I made a face and looked around as I turned off my car. “Uh, that’s not a good thing, actually, I’m pretty sure that’s embarrassing.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. Do you know how annoying that whole mysterious, playing hard-to-get voice is? You can never tell if the girl is ready to cry, yell at you, or tear off your clothes. With you, I always know exactly what I’m getting.”
I rubbed at my forehead and laughed uneasily. “Okay . . . ? I guess?”
“And I just made this conversation awkward. We’re starting this over.”
“No! No, we’re—Coen? Hello?” I looked at my screen and scoffed. “You really just hung up on me?” I asked when he called back.
“Ooh, pissed off, Duchess.”
“I’m not—”
“Hi, Reagan,” he said, cutting me off. His deep voice somehow calming and warming every part of my body.
“Hey,” I said softly, and smiled as I played with the ends of my hair. “I didn’t think I was going to talk to you until later.”
“Is that why you were so excited?”
I laughed and covered my face, groaning into my hand. “Yes, that’s why I was excited. I’m going to be a robot every time we talk from now on. You’ll never have any idea.”
“That would be depressing for me.”
“And probably impossible for me.”
“Uh, yeah. I’d say so. Hey . . . have you gotten Parker yet?”
I went back to playing with the ends of my hair and glanced at my parents’ house. “I’m just about to, I’d just pulled in to pick him up when you called.”
Coen was silent for a few seconds.
“Why?” I asked, drawing out the word.
“I know you’re scared of him getting to know me . . . but I’d really like to take you and Parker out tonight.” When I didn’t respond, his voice filtered through the phone again, his tone now borderline worried. “Reagan?”
“Um,” I began, and licked my lips. “Well . . .”
I looked toward the house again as I tried to come up with an excuse. I have work tomorrow. True. I have to do laundry. Not true. I have to clean. Unfortunately true, but I won’t get to it tonight regardless. I have to watch my plant grow. I don’t have any plants. I need more time to sit here playing with my hair while I think of a really good reason not to go! I straightened in my seat and stared at my steering wheel as I thought. Just last week I hadn’t been ready for the three of us to hang out, but I also hadn’t known how serious Coen was about this relationship—and he was right: Parker already adored him.
With school starting in less than a week, the only time I’d be alone without Parker would be the Fridays my work was closed . . . I knew this needed to happen soon, or eventually I would start thinking of reasons for us not to be together because of the time apart.
“We can wai—”
“What’d you have in mind?”
There was a heavy silence before Coen added softly, “Don’t do this if you’re not ready.”
“You already know him, Coen, I’m just being dumb.”
“No, you’re not. You’re protecting your son.”
I smiled and thought again about Coen getting Parker to eat. My dad couldn’t even do that. “I’m unnecessarily protecting him from someone he already knows and likes, and someone I’m dating and kinda, maybe, sorta like too.”
“Kinda, maybe, sorta,” he said, his voice monotone.
“Yeah,” I teased. “So what did you want to do tonight?”
“We can do easy. We can just grab dinner. Or we can—”
“Easy sounds good.”
“All right, easy it is. Can I pick you both up in an hour?”
I bit down on the inside of my cheek and shifted uncomfortably in my seat. “Can we meet you wherever you want to eat? Unless you want me to pick you up? Otherwise I have to move the booster seat to your car and it’ll just be weird.”
“Booster seat?”
“Yep . . . problems you’ll come across dating a mom.”
“I don’t ever remember being in one of those.”
I laughed and stepped out of my car. “I can’t remember it either, but it’s the law now.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, Steele, seriously.”
He paused before saying, “Don’t call me that. It’s weird.”
“Don’t call me Duchess.”
Coen drew out a groan. “I’m not sure if I can commit to that.”
“Well then, that’s your problem, not mine. I have to get Parker, text me where you want us to meet you.”
“You don’t play fair, Duchess.”
“Neither do you, Steele. See you soon.” I grinned and tapped END before opening the door and almost running into my brother. “Hey! I thought you were moving into your apartment with Erica.”
He pulled me into a hug and moved me away from the door so he could shut it. “I am, we’ve been moving all day. I just ran back here to get the last truckfull. Erica’s been unpacking all day, so it actually looks decent. You wanna come by tonight and see it? I’ll order pizza.”
“I can’t. Parker and I have something going on tonight.”
“Like . . . ?”
“Um . . .”
“Well, shit, Ray! You’re playing with your hair, so now you’re freaking me the fuck out. Tell me what it is.”
“Keegan!” I hissed, and smacked his arm as I looked around for my son. “Do you have to cuss in front of Parker?”
He cringed for a split second before relaxing. “No, we’re good. He’s out back with Mom. Now, tell me what you’re doing tonight.”
Dropping my hair, I straightened my back and tried to look directly into my brother’s eyes. It didn’t work. He’s eight inches taller than me. “Coen’s taking us to dinner.”
“Coen’s taking you and Parker to dinner?”
“Yes, he is, and why do you look like that? I don’t understand you. Why would you try to set me up with your best friend if you would ever have this worried look on your face! I know you told me you didn’t think we’d actually date, but come on, Keegan. Tell me why you’re acting like this! Is there something I should know? Something I should be worried about?”
“No,” he huffed and rolled his eyes. “No. Steele’s one of the best guys I know.”
I shrugged and put my hands up to the sides of my head before dropping them. “Then what? I don’t understand!”
Keegan looked past me for a while before clearing his throat and asking, “Does he sleep?”
“What?”
“When he’s, uh, with you. Does he sleep?” he gritted out, and then mumbled to himself, “I’ll kill the bastard for touching you.”
“What? Keegan! No, we haven’t done anything! He’s kissed me, that’s all. But even if we had, I wouldn’t tell you about it.”
Keegan sighed in relief and I crossed my arms over my chest.
“No killing Coen. And don’t punch him either.”
“I’m not promising the last one. No fucking way.”
“Keegan—”
“Ray!”
“Whatever!” I groaned, and ran a hand through my hair agitatedly. “Tell me why you wanted to know if he slept.”
“I—” he cut off and breathed out heavily through his nose. “It’s not my story to tell you. The only reason I’m worried is, well, other than the obvious of you being my little sister, and Parker being my nephew, and I would be worried no matter what. But, I know Steele’s seen some things, and I know that it’s fucked him up—”
“His demons,” I whispered.
“What?”
“He told me something about that the other night before we met up with you and Erica at his condo, when you kept calling us.” Keegan just stared at me like he was waiting for me to con
tinue. “Keegan, it was kind of personal.”
“Reagan. My guy told you about his demons, and you’re not gonna tell me what he said, and you expect me to let you take my nephew to dinner with him?”
I rolled my eyes and huffed. “He said I could silence his demons just by looking at him. He said it was because of his time in the army, about things during that time that he couldn’t tell me.”
Keegan no longer looked worried, or like the big, protective older brother. He looked shocked. “He said that to you?” he asked softly.
I nodded. “Why?”
He looked down, and a small smile crossed his face as he nodded softly. “Good for him,” Keegan said as he turned and walked toward the stairs.
I just stood there staring at his back, completely dumbfounded for a few seconds before I took a step toward him. “Wait, so you’re just okay with this now?”
When he looked back at me, he looked like he was trying to figure out what to say, and finally just shrugged. “Yeah, Ray. What he told you that night . . . that’s about as honest as he can get with what happened, and what’s going on with him. Knowing that he’s not keeping anything from you . . . and having seen how good he is with Parker. I think you’re just as good for him as he is for you.”
I was still staring at where Keegan had been when Parker came racing through the house. “Mom!”
“Hey, baby! Did you have fun today?”
“So much fun!” Parker launched into a play-by-play of their day, and I tried not to laugh when my mom walked in behind him and rolled her eyes before smiling.
“That crazy, huh?”
“Oh, it was nonstop today,” she said. “Did you want to stay for dinner?”
I shifted on my feet for a second before glancing down at Parker. “We can’t. Coen’s taking us to dinner tonight.” I’d barely looked up to see Mom’s reaction when Parker jumped up in front of me.
“Me too?”
I smiled widely at him. “You too, buddy.”
“No way! Come on, Mom, let’s go!”
“Okay, just a second, let me talk to Grandma first.” Looking up at my mom, my body tightened when I couldn’t read her expression. “Too soon?”
“We liked him.” She shrugged. “He does have an awful lot of tattoos, though. You don’t want Parker thinking those are okay.”
I suppressed a groan. “Mom. Really? Keegan has tattoos.”
“Not like that.”
“Mom!”
“Okay, okay!” She held her hands up. “We did like him. Despite the tattoos,” she threw in. “He seems like a wonderful young man. Keegan had a lot of great things to say about him when we asked him, but, I would trust his judgment on this.”
It was there, on that last bit that I realized Keegan must have told my parents his worries about Coen and his demons. Whatever they were. I could see it in my mom’s eyes. She was worried about this too, just as Keegan had been. But she didn’t understand, she didn’t know Coen. What was I saying? I barely knew Coen.
“I approve,” Keegan said as he appeared from out of nowhere.
I pointed at him. “He approves!”
“You do?” Mom asked, eyeing him warily.
“One hundred percent. I think he’d be good for them, and she’d be good for him.”
Turning, I sent him a thankful smile, and he winked at me as he opened the front door and walked out. Looking back at my mom, I saw her blink a few times before clapping her hands together once.
“Well, since I just put it all on Keegan, I guess that settles that.”
“It’ll be fine, Mom,” I said, hoping to reassure her. “You ready to go, buddy?”
Parker was studying his forearm intently, so he just nodded as he started walking toward the front door. “Mommy, do you think Coen will still have his stars?”
My eyes widened and I turned to look at my mom. “Uh, yeah, Parker. He will.”
“Because he’s old so his won’t wash away.”
“Right.”
“I’m gonna get old so mine won’t wash away, because I’m getting stars just like Coen’s.”
Mom groaned and rolled her eyes, and I tried covering my laugh with a cough, and failed miserably. Blowing her a kiss, I put my hand on Parker’s back and led him outside.
“Why don’t we wait a decade or so until we think about that, okay? Right now, let’s just go have dinner with Coen, sound good?”
“Cool!”
I smiled and followed my son to the car. The entire time I chanted to myself that this dinner was a good idea. That one day I wouldn’t regret letting my guard down for a guy like Coen and letting him into my son’s life.
Chapter Six
Coen—September 2, 2010
“THIS IS THE coolest, ever!” Parker yelled. “Coen’s the coolest, isn’t he, Mom?”
I glanced over at Reagan and she rolled her eyes at me. “Yeah, he’s pretty cool, buddy.”
“And this one comes off because I’m not old like you?”
I barked out a laugh and kept pressing the wet paper towel down on Parker’s arm. “That’s right, bud. It’ll come off in a few days.”
I held the paper towel there for a few more seconds before removing it, and then removed the hard back for the temporary tattoo and watched as Parker’s eyes lit up.
“Cool!”
I’m positive cool was his favorite word, and the extent of expressive words at that. But I had to steal his word. This kid was pretty damn cool.
“What do you think?” I held out his arm so Reagan could see, and even though she shot me a look, a smile crossed her face.
“Mom, isn’t it cool?”
“So cool, Parker.”
“I can’t wait to show Jason!” he said excitedly before tearing out of Reagan’s kitchen to go back to playing in the living room.
My lips slowly curved up into a smile as Reagan fought and lost with biting back her own smile, and I pulled her close. “You mad at me?”
She looked up at me and wrapped her arms around my neck. “Mad? Are you kidding? I’m furious,” she whispered.
“You look it,” I murmured against her lips and she smiled against my kiss.
“That was really sweet of you,” she said when I pulled back. “He doesn’t even remember they’re called tattoos, but all he talks about are the stars on your arm. They’re the only ones he remembers. This was . . .” she floundered for something to say as she looked over at Parker. “This was fun for him. I already know he’s going to talk about that tattoo, and who gave it to him, until it washes off.” Looking back at me, she shrugged. “Thank you.”
“Not a big deal. He spent the whole night talking about it the other night, had to get one for him.”
Her hazel eyes held mine, and her lips tilted up on one side. “That’s just it. You didn’t have to.”
“Okay, I wanted to. Better?”
“Much.”
I leaned in, and had just barely brushed my lips against hers when we heard, “Ew, you’re kissing a girl?”
Reagan froze, and I held back a laugh as I turned my head to look at Parker. “Yeah, why, do you want me to kiss a boy?”
Parker made a face. “Gross! No! But girls have cooties!”
“Yeah? Says who?”
His mouth opened and his eyebrows pinched together for a few seconds before he sputtered, “Everyone.”
I unwrapped my arms from Reagan, and crouched down so I was his height. “Girls your age do have cooties,” I whispered loudly, and tried so hard not to smile when he nodded quickly. “But you know how I’m old so my stars don’t wash off?” Parker looked at his star, then my tattoos before nodding again. “Well, when you’re this old, girls don’t have cooties anymore. So they’re safe to kiss.”
Parker looked at me like he was trying to memorize eve
ry word I was saying. “How will I know when they’re safe?”
I glanced up at Reagan, and her face fell into a look of horror. “He’s six,” she mouthed.
“Just trust me on this, bud,” I said when I looked back at Parker. “You’ll know.”
“ ’Kay,” he replied, and looked up at Reagan. “It’s okay, Mom. You’re safe, you won’t give Coen cooties.”
My head dropped so he wouldn’t see how hard I was trying not to laugh, but I knew my shoulders were shaking from trying to hold it back.
“Thanks for that, buddy. Why don’t you go wash your hands so we can eat, all right?”
“Okay!”
I straightened, my body still shaking from the laughs I’d been trying so hard to quiet, and Reagan punched my shoulder as soon as I was upright.
“Seriously?”
“Hey! At least I told him the girls his age had cooties.”
A laugh bubbled past her lips before she could contain it, and then her stern expression was back. “But now what if he avoids women until he’s like thirty?”
“He won’t. Trust me, once puberty hits you’ll be wishing he would avoid them until he was thirty. At least I bought you a few years. I could’ve told him cooties didn’t exist and you’d have the principal calling you because he was kissing all the girls in his class next week. I know from experience.”
A sly grin crossed her face. “Coen Steele, did you terrorize all the girls by kissing them?”
I shrugged as I grabbed the food and started walking toward the table. “Someone had to do it. I took one for the team.”
“Ah, must have been such a hardship.”
“You have no idea.”
Reagan just smiled and shook her head as she leaned up to press her lips to my jaw. “And are you still terrorizing them all?”
“Just one,” I whispered.
“Good answer.”
REAGAN SHUT THE door leading to Parker’s bedroom, and smiled up at me as she easily fell into my arms where I stood leaning against the wall.
“He is out,” she whispered, and pressed her lips to my throat as she wrapped her arms around my neck. “Tonight was fun for him.”
“It was fun for me too,” I said honestly.
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