by Jayne Blue
“We vote the day after tomorrow,” he said. “I laid everything out for him. He’s being a little bitch about it.”
I nodded. “I wish I could say I didn’t see this coming.”
“He’s too damn stubborn or stupid or both to see what’s best for him. Goddammit, Dex, Billy hates half of the shit he’s got to deal with as V.P. I’m giving him the chance to focus on what he loves the best and you’d think I was telling him we were planning on cutting his balls off tomorrow.”
Sly finally turned to look at me. “Hey, I trust you. I’ve said that a million times. But this stuff with Billy is nothing but a distraction we don’t need. I’ll play it however you want it. What I need to know, if it comes to a vote, do you think Billy’s got any support?”
Sly shook his head. “You know he doesn’t. But that fucker is going to make me humiliate him in front of the whole club. It doesn’t have to be like this.”
“I think it’s time for Billy and me to have a little heart to heart,” I said. Ava’s thoughts on the matter had been bothering me more than I liked. She thought Sly was too close to Billy to see his naked ambition for what it was. I wasn’t.
“At this point, I don’t see the harm in trying. He’s heading to Sacramento tomorrow. There’s a fight venue I need him to check out. But he’ll be back by morning.”
I nodded. I hated the fact that it would cut into the two days I’d planned to spend with Ava, but the Billy situation needed to be handled once and for all. “I’ll try to talk sense into him. He needs to understand what I’ve given up for this club. Once upon a time we were close. I can remind him of that in a way maybe you can’t. Then, the day after tomorrow, you put it to the members. If that’s the way he wants this to go down, then so be it. At least you and I have done every damn thing possible to make it easier for him.”
Sly slapped me on the back and some of the lightness came back into his eyes. It was good. It was how things were supposed to be. Sly and I were meant to shoulder the burdens of the club together. I had no idea whether I could manage Billy any better than he did, but I agreed club harmony meant I had to try.
Chapter Seventeen
Ava
Dex woke me up with slow kisses as I nuzzled against his broad chest. We spent the day in bed and I was positively saddle sore but deeply sated. He looked down at me with such tenderness I thought my heart might burst. But I couldn’t help but notice something else flicker behind his eyes and I knew it could only mean trouble.
“Did you tell Sly what I had to say on the subject of Billy?”
Dex evaded the question by kissing me on the nose.
“It’s okay,” I said, leaning up on one elbow. “God knows I bore you enough with my work stuff.” The sheet slipped and exposed my breasts. Dex reached out with a languid hand and fingered each of my nipples, his eyes flashing with desire. I felt an answering heat in my core. He took my hand in his and brought it to his lips.
“What was it like over there?” he asked and I stiffened. Since our first conversation about my life during his absence, he hadn’t asked me many questions. I think he sensed it was something I preferred to leave in the past. But it was part of me and he knew that. I shifted my weight so I lay on my back staring at the ceiling. Dex threaded his fingers through mine and brought my hand to rest against his chest. I could feel the strong, steady beat of his heart.
“Hot. Sticky. It smelled bad. I could never go more than a quarter mile in any direction unless I was riding in an armed transport. And I met some of the best people I’ve ever known in my life. I don’t regret going, not for a single second. But I never want to go back.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. He ran his fingers along the inside of my arm, sending a shiver of pleasure up my spine. “I wish I’d known when you were there.”
I shrugged. “It wouldn’t have changed anything. I had enough people worrying about me. Plus, you had plenty of things to deal with where you were.”
He nodded and stared at a point on the wall. “What about you?” I said. “What was it like for you in there?” I hadn’t asked him many questions about his time either. In some ways, I sensed his way of handling it was much like what it was for me. Live in the now. Don’t dwell on the past.
He raised a brow and met my eyes before he answered. “Hot. Sticky. It smelled bad. And I could never go more than a quarter mile in any direction unless I was riding in an armed transport. And I met some of the worst people I’ve ever known in my life. I regret every second that I wasn’t here with you but there’s no point in looking back.”
I wanted to say I love you. But for the thousandth time, I stopped myself. It was something neither of us had been ready to bring ourselves to say to each other. I knew Dex was scared of spooking me and was at least partially justified. I could handle things if we lived in the moment. Things were still new between us. He was still firmly entrenched in club drama and I knew what that brought with it. It had nearly killed him and tore our world apart the last time around. I would never ask him to leave it behind for me. But I also didn’t know if I could stay in that world with him for the rest of my life. So we didn’t talk about it. We used sex to avoid it.
I looked at the clock. My shift started in an hour and I knew Dex wanted to catch Billy alone when he came back from wherever Sly had sent him for the day. Dex sighed as he realized the time too. Groaning, he stood and tugged at my arm.
“I need to grab a shower,” he said and he practically dragged me out of the bed.
“What does that have to do with me?” I teased. I hadn’t been able to take a solo shower in weeks except for the ones I took at the hospital. I knew if Dex could figure out a way to crash those too, he would.
“You’re coming with me, woman. I need you to make sure I clean all those hard-to-reach places.”
Then Dex picked me up in his strong arms as if I weighed nothing. He heaved me over his shoulder caveman style and smacked my bare ass for good measure. I squealed and made a show of struggling against him, but he only needed to dip one finger between my legs and he could tell it was all for show. He had me. He owned me. I craved him.
He carried me to the bathroom, reached in and turned on the shower jets. His lips and hands were everywhere as he set me down. I reached up and ran my hands along his broad chest. I loved the feel of the wiry curls along his solid abs. He was already huge and hard. His erection bobbed in front of him, inviting me to do something about it.
And so I did.
As we waited for the water to warm, I sank down to my knees in front of him, shooting him a sly smile. His eyes darkened with lust and I kept eye contact as I slid my lips around his turgid cock. My Dex was so big I had to stretch my mouth wide to take all of him in. He shuddered in my mouth as I set a rhythm I knew he couldn’t resist. I took him all the way down to the root, gagging a little as his hair tickled my nose. I sucked hard, keeping him right where I wanted with a strong grip on his ass.
“Ava,” he gasped as I swirled my tongue around his shaft and sank even lower down. I felt the muscles of his hamstrings twitch and knew he exercised powerful restraint to keep from taking over the pace from me. He would hold on as long as he could before he would need to grab my hair and fuck my mouth. The thought of it thrilled me. Heat grew between my legs as I lavished Dex with my lips and tongue, seeing how far I could take him before he lost himself in me.
“Fuck,” he whispered as I took a long, slow suck up the shaft of his cock, pulling off with a pop. And that’s what finally did him in. “I can’t stop.”
I smiled up at him; his eyes fluttered and practically rolled into the back of his head. Then I opened wide as Dex hooked his fingers around the back of my head and brought me down on him. I sucked him through every pulse of his orgasm, taking every drop he had to give me. Toward the end, his knees buckled and he had to reach back and steady himself by grabbing the bathroom counter. Finally, he sank down and knelt in front of me. The shower ran hot beside us, f
illing the room with steam. Dex kissed me slow and deep and we helped each other up and stepped over the side of the tub.
He turned me away from the water and bent me forward with a strong hand at the center of my back. I angled my ass up for him, my muscles clenched and ached, waiting for Dex to fill me. The power of my need had me quaking. Dex plunged deep in me, his dick still rock hard even though he’d already spent himself. He fucked me hard and I braced my hands against the shower walls. While still inside me, Dex reached back and pulled the shower sprayer off its holster. I gasped when I realized what he was about to do. Dex adjusted the nozzle and brought it around. With Dex hard, thick and deep within me, he reached around and worked me with the shower nozzle, letting the jets hit me in my most sensitive spots.
The sensations were so intense, I felt like my skin couldn’t contain them. The gentle spray struck my swollen clit like a thousand probing fingers, sending an electrical current through my whole body. I came almost instantly. It was my turn for my knees to buckle and Dex brought his other arm around to keep me in position. All the while, he kept the nozzle steady, rendering me helpless against the relentless jets. I came in wave after deep wave of pleasure. Just when I thought I was cresting down, desire built again and Dex coaxed another orgasm out of me. I wriggled and squirmed, trying to turn away or control the sensation but Dex held me firm, controlling my pleasure and making me ride each new wave as it came. With his cock, his hands, and that shower nozzle he claimed me, owned me, made me his again and again.
Finally, I sank against him unable to take it anymore. If Dex came again, I didn’t even know. I felt numb and sated, barely able to hold myself. A slow, satisfied grin came over Dex’s face as he turned me around to face him. He holstered the shower nozzle and grabbed a fresh wash cloth from the basket next to the tub. He took his time lathering me and himself with soap. I leaned against the wall, and let him tend to me. I could hardly feel my arms and legs. When he finished, he helped me out of the tub and sat me down on the vanity chair so he could help me dry.
“I think I like you like this,” he said. “I’ve finally found a way to fuck you senseless.”
I smiled, leaned down and kissed the top of his head as he knelt before me and toweled off my feet. He kissed each of the arches, sending a fresh tingle through my whole body.
“I’m not going to be able to move for about an hour, much less lift patients.”
Dex seemed immune to my protests as he dragged me to my feet again and helped me stagger back out into the bedroom. “Now, I’ve just got to figure out a way to tie you down so you don’t squirm so much the next time we do that.”
I shuddered. He’d found the perfect blend of torture and pleasure and I’d be lying if said I didn’t hope he could find a way to do just what he said. “Next time! It’s going to take me a week to recover from this time.”
Dex laughed in that deep, sexy timbre that sent goosebumps across my shoulders. “We’ll just have to train you to build up your tolerance. Should be fun.”
I took a mock swing at him which he neatly dodged. After we were dressed, I knew I’d have to walk through the gauntlet of knowing glances from any of the club members who might have heard our shower scene through the Den’s thin walls. Sometime soon, we were going to have to come up with different sleeping arrangements. We’d both been afraid to talk about it, I think. It meant a new level to our relationship that I know Dex was worried I wouldn’t take. And I was just as worried about what I’d say if he asked.
My legs still felt like rubber as I climbed on the back of Dex’s bike and slid my helmet over my ears. I put my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek against his back, taking in the warm, heady scent of the soft leather of his cut. He kick started the bike and the engine roared beneath us as we sped off toward the hospital.
***
“You’ve got a head lac in three, a four-year-old with a sour belly in one and a couple of sorority sisters who’ve learned the dangers of mixing too much weed and Boone’s Farm in two.” Joleen handed me a stack of charts with a smile.
I missed her. With me spending so much time with Dex on my off hours, we barely saw each other anymore. She’d also rotated to day shift. While I preferred working with her, I loved walking in knowing she would have everything in order when I got there.
“Sounds pretty fantastic,” I said and I meant it. I was hoping for a nice, quiet, run-of-the-mill night. Of course, those were the ones that usually ended in a shit storm, but for now I’d take what I could get.
Joleen followed me into the locker room as I changed into a fresh pair of scrubs and she changed out of her stale ones.
“How’re things with tall, dark and alpha male?” Joleen winked at me.
I smiled and shrugged. “Mostly just pure fun.” It was the truth and I didn’t mind admitting it.
“Got a ring on your finger yet?” Joleen grabbed my left hand and inspected. The question took me off guard a little bit and I jerked my hand away a little rougher than I intended. She nodded and gave me a conspiratorial wink.
“That isn’t something either one of us is even thinking about, Joleen.”
She raised a brow. “Right. Have you seen him when he’s looking at you, Ava? That guy is one hundred percent in love with you. He’s not just having fun. You know that, right? He’s pissed a figurative circle around you.”
“That’s a lovely image.” I shrugged as I looped my stethoscope around my neck and shoved a couple of pens in my pocket. If I could make it through the shift without someone making off with either of them I’d consider myself lucky.
“It’s not something we talk about. Honest.” I held three fingers up in a Girl Scout salute.
“What do you talk about?”
I sank down on to the bench. I wasn’t in the mood for a heart-to-heart on the subject but Joleen always had a way of making me talk. She ought to go to work for the C.I.A.
“For the most part, we just like to be, you know? It’s kind of nice. It wasn’t like that the first time around. Things were fast and furious and intense. We’ve both been through so much ... it’s just easier for us to not talk about everything.”
Joleen shook her head as she sank down next to me. “So what you’re trying to say is that you’re both too busy fucking you don’t have time to talk about anything real. I gotta say, Ava, that’s not half bad as a relationship strategy. I ought to try that next time around.”
I nudged her hard with my elbow in jest, nearly knocking her off the end of the bench. The truth was, she wasn’t wrong. Sex had always been our default way of dealing with things. It was true thirteen years ago and it was even truer now. Dex had started asking me questions about Iraq. I asked him questions about the penitentiary. We gave each other pat answers and not five minutes later I went down on him. It had been easier to finish him off than the conversation.
“Fine.” Joleen put her hands up in surrender. “I won’t pry into your business anymore right now. As it happens, I’ve got a hot date of my own. I’ve been seeing a surgical intern.”
“An intern?” I said the word like it tasted bad in my mouth. “How old is he?”
Joleen shrugged. “Twenty-six, twenty-seven. He’s a friend of Chris’s.”
At the mention of Chris, we both went quiet for a second. I had about three missed calls from him and a half-dozen unanswered texts. He deserved better from me and I felt like shit for not being brave enough to give it to him. He was another hard subject I found it easier to just avoid altogether.
“You’ve got to talk to him,” Joleen said. “I know he wasn’t your boyfriend or anything. But he cares about you, Ava. You kind of left him hanging when Dex blew back into town.”
“I know.” I stood up and put my hands on Joleen’s shoulders, turning her so we both faced the locker room door. “I just don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to say to him.”
“How about the truth? Your ex is back and you aren’t quite finished with
him yet. It’ll hurt like hell for him to hear that, but not as much as leaving him in the dark. If you hadn’t noticed, you seem to be a hard woman for men to get over. Must be rough.”
“Ouch.”
“It’s your lucky night,” Joleen said, holding the door open for me. “Chris is working the night shift at the pharmacy tonight. He takes lunch around ten. I told him to look you up.”
Joleen shot me a big, white-toothed smile and I could have punched her. She left me standing in the doorway with my mouth hanging open as she waved and sprinted for the exit.
“Traitor!” I called out as the automatic doors slid behind her.
***
Chris showed up, but it wasn’t until a few minutes before the end of my shift. I knew that wasn’t an accident. He likely hoped I’d have fewer options for excuses not to talk to him. I had to at least give Joleen credit for giving me the heads up. It gave me a few minutes to figure out what to say. He was a sweet guy and Joleen was right. If Dex hadn’t come back, we’d probably be on our sixth or seventh date by now. Chris was cute in a Joseph Gordon-Levitt kind of way. He was the kind of guy I should be with, I supposed. Solid. Steady. Drama free. A pharmacist. If my parents were still around they would have loved him. But he wasn’t Dex. He eclipsed every other man in my life before or since and I was coming to the point where I was going to have to face that.
Chris smiled at me across the hall; his brown eyes shone and I swear he had a bona fide spring in his step when he came to the nurse’s station. We had a counter between us and I was glad for it. I would have stiffened when he reached out to hug me and it wasn’t fair.
“You have time to grab breakfast or some coffee?” Chris asked. God, he reminded me of a puppy and I felt like an asshole. He deserved so much better and Joleen had been right to give me a figurative kick in the ass about him.
Misty was working intake and she gave me a raised brow. We were positively dead tonight. I could have probably left for dinner and a show and not miss anything. “You can cut out now, if you want to, Ava. We can cover for you,” she said. I had a sinking feeling Joleen put her up to it and I turned and gave her side eye. She just smiled brighter.
