by Linda Turner
Shocked, Gavin almost dropped his stethoscope. “You know about that?”
Janet laughed, truly amused. “I may be old, but I’m not stupid. I’ve known Summer all her life. She’d give her last dime to help somebody, but I’ve never known her to take chances with her heart. She wouldn’t fall in love and rush into marriage after dating someone for just a couple of weeks…unless she was trying to help them. And I don’t even think she would do that unless she felt a connection with that person that she’d never felt with anyone else.”
Her eyes dark with kindness, she reached for his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “I wouldn’t mislead you on this, Gavin. Your destiny is entwined with Summer’s and always has been. But sometimes, destiny isn’t enough. For the two of you to have a future together, you have to make a move. You have to let her know how you feel or you could lose her forever. And that would be a shame. You two were made for each other.”
She made it sound so simple. All he had to do was tell Summer how he felt—and lay his heart on the line. There’d been a time in the not too distant past when he would have flatly refused to take such a chance. No woman was worth risking that kind of rejection.
But that was before Summer had come into his life and changed everything. Before she’d taught him to love. Could he really let her go without saying a word just because he was afraid she might not love him back?
No.
Just that easily, the decision was made. Quickly repacking his medical bag, he impulsively hugged Janet. “You’re a wise woman, Janet Crow. Thanks for the advice. I’ve got to go.”
She grinned broadly as he hurried toward the door. “I knew you wouldn’t let any grass grow under your feet once you came to your senses. Hey,” she called after him when he strode toward the door. “What about my heart?”
“You’re strong as a horse,” he retorted with a chuckle. “Keep taking your pills and you’ll outlive us all.” Leaving her laughing, he rushed outside, his only thought to find his wife. They had to talk.
Twelve
It was one of those days when nothing seemed to go right. Alyssa woke up fussy, the kitchen sink stopped up, the phone never seemed to stop ringing. Summer had already quit her job at the hospital and had hoped to start packing, but one thing after another got in her way. She should, she supposed, have taken the baby to Lettie’s, but she had so little time left with her that she hadn’t been able to bring herself to do that. So the morning slipped away from her, and before she knew it, it was lunchtime. It had taken the entire morning to pack one box. And she was leaving in two days.
Frustrated, she pulled all of her things out of Gavin’s closet and told herself not to panic—she could do this. She just had to remain calm and organized. But Alyssa didn’t want the chicken tenders she made for her for lunch, the plumber arrived just as she finally convinced her to try some ravioli instead, and all the baby wanted to do then was get out of her high chair and crawl under the sink with the man and play. When she wasn’t allowed to do that, she didn’t hesitate to voice her displeasure.
The afternoon only went downhill from there.
By three o’clock, Summer was on the verge of pulling her hair out and having a screaming fit of her own when the phone rang again. At the end of her rope, she snatched it up and just dared the person on the other end of the line to be another telemarketer. “Hello?”
At her rough growl, the caller hesitated. “Summer? Is that you? This is Rachel. Is something wrong?”
Embarrassed, she wanted to sink right through the floor. “Oh, God, Rachel, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to bite your head off. It’s just been one of those days.”
Far from offended, she laughed softly. “I understand. Sometimes you just wish you could go back to bed and start the day over again.”
That was exactly how she felt. “Actually, I don’t even think I’d get up if I had it to do over again. A whole day in bed sounds wonderful.”
“It happens to all of us at one time or another,” Rachel assured her. “And you’re still new at this mommy stuff. Maybe I can help. I called to see if I could take care of Alyssa this afternoon. I know you must have things to do, getting ready for your trip and everything, and I thought it would give Alyssa a chance to adapt to the baby before I start baby-sitting her next week.
“If that’s okay with you,” she added quickly. “Gavin told me you’re not going to be able to come home very often, so I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to spend as much time as possible with her before you leave. In fact, now that I think of it, this probably isn’t such a good idea, after all. I don’t want to intrude.”
So Gavin hadn’t told her that they were getting a divorce. Why? she wondered. What explanation was he going to give when she didn’t come home to visit? That she’d found somebody else? That she’d decided she didn’t want to be a wife and mother, after all? That she didn’t care?
Hurt, she tried to tell herself it didn’t matter what he told people—the end result was that they were getting divorced. Nothing else mattered. But her emotions were in such a twist about leaving that he could have told Rachel and half the county that she was the most wonderful wife in the world and she still would have cried. She’d been holding back tears for days, pretending that she was happy with her decision to get on with her life, and it was killing her.
Suddenly desperately in need of some time to herself, she said huskily, “You’re not intruding, Rachel. If you’re really serious about taking Alyssa for a while, I could use an hour or so to run an errand. I’ll be back as quick as I can.”
“Take all the time you need,” she insisted, pleased. “I’ve missed her. Just drop by whenever you’re ready.”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” Summer promised, and prayed she could last that long before she fell apart.
The drive back to town seemed to take forever. His hands clutching the steering wheel and his foot flattening the accelerator of his Chevy, Gavin never spared the speedometer so much as a single glance as he flew across the reservation like a man possessed. God, he’d wasted so much time! Janet was right. He should have told Summer long before now just how much he loved her. She had a right to know how he felt about her before she left for Salt Lake City. Then if she still chose to leave, he could hopefully take comfort in knowing that he’d done everything he could to give their marriage a chance.
He would tell her as soon as he got home, he decided. It wouldn’t be the romantic declaration that most women dreamed of, but something like that took time to plan, and time was something he didn’t have a lot of right now. Later, he would give her music and flowers and candlelight. For now, all he could give her was his love, straight from the heart. He prayed it would be enough.
He hit the town limits of Whitehorn and was forced to slow down or risk getting a ticket. He muttered a curse when a traffic light changed in front of him and would have shot through it if a sheriff’s deputy hadn’t pulled up next to him at that moment. Left with no choice but to stop, he sat for what seemed like ten minutes before the damn light changed and he was able to go through the intersection. And all he could think of was that he had to get to Summer.
He drove the rest of the way home like a model citizen, not even coming close to speeding, but the second he pulled into his driveway, he was out of his car and striding for the front door. “Summer, I’m home!” he called as he unlocked the door and hurried inside. “Where are you? We need to talk.”
For an answer, all he got was silence.
On her afternoons off, she was usually in the kitchen with Alyssa, starting supper, but even as he headed for the back of the house, he knew he wouldn’t find her there. Unless Alyssa was sleeping, she could almost always be counted on to be banging on a bowl or talking to herself or Summer as she played. The house, however, was as quiet as a tomb.
Still, he hurried into the kitchen to check the refrigerator, where he and Summer left messages for each other. Not surprisingly, there was a note there, just as he’d e
xpected. Figuring she’d had to make a run to the store for something for dinner, he pulled the note from the magnet that held it in place and quickly skimmed it.
Gavin
Alyssa is at Rachel’s. Please pick her up when you get home from the clinic. I had to leave—
The neatly printed words hit him right in the chest and nearly knocked him off his feet. Leave? he thought, panicking. She’d left him already? Like this, without even giving him a chance to say goodbye? No! Damn it, she couldn’t do this to him! She couldn’t do this to them! He had to talk to her, had to tell her he loved her. Now, before it was too late!
Crumpling the note in his fist, he whirled, his only thought to find her and tell her how he felt about her before she left town. Because if he didn’t do it now, he might not ever get a second chance.
Rushing out to his car without even bothering to lock the front door, he threw the transmission into reverse and went flying backward out of the driveway like a maniac. Rachel, he thought frantically. Summer had taken Alyssa to her house. If he hurried, he might still catch her there.
Later, he never remembered the drive across town to Rachel’s. He did know that it was only through the grace of God that he didn’t hit anyone. He went through yellow lights, one red, and at least three stop signs without even touching his brakes, and more than a few drivers told him what they thought of him with obscene hand gestures. He couldn’t have cared less. Nothing mattered but Summer, and finding her.
With a squeal of tires, he braked to a stop in front of Rachel’s house ten minutes later and was out of the car and running for the front door without bothering to turn off the motor. There were two cars in the driveway, neither of which was Summer’s, but Gavin refused to be discouraged. She wouldn’t have just left Alyssa there without an explanation. She would have told Rachel what was going on, why she was moving out early, if she was actually leaving town today or just moving out of the house.
His heart pounding, he reached the front door and lifted his fist to pound it down if he had to, only to remember Alyssa. She wouldn’t understand what was going on if he came barging inside like a madman, and the last thing he wanted to do was to scare her.
Dragging in a steady breath that cost him dearly, he punched the doorbell and told himself he was going to remain calm. But the second Rachel opened the door to him, his control snapped. “Where is she?” he growled. “And don’t pretend you don’t know. She must have told you. Damn it, Rachel, I’m not letting her leave me like this! Not until I get a chance to tell her I love her.”
Surprised, Rachel fell back a step to allow him entry and had to bite her lip to hold back the smile that suddenly pulled at the corners of her mouth. She didn’t think she’d ever seen the oh-so-stoic Gavin Nighthawk rattled. It was quite enlightening. He hadn’t even blinked when he’d been charged with murder, but here he was, pacing her entrance hall like a restless tiger just at the thought that Summer might have left him. There was hope for the man yet.
Encouraged, she leaned a shoulder against the doorjamb and arched a brow at him. “Are you telling me that you convinced that woman to marry you without telling her you loved her? Shame on you, Gavin Nighthawk! No wonder she was so upset when she dropped off Alyssa.”
Wincing as if she’d struck him, his frustration immediately turned to concern. “Was she crying? What did she say? You shouldn’t have let her leave if she was that upset. If something happens to her—” Unable to finish the thought, he swore, “Damn it, Rachel, this is driving me crazy! I’ve got to find her. I know she told you where she was going.”
She didn’t deny it. “She needed some time to herself,” she said quietly. “She didn’t tell me not to tell you, but I really don’t think she expected you to come after her.”
“I’ll follow her all the way to Utah if I have to,” he said simply. “I love her, Rachel. All I want is a chance to tell her that.”
For a man of few words when it came to his feelings, he couldn’t have spoken more eloquently. Touched, Rachel said, “She said she was going to the Crying Falls. But that was over an hour ago. I’m not sure she’s still there.”
“I’ll find her,” he promised in a voice thick with emotion. “Thanks, Rachel. I owe you one—again.” Giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, he turned and rushed out the door.
Located deep in a remote canyon on the far north side of the reservation, the Crying Falls had been a sacred retreat for the Cheyenne long before Columbus came to America. It was here, according to legend, that a white buffalo had led a lost Indian maiden in a blinding snowstorm. Fed by hot springs that didn’t freeze, even during the coldest of winters, the falls had called out to her during the worst part of the storm, crying her name and guiding her to the safe haven of its warmth. If not for that, she would have surely died.
It was said that the Great Spirit used the falls to speak to the maiden, and ever since then, the Cheyenne had sought solace there. It was there that the sick came to drink the warm, mineral waters of its bubbling springs and the troubled came to ask the Great Spirit for help and guidance. And it was there that Summer always came whenever her heart was heavy and she needed help to find her way again.
Usually, she had only to hear the murmur of the water and her spirit magically lightened. But not today. Her heart hurting, she sat slumped on a boulder next to the falls and found little comfort in the whispered gurgle of the water as it slipped and slid over moss-covered rocks that were older than time itself. Tears stung her eyes, and with a shuddering sob, she buried her face in her hands and gave in to the pain tearing at her.
Lost in her misery, she never noticed when Gavin pulled up in his Chevy and parked next to her Jimmy, but he saw her immediately. And his heart broke at the sight of her. He’d never seen a more dejected figure in his life. Every instinct he had urged him to rush forward and sweep her into his arms, but he couldn’t. Not until he knew why she was crying. Was it because she couldn’t stand the thought of leaving him and Alyssa? Did she love them that much? Or did she regret the day she’d ever gotten involved with him by foolishly rushing to his rescue?
Torn, unsure what to do, what to believe, he approached her carefully, not wanting to scare her or, worse yet, hurt her again, but he had to talk to her. He wasn’t leaving there until he did.
“Summer?”
He expected the sound of the falls to drown him out, but the second he called her name, she twisted around on the rock and gasped at the sight of him. Mortification washing over her, she scrambled to her feet and hastily wiped away the tears that trailed down her cheeks. “What are you doing here? I came here to be alone.”
She stood poised like a deer, ready to run. “Wait!” he cried when she would have taken off into the woods just to get away from him. “Damn it, Summer, I’m sorry if I’m intruding, but Rachel told me you were here. I had to come. We need to talk.”
Not meeting his eyes, she moved as if to brush past him. “There’s nothing left to say, Gavin. Let it go before you ruin what’s left of our friendship.”
Lightning quick, he stepped in front of her, blocking her path. “Before I ruin it?” he growled. “You’re the one who’s leaving!”
“Because I’ve fulfilled my end of our bargain,” she retorted, stung.
“Our agreement was for one year,” he reminded her. “One year, Summer. Not one month.”
“Your part of the agreement was for a year.”
“Oh, no,” he argued. “We both agreed we’d be married for one year, and during that time, you’d help me get back my daughter and my reputation, and I’d help you by working at the clinic.”
He was right, and they both knew it, and to stand there and argue about it was ridiculous. “All right,” she sighed, suddenly bone weary. “I’m cutting out early, I admit it. But if you had a problem with that, why didn’t you say something last week when we discussed this? When I told you I wanted to change my residency so I could work with Dr. Bishop, you agreed it was too good an opportunity to pa
ss up.”
“So I changed my mind,” he retorted. “We have an agreement, and I expect you to honor it. If you don’t, I’ll be forced to sue you for breach of promise.”
Stunned that he would even threaten to do such a thing, Summer couldn’t believe she’d heard him correctly. “You can’t be serious.”
“Try leaving,” he dared her, “and you’ll see just how serious I am.”
Her eyes searching his, there was no doubting his sincerity. He would do it, she thought incredulously. After everything she’d done to try to help him, he would actually sue her if she didn’t stand by her word!
“Why are you doing this?” she demanded, hurt. “Can’t you see that I’m just trying to protect Alyssa? She’s already lost one mother. How do you think she’s going to feel if I stay and a year from now we divorce? After she’s had all that time to grow closer to me? She’s just a little girl, Gavin. She’s never going to understand. Don’t do that to her. She’s the innocent one in all this. End it now before she gets too attached and gets hurt.”
For a moment she thought she’d actually gotten through to him. He hesitated and doubt flickered in the dark depths of his eyes. But just when she expected him to agree that she was doing the right thing, he set his jaw stubbornly. “No.”
“Damn it, you can’t do this! Alyssa—”
“Will be fine,” he assured her. “I would never do anything to hurt her. And neither would you. If I thought you were really leaving to protect her, I’d help you pack your bags myself. But you’re not.”
Confused, she frowned. “What are you talking about? I just told you—”
“You told me everything but the truth,” he cut in smoothly. “Why don’t you try that for once and see what happens? Tell me why you’re really leaving.”
Caught in the trap of his eyes, Summer felt her heart start to pound. He knew, she thought, shaken. He knew she was leaving because she loved him, and he was determined to make her admit it. Why? she wanted to cry. Why was it so important to him to hear the words? He’d already heard them once. Why did he need to hear them again when his only response the first time had been nothing but silence?
