by Stella James
Cole: Let me take you out tonight.
I exhaled my relief and took my step.
Me: Yes.
Cole: I’ll pick you up at 7. And Lily?
Me: Yeah?
Cole: This is the beginning, no turning back.
Me: I know. See you soon x
*
Several hours later I was standing In front of my small closet wondering what the hell I was going to wear. The pile of discarded clothes on the bed stared back at me. Cole had texted me later that afternoon to tell me that we would be going to Mac’s, a small pub just down the street. I’d been there a couple times to quickly pick up lunch but nothing more. I knew it was casual and I probably could have worn my usual t shirt and jeans but I wanted to put in more effort. It had been so long since I went on a date and if I was being honest I wanted to wear something that Cole would find sexy. It was now that I realized just how much I missed having girlfriends. I hadn’t really made any effort to get to know any of the women in town since I arrived. I knew most of the young moms in passing, but no one I felt like I could call in the throes of my wardrobe related panic attack. I hoped that taking this step with Cole would give me the boost I needed to take other necessary steps. Like making actual friends.
I decided on a pair of dark skinny jeans and black top with a v neck. Forgoing my usual converse sneakers, I opted for a pair of black ankle boots with a slight heel. I applied a bit of makeup just to brighten my eyes and left my long hair in natural waves down my back. I went casual pretty much on a daily basis and usually didn’t bother with makeup so this was a nice change. I took one last look in the mirror and made my way downstairs towards what I hoped would be the start of something real.
There was a knock at the door at seven sharp. I couldn’t help smiling wide as I opened the door and was greeted with three different bouquets of flowers. Roses, daisies and lilies. I laughed lightly as the flowers were lowered and I was met with Cole’s stare. I may have not had a lot of experience with men but I knew the look on his face was appreciation and I hoped, desire.
“Hi.” I breathed out
“You look beautiful Lily.”
“Thank you.” I pointed to the flowers. “Couldn’t decide?” I teased.
“Well it dawned on me that during our many morning conversations we hadn’t talked about what your favourite flower is, so I did the only logical thing and went with three different possibilities.”
I smiled again. “That is very true, and they are all lovely. But if I’m being honest, I’m more of a chocolate kind of girl.”
He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a chocolate bar. I swear I fell half in love with him right there.
My laugh was genuine and it almost caught me off guard when I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time I’d laughed like that. I accepted my gifts and we were on our way. Mac’s wasn’t far and the June air was warm, so we decided to leave his truck and walk. The conversation flowed easily between us. I kept my past to myself for the most part but we did trade childhood stories and I told him about my parents. He was genuinely sympathetic and I could tell that he was clearly close with both his mom and dad. He told me all about growing up in a small town and the kind of trouble him and his sister Kate had gotten into. I learned that his favourite colour was green, his favourite movie was Braveheart and that we both shared a mutual interest in all types of music. He admitted that he didn’t often read, and I of course forgave him.
We entered Mac’s to find that it was quite busy which according to Cole was typical on any given night. Mac’s had been a staple in Blue Falls for over twenty years. Mac himself had sold the small pub several years ago but the new owner never bothered changing the name. He must have known the nostalgia of the place held most of the appeal to the locals. We found a small booth in the far corner and each ordered a beer and a plate of wings to share. The walls were covered in various old signs that gave it a charming look. A small stage sat in the opposite corner where live acts would perform now and then. A decent sized dance floor sat in the middle of the room surrounded by tables and booths. I looked around and noticed a few familiar faces amongst the crowd. We continued our conversation while I resisted the urge to crawl on top of him right there in full view of the public. The fit of his dark t shirt assured me that there was no part of this man’s body that wasn’t muscular and hard. His forearms were tanned from working outside and I’d felt the calluses on his large hand as he’d held onto mine when strolled down Main Street. The thought of those rough hands running along my skin had me clenching my thighs together to try and ease the aching between them. I knew that no matter where this was leading, whether it be one night or more, I was going to indulge in the fantasies that had been teasing my mind since the day I first met Cole. Among my thoughts was the realization that I could be the woman I used to be. She would be different of course, but she wasn’t dead and buried. I could reach her and pull her out from the deep grave she had been forced into.
Chapter 6
Cole
Being with Lily was one of the easiest things I’d ever done. Our conversation came so naturally, I was now kicking myself for bringing her to Mac’s where it was loud and busy. Everything about this woman awoke a possessiveness in me that I wasn’t prepared for. I wanted to keep her to myself and learn everything there was to learn about her. She had opened up about her parent’s death and parts of her childhood yet I knew there were still things she was holding back and I wanted to know all of it. I wouldn’t push her. Yet. I’d never be satisfied until I found out what caused the weariness behind her eyes. We continued to get to know each other in the crowded bar as best we could but I needed more. I needed to touch her and feel every curve of her beautiful body pressed against me. The small dance floor was beginning to thin out just as Eric Church started singing about a wrecking ball. I took my chance.
“Dance with me Lily.”
She looked momentarily surprised but blessed me with a sweet smile and firm nod. I took her small hand in mine and led the way. I pulled her to me and wrapped my arms around the small curve of her waist. Her arms came up over my shoulders, her hands meeting behind my neck and we began to move slowly. The heels on her boots gave her a bit more height but her head still rested just under my chin. She laid her ear against my chest and released a sigh. I hoped she could feel just how hard she made me. I didn’t want there to be any question between us as to how much I wanted her. The song began to fade out but we stayed as we were. Lily lifted her head and looked me in the eyes.
“Cole.” she whispered.
“I know Lily.”
My mouth came down to meet hers. I gently licked the seam of her full lips and prompted her to open up. She tasted as sweet as she sounded and I was sure right then and there that one kiss wouldn’t be enough to satisfy me. Feeling her lips beneath mine brought me more pleasure than I thought possible. She tilted her head, allowing me to deepen our kiss as she pressed herself into me. I regrettably pulled back when I realized I was ready to take her right there on the floor. She looked back at me with dark eyes and I had no doubt that my stare matched hers. We walked back to our table, my hand firmly on her lower back. There was no way I wasn’t touching her and making it known to anyone watching that she was mine. I stopped short when I saw my buddy Trace sitting at the bar. He was still in his uniform and must have just finished his shift. I guided Lily over to the bar. I wanted to introduce them before Trace had his latest one night stand draped all over him. We’d been friends since we were kids, his family also a long time staple in Blue Falls. He worked as a highway patrolman for the county. His job often supplied more than a fair share of entertaining stories about tourists he’d pulled over. Trace was a self-proclaimed lifelong bachelor and I knew I was going to catch major shit from him when I admitted my new obsession with monogamy.
As we approached the bar I could feel Lily tense up under my hand, her eyes stared wearily at Trace’s back. She pulled away slightly and mumbled so
mething about the bathroom. She was headed in the other direction before I could respond. I turned from Lily’s retreating back to find Trace’s questioning look. I avoided an explanation and after a brief catch up, made plans to meet for a beer later in the week. I went back to our table to find Lily sitting quietly, staring at a salt shaker as though it had all the answers in the world. I gently touched her hand, the sad look in her eyes punched me straight in the gut. Without a word I guided her out of the booth and we left the bar in silence.
The walk back to the library was brimming with unanswered questions. I kept my hand on her back to maintain our connection and waited for her to speak. She unlocked the front door and turned to me.
“Look, Cole, there are things in my past that I need to tell you. I’m not ready yet but I promise I’m working on it if you can be patient with me..?”
She looked down then and seemed to be gathering up her courage as she looked back up at me. “Do you want to come in?”
I knew based on what was happening between us that this wasn’t an invitation for coffee, and as much as I wanted to be with her I didn’t want anything between us when I finally had her legs wrapped around me. I gave myself one last mental kick before I responded.
“I’ll be patient with you Lily, to be honest whatever this is between us is something I’ve never felt before. And as much as I’m going to hate myself for not coming in tonight, I can’t.” She nodded in understanding and looked almost defeated. I leaned in close and spoke softly against her ear.
“Make no mistake baby, I want you more than anything right now, but when I finally strip you naked and put my mouth on every inch of your beautiful body, there will be nothing standing between us. I want to know all of you before I make you mine.” I placed a firm kiss on her temple and turned back down the front steps. I waited until I was in my truck to adjust my raging hard on and spent the drive home praying for patience.
Chapter 7
Lily
It had been three days since my date with Cole and to my surprise I’d heard from him several times. He was busy finishing up at the hotel so he hadn’t been by the library, but he’d texted often and phoned every evening to say good night. I knew that I was going to tell him everything about my marriage and my escape from Kevin, but I wanted to do it in person. He deserved to know exactly who I was and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t very interested in his description of making me “his”. I replayed our very public kiss almost constantly in my mind. The pleasure I’d felt from that one kiss had me ready and willing to offer myself to him right there on the spot. When he declined my invitation to come in after he’d walked me home, I was sure my behaviour towards the end of the night had turned him off. The moment I’d realized we were heading towards the cop sitting at the bar, it felt as though a fist was squeezing my heart and I knew I needed to collect myself before I was thrown into a full blown anxiety attack. Cole was kind enough not to mention any of it although I’m sure he noticed and I knew he deserved an explanation.
I closed up for the day and went upstairs to get ready for what I hoped would be a very worthwhile evening. Cole was picking me up in a couple hours and bringing me out to his place with the intention of cooking me dinner. I couldn’t remember the last time someone cooked for me and I planned on using the private setting to come clean about everything. I hopped in the shower and took extra time lathering up and shaving almost everything from the waist down. I was nervous and excited for what could possibly happen and I wanted to be prepared. I wanted to feel sexy and let go of myself, if only for a few moments. I’d gotten my hair trimmed and highlighted the day before. My outing with Cole had given me the boost I needed to make the effort to at least try and integrate myself into the community and I figured what better place to start than a hair salon. My effort paid off when I met Mona, the owner of The Beauty Boutique. My appointment had been with someone named Lucy, but the minute I checked in, a petite woman about my age with jet black hair, leopard print leggings and hot pink flats grabbed me by the hand and declared to the entire shop that we were in the presence of “virgin hair” and that she would be personally taking care of me. Apparently anytime a new customer stepped foot into The Beauty Boutique, Mona staked her claim. A tradition that began shortly after she first opened her doors. After two hours with Mona, not only did I feel refreshed but I had made a new friend whether I wanted one or not, which I did. We made plans to get together that weekend for what Mona called “our new wine night because hot bitches like us need a wine night”. We exchanged numbers and I left feeling lighter than I had in a long time.
I spent time getting ready and applied my favourite vanilla body lotion to every inch of skin that I could reach. I put on the very sexy, very tiny light pink thong and matching bra that I had ordered online about ten seconds after I met Cole. I decided to keep my outfit casual, figuring it would help to ease my nerves if I were comfortable. Cole arrived not long after I finished getting ready, we were in his truck and leaving town before I knew it. There was no turning back now.
*
The drive to Cole’s house passed quickly. He told me about his day and dealing with the difficult owner of the hotel they were currently working on, which would be done in a few days much to his relief. The library would be done by the end of the week, much to my relief. I told him about my appointment with Mona, he laughed when I told him about my part in the virginal hair sacrifice. He told me he would expect nothing less from her. She was good friends with his sister Kate and had spent a fair amount of time at their house growing up. The unexpected pang of jealousy that I felt must have shown on my face as he was quick to assure me that he had always thought of her as a sister. Cole had told me about the house he had built for himself the night we went to Mac’s, I could tell it was a source of pride for him and with good reason. The beautiful log cabin sat quietly among the trees that surrounded it. Nothing could be heard but the gentle rustling of the wind. After a quick tour of the inside we ended up in one of the most beautiful kitchens I had ever seen. Sleek counter tops and appliances accompanied with gorgeous wood stained cabinets gave it a nice mix of modern and country. The mail scattered about on the end counter top and the various hoodies and jackets hung by the patio doors made the space feel lived in. I could get very used to spending time in this kitchen. With Cole, of course.
We decided to take advantage of the nice weather and use the grill out back. Cole prepared two very delicious looking steaks while I made a salad. We worked in compatible silence as if we’d been doing it for years. After dinner we each took a beer out to the patio and I worked on getting my thoughts in order while he made a small fire. He sat casually on one of the loungers and gently pulled me to sit beside him.
“I want you close to me Lily.” he said.
I climbed on beside him and allowed him to pull me in. I held on to the safety his arms brought me and began telling him the story of Annemarie. I told him how Kevin and I first met and how things gradually began to change. I held nothing back and gave him full disclosure of my recurring injuries and emotional damage. I told him about the time I tried to report him, only to be met with provided excuses and plausible explanations on my behalf. He listened intently and never once released his hold on me. I told him about the various jobs I worked over the past year and half or so and the meetings I had attended in order to try and begin healing until I found myself in Blue Falls. I confessed that although I was feeling more like the person I used to be before I met Kevin, I still had to work at it every day. I finished on a deep breath and waited for him to respond. He stood slowly and I immediately felt the absence of his warmth. He walked to the edge of the patio and braced his hands for a moment before speaking.
“I’m sorry Lily, I need a minute.” The calmness with which he spoke would have given nothing away if it weren’t for the tick in his jaw and the tight grip he had on the top bar of the metal railing. He was angry. I could feel the rage coming off him in a hot wave. I wasn’t scared. Becaus
e I knew his rage wasn’t directed at me. I approached him slowly, wrapped my arms around the hardness of his torso and turned my head so my cheek rested gently against his back. There was nothing more to say. I spoke with the confidence I gained from sharing my past with Cole.
“I’m safe Cole. I remind myself of that every single day. I’m safe and I’m here. With you.”
He turned then and I brought my arms up and around his neck. I was ready to feel again. I pulled gently as I stood on my toes and brought his lips to mine. What started as soft quickly turned to hard. His arms pulled me closer as he deepened the kiss and prompted me to wrap my legs around his waist. Without breaking our connection, he backed us towards the patio doors and led us back inside the kitchen. The only sound was our breathing and the desperation of our mouths devouring one another. He took us down the small hallway and kicked open the door to the master bedroom I’d only gotten a quick glimpse of when we’d first arrived. I shamelessly ground myself against the hardness of his erection as he brought us into the bedroom. He broke the kiss long enough to graze his teeth along my neck, sending shivers down my spine and causing my nipples to harden against his chest.
“Lily.” he breathed against my ear.
“I want this Cole, I want you, please don’t stop.” I panted back.
“Never. You’re mine and I’m not letting go.”
The conviction in his words made my heart squeeze and my eyes fill with tears that I tried hard to control. A single tear managed to roll down my cheek only to be met by his seeking mouth as he kissed the drop away. Laying me gently on the bed he removed his shirt, exposing his muscular chest and a set of abs that I wouldn’t have thought were possible. His jeans came next and I propped myself up on my forearms to unabashedly admire the tightness of his black boxers and the sizeable bulge that stared back at me. Cole was big. Everywhere. I clenched my thighs together to ease the throbbing that was almost too much to bear. He removed his boxers and slowly crawled up the bed towards me.
