by Dani René
I nod. I can’t find the words. As much as I know that’s what he needs from me, to hear my agreement, I can’t give it to him.
He raises the small leather crop and brings it down hard on my mound. The sting sends me into orbit. My head drops back and I cry out his name. There’s one thing I know about Carrick better than any other sub in this place, and that is he loves to hear his name being cried out in pain, or pleasure.
“Such a pretty cunt. I want to hurt it. You like when I hurt you. Don’t you, Eva?” he questions once more, his voice thick and raspy. His gaze is locked on me, almost as if he needs to look at me to continue, to hold onto all his restraint.
“Yes, Carrick.” I don’t call him Sir because he doesn’t own me. This isn’t a Dom and sub, Master and slave, this is me and the man who stole my virginity when I offered it to him on a silver Mercedes Benz.
He brings the leather down, again and again, marking my body with it. The red welts rise on my smooth, tender skin. My clit throbs with need for this man. For him to take the ache in my chest and fuck it away.
“Carrick, please?” I plead like a wanton slut. He halts all movements. His gaze penetrates me deeper than his cock ever could. Not because he’s not well-endowed in the area, quite the opposite, but because he looks into my soul. He sees my pain. Like it’s a living breathing entity between us. He understands, but there’s one thing I know for certain about Carrick Anderson, and that is he will not fuck me. He knows my heart is filled with love for someone else. He’ll whip me, spank me, hurt me, but he’ll never give me anything more than that.
“Let’s get a few things clear, Eva. Yes, I want to fuck you, perhaps more than any other woman in this fucking place.” He gestures to the window, to the club below us. “But if I ever get the chance again, to shove my dick into your tight little cunt, it will be because you want me, not because I’m your source of relief from the ache of your heartbreak.” Even though I expected it, his words are a blow to me. They slam into my chest, intensifying the ache that’s so fresh.
I drop my legs, shutting myself off from him. He sees it immediately.
“Bend over my desk,” he grunts, but I ignore the order, grabbing the dress I left on the floor. “Now.” One word rumbled in that tone is all I need. I stalk over to his desk and bend at the waist, my naked breasts squashed on the wooden top. My hands grip the edges, knowing that something is coming. His foot kicks both mine apart, and once again, I’m open to him. “If you move, I’ll make it hurt even worse than when I took your virginity,” he promises.
I hear clicking, shuffling. I can’t see what he’s doing but the anticipation is too much. Then I hear the whoosh of thick leather. His belt. The burn catapults me into a dark abyss. The sting on my ass feels like he’s just set my flesh alight. As if there’s flames licking their way over the globes of my ass, he whips me, over and over again.
I raise up onto my toes with each lash. Tears stream from my eyes, but in the pain, I find solace for a moment. The agony that was gripping my chest in its vile claws releases me into the space I need to feel at ease. To let go of Nate and to just be me.
When I hear the loud clank of the buckle falling to the floor, I sigh. Even though I want to, I don’t move. Then his hands are on me. Massaging the cooling balm into the welts. His touch is gentle, a vast contrast to the way he just violently whipped me.
“You took twelve. It’s a lot.” His remark makes me smile through the discomfort. There’s pride in his tone and I feel like I’ve done something right, for the first time in months. The burning sensation on my ass eases slightly from his attention, then he helps me up, offers me my dress which I slink into.
He hands me a shot glass filled to the brim which I accept gratefully.
“You need to rest. Go to my apartment, take two aspirin, and sleep. I’ll be up in three hours.” The keys he holds out to me are to the top floor of the building. Mason and Carrick both own penthouses above the club, but Carrick is the only one who stays here. I don’t thank him. I don’t respond because I don’t need to. I take the keys and make my way to the door. Before I step out, he murmurs under his breath. “Fucking asshole.” And I know he’s feeling guilty for what he’s just done.
17
Nate
I haven’t been to the club in two days. I couldn’t bring myself to walk into the place knowing that she’s there. Knowing she’ll be on stage, introducing the live acts. Hearing her voice would set me off. I don’t want another sub, slave, toy. I don’t want any other woman, but Eva. And I can’t have her.
If she finds out about what I did, why I was with her in the first place, she’ll never forgive me. So, I’ve played out what I needed to for her to move on. What I did was wrong. How I treated her, when I realized I loved her, I knew I was fucked.
All my life I searched for the perfect woman. Not perfect physically, but emotionally. She was the one who gave me everything I needed. She was it for me. She obeyed, challenged, and made me want more. Most of all she accepted me for who I was. She saw the darkness in me and she gave it light, allowing me to finally feel at ease with who I am. I’d changed in the short time more so than I ever thought I would.
After the first week, I noticed it. I’d become more about her and less about sharing and humiliation. I didn’t want to look at another woman. When we walked into Sins, it was Eva and me. Only us. That’s all that mattered to me. Until my past reared its ugly head with a threat that would shatter her worse than I ever could. The agreement I’d signed came back to bite me in the ass. I sold my soul to the devil and I have no way of getting out of it.
Addiction, greed, and stupid choices brought me here. I’ve done this to myself. Making sure my future was secure in a career I’d always dreamed of, I realize now that money isn’t all that matters. Allowing myself to feel, to show emotion was something I believed showed weakness. In my mind, love was unheard of. My desires and needs, made me different from an early age. When I first dominated a woman at the tender age of nineteen, I knew my life would never be the same. Degrading a woman, making her feel like less than nothing, was something I’d hungered for. Over time, I got worse, I fucked, I gambled, and I severed any emotional ties in my life.
Eva took what I gave her. She absorbed me like I was part of her and I believe without a doubt that she is, and will always be the other half of me, the missing piece that somehow fit in my fucked-up life. I sit back in my chair, and remember the second time I used her with another woman.
“This is going to be fun, Eva. Try for me?” She nods. As we step into the room, I find another beautiful brunette kneeling for me. “I want you naked beside her,” I tell my sweet slut. “Open your legs, Jessie,” I order, the woman on her knees obeys, flashing me her clean shaven pussy. Smooth and tight. “Touch yourself. I want to see your juices drip onto the floor.”
I glance up for a moment, seeing the flashing lights. I know there’s an audience. Eva settles beside our toy for the night, her gaze trained on me, waiting instruction. I can see the trepidation in her gaze. She wants to please me, but doesn’t want to share me. It doesn’t work like that, sweetheart.
“Rub your pussy for me, sweet slut,” I command Eva. She moves her hand between her legs, tentatively stroking herself with her eyes never leaving mine. “Jessie, lie back, open your legs and get those ankles close to your ears. Eva is going to eat your cunt.” That’s when she shoots me daggers. Her blue eyes blaze with anger. “Are you embarrassed, slut?”
“No, Sir,” she all but spits the words. Anger. So pretty on her. She moves to the woman who’s lying on the plush carpet. I palm my dick, watching my beautiful woman lick the cunt of another. Her tongue laps at the wetness now glistening on Jessie’s lips.
The sight is beautiful. I shove off my slacks, pushing my boxers down along with them. Once I’m naked from the waist down, my shirt still on, hanging open, I reach for Eva, tugging her up.
“On the bed.” I pull Jessie up, moving her onto the black sheet that c
overs the mattress with her head hanging over the edge. Her mouth open and waiting for me. “Eat her cunt, sweetheart,” I coo at Eva, watching shame paint her beautiful face. My cock throbs at her discomfort. I’m a vile person needing her like this. Aching for her to hate me, to get hard. There’s no emotion. No affection. I hate myself enough as it is.
As soon as her mouth goes to work, I slam my hard cock into Jessie’s throat. The harsh sound of her gagging on my length only makes me want to ram in deeper. To see the spit dripping down her pretty face. My hips slam into her, using her mouth the same way I’d use her cunt. I reach for her nipples, twisting and tugging them harshly, almost violently as I gag her on the tip of my cock. Her screams are muffled by me and the vibration sends jolts of pleasure up my shaft.
“Do you want me to feed her my cum, sweetheart?” Eyes the color of the ocean drench me in their dangerous pull, the ebb and flow dragging me into their depths, drowning me. She glares at me angrily. Good girl, I want to murmur, but I don’t. Pulling my cock from the woman’s mouth, I fist it, watching Eva as she devours her first cunt. Licking and lapping at it like a kitten at a bowl of milk. “On the floor.” In seconds, she’s off the bed and at my feet, hungry for me. As I am for her.
As soon as her tongue darts out, her eyes trained on me, I shoot ropes of white seed on her face.
Painting her, marking her, and claiming her.
Mine.
The office is silent as I shake my head of the memory. That was one of many nights I spent with her, after we got home that night I fucked her until she couldn’t move. She was limp in my arms, but she curled into me like I already owned her.
I thought I’d been clever, finished the agreement and moved on. When I got the call, I knew would come my resolve broke. I asked for time. But the benefactor wasn’t going to let it go. She wouldn’t allow it and I had to make a choice. Even though I denied it would happen, my past indiscretions finally caught up to me.
It’s true what they say, all lies eventually come to light. Anything you hide behind will be seen. I knew soon Eva would learn that I knew who she was as soon as she told me her last name. By the time Marissa called me to give me a choice, it was too late to come clean. Too late to tell Eva everything. The only option I had was to walk away and keep her, and me safe.
Two long fucking days without her and I’m numb. The realization that I do love her, more than I ever let on, pulls me into the dark, and I don’t know how I’m going to expel her from my heart and mind, or from the depth of my soul. She’s more ingrained in me than I want to admit to myself, or to her. I haven’t had a woman since I walked out of the room leaving her with my release dripping from her pussy. I’m an asshole.
My phone buzzes on the desk, vibrating along the wooden surface. When I pick it up, I swipe across the screen to answer. “Carrick?”
“You’ve seriously fucked this up man,” his thick English accent comes through the line in a heavy warning that’s pure anger. I promised him I’d look after her, but all I’ve done was hurt her. He has every right to walk into this office and put a bullet in my head. I wouldn’t fight him if he tried.
“Tell me something I don’t know. I didn’t have a choice. There wasn’t a future for us,” I respond, knowing he’s not happy with the way I handled things.
“She is in my apartment. Came to me the day after you left wanting to play a scene. Begged me to in fact. She asked me to take her pain away,” he informs me. His words set my blood to boil as jealousy lashes me with its venomous tongue.
“Excuse me?” I grit out through clenched teeth. I have no reason to be upset, I let her go. But the thought of his cock anywhere near her only serves to anger me.
“I didn’t fuck her. However, I did whip her ass that night. I just wanted to let you know she’s been staying with me since then. I can’t let her go home alone.” He sighs. “She’s broken up over this, Nate. You need to sort your shit out.” His warning is clear, I need to somehow find a way to make sure she’s okay.
“There’s no way I can be with her. I’m not—” My words are halted when I hear a soft voice on the other end of the line. It’s her. Beside him. My grip on my phone is so tight I’m half expecting it to shatter or disintegrate.
“No, Eva. I’ll be there now. Just go to bed,” he tells her, the words are muffled and it sounds as if he’s got his hand over the speaker. Not well enough, Fucker! “Sorry, I just think you need to sort this out. Talk. Just hear her out. Tell her what’s going on, she’ll understand.”
“I can’t. There’s no way she’ll understand what I did. What I had to do. If she finds out it will hurt her even more and I can’t see that happen.”
He chuckles wryly down the line. “So, it’s okay for everyone else to see her hurt? You’re a fucking pussy man. This woman loves you. And if you don’t make her yours, claim her, I promise you, someone else will very fucking soon.” He doesn’t need to tell me that he’s talking about himself. Because I know he wants her.
“Fuck you, Carrick. If you put your dick anywhere near her, I’ll slice it off with no qualms.” My words are poison, spat out in anger. When Eva told me she and Carrick were an item, it took all my restraint not to find him and kill him. I’m not good with jealousy. I’m the asshole that thinks if he can’t have you no one else will. Even though I walked out on her knowing she’d go to him, the reality is far more painful than I thought it would be.
“If she’s begging for it, I’m not going to deny a beautiful woman,” he says confidently, before hanging up, leaving me raging. Just then, my office door opens and in strolls the source of all this shit.
“Nathan, nice to see you again.” She’s dressed in a red two-piece business suit, skirt and jacket with a white blouse beneath. Her lips are fire-engine red, and her shoes match the outfit. Her long dark hair is pinned in a tight bun, making her face look severe. Botox, plastic surgery, everything about her is fake and in my desperation, I didn’t see it. Her eyes are a dark blue, but they shoot fire when she lays them on me. A viper. A poisonous snake. When I agreed to her contract, I sold my soul to the devil, and right now, she’s standing in my office.
“What do you want? I’ve done what you asked me. It’s over between Eva and I,” I inform her in frustration. She slinks into the chair opposite my desk and watches me with a satisfied smirk. A woman of power. The only person who can force me to walk away from the woman I love.
“I’ve come to see how you’re handling not being around the little slut.” The snake before me spits her venom. Rising from my seat, I round my desk. Leaning in, I grip her neck, lifting her from the seat. I watch as the pupils of her blue eyes dilate with excitement.
“If you ever call her that again, I’ll make sure that you’re six-feet under with no one standing beside your filthy grave. You got what you wanted. Two long fucking years of my life you’ve been in charge, you’ve ruled over me with that fucking list of yours because I was stupid enough to listen to you. No more. You will leave Eva alone, she has nothing to do with our agreement.” When I release her, I step back, watching her smirk as if she’s won the goddamn jackpot.
“Nathan Ashcroft, there’s nothing you can threaten me with. I have proof of you taking the money. So, if you’d like your sweet Eva to find out what a piece of filth you are I can make that happen with one message. And I can’t imagine she’d want anything to do with you if she knew. Do you?” She steps by me, heading to the window. Her gaze trained on the city below. “She’s a sweet girl, you know.” Her words soften as she turns to me again. “She doesn’t deserve someone like you, but if you feel differently by all means. Go ahead, tell her what a greedy piece of shit you are. And because you like to play in those voyeur rooms, I have some beautiful footage of the type of monster you are,” she informs me, causing my blood to run cold. Of course, she’s got evidence of that, because she’s the one who loves to be the voyeur. If there was a way to get her in that room, I’d have leverage, but I know she’s too cunning to fall for a p
lot like that.
Her expression turns evil, sinister in the worst way and I know she’s not joking. I’m not good for Eva. I’ve gambled my way to the bottom, and when Marissa walked into my life offering me a way out, I took it. She gave me the money to keep A&B Finance afloat, but in return she gave me a list of girl’s names, only their first name and a photo. Women she told me needed to be taught a lesson. You see, Marissa is a special sort of vile creature. She gets off watching the humiliation of slaves, submissives.
If Eva ever found out why I went into Sins that night to ask for her specifically because I’d had a list that had her name on it, she’d never talk to me again. She was my last slave to degrade. She was the one who sealed the contract that I wouldn’t lose my business. I knew her before I’d even laid eyes on her. But the problem is, Eva finding out would cause her to hate me for other reasons entirely.
I never told Asher, or anyone for that matter, what I did. Losing five-million dollars of one of our top clients would have put me under. My gambling debt was out of control. And in walked Marissa Gallagher. She knew I was a Dominant, because she’d watched me. Calculating. Cold. A hunter. And for once in my life, I was the prey.
My greed for money put me in her line of sight.
My need for humiliation and degradation made me perfect for her plan.
And it was my downfall.
And I broke the only jewel I ever owned.
18
Eva
The dungeon is quiet, but I feel him behind me. I always sense him walk into a room. We’ve been tethered to each other since we first laid eyes on the other. Since the first time I kneeled for him, I knew there was something different about Nathan Ashcroft and I knew the moment he spanked me, I was hooked. His power, that commanding force that follows him like a fog leaves me desperate for more.
