Too close.
"Jared, I want to talk to you."
No! I scream silently, terror raging through me when her voice sounds again. Please, no.
She can't be out there.
She just can't.
"Jared, are you in there?" she says again, tapping on our front door.
His eyes are locked on mine as he takes a step backward, silently daring me to call out to her. Daring me to say something to warn her, to beg her not to come through that door. He knows… he fucking knows I can't let her walk into the middle of this.
And as soon as the words to keep her out leave my lips, I'm dead.
Already, his finger is on the trigger.
Oh God, baby. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry.
I feel helpless, completely eviscerated as I stand there, torn between two options that will devastate her. Every part of me needs to keep her safe, and I can't. If I open my mouth to warn her, he's going to kill me. If I don't… she's going to walk in here and he's going to make her watch him do it.
I don't even care that I'm going to die. All I care about is what my death will do to her.
All I can see is her sweet face, those beautiful doe-eyes wide as she smiles at me, so much love and hope and joy in her expression, it brings me to my knees. All I can hear is her voice, crying out as she shakes and trembles beneath me, her hair plastered to her face and my name echoing around us. All I can think about is her.
Every beat of my heart is for her.
I love her. Christ, I love her.
And I can't save her from this.
All I can do is keep her from watching him kill me, to keep her from living with that horror. I'd give her anything, but I don't want to give her this.
I don't have a choice.
No matter what you hear, don't open that door, baby. Don't come in here. Please, don't fucking come in here. I love you. I love you. God, I love you.
The doorknob wiggles, turning.
"Savannah, run!" I scream, diving toward her tormentor the second her name leaves my lips. "Run, baby!"
A gunshot rings out.
Pain explodes in my chest.
My body crashes into his, dragging us both to the floor.
"Jared!" Savannah screams.
The front door flies open, slamming against the wall.
My eyes catch on her momentarily, the stark terror on her face sending my heart in a swan dive toward my stomach. Fear rushes through me in an endless flood, terror for her driving me even as blood runs down my side from the wound in my chest. Breath wheezes out of my lungs in a gurgle. It feels as if I've been run through with a hot poker, fire burning, burning, burning every time I try to inhale.
"Run," I grit out to her, planting my elbow in McKee's face. The blow is weak, but it's enough to throw him off balance for a moment. I twist his wrist, trying to get him to loosen his hold on my gun.
He grunts, jerking out of my weak hold.
I don't have the strength to keep fighting him. The room spins around me, everything hazy and out of focus. The bullet punctured a lung. If I'm lucky, I have a few minutes left… less until I lose consciousness altogether.
"Fuck you," McKee snarls, slamming the weapon into my skull, right above my temple.
Pain rips through my head, stealing what little breath I had left. I collapse back against the floor, gasping. Everything in me screams for me to get up, to keep fighting, to keep him away from Savannah, but I can't move. I can't breathe.
McKee kicks me hard before leaping to his feet and spinning to face Savannah.
I want to scream again for her to run, but I can't get the words out.
His gun comes up, pointed at her head. "Savannah," he says, taking a step toward her. "Look what you made me do."
She's immobile in the doorway, her eyes locked on me, agony in her expression. If she hears him, she doesn't react. Silent tears leak from the corners of her eyes and she rocks on her heels as if caught between staying in place and rushing toward me. The look in her eyes sears me, so much more painful than the wound in my chest or the inability to breathe. She looks like she's in hell, her lips trembling as she mumbles to herself, words I barely hear.
"Please, don't leave us." She says it over and over, begging me to stay with her.
Evans looms behind her suddenly, a dark shadow filling the doorway, the unmistakable chrome flash of a gun in his hands. She lurches, falling to her knees as he shoves her out of the way of the gun trained in her direction.
Another gunshot rips through the night a split second later, followed by another.
Evans jerks, but his aim doesn't waver.
A surprised cry rushes from McKee's lips when another shot rings out. Warm blood splatters across my face from the wound between his eyes, his shout ending abruptly. As quickly as he reentered Savannah's life, he's gone. Dead.
My gun falls from his slackened grip, landing with a muted thud.
For a split second, everything in the room is silent. I can hear distant shouts, sirens, and the rustle of wind through the trees outside. Smell the rain falling in sheets outside. And then a loud cry breaks from Savannah's lips and she's in front of me, hovering over me. Her tears drip onto my face.
"Please, no," she pleads through broken sobs. "Please, Jared. Please."
I want to tell her that I'm okay. That she shouldn't cry for me. Now that she's safe, I have everything I need. There are so many things I want to tell her. How fucking sorry I am. How this isn't her fault and I'd do it a thousand times over to keep her safe. How much I love her. But the words won't come.
"I love you," I manage to mouth, committing her face to memory one last time.
And then I'm drifting away, lost.
Chapter Eighteen
Lay Me Down
"His blood pressure is dropping."
"Heart rate is thirty."
"Twenty-seven."
Painful sobs and hysterical screams follow.
Savannah.
"Please," she begs, her voice broken, full of pain and anguish. And so close. So, so close, I feel her body shaking, tremors wracking her as she clings to me. I want to reach out for her, to console her, but I can't seem to make my body move.
"You promised me," she cries.
Sweet girl, I love you. I'm sorry.
"Ma'am, we need room."
"Agent Corbit, we need you to stay with us, sir," another voice says.
And I want to. I desperately want to stay right here with my girl, but pain tears through me, shredding my insides, clawing through my brain. It hurts. Christ, it hurts.
"He's crashing!" someone yells.
"No!" Savannah screams. "No!"
I'm drifting, completely detached and numb. I don't feel anything, and somehow, I know that's wrong. That I should feel something. Should see something… but I don't.
I struggle, fighting to open my eyes, to reach my girl. Where is she? Why isn't she here? I need to get to her. I need to tell her… something.
"Agent Corbit, can you hear me?"
I stop struggling, listening to the calm voice calling for me.
"I need you to hang on," the voice says more urgently. "Just hang on."
I'm trying, I want to say, but my mouth doesn't work. Nothing does.
Everything blurs and begins to fade.
Savannah, I love you.
"He's crashing again!"
Something warm drifts across my face, soothing, familiar. I try to follow the motion, try to remember what it is or who I am, but I feel so sluggish, lethargic. I want to open my eyes, curl into the warmth surrounding me. What is it? Why does it feel so right? So perfect?
"I don't know if you can hear me," a sweet voice whispers, and then that warmth drifts across my face again. A hand?
Yes, someone's touching me, gentle fingers sliding in soothing circles across my cheekbones.
Savannah.
Excitement fires in my chest. A flood of memories wash through me, soft and gentle like rain, and then bri
ght and intense like a comet. A meteor streaking across the sky. She's at the center of each of them, eclipsing everything else.
"They said you could," she whispers, sniffling, "but I don't know. If you are listening though, if you can hear me… I need you to come back to us, Jared. I didn't mean what I said. I was so scared, but I didn't mean any of it. Come back to us, please. I can't do this without you."
A drop of water falls on my face, and then another. Tears.
She's crying.
"I love you. Please don't leave us."
I wake in increments, more exhausted than I've ever been before. Everything hurts. There's an intense burn in my chest, and another in my throat that feels as if I've swallowed razorblades. My body feels heavy, weighed down and strange. There's something warm beside me, something familiar. It feels… nice. Like it belongs.
Where am I?
What happened?
Christ, I hurt.
My eyes struggle against the heaviness, fighting to open so I can figure out where I am. The warmth at my side shifts, and then an angel speaks, her voice so soothing, so adoring. So familiar.
"Jared?"
Small hands cup my face, trembling against my skin. Peace filters through me as soon as I feel them. The pain lessens, no match for the rush of tenderness that touch sends swirling through me. My fingers twitch, aching to reach out and grasp the angel, to keep her with me.
"Agent Corbit?"
The angel moves away, taking the warmth with her. I try to frown, pissed that this new voice took her away. I want her back. She's… important to me. No. She's everything to me.
Savannah?
Yes, that's right.
Her name is Savannah, and she's my world.
And I'm… goddamn, I'm in pain.
What happened to me?
I wrack my brain, trying to remember. Memories filter in slowly, little more than flashes and grainy images. They're all out of order, all mixed up and jumbled. I remember Savannah… and Toby McKee. My heart rolls, panic surging through me when his face looms suddenly into view. I'm supposed to be protecting Savannah from him, keeping her safe.
"Agent Corbit, I need you to calm down," that stiff, formal voice says again. Frigid hands clutch at me, holding me down as I struggle, trying to get up, to get to my girl before McKee does. If he touches her, I'll kill him.
"Agent Corbit, if you can hear me, my name is Dr. Jansen. I work with your father. You're in the Intensive Care Unit at UCSF. You were shot, and you have a breathing tube in right now. I need you to calm down for me until we can get it removed, please."
I was shot?
"Jared, please," that sweet voice whispers, pleading with me softly. "Please calm down."
Savannah.
She's here.
Relief slams into me so forcefully, my muscles instantly relax. Those frigid hands tighten on me, pinning me in place. I let them hold me down, instead focusing on my eyes, on getting them to open. It takes a minute, but little by little, they open onto bright white and an unfamiliar face hovering over me. The woman is older, middle-aged. Not important at the moment.
I roll my eyes to the right, and then to the left, trying to find my girl. When I can't, I look up at the woman, Dr. Jansen, again, pleading silently for her to get Savannah for me. I need to see her. I need to see for myself that she's safe.
"Ms. Martin," Dr. Jansen says calmly.
I want to cry when Savannah steps up beside her, sending relief shooting through me. Her face is pale and drawn, her eyes wide and rimmed in red. Shadows cling in the depths of her brown eyes as tears spring to the surface and fall down her face. She's still the most beautiful sight I've ever seen.
"Jared," she whispers, her bottom lip quivering. She reaches out toward me and then jerks her hand back, her eyes darting to the doctor. "C-can I-?"
"You can touch him so long as he stays still," she tells my girl, shuffling over to give her a little more room.
Savannah's hand slips into mine, rooting to me to earth, to life.
"I love you," she says, her voice breaking as her shoulders begin to shake. "I love you so much."
I drift in and out of sleep, unsure how much time passes, but content in the knowledge that Savannah is with me and she's safe. At some point, they remove the breathing tube, and I'm moved out of the ICU. Some of the other wires and tubes they've hooked up to me gradually disappear. I don't know what half of them are, or what they were meant to do, and I don't ask.
Dr. Jansen explained that the bullet punctured my left lung and came perilously close to nicking an artery. I'm lucky to be alive. I knew that even before she told me how bad it really was, and I'm grateful as hell for what they've done to patch me up.
I'm even more grateful that Toby McKee is dead, dropped by a single bullet to the head courtesy of Drake Evans. My girl is safe, thanks to him. McKee will never bother her again.
My eyes drift to her again. I can't stop looking at her, making sure she's really still here.
"Hey," she whispers when she realizes I'm awake, stretching her arms over her head. She looks so tired, like she hasn't slept in days. She's lost weight, too. Not much, but enough that her cheekbones appear sharper, her collarbones more pronounced. I hate how she forgets to eat when she's stressed.
"You aren't eating," I croak and then cringe at the sound of my voice. It's hoarse and my throat hurts like hell. So does my chest. There's a steady throb there, rising in intensity every time I try to breathe too deeply. I'm dying to rip the oxygen cannulas out of my nose, but I need them. I'm so weak, it's pathetic.
"I haven't been very hungry," she says softly, one hand on her stomach. She leans over and grabs the Styrofoam cup from the bedside table and helps me take a drink.
The cold water feels like liquid bliss sliding down my throat. I drink greedily, and then choke.
"Fuck," I groan, gasping for breath.
Worry fills Savannah's eyes. She reaches out to touch me and then jerks away again, like she's not sure exactly what to do to help me. Her eyes dart to the door and then back to me.
"Fine," I rasp, and take a moment to catch my breath. "I'm fine, beautiful girl."
She chews on her bottom lip, uncertain. But she slides her hand into mine when I reach for her. I settle back with a content sigh. Having her hands on me, even like this, is heaven. I never thought I'd touch her again. Hell, I wasn't sure I'd ever see her again.
"I've missed you," I murmur, turning my head so I can see her better.
"I thought you were-" Her voice cracks, tears filling her eyes again. She takes a deep breath, struggling to contain her emotions. "I thought you were gone," she whispers then.
"Told you I wasn't letting him take me away from you, love."
A tear slips down her cheek.
"Hey, what's wrong?" I try to reach up to cup her cheek, but give up before my arm even leaves the bed. Every muscle in my upper body hurts.
"You almost died, Jared." She shakes her head, pain flitting through her expression, dulling the warm brown color of her eyes. "I didn't know if you were going to come back to me." Her eyes fall closed, another tear sliding down her cheek. "I'm so sorry."
My brows draw together, a frown pulling at my lips. "For what?"
"For everything. For not telling you that I love you. For leaving. For Toby." Her eyes pop open. "For not getting there earlier. I was coming to talk to you. To tell you I didn't mean anything I said. And then I heard the gunshot." She shakes her head again, her mouth opening and closing soundlessly. "I'm so sorry."
"Come here." I tug gently on her hand.
She shuffles closer, but not close enough.
"I want you on the bed with me," I croak, trying to move over to give her room to lay with me. Moving fucking hurts and a low moan tumbles from my lips before I can stop it.
"Jared, no." She starts trying to push me back down, panic in her eyes. "You need to be still."
She's right, I know she is. "Want you beside me," I grumble, and then give
up, knowing damn well it's not going to happen right now. I settle, allowing her to fuss over me for a moment before her hand travels close enough to mine that I can snag it.
Her eyes drift to my face again. "I'm so-"
"Stop."
She instantly snaps her mouth closed.
"You don't apologize to me," I murmur more gently. "Not for that bastard. Not for being angry with me. Not ever, baby."
"But-"
"But nothing. If anyone should be sorry, it's me. You had every right to be angry with me, beautiful girl. You deserved the truth from me." I keep my eyes on her face, watching the parade of emotions my words send flickering through her expression. "I'm so fucking sorry, Savannah."
"Don't," she whispers, reaching out to touch my face. Her fingers tremble against my scruffy jaw, but they feel so good. "Don't be sorry."
"I am." My throat aches, and I'm so tired, but I have to get this out. She has to know how important she is to me. "There's so much I would do differently if I could. When I saw McKee, all I could think was that I'd never get the chance to fix things between us. You're my world, and I wasn't even sure if you knew that." I shake my head, frustrated with myself. I've made so many mistakes with her, hurting her without even trying. I need to start making that right. "I need you to know-" I take a deep breath and then grimace, my lung burning.
"Let me get you something for pain," Savannah says, reaching for the button to call my nurse.
"No. Not yet. Please," I add when she opens her mouth to argue.
She watches me for a second, frowning, and then she nods and reluctantly releases the call box.
"I need you to know," I start again, sliding my hand over hers again, "that I love you. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do. But, baby, it's my job to take care of you, to keep you safe. The thought of your mother getting close to you only to leave you again… I couldn't take that risk when McKee was already threatening you. You are everything to me, and I needed you safe."
Fresh tears fall down Savannah's face. "You're everything to me, too," she says, crying openly. "God, Jared, I was so scared when I saw you on the floor, bleeding. I thought I'd never get to tell you-"
All Cried Out (All Falls Down Book 2) Page 22
