goodbye, she couldn’t bring herself to release her until Alyssa squirmed in protest.
“I’m sorry,” she said huskily, blinking back tears as Gavin took his daughter from her and settled her comfortably in his arms. “I know this is the best thing. It’s just harder than I expected. She’s so sweet. Take good care of her.”
There was no question in any of their minds that he would do exactly that, so there really was no further reason to linger and draw out the pain of leaving. While the women had been upstairs packing the baby’s clothes, the men had transferred her car seat from the family van to Gavin’s Chevy, so all they had to do was buckle Alyssa in and they were ready to go. Alyssa, not realizing the repercussions of what was happening, thought she was just going for a ride. Waving merrily as they drove off, she never saw her aunt Rachel turn into her husband’s arms and cry her eyes out.
Ever since he’d left Alyssa on Rachel’s doorstep right before he was arrested for Christina’s murder, Gavin had dreamed of the day when he could bring his daughter home where she belonged. He’d had her room decorated with all the things a little girl could want, from a crib with a canopy to a closetful of clothes and a toy box stuffed with the latest in educational toys. She should have loved it. And for all of two minutes she did. But then she lost interest and wanted to explore the rest of the house, which he hadn’t thought to make child-safe.
“Uh-oh, gotta move that,” Summer said, snatching up a vase in the family room when she set Alyssa down on the carpet and she went right for it. “I had no idea she c
ould move so fast.” Frowning, she eyed the glass-topped coffee table in front of the couch. “Maybe you should put that away for now, too.”
Gavin grabbed his daughter and, to her giggling delight, swung her up into his arms. “Whoa there, Half Pint! It looks like we’ve got some work to do before we can let you run wild. Stay here with Mama while I get your playpen and bring it downstairs.”
Handing her over to Summer, he hurried upstairs to Alyssa’s room, and Summer never saw him leave. Stay here with Mama. His words echoing in her ears, Summer stared down at the baby and couldn’t stop herself from gently holding her closer. Mama. An arrow pierced her heart just at the thought of anyone calling her that. She’d never had the chance to call anyone mama—and she’d never realized how much she’d missed that until just now. Just the thought of a sweet baby like Alyssa thinking of her as her mother brought the sting of tears to her eyes. Dear God, what had she gotten herself into?
That was a question she was to ask herself time and time again for the rest of the day. With Alyssa safely tucked away in her playpen, she and Gavin went about the business of making the house childproof. For two people who had very little experience with children, it wasn’t easy. Just when they thought they had locked away everything that could present a danger to her, they stumbled across an unlocked cabinet under the kitchen sink or a potted plant that was within easy reach of little hands. Worried, they went through the house again and again, until they were convinced they’d put childproof catches on every cabinet door and locked everything of danger away.
After that, they should have been able to relax. But by then, it had grown late, and Alyssa began to miss not only the only home she remembered, but Rachel, as well. Whining, she looked around for her aunt, and when she couldn’t find her, she started to cry.
Summer’s first instinct was to run to her to try to console her, but considering the circumstances of her and Gavin’s marriage, she thought it was best that Alyssa bond with Gavin. So she held back and let Gavin try to distract the baby.
For a few minutes he almost succeeded. He teased her with her stuffed teddy bear and made her laugh, but only for a moment. She quickly lost interest and started to pucker.
Her heart breaking for her, Summer might have found the strength to keep her distance, but then Alyssa turned to her and held out her arms. Just that easily, Summer’s good intentions crumbled. “What is it, sweetie?” she crooned, reaching for her. “Are you missing Aunt Rachel? You’ll get to see her again, I promise. You’ve just got to get used to staying here first.”
It was doubtful that the baby understood a word she said, but something in Summer’s tone must have reassured her. Popping her thumb into her mouth, she snuggled against Summer’s breast and within minutes she was asleep.
And with no more effort than that, she stole Summer’s heart.
Watching the two of them together, Gavin smiled ruefully. “Well, I guess I know where I stand.”
“Oh, but it’s nothing against you personally,” she said, startled. “She’s just always been taken care of by women, hasn’t she? First Lettie Brownbear, then Rachel, now me. You could bring Judge Judy in here, and she’d probably do the same thing.”
She gave herself no credit, but Gavin wasn’t buying it. He’d watched her all day with Alyssa and seen the way she’d tried to hold herself back, but she hadn’t been able to do it. Every time Alyssa had smiled at her, she’d just melted. She might try to convince herself that the baby would have responded the same to any other woman, but he knew his daughter, and she didn’t turn to just anyone for comfort.
“It’s okay, Summer,” he said gently. “It’s important for her to love us both. I don’t have a problem with her turning to you instead of me when she’s upset.”
“But you’re her father! And she doesn’t even know me.”
“But she’s already starting to trust you,” he pointed out. “And that’s what’s important.”
If Summer needed any proof of that, she got it when she carried the baby upstairs to her room to put her to bed for the night. Sound asleep, Alyssa still held tight to her, even in her sleep.
“What do I do?” she asked Gavin in a whisper as he adjusted the covers on the bed. “I’m afraid if I tug her loose, I’ll wake her up, and she’ll start crying for Rachel again.”
She had a point, Gavin acknowledged. It had broken his heart to see her so upset and confused, and the last thing he wanted to do was to wake her up again. Poor baby, she was hurting, missing Rachel, and he’d do whatever he could to help her feel safe and happy. “The two of you can have our bed for tonight, and I’ll sleep on the couch. Then I’ll see about getting a cot in here tomorrow. It could take her a while to adjust to living here. If she needs you to stay with her again, we’ll be prepared.”
Their night of passion at the inn wasn’t mentioned, but it was there between them as their eyes met, throbbing like an ache that wouldn’t go away. And although they’d both sworn it wasn’t going to happen again, Summer knew as well as Gavin that if the baby hadn’t been their main concern, the temptation of reaching for each other in the dark of the night would have been impossible to resist.
“I think that’s for the best,” she said huskily, cradling the sleeping Alyssa close against her heart. “So I guess I’ll see you in the morning. Good night.”
Stepping around him, she headed down the hall for the master bedroom and felt his eyes on her all the way. It wasn’t until she reached the bedroom and started to shut the door behind her, however, that she heard his quiet, “Good night.” She’d never heard a lonelier sound in her life.
Half expecting Alyssa to have a troubled night, Summer was pleasantly surprised when she slept all night. But any thought she had of sleeping in the next morning ended at dawn. Full of energy and raring to go, the baby was up with the sun and made sure everyone else was, too.
“Well, I guess you’re not a sleepyhead in the morning,” Summer said with a grin as she nuzzled her playfully after she’d changed her diaper. “C’mon, let’s go find Daddy, and he can watch you while I make breakfast.”
Scooping her up, Summer carried her downstairs, only to hesitate when she found Gavin still asleep on the couch in the den. Sprawled on his stomach, his hair standing on end and the quilt he’d used heaped on the floor, he looked as though he’d had an uncomfortable night on the too short couch.
“Uh-oh,” she whispered to the baby, “it looks like Daddy could use a few more hours’ sleep. Why don’t we just have some cereal until he wakes up?”
Still murmuring to her, she headed for the kitchen, but Alyssa had other ideas. Squirming to get down, she cried happily, “Dada!”
Gavin, used to working long shifts at the hospital and being on-call at all hours, woke with a start. Pushing up abruptly, he immediately spied Summer standing in the doorway with the baby. “What’s going on?” he growled in a gravelly voice.
“I’m sorry we woke you,” Summer said quietly. “Alyssa seems to be an early riser. I was going to make breakfast for her.”
Alyssa grinned happily at Gavin and chattered in a garbled baby language that, apparently, she fully expected the adults to understand. Laughing, Summer said, “I think she’s asking you if you’d like to join us.”
“I’d love to,” he chuckled, and had no idea how sexy he looked with his stubbled jaw and sleep-tousled hair. “Just give me five minutes to shave and change and I’ll be right there.”
She opened her mouth to tell him not to, only to realize that the last thing she needed was to sit across the breakfast table from him with him looking as if he’d just rolled out of bed. She’d never be able to eat a bite, let alone keep her head about her.
“Then I’ll put Little Bit in her high chair and start breakfast. Bacon and eggs okay for you? Good,” she said at his nod. “Rachel said Alyssa loves scrambled eggs, so that should make her happy.”
Alyssa was, in fact, happy as a clam at high tide when her father joined them a short while later
and the three of them sat down to breakfast. Summer didn’t fool herself into thinking that the baby had bonded with her or Gavin that quickly, but for now she seemed content. Seated between her and Gavin in her high chair, Alyssa hummed to herself as she ate and got her breakfast all over her. And that, according to what Rachel had told her, was a sure sign that she was enjoying what she was eating.
Laughing at her, Gavin was trying to wipe her hands when the phone rang. In the shattered quiet, he swore and almost ignored it. “It’s probably a reporter,” he said. “Someone must have been watching the house and realized we were back.”
“Or it could be Rachel checking to see how Alyssa got through the night,” she replied. “I’m sure she’s worried about her.”
They could have let the machine screen the call, but Gavin was afraid that Rachel would worry even more if he didn’t immediately answer the phone. Pushing away from the table, he strode over to the wall phone in the kitchen. “Hello?”
“Gavin? This is Michael Preston.”
Not surprised that his boss would call him now that his name had been cleared, he said coolly, “Hello, Michael. What can I do for you?”
“I just wanted to congratulate you. I heard the good news and was wondering when I could talk you into coming back to work.”
Still bitter about the way his colleagues had refused to work with him, Gavin couldn’t believe Michael’s gall. After the way he’d forced him to take a leave of absence for something Michael had known damn well he hadn’t done, he had a hell of a nerve.
“Really?” he drawled mockingly. “The last I heard, no one wanted to work with me.”
That clearly wasn’t the response he’d expected. Cold silence echoed across the phone line, and all too easily. Gavin could imagine the scowl on his boss’s face.
“Look,” Michael said with an impatient sigh, “I wasn’t any happier with the situation than you were, but my hands were tied. What was I supposed to do? Fire everyone and hire people who would be willing to work with you? Damn it, man, this is Whitehorn, not L.A. Good medical help is hard to come by.”
