by Lola St. Vil
Argh!
“I like your hair down,” he says.
“Oh, thanks.”
“If you didn’t believe in me…you put your life in danger and I will always owe you for that.”
“Um…anytime?”
He laughs at how stupid my reply is. Once I hear it in my head, I have to laugh, too.
“I don’t know how much you do or don’t know about…things,” he says cautiously.
“I know enough.”
I know you lied to me, kissed your ex, broke my freaking heart, and tore my world apart aftervowing never to hurt me.
“So you know that I was never really back with Ameana.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“I’m sorry. I only said that because I wanted—”
“—let’s not do this.”
“What do you mean?”
We never played this reaction out in our head. Emerson Hope Baxter, what are you doing???
“Well, I kind of know how this will go,” I say out loud.
“Okay, how does it go?” he asks.
“I’ll say that when you kissed Ameana, you took my gravity away. I’ll remind you that you were my only solid ground and then you…Anyway, you’ll say that you only did that so you could protect me.”
“That’s exactly what I was trying to do,” he insists.
“Then you’ll tell me that you missed me. And that you love me.”
“Yes, for both.”
“And then I will say that I love you and I missed you, too.”
“I like the way this is going.”
“But then I tell you the truth about what I’m feeling. I tell you that when I look at you all I see is you kissing her. And that I will remember all of it: the night you said you didn’t love me anymore; the moment my tears turned blue and invaded the sky…”
“Emmy, I know it’s hard to forgive me, but I was just trying to protect you.”
“I don’t want to have this ‘talk,’” I say, turning away from him. He comes around to face me.
“We need to talk. You need to know that I love you. You are my entire world and I don’t want to spend another minute being away from you.”
“At first I thought that our relationship was doomed because of evil. I thought Akons got in our way. Then I thought it was Kairo or Lucy; I even blamed Ameana. But then it hit me. The thing that got in our way, the thing that keeps getting in our way, is you.” He looked like I had just stabbed him in the chest. I go on before he can talk, in fear I would lose my nerve.
“Marcus, when I look back at all the hurt and pain that I’ve felt since this mission began, I don’t think about the moment I was attacked or the time I was being cooked from the inside by Weeping Oil. When I think about pain and hurt, I think about you. The words you said to me that night, the sight of you and her…”
“That kiss meant nothing to me. You have to know that,” he pleads.
“No one loves me the way you do. But no one knows how to hurt me like you do.” He reaches out to me and takes both of my hands in his. He gently leans in and whispers in my ear:
“I didn’t Spring because the Angel world was in danger. I didn’t Spring when my team needed me. I only came back because I saw you were going to die. Baby, I love you. I can’t lose you. I can’t lose you. I can’t lose you…”
The quiet desperation and sincerity in his voice rips my heart to shreds. I bite my lower lip to keep from crying. A huge part of me wants, needs to fall into his arms. I ache to feel him against me, to be in his arms again.
I think about all the nights I stayed up begging Omnis to give him back to me. All the times I dreamed he would come down to earth and tell me it was all a big mistake; tell me that he was still in love with me.
The pain of his absence felt so real, it was like living with another person. I would be eating breakfast and there “Absence” would be, sitting across the table. I would go to school and “Absence” would roam the halls waiting for me to get out of class.
I studied and did whatever I could think of to stay busy. But it was no use; Marcus’s absence filled my lungs, traveled down my veins, and coated my nails, hair and inevitability, my tears.
I step back and look into the Angel’s face.
“Marcus, I want to help the team because you guys saved humanity. But there is no ‘us’ anymore.”
“I broke your heart to save your life.”
“I know.”
“If the situation was reversed and you could have saved my life by breaking up with me, I know you would do the exact same thing.”
“Then we both suck at love because there is no excuse for hurting someone like that.”
“The point is you were alive because everyone thought we were broken up.”
“Alive? I walked around like a damn zombie! I felt like you threw me into a dark hole and said, ‘Figure it out.’”
“I know, I know. I was in the same hole. I lost my gravity, too. Why do you think I turned to CP? Why do you think I became a Tic?”
“Don’t you dare blame me for decisions that you made, Marcus Cane!”
“I’m not—I just want you to know that this was hard for me, too. I missed you so much I couldn’t think. I couldn’t…let’s not do this. Let’s not dwell on the past. Let’s focus on right now.”
“You’re right. We should focus on now because you and I, that was in the past. I worked very hard to leave ‘us’ behind.”
“You just risked your life for me so don’t tell me you don’t care about us anymore,” he shouts in frustration.
“Marcus, it’s time we moved on,” I say gently.
“Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re really ready to ‘move on.’” I do as he says; I look into his devastatingly gorgeous eyes and say words I never thought would come from me.
“Marcus, I threw away the Replay you gave me.”
I can tell from the look on his face my throwing the Replay away cut him deeply. It was a Replay that showed us kissing in the car. But Marcus stubbornly continued to argue with me.
“That doesn’t mean you’re ready—”
“—I’m seeing someone.”
CHAPTER TEN:
ENEMIES
I know everyone says this but it actually felt like we stared at each other forever. Time had somehow ceased to exist. The wind refused to blow, the leaves stopped falling, and the earth decided to pause and wait for Marcus to respond. After awhile, I realize, he wasn’t going to talk,.
So, I tell him information I’m sure he doesn’t care about, just to stop the silence.
“The weeks that I’ve been with you, I told him I was away with my family. I hated lying to him but you guys are like family so…it’s not too big a lie, I guess.” Marcus doesn’t reply.
“Say something,” I implore him finally.
“What do you want me to say?” he says sounding like he was thousands of miles away.
“This doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can be a new beginning for both of us.” He laughs mirthlessly and shakes his head.
“Just like that, you can find it in your heart to forget me?” he says.
“Don’t do that. Don’t act like this was easy for me.”
“Well it looks easy.”
“Hey, I’m not the one to blame here. One minute I’m in my room getting ready to make love to the only guy I ever wanted; the next minute, I find him sticking his tongue down his ex’s throat—”
“—Emmy—”
“—I am not done!” I shout at him. I take a deep breath and continue:
“Even though it felt like you were standing on my heart and kicking it to death, I still looked for some kind of explanation. And what did you say to me? ‘I thought I loved you but I don’t. I’m still in love with Ameana.’”
“You don’t understand what happened. I was across the street, getting ready to go to you, when Julian came and he made me realize what a dangerous position I was putting you in.”
“You know how lon
g he’s wanted us to break up and you played right into his hands!”
“No, this wasn’t that. He was right; Lucy would come after you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I couldn’t take the chance. We killed her son.”
“Do you know you have a habit of blaming everyone else for the decisions that you make? Julian didn’t lie to me, you did. Lucy didn’t stomp on my heart, Marcus, that was you.”
“You want me to say that I’m sorry for trying to save your life?”
“Argh! You just don’t get it! You hurt me.”
“I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW!!!” he screams.
He closes his eyes in an attempt to calm down. When he speaks again, his tone is controlled.
“I saw what us breaking up did to you. I used a “No-See” Snap and I watched over you. But having your heart broken is way better than having it stop beating altogether. If I didn’t do what I did, Lucy would have taken all her rage out on you. She would have found you, tortured you, and there would have been nothing I could have done.”
“You don’t know that for sure.”
“I couldn’t take that chance with your life. And if you don’t get that, I guess we are over…”
Marcus leaves me alone on the roof. For a few minutes, I’m at a loss as to what to do. Part of me wants to go home and pretend like the past few weeks didn’t happen. But I can’t just sit this out knowing the team might be in danger.
Emmy, are you hanging around to help or to stay close to him?
I don’t give myself time to answer the question. I head downstairs and join the others. I’m told the Healer was beside himself and is off to share the news with fellow Healers. I’m told this by none other than the best Seller in the world, Tony Tone.
Tony is standing in the middle of the room, laying out various mixtures. He wears an even louder than usual Hawaiian shirt with gold chains.
“Emmy!” he exclaims as he comes over and hugs me. Although Tony isn’t the most moral person, I always have a soft spot for him. I return his embrace.
Tony looks around the room and begins to get weepy.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“It’s just, it’s so good to have the team back together again,” he says, his voice cracking.
“It’s good to see you, too, Tony but can we get to it?” Marcus instructs.
“Tell us how the Quo are alerted every time we take to the sky,” Rio asks.
“Is it a device they use or a mixture?” Jay adds.
“Actually it’s neither,” Tony says, sounding very much in love with the sound of his own voice.
“What do mean?” I ask.
“The thing that alerts the Quo isn’t a ‘thing’ at all. It’s a person. His name is Blaze. He’s a Quo whose power is scanning the entire sky while standing in one place. As soon as an Angel takes to the sky, he’s alerted by a series of rapid, freaky-looking eye movements. Which looks gross because his eyes are already milky.”
“We need to find this Blaze guy,” Marcus tells the team.
“Again, shouldn’t we be looking for the three Alphas so we can put the Shoma back together?” Jay asks.
“We can’t do anything unless we can take to the air. It takes too long to program a Port for the amount of traveling we’re going to do,” Marcus replies.
“Okay, but how do we go about finding him?” Ameana asks.
“It so happens, I know where he’s going to be tonight,” Tony says proudly.
“How do you know?” Jay asks.
“The Quo are just like Angels, they tend to forget that us Sellers are near and spill their guts. I overheard them talk about this massive party taking place tonight on Fire Island, just outside of New York, in honor of Blaze.”
“Sounds like a party we should attend,” Ameana suggests.
“Nope, you need a special card to get in. It’s almost impossible to duplicate. And it’s illegal to try. The Quo sent word to every being in the market. Only a fool would go against what the Quo orders.”
We all look at Tony and wait for him to come clean.
“Okay, okay, I may have a few passes.”
“Tony…” Marcus warns.
“Okay, I have passes but they’re hard to come by. It took me months.”
“You don’t want payment do you?” Rio asks.
“Well…”
“You would charge your own family?” I joke.
“Hey, I’m a Seller, I’d charge Omnis.”
“We’ll take care of you later. There are some other things we need…” Marcus says.
He then asks for mixtures that will enable them to hide their wings among the Quo and surveillance equipment.
“Again, these things are not cheap,” Tony warns us.
“We’ll make sure you get your money,” Ameana says.
“Okay but only because we’re family,” he says. He takes out a series of mixtures from his infamous sack.
“What time is the party?” Jay asks.
“It starts at midnight and there will be a lot of security, so be ready,” Tony cautions.
“We’ll head for Fire Island now.” Marcus assures him that will be plenty of time for them to stakeout the place and figure out a way to get Blaze.
“We should just blow the whole house up,” Jay suggests.
“We’re not ready for that. We don’t have any of the Alphas yet. This is just the first step.”
“So…we’re leaving right now?” I ask uneasily.
“Yeah, is there a problem?” Marcus asks.
I note to myself that this is the first time he’s even looked at me since I entered the room. And although his tone is official, I sense coldness there.
“Well, I had something I needed to do, but I could cancel.”
“Wait, is it a school thing? Your grades are improving, we don’t want to get in the way of that,” Miku says.
“It was improving. Then I spent weeks with you guys so…I’m guessing I have a lot to catch up on.”
“We’re sorry to—“ Miku begins.
“—please don’t be. There is no other place I would rather be than here, helping you guys.”
“We know we have cost you a lot,” Jay says.
“Yeah, you have. And in return all you guys do is save my life every ten seconds,” I joke.
“Seriously, we shouldn’t ask more of you,” Miku says.
“Look my Uncle comes to check on me almost every weekend. He only lets me stay by myself because I begged him to let me finish out the year at Livingston. He also has Ben’s Mom watch over me. I’m always being checked on or looked after. It’s been months since my life has been in danger. I miss that. But I made these plans…”
The whole team turns to face me. Now I’m in the spotlight.
Great…
The worst thing is Marcus. He’s looking at me as if he has Rio’s powers and can read me. I know he doesn’t, still right now I feel very…exposed.
“Never mind, I can cancel.”
“Is it practice? Because since the Quo attacked outside of your school, the humans think it’s some kind of terrorist thing. They’ve cancelled all afterschool activities for now,” Rio says.
“No, it’s not practice and how do you know that?” I ask.
“We get text alerts whenever anything is happening at your school; just in case the Quo were to return.”
“Oh.”
“But it’s not about school is it?” Marcus says, never taking his eyes off me.
“Never mind, I can cancel,” I say, meeting his gaze.
“Cancel what?” Miku asks.
Marcus answers her question while our eyes are still locked on each other.
“Emmy has a date,” he guesses.
It’s like every living person has turned to face me.
“Is that true?” Miku asks.
“C’mon, tell them,” Marcus dares me.
I hate him.
“It’s true,” I say, trying to sound casual.<
br />
“That explains the gold ‘secret’ colored Wave,” Rio says, mostly to himself.
“You’re seeing someone?” Jay asks.
“Yeah…”
“Well, we don’t want to get in the way of your fancy date with Mr. Perfect. Why don’t you sit this mission out?” Marcus suggests.
“Really Marcus, is this how you’re going to be?” I ask incredulously.
“How am I being?”
The team looks on in morbid fascination as Marcus and I go back and forth.
“This is really what you want? You want to stand here and act like this?” I ask.
“No, what I want is for you to go home where it’s safe. But since you hate when I try to protect you, then I guess you’re coming along for the mission. But I’m sorry we can’t fit your love life around our plans.”
“You’re being such a jerk!”
“You’re right. You have helped us many times, so it’s only right we try and work with you. When is your date?”
“Marcus…” I warn him.
“When is it?”
“It’s at six.”
“Fine, we’ll get things ready and you can join us after you and your boyfriend have had enough quality time.”
“What’s his name?” Miku asks.
I’m trembling with rage. I can’t turn away from Marcus long enough to even answer Miku’s question. Rio reads my Waves and says he’s afraid I’ll have a massive heart attack if I don’t calm down. I don’t say anything. Marcus and I just stare heatedly at each other.
“Emmy, what’s the guy’s name?” Miku asks again. I force myself to snap out of it and focus my energy on Miku.
“His name is Lucas.”
“What’s he like?” Tony asks.
“He’s into gadgets and games. He’s really funny and nice.”
“Is he hot?” she asks. Then she turns to Marcus and sees that his face has darkened. Instantly I can tell she regrets asking the question.
“Yes, he’s gorgeous,” I say with more emphasis than was needed.
Ameana tries to suppress a smile. The Twins avoid meeting Marcus’s eyes.
“Since you’re so busy with Mr. Perfect, are you sure you don’t want to sit out Fire Island?” Marcus says.
